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-   -   yes i am (http://www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=5130)

heidiho June 24th, 2004 12:38 PM

yes i am
 
Wasnt gonna post my problem,cause i know i will just get negative reaction,yes i had a guy stay the night last week,so damien had to go to his crate[he was in my bed]well ever since that night damien cringes if i go to pet him,if i give him a toy he takes it right to his crate,the other night he was laying on floor beside the couch i was petting him and he growled,i talked to the gr dog lady she called two people she knows,opne is a trainer,they said they have no doubt it is because i did have a man in the house,she said if i cant fix this she will re-home him,but she said it can be fixed i just need to get it fixed now...................She also said she knows i have pampered him,spoiled him way to much,and need to get assertive and let him know i am in charge not him...Please i do not want to hear how i need to get rid of him,if it doesnt work out i will,but she said damien is a very smart dog i just need to be smarter........

Luba June 24th, 2004 12:46 PM

Question, did this male friend of yours like Damien?
Did he try to discipline him or yell at him? What type of interaction did the two have?

Karin June 24th, 2004 12:55 PM

Damien is still young. Work with him, lead with your head, not your heart.

There are facts of life he will have to adjust to whether it is at your home or another...I think he is still pushing your buttons and you are allowing it.
At 6 months he is still all puppy, you need to get AND keep control of any situation now because a year from now he will be a much larger dog...and still pushing your buttons if you let him.

Just my opinion.

heidiho June 24th, 2004 12:58 PM

Funny you say that,it was my ex,here is what happend,damien was sleeping with me,about 11:00,my ex came over,me and damien went to the front door,my ex came in i took damien and made him go in his crate,he did not want to,my ex did not touch or pet him,then me and ex went to my room and shut the door,had a loud arguement,next morning i got up,kept the bedroom door shut,damien kept sniffing at door,when we got home that evening damien went to the bed and kept sniffing were my ex slept.damien wouldnt eat Nothingthat morning,ever since that night he will not let me pet him...................takes all his toys to his crate.cringes when i go to touch him,ears go back and then he growls,when i scolded him the other day for doing that he peed......

meowzart June 24th, 2004 01:08 PM

damien
 
Have you been to puppy/obedience school??? If not you must RUN not walk to sign up now! I've read some of your other questions, and it's great that you are asking lots of questions and obviously want to do well with Damien. But - it will be very irresponsible not to get control of your dog's behavior now. He deserves a chance to be a great pet, but needs to be shown how by somebody in charge. That would be you. :)

heidiho June 24th, 2004 01:30 PM

Karin you are so right..........I have been treating him more like a person then a pet,and he is a very smart little pup,he has taken over my apt....and i do need to fix it now........or we will not make it,tina[gsrd lady]told me he thinks i am his puppy playmate,not his master and when i greet him it should hi how are you good boy a little pet and that is it,we have been together since he was 7 weeks old,first two months i didnt work so we were always together,someone also told me he could be insecure cause of all the moving he has been through,got him in ohio moved to kentucky,moved from one place in kentucky to another,drove him here to phx,lived in a house,then got an apt,then took hin to the gsdr place,now he is back home again,he has been through alot..

Karin June 24th, 2004 01:35 PM

[QUOTE=heidiho]Funny you say that,it was my ex,here is what happend,damien was sleeping with me,about 11:00,my ex came over,me and damien went to the front door,my ex came in i took damien and made him go in his crate,he did not want to,my ex did not touch or pet him,then me and ex went to my room and shut the door,had a loud arguement,next morning i got up,kept the bedroom door shut,damien kept sniffing at door,when we got home that evening damien went to the bed and kept sniffing were my ex slept.damien wouldnt eat Nothingthat morning,ever since that night he will not let me pet him...................takes all his toys to his crate.cringes when i go to touch him,ears go back and then he growls,when i scolded him the other day for doing that he peed......[/QUOTE]

As with children, you should never argue in front of or in ear shot of your pet. Damien must have been very frustrated! (..and displaced) You took him from his comfort spot next to you, crated him and he had to hear obvious aggression towards you from the other room and could not get to you..
This is a very crucial learning age for him. No brownie points for you.
Next time leave Damien where he is and crate the ex.

heidiho June 24th, 2004 01:40 PM

oh my god,i am laughing my ass off,people are wondering what the hell is going on in my office.i love it...........................................i will crate the ex next time...................

heidiho June 24th, 2004 01:41 PM

How will i ever get damien to let me pet him like before..............

cutelittlemako June 24th, 2004 02:06 PM

If you treat your dog differently when you have company over your dog will start to think this is negative. You should not change his habits when something like this happens. If you let him sleep in your bed, do so all the time, if you don't want him to sleep in your bed, don't let him - but let him sleep beside you bed on a comfortable doggy bed. If you change his routine when you have visitors, he won't like it when you have people over, and i'm sure you don't want that.

Good Luck!

heidiho June 24th, 2004 02:12 PM

you are right about that he loved sleeping in my bed,i am a bad mom i have changed so much in his life,poor thing,well my room is now gated off til he is older....and i am sure he was pissed getting kicked out of bed to another guy.............................

LavenderRott June 24th, 2004 02:24 PM

Since he hasn't decided that you are the alpha dog in your home, you may want to stop the sleeping in your bed. Make him a nice doggy bed on the floor next to the bed. Once you have his respect, then he may be on the bed if INVITED.

heidiho June 24th, 2004 02:25 PM

I was thinking of doing that,but someone said i should treat my whole bedroom as my den and dont let him in there at all....

Luba June 24th, 2004 02:39 PM

P'd me off with what your x b/f did! Sounds like he's bit of an a'hole and maybe he has something to do with D's behaviour from when he was still with you as well.

I wouldn't let your b/f or ex b'f make ANY decisions about your puppy in YOUR home, that wasn't his place to do so and it was your place to tell him NOT to interfere like that!

So, I say the b'f was out of line!

Damien expected you to stand up for him and you didn't so he is upset with you and doesn't trust you.

Let him sleep in your room, a nice bed on the floor is just fine. :D

heidiho June 24th, 2004 02:41 PM

ok! that made me feel better,yeah that is why he is an ex..............i will get damien a bed tonight after work,some fool actually approved me for a credit card,what better way to break it in,then with damien..........Yeah my ex is NOT an animal person,actually he is not even a persons person...........................

LavenderRott June 24th, 2004 02:41 PM

My Missy had some issues believing that I was the boss for a while. We made her sleep on the floor for a while and she got the hint. If sleeping NEXT to the bed doesn't help at all, then boot him out of your den.

Goldenmom June 24th, 2004 02:41 PM

Heidi, it best that you give the trainer a call that the GSD lady was talking to. You need to hear it from a professional and take in all he has to say. See if he will talk to you over the phone. ASAP. I told you this would happen and it did. My girls were not allowed on our bed until the age of 1 or when I was completely satisfied they knew I was boss, not them. You will go into your room some night, Damien will be on it and I can guarantee, you won't be sleeping in it, because he won't let you. This happens all the time and you need to fix is now! You shouldn't have put Damien in the crate when the male came. He saw that as he was bad and the male good. You really have to think about what you do before you do it. It may effect Damien and he doesn't need anymore problems than he already has. Do not for any reason bring any children into your home until Damien has settled.

Heather, Shelby, Lexi and Ricki

heidiho June 24th, 2004 02:42 PM

yeah he will be on his new bed tonight,i hate not letting him sleep with me..................................so by my side will do til i get him under control............

Princesss04 June 24th, 2004 02:59 PM

Why if your ex is such a creep did he end up in your bed and the dog in the cage. I think your dog is confussesd why you are letting this man that he hates take his place in your life. It will take time but it will get better. Do not treat him any differnat when company comes over becuase he will see them as a bad thing not a good. Good luck :D

Luba June 24th, 2004 03:17 PM

Heidi oh oh oh instead of ho ho ho!

If the man is a creep keep him with the creep pile and don't let him creep back into your life and bed!!

Poor Damien!

You may nead to keep Damien on his leash at night so that he doesn't jump up on your bed for the first little while. But he'll get used to it. Before you go to bed sit on the floor with him and give him some attention.

heidiho June 24th, 2004 03:19 PM

Well this sucks,my vet just returned my call and said unless i get some quote'HARD TRAINING FOR THIS DOG' un quote i need to get him re-homed,see this is why i get so confused,he said i should not have to deal with this and i dont need this..uuuhhhhhhhhhh this sucks.............

Princesss04 June 24th, 2004 03:22 PM

What did you call and tell your vet?

Luba June 24th, 2004 03:22 PM

Well its about consistency

Damien has a sensitive personality and the b/f thing telling him what to do in his own home and putting him in a cage with his mom not saying anythin about it, what would you do?

Don't worry Heidi oh oh oh I had an ex that was the same way...he's still an ex and I never let him near my dog after I found out what he was like.

I fear that he may have hit my little Rusty and that was enough for me!

Anyway, you need professional assistance and advise, as Heather has mentoned and others including me many times. You had better get on it missy or things will be worse in no time!

Goldenmom June 24th, 2004 03:31 PM

Heidi, what did you say to the vet? Does the vet recommend anyone to you? They should be providing you with a list of someone that can help you. Obedience school in your area?

Heather

heidiho June 24th, 2004 03:33 PM

To be honest with you i never knew how smart they are,did not really think putting him in crate,cause someone came over would piss him off like this,he is the smartest,most stubborn dog i have ever seen,my gsdr lady cant believe he would continue on for over a week acting like this,i wish someone could witness this,cause it is un believeable to me and her...I have never seen anything like this,so does this dog even love me is my question???Now that the vet said that i dont know what i am gonna do,i need one on one training in my apt for this,and the guy my vet recommeneded is 300.00 i do not have that kind of money..

Goldenmom June 24th, 2004 03:36 PM

Call the guy anyway. Explain the situation etc. He will give you a good idea of what it will all involve. He may even take a payment plan? Won't hurt to call him. Please do it.

Heather

Princesss04 June 24th, 2004 03:38 PM

Honestly girl if you are going to keep the dog than you need to get help somewhere somehow. This is not fair for you or your dog! :)

LavenderRott June 24th, 2004 03:40 PM

Dogs don't have human emotions. Your dog is not jealous, doesn't hate you, isn't mad at you.

If you can't afford a dog trainer then you need to start looking on line for some help. I will see if I can find you a couple of good links. (By help, I don't mean someone who will tell you everything will be ok.)

To be very honest, you need to stop and give the next question some SERIOUS thought. Are you willing to do what it takes to make this dog an asset to society instead of a menace? I am talking about TIME and DILIGENCE, not so much money.

Don't take this wrong, as I don't mean to sound mean or negative, but I will say that if you didn't answer yes to that question, you need to give up the dog. The issues that you are having now are going to get MUCH worse if you don't put your foot down and walk the walk. No excuses. Your dog has the potential to be a dog bite statistic as it stands right now.

Goldenmom June 24th, 2004 03:43 PM

Heidi is babying this dog and needs to be firm, but loving. This is what happens when you "spoil" a big dog. They can walk all over you and before you know it, they are biters. Heidi, do you have a library around there? There are so many great books out there, that explain all this and step by step. But you need to WANT to do this, not just say ok, I'll try it. Think of it this way.... If you don't do it, he will have to go. Thats it, thats all. You want to be able to feel safe around your dog, as do others.

Heather

Luba June 24th, 2004 03:51 PM

Well said Heather

but LavR I disagree dogs do have emotions, and many of them replicate ours.
Please if you are interested peak at the link below and have a little read.

[url]http://www.ivillage.com/pets/vet/articles/0,,167006_420357,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=9208033[/url]

This is just one article about it LavR it's very very facinating...


pets often seem to soak up angry, sad or fearful feelings from family members who are experiencing tension or conflict over issues that have nothing to do with the animal. Frequent arguments in the home are especially stressful for a pet, who may react with irritability or fear. Emotional tensions in particular may affect health problems that have either a behavioral component (such as increased aggressiveness, destructiveness or extreme restlessness) or a nervous component (such as irritated skin, ears, bladder and the like). Just as a pet might react to losses, an emotionally stressed animal with a predisposition to skin or bladder problems, for example, might scratch or urinate still more, further irritating the tissues and setting up the conditions for a vicious circle.


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