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The Hormone Hostage

mastifflover
November 12th, 2004, 04:45 PM
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Sneaky2006
November 12th, 2004, 04:52 PM
I really really need to print that for my husband! Thanks for the laugh! :D

chico2
November 12th, 2004, 04:56 PM
Great stuff :thumbs up Although I am past those problems,I always have a supply of choclate,get them by the box at Costco :crazy:

Schwinn
November 12th, 2004, 05:42 PM
Cheryl can't eat chocolate...I am so doomed...

Bugsy
November 13th, 2004, 01:02 AM
Mastifflover :evil:

Why do I suddenly have an overwhelming craving for chocolate :eek: !!

jackieb
November 13th, 2004, 10:04 AM
lol very good i too am a real chocoholic English Cadburys chocolate cant beat it

glasslass
November 17th, 2004, 01:55 PM
Chico, here Costco bakery has a huge (10" - 4 layers) dark chocolate "All-American Chocolate Cake" for $15. Dark, Dark Chocolate! Extremely rich. We had a piece, then put it in the freezer and after frozen, cut it into sections and wrapped them up individually. I feel so decadent with a cache of gosh-awful-gooey in the freezer whenever I feel the need! :evil:

LavenderRott
November 17th, 2004, 02:18 PM
I once told a customer that you could tell a good woman by the amount of chocolate in her freezer. He told me that his ex wife never had chocolate in her freezer. I said "Your ex wife. That could explain things." He laughed and left.

I saw him about a week later, having forgotten the conversation. When he got to me to pay for his stuff, he said "You know, you were right about good women having chocolate in the freezer. My sister has lots of it!"

There is chocolate in my freezer. That way, when I am hormonal and my man is driving me NUTS I have something delish to keep me from killing him!

Schwinn
November 17th, 2004, 02:34 PM
Usually Cheryl just grabs something shiny and throws it in the other room...that gets rid both Daisy and I for a few hours...

mastifflover
November 17th, 2004, 02:35 PM
Oh Jackie you said the magic words Cadbury from England love top deck and mint crisp and I could go on and on and on. But if you have not tried it you will love it. It tastes nothing like the cadbury that is made here or the US.

chico2
November 17th, 2004, 04:35 PM
Actually,if anyone lives near an IKEA store,like I do.Swedish milkchoclate is wonderful and they sell it in their deli...the only place I know of for getting some Swedish goodies! Being Swedish,I am very proud of IKEA,I just wish I owned a part of it :D

shihtzulover
November 18th, 2004, 03:37 PM
Chico - I love ikea chocolate, its the best. We don't have an ikea here, but here there is talks underway about us getting one, you know what my freezer will be full of when we get one .......... ;)

chico2
November 19th, 2004, 08:27 AM
I hope you get an IKEA store,it's my favourite browsing-store and I actually HATE shopping.We brought some furniture with us to Canada,bought from the very first IKEA store in Sweden and now they are all over the world.A great store for young people just starting off.
Their"Marabou mjölk-choclate"is to die for.....

Karin
November 19th, 2004, 01:13 PM
I have never been a fan of chocolate. ( I always get a raised eyebrow look with that confession, I am Swede also)....but I do love Nutella. Milk Chocolate and Hazelnut spread.
I also love marzipan and will take it any way I can even if it is with chocolate, better if it's in dark chocolate.

raingirl
November 19th, 2004, 01:19 PM
Yeah. I'm not a chocolate person either. It's too sweet. I like the 70% bitter dark chocolate only really.

Ikea is the best store EVER. WHere do you live shihtzulover? I thought they had Ikeas everywhere by now.

sujean
November 19th, 2004, 01:29 PM
I have never been a fan of chocolate. ( I always get a raised eyebrow look with that confession, I am Swede also)....but I do love Nutella. Milk Chocolate and Hazelnut spread.
I also love marzipan and will take it any way I can even if it is with chocolate, better if it's in dark chocolate.

i too am not a big chocolate fan (i have been disowned by some of my friends b/c of it) but there is a german chocolate called ritter sport. oh my, the dark chocolate ("Halb Bitter") is perfect-not too sweet but so rich and yummy!! the other flavors aren't half bad either. canadians should be able to find it pretty readily as german food is pretty eaasy to come by up there...i would highly suggest trying this chocolate

and nutella ROCKS!!!!

Karin
November 19th, 2004, 01:40 PM
i too am not a big chocolate fan (i have been disowned by some of my friends b/c of it) but there is a german chocolate called ritter sport. oh my, the dark chocolate ("Halb Bitter") is perfect-not too sweet but so rich and yummy!! the other flavors aren't half bad either. canadians should be able to find it pretty readily as german food is pretty eaasy to come by up there...i would highly suggest trying this chocolate

and nutella ROCKS!!!!


Wow...I am not alone!

This made my day. All this time I thought something wasn't quite right...I hate chocolate...and I was considered a traitor.

Give me Mangos, bananas, pears or pineapple, or Marzipan..I am in heaven!

*needs to hide bananas from Ciara, her weakness too*

sujean
November 19th, 2004, 01:45 PM
Wow...I am not alone!

This made my day. All this time I thought something wasn't quite right...I hate chocolate...and I was considered a traitor.

Give me Mangos, bananas, pears or pineapple, or Marzipan..I am in heaven!

*needs to hide bananas from Ciara, her weakness too*

oh karin!! you live in florida too??? i am in tampa bay!!

yay florida! maybe it is too hot in florida for chocolate!!

chico2
November 19th, 2004, 04:38 PM
Karin,I too am totally hooked on Marzipan covered in dark choclate,I buy it from "Denningers"a german deli here.I love choclate,but that is the only treat I eat,don't like bagged cookies,donuts,chips,icing cakes etc.....strawberries dipped in choclate....yummy!!

Karin
November 19th, 2004, 05:54 PM
oh karin!! you live in florida too??? i am in tampa bay!!

yay florida! maybe it is too hot in florida for chocolate!!


I am about 2 hours NE of you. I tend to think citrus & chocolate do not mix well..lol!

Karin
November 19th, 2004, 06:08 PM
Karin,I too am totally hooked on Marzipan covered in dark choclate,I buy it from "Denningers"a german deli here.I love choclate,but that is the only treat I eat,don't like bagged cookies,donuts,chips,icing cakes etc.....strawberries dipped in choclate....yummy!!

I wish I had a place nearby to purchase my favorite munchies. I have learned to make my own..
Marschino (sp?) cherrie on top of a Marzipan square. ( place on waxpaper) Dribble until covered with melted semi sweet chocolate ( not hot but barely warm) When cooled they will have a slight "bubble" on top. I use a 16 gauge needle to insert Ammaretto Di Sireno liqueur. (Only a small amount) Then chill.

Been a while, I may need to make these very soon.