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australian q's asked by tourists

melanie
November 1st, 2004, 03:40 PM
the following Q and A was found on an australian tourism website, the answers came form a few aussies just trying to be helpful and all queations are real and were asked by coming tourists, so it is not only poor canadians who have to field dumb questions(its all just a bit of a laugh, dont take it seriously,))

1-Q does it ever get windy in australia? i have never seen it rain on TV so how do the plants grow?? (UK)
A -we import all plants from overseas and sit around watching them die.


2-Q will i be able to see kangaroos in the streets?? (USA)
A -well it depends on how much you've been drinking.


3-Q i want to walk from Sydney to Perth, can i follow the railway tracks?? (sweden)
A- sure, its only 3000miles, take lots of water.....



4-Q are there ATMs in australia, and could you please send me a list of their locations in brisbane, cairns, townsville and hervey bay??(UK)
A- what did your last slave die of??


5-Q can you give me some information about hippo racing in australia? (USA)
A- A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of euroupe, Aust-ra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. sure the hippo racing is every tuesday night in kings cross. come naked.


5-Qwhat direction is north in australia??

A- face south and turn 90 degrees, contact us when you get here and we will send the rest of the directions.


6-Qcan i bring cutley into Australia?(UK)
A- why?? just use your fingers like we do.


7-Q do you have perfume in australia? (france)
A- no, WE dont stink


8-Qcan you tell me the regions of tasmaina where the female populaiton is smaller than the male populaiton?(italy)
A -gay night clubs.


9-Q do you celebrate christmas in australia??(france)
A- only at christmas.


10-Q are there killer bees in australia?(germany)
A- not yet, but for you, we will import them.


11-Q is there supermarkets in sydney, and is milk available all year round??(germany)
A- no, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. milk is illegal.



12-Q can you give me the name of doctors in australia that can dispense rattle snake serum??(usa)
A- rattlesnakes live in a-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. all australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be saftley handled and make great pets.


13-Q can i wear high heels in australia??(UK)
A- your a brittish politician arent you??

14-Q can you send me the vienna boys chior schedule ?(USA)
A- Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering germany, which is....oh forget it. sure the vienna boys choir plays every tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. come naked.

lexah
November 1st, 2004, 03:54 PM
Bwahahahaha :D

I'll be happy to field any other Australian Q&As you may have :P

melanie
November 1st, 2004, 04:01 PM
sorry lexah, i forget my location is not at the top, i am very proud to say i am aussie too, live here and will die here :thumbs up i assume you an aussie too, if so those questions are just hilarious arent they, i could not believe it when i got it, sooooooo funny. im aussie and the other aussie around here is the lovely shelby who lives in canberra, what state you in, im in NSW :D

Shelby
November 1st, 2004, 05:20 PM
Hello, hello!!
Mel, those questions cracked me up!!

mastifflover
November 1st, 2004, 05:42 PM
Very funny so you get them too. While I type this from my igloo up here in Canada, which is what we all live in.

moontamara
November 1st, 2004, 08:01 PM
Those are hilarious, but I kind of think the kangaroo one is legitimate!!! Can you see kangaroos in the streets??? I mean, in Banff there used to be elk in town and on the streets -- in Kenora we sometimes have bears in the streets....

lexah
November 1st, 2004, 08:14 PM
Hi Melanie!

I'm actually from Perth, WA however I am living in Montreal Canada on a working visa at the moment. I envy you guys because right now its dark at 4:30pm and apparently there's meant to be snow this coming weekend... eeek!

BTW Moontamara, when I was living with my bf's parents while saving for the trip there were always kangaroos on or by the side of the road

:crazy:

Shelby
November 1st, 2004, 08:25 PM
You don't often see them hopping down the streets, although in Canberra, there were so many of them (they had to cull a couple of hundred :( ) you would see large groups of them on sports ovals and golf courses around dusk.

BamaRama
November 1st, 2004, 10:59 PM
There were always a few big Red Kangaroo's in the brush by the path that I walked to school on. Then again when I was crossing the oval to get to my school (Mawson Primary, for Shelby's benefit) there were sometimes a few Kangaroos...as well, the oval is where I usually got attacked by magpies.

Ahh i miss Canberra! :)

melanie
November 1st, 2004, 10:59 PM
poor roos, humans jsut suck, theycreate the conditions for population boom and then kill the poor creatures when the pops become big, bloody stupid, but of course humans have guns and that makes them top of the food chain.

lexah, today is melbourne cup day, they race in a few minutes, nice soft wet track, raining though and a strong wind so it will be a tough race, but the best will shine..oh i love the GG's. not many aussie horses in this one, bit of a bummer, but the waterhouses are in there so i will back what ever they put out, great horse trainers that lot. (great crims too, poor robby waterhouse, he is way too dumb to be in this game)

common makive diva (sp) (good horse in the wet, lieks a nice soft track so that will help) run baby run, mumma needs a new pair of shoes :D :D :D

melanie
November 1st, 2004, 11:21 PM
wooooooooohooooooooo, go aussie go ausse go, yeah i picked the winner, makyby diva just took out the cup, aussie horse, lee freedmans 4th win at the cup, brilliant. I KNEW AN AUSSIE HORSE WOULD TAKE IT, YEAH. (poor dog didnt knowwhat the screaming was about) now of to the TAB to collect and then the pub. sorry but just have to say (scream)


'AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE, OI OI OI'

Shelby
November 2nd, 2004, 12:29 AM
Mel, I thought Mykybe Diva was Irish?? But I did notice that her jokey was australian so I am probably wrong..

BamaRama, people and dogs were getting attacked by the Kangaroos earlier in the year. There was a story of these 2 ladies who used to walk their 3 old retrievers around Dunlop. The dogs were playing in the dam when a kangaroo approached them, one of the dogs started barking at the kangaroo and it hopped down into the water and grabbed the dog's legs and held it under the water until it drowned!
I've heard of roos leading dogs to water and doing this when they are being chased, but these dog's weren't chasing it, one of them was barking at it!

I'm scared of them now, if I see kangaroos when I am walking the dogs I always go the other way.

melanie
November 2nd, 2004, 02:52 AM
nah she is an aussie horse, but i only know who her jockey and trainer are, she may be owned by the irish, but there only two irish horses were said to be in there. but she won last years cup also. oh should not be typing after the pub, ohhhhh sooooo hard to type and sorry to you for the speling.

roos can be really scary, earlier this year charlie and i ran into two big red males ont the way to park (live in very rural town), and they did not like us at all, they were fighting when we came upon them and they hissed at us, so we snuck past them, but they never came after us which i thought they would becasue fo the dog. i find most of the time it is dogs after roos, they chase roos, there is actually a syndrom (been drinkin, name evades me) that is cause by dogs chasing roos, they will actually run themselves to death after dog chases, it is horrid to watch, and if they are trapped by fence, they kill themselves through on that fence stress. i once watched a man give mouth to mouth to a roo after his dogs chased it into a dam and drowned it. lots of roos drowning in pools here, dogs chasing thwem in when the poor things are looking for water, one roo had a nasty chest infection after spending over 24hrs on the pool cause the dogs would not let it out, here we have big packs of strays taking out the local and rare wallabies, it is becoming a huge problem for the roos, drought brings them in, in normal conditions it would not be so bad... i could give over 100 exampes of such incedents.

i used to be an outdoor tour guide and ran tours out into the sturt desert. i once got really angry at my work partner, and got of the bus and wlaked behind a ridge, i walked straight into a red roo fight, my god i was terrified, those buggers were killing each other and i was in the middle, i manage d to get out of it but i was lucky and never went of alone again, oh the desert, you must see.

funny though, when i did vet nursing for natives (i am only qualified to treat natives, dont know the temp of a chid but i can tell you an echidnas should be 38, i always find that strange i dont know much about humans) anyway back to the story, i was with a mate at a native animal rehab area in tamworth, its ontop of the only real hill in the main part of town, anyways, we were standing there being the know it alls, 'oh look at that grey, nice looker and all that' all of a sudden that grey jumped up and came after us, boy did we crap ourselves and i have never seen so many 'so called experts' run in fear, the funniest thing i ever saw.

i love the roos, such amaxing creatures, do you know in a good season a roo cna have three joeys on the go at different ages, and during drought their bodies stop allowing them to produce, what amazing creatures. funny they are a national symbol but treated as pests, us aussies are so strange at times. i love roos they are great,. the only prob beign that when roo kulls happen they often target the big red males, and they are seriously limiting the genetic diversity of them, i have heard many say they will wipe them out within 20yrs, no big reds, something i wont contemplate too sad.

bloody magpies, poor charlie, i often think they have circulated her picture and that is why they target her. and im sorry, but there is no way i will wear an icecream container with eyes painted on it to the park, i would rather be pecked than daggy. :angel: :D my mother used to make us \wear them going to swchool , ahhh how embarassing :D :D