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Is it wrong to feel this way?

heeler's rock!
October 27th, 2004, 07:15 PM
A girl I used to work with e-mailed me the other day. We were pretty close friends at work, but she had a short temper. I remember a big falling out we had because she was making fun of me with my co-workers (they were all VERY immature) and I didn't like it, so she got mad at me. We didn't talk for weeks, but then we made our peace and were back to normal.

Anyways, she got hired on last Nov. by a REALLY big Oil and Gas company and got a huge raise. Well, when she left we were still friends and she was gonna come to my wedding. A few weeks before the "big day", we got into another fight because I mentioned her name in an e-mail "fight" with a co-worker taht was trying to get me fired. She said some really nasty things to me, including that I was more of a nuisance than a friend, and that my husband was the only man in the world that could stand to be with me. I was crushed. She again made peace with me, but refused to come to my wedding.

Anyways, she e-mailed me to see how I'm doing and so on just a week ago. She also told me that she's making a lot of money and her boyfriend is now making more than her. They bought a nice big house, they're going to Vegas, so on and so on. I am sooooo mad!! :mad:

Part of me thinks that she doesn't deserve such good fortune after being such a cow! I am really jealous, and I think I'm going nuts! I know I shouldn't be jealous, and Carlos reminds me that we are so much more fortunate than a lot of people out there. But all I can think about is how we're struggling, and it's all her fault for pushing me to quit my job! I couldn't take her and my co-workers making fun of me and trying to get me fired. Long story......but is this wrong of me? Should I feel so crappy???? :confused: :(

lilith_rizel
October 27th, 2004, 07:23 PM
I think that she may just be trying to get on your nerves. Money isn't everything, infact, it IS the root of all evil. My hubby and I only make $1200 a month, and 75% goes to bills. We hardly have the money to go out, at all. We see a movie, maybe once a month, and dine out every two months. But all in all, we couldn't be happier. I mean, we spend more money on Cano, each month, than we do on ourselves in 2 months. But we don't care. We would rather be dirt poor, and be happy, than be filthy rich, and unhappy.

melanie
October 27th, 2004, 07:29 PM
some friend, what a cow she is no friend of yours. i understand your feelings, but if i were you i would cease all contact and take back the wedding invite, make it very clear you dont want her there, what an insult, to say such a thing about you, your a better person than me, i would have probably smacked her in the mouth for that comment :D :crazy: .

i was recently fired because a girl who did not like me was sleeping with the boss who was paying us illeagly, she said to him get rid of her or she would dob him into the workcover ppl, so i got the shaft. i jsut wanted to kill her for it, still do but am trying to control it, we are now like you a bit harder off because of her, and her alone for getting me fired and i never did anything, jsut existed,m she just hated me because i am happy i think, oh it makes me furious, but all i can do is put it out of my mind or i will do something bad and that is what i am avoiding, i tell you i know it is hard but try and rid your mind of it, andi t is negative and will bring you down.

some ppl are not our friends, they are leeches, they feed of your bad feelings, draw your energy and spend time trying to make you feel bad just so they can feel the bigger person. sometimes that saying 'if you lie down with dogs you wake up with fleas ' is so true, she is one big flea and you dont want her suckin on ya. if you remove her from your life you will feel better, and you will stop her nastiness, you dont really need that or have energy for that crap. :( :(

heeler's rock!
October 27th, 2004, 10:05 PM
Thanks Lilith and Melanie. I know I shouldn't even care, but it just erks me ya know? I know how you feel Lilith. because of this girl and my other piece of crap co-workers, I felt forced to quit my job. My bosses didn't even care. Since then we've been struggling to make ends meet. We also spend a lot of money on our pets, but they're worth it. I would sooner feed them and sacrafice something for me, because I love them so much.

I keep hoping she gets fired or laid off!! Then we'll see about her big fancy house!!! HAHAHAHA!!! No, that's not really funny. :o I just don't feel like associating with her anymore. She said in her e-mail to me that she misses talking to me. All she misses is putting me down and making me feel inadequate....I'm not gonna e-mail her anymore. She doesn't even e-mail me that often anyways. I don't consider her a friend, she's more like an aquaintance.....I too am happy with the way things are and wouldn't change them for all the money in the world....

Karin
October 27th, 2004, 10:25 PM
Be the better person. Go on with your life.


Do not let this stay in your closet....it has a way of working itself back out and it will haunt you.

You are the better person....deal with it, and be rid of it.




We all know the "what goes around, comes around " rule.

Sad but true.

Joelle
October 27th, 2004, 11:48 PM
Heeler's Rock,

This girl obviously has self-esteem and other probably more serious mental issues. First off, who wants a friend that'll backstab you to co-workers, obviously NOT a great friend....She sounds more like a :evil: then anything else. TRUST ME, Heeler's Rock, I've had friends like this b4 they are a sad, sad race of awful people that take pleasure in seeing other people fail. These are the kind of people that smile at you while they whisper the nastiest things behind your back. The faster you get rid of her the better!!! I've been in fights with friends b4 but real friends don't say the nasty stuff you told us. She's emailing you to get on her high horse and tell you how great her life is, you know why she does it? because she's really not all that happy with her new guy and her new job...If she was, she wouldn't be consumed in showing it off to everybody...Atleast take a little comfort in that! :p I'm sure I'm right about that one!!!!

Good Luck!

Joelle

glasslass
October 28th, 2004, 01:17 PM
Ditto! Ditto! Ditto! First off, she's just contacting you because she obviously doesn't have anyone else in her life to feed off of. She misses talking to you because she's probably just burnt one of her new co-workers and is finding herself without any friends. That's what happens to people like this - lonely because their selfish malicious personality pushes everyone away. Not worth your time; she can only drag you down to build herself up. Most likely, she will eventually cause her own downfall with her co-workers and bosses and will end up dumped by her boyfriend as well. The fact that her email was full of bragging sounds obvious and pretty pathetic to me. Your wedding was probably what made her so vindictive - jealousy!

CyberKitten
October 28th, 2004, 01:20 PM
Ditto to the last two posts. She is no friend and you are better off without her. It's normal to be angry though. Ignoring her is the best revenge and much better for your soul!!

Copper'sMom
October 28th, 2004, 02:37 PM
I agree with all of the above. You definitely don't need a "friend" like that. She sounds like nothing but trouble. She's trying to rub your nose in the dirt! A "friend" doesn't try to get you fired!!!!

Is she the type to tell white lies? Maybe she is exaggerating. Is her "riches" really what SHE earned or what her BOYFRIEND earned? It's nice to be wealthy, but money doesn't buy happiness. Eventually, she'll find that out when she loses all of her friends.

If you let her know how you feel, is she the type that would get satisfaction from hurting you? If so, don't give her the satisfaction. I would block her from sending any more emails and cut the cords to this "friendship."

Don't let her get to you so bad. She's obviously not worth it!!!

BamaRama
October 28th, 2004, 04:31 PM
I agree! She's not a friend! Cut the ties.

heeler's rock!
October 28th, 2004, 04:57 PM
Thanks so much everyone. I really don't know what her purpose for e-mailing me was. I am the type of person that gets easily duped into forgiving people. I'd like to think that she is genuinely concerned about how I am doing and so on, but it's hard after being burned so bad in the past by her. I don't want to tell her how I feel because she might just get mad again and I don't need that. I think I'll just blow her off. Maybe reply, but say I'm too busy to talk much right now. You know, just to make her feel useless! :)

Karin
October 28th, 2004, 05:11 PM
I still think ignoring her is in your best interest. You have to weigh what gain you are to get from any contact. What will help you to get past this?

Will you benefit from any contact? If so, do it.

If not, bury it....and go on.

My .02 cents.

glasslass
October 28th, 2004, 07:07 PM
Don't respond and let her just keep wondering :thumbs up if you ever got it.