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Cat & Dog haikus' (really silly!)

Akeeter
October 14th, 2004, 06:01 PM
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Cat Haiku----
The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
----
So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
----
There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.
----
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
----
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
----
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
----
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.
----
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
----
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
----
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
----
The rule for today;
Touch my tail
I claw your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
----
My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
----
Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
----
I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
----
So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."
----
Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.


Dog Haiku

I love my master,
Thus I perfume myself with
This long rotten squirrel.
----
I hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
----
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.
----
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot, no greater bliss - well
Maybe chasing cats.
----
Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds, I celebrate
By kissing your face.
----
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
----
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy, come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
----
The cat is not all
Bad, she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.
----
I sound the alarm!
Mailman, come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
----
Dig under fence, Why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
----
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello Spot,
Sniff this and weep.
----
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
----
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
----
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
----
My people's mood is
Romantic, I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.
********************

:love: Ya' got love em!

Bugsy
October 14th, 2004, 06:40 PM
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
----
The cat is not all
Bad, she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

LMAO... :D

Cinnabear
October 15th, 2004, 01:03 PM
Pretty funny and so true. :D ;)