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some advive please

jackieb
October 14th, 2004, 04:10 PM
This afternoon i let the boys ( my children) play out for 5 minutes in the back yard now i never leave them on ther own just poped in to prepare tea and about 2 mins later noticed the gate was open so i looked out in the garden franticaly for my baby he is 14 monthscouldnt see him looked outside stiull no sign then i asked a young lad and his mum had picked him up and too9k him to a neighbours. I went over appologised in a upset state and said the boys had undone the gate i thought then went home in shock. As i entered the garden the lady was talking to another lady who had stoped and they were saying it was a good job she stopped and shacking there heads saying i was lucy and irresponsible. I know a women at the toddler group i attend twins escaped from that toddler group and they had a massive investigation it was local front page news. So i am now worried someone will contact social services!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

sammiec
October 14th, 2004, 04:14 PM
I don't think you should have anything to worry about. It was an accident...your child was not out more than a couple minutes. I would get a lock for the gate. I am so glad that your child is okay, that must be frightening!

A child missing from a toddler group is a little different since that is a business and they have to take that route if something like that happens.

jackieb
October 14th, 2004, 04:15 PM
i will be buying a lock this evening and will not be lettiong them out unwatched even fir a minute thanks

chico2
October 14th, 2004, 04:45 PM
Jackie,I am sorry to hear you had a bad experience,at least the kiddies are ok.The ladies were wrong,I am sure you are not irresponsible :love: don't worry,I doubt social services would even bother.
A lock on your gate is a must though,cheer up :D

melanie
October 14th, 2004, 06:37 PM
if social services ever showed up just point out they are kids and will do as kids do, not everything is avoidable.

a similar thing happened here last week, my 2yo neice had gone out the back with my 10yr old nephew, well he came inside and i said where is baby, he said out back, i went out, no baby but my nephew had left the gate open when he got his push bike.

i ran through the house and suddenly 'knock knock' at the front door, i open it and here is my little neice smiling proudly. i tell you i near died, she thought she was real funny, but they scared the hell out of me, and im not an irrisponsible person,

it just happens sometimes, but boy did my nephew get a serving for being so silly, he knows better, well at least i thought he did, little buggers, they always come up with something new to make you worry about.

so it happens to the best of us, dont you worry about it, kids are kids. ;)

jackieb
October 15th, 2004, 05:54 AM
I have calmed down now and my hubby is getting a lock for the gatge today as he wors late and i dont drive but thanks guys :)

jackieb
October 15th, 2004, 06:45 AM
My husband is worrying about social services turning up it was a accident i said. Apparantely he says they take the kids off you until they investigate a case i said only in emergency situations shurely

debanneball
October 15th, 2004, 06:54 AM
Jackie, don't worry, I doubt anyone will call social services, after all, they were only on an adventure for minutes, not hours.... No one in their right mind would report you, and as for the two ladies 'talking', just imagine them as the neighbourhood noisy bodies, with nothing else to do but criticize others :eek:.

yvonnem
October 15th, 2004, 08:46 AM
Jackie

Don't worry -- usually what happens when someone phones in a complaint and says that children are in "danger" and it sounds legitimate, social services sends out a worker who comes and knocks on your door and introduces herself and wants to come in and talk to you. While she is talking to you she is looking at your surroundings and you -- are you still in your nightgown at 11:00 in the morning with a cigarette hanging from your lip and the empty beer bottles from the night before scattered about? She will ask to be introduced to the kids and she will be looking for signs of ill-treatment.

Years ago when my daughter was small, I was working in a little restaurant attached to a driving range (golf, doncha know). I was trying to toilet train my daughter at the time and she was using the small staff bathroom that was at the side of the restaurant. Because there were people around and I couldn't watch her every second she was in the bathroom, I used to get my dog Leo, who was part German Shepherd and part St. Bernard to lay in front of the bathroom door. Someone called social services and said that my daughter was being trapped in the bathroom by this nasty dog. Social services came out and when they showed up, Leo was sleeping on the lawn and my daughter was bouncing up and down on his ribs. They just laughed and went away.

Social services are obliged to check every complaint, but unless you get the very rare worker who is so stupid she should have been drowned at birth, you should have no problems. they understand that accidents happen, and you responded appropriately -- you went looking for the child and you fixed the gate so it wouldn't happen again.

The situation has to be serious before they take children away -- they don't have a lot of emergency foster homes so unless you have a marihuana grow operation going on in the basement and you're selling porn in your living room, you have nothing to worry about.

jackieb
October 15th, 2004, 08:52 AM
thanks for that it gave me a shock and them once i told my husband he started to panic which then made me!
Im glad they follow up every complaint in England there was a case were a aunty had foster care of her niece abused her several times cases which lead to hospital treatment and they wer on the act risk register still no social worker came round then the aunty abused her and she died through the injurys. It was a awful case that really brought home how bad the situtiaon was lack of funding not enough social workers all excuses and they still havent done much about it.

thanks for the help