September 23rd, 2004, 12:29 AM
There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead. They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good." The guy at the door says, "Come on in." The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the
heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
September 23rd, 2004, 12:31 AM
A duck walks into a grocery store, goes up to the manager and quacks, "HEY! Got any duck food?"
The manager frowns at the duck and replies, "No, we don't have any duck food. We sell people food here. Now go away!"
The next day the duck returns to the grocery store and quacks, "HEY! Got any duck food?"
The manager is really annoyed now. He says, "No, we don't have any duck food! I told you, we sell people food here! This is a grocery store! If you come in here one more time, I'm going to nail your flippers to the floor!"
The third day, the duck goes into the store again. He goes up to the manager and asks, "Hey! Got any nails?"
The manager says, "No. Why?" "Got any duck food?"
September 23rd, 2004, 12:34 AM
A magician worked on a cruise ship. Since the audience was different each week, he did the same tricks over and over again. One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once the parrot understood, she started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat! Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one day the ship sank. After swimming for a few hours, the magician found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared malevolently at each other but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another, and then another.
Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could restrain itself no longer: "OK," she said, "I give up. What'd you do with the ship?"
September 23rd, 2004, 12:43 AM
A group of three management guys were given the assignment to find the height of a pole.
They set out with a ladder, rope, measuring tape and all and set to work. They fumbled, fell down and struggled to get it done. An engineer passed by and saw their problem. With a mocking gesture, he pulled out the pole, laid it on the ground, measured it with the tape, gave the reading to them, and walked off. One of the management guys remarked, "Real crazy engineer. We want the height and he gives us the length!!"
September 23rd, 2004, 07:31 AM
Morn' knight!!! Thank's for the"chuckle" :D
September 23rd, 2004, 09:36 AM
September 23rd, 2004, 09:46 AM
Very funny, I like the first one the most. hehehehhehe :D
September 23rd, 2004, 11:53 AM
LOL! Thanks for the giggles, Ironknight:)
September 23rd, 2004, 01:04 PM
Loved them all!!! :D
September 25th, 2004, 12:43 PM
Lmao ! :D :D :D
August 14th, 2008, 10:55 PM
the first one DID it !!! :thumbs up :goodvibes: :thankyou:
p.s. this is my first post/reply... i should introduce myself very soon :crazy: & :pawprint:
August 15th, 2008, 09:27 AM
Very funny, a good way to start the day. Thanks
August 15th, 2008, 09:30 AM
Guys - these posts are from 2004. Don't know if Iron Knight is even still around. :shrug:
August 15th, 2008, 08:40 PM
thanks for bringing the date to my attention... i guess that my retriever's nose was good enough to find this joke underneath 4 years of accumulated dust and pet hair... :crazy: & :pawprint:
August 15th, 2008, 09:13 PM
That's quite alright! I've done the same thing!! It's easy enough to do. That's a pretty great nose on that retriever!! :D
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