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Need advice! There's a Yorkie in my life again.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 01:14 PM
Hey guys, I need some major advice.

I think some of you might be aware my dad's wife is a total a-hole. I dislike her imensley and one of the reasons is she's been breeding Yorkies off and on for a while. She's finally stopped only because her sister is in need of 24-hour care and moving in with my dad and her. So, she said she's not going to have enough time to take care of so many dogs. She was going to give this cutie to another woman, but this woman is going to use to to breed. :censored:

I've been trying for the last 2 weeks to get them to agree to let me have her. My dad did not and does not want me to have her because he lives his life freaked out about the fact I have 5 cats.

I know, it's not going to be easy. I need to have her examined, then I need to get her a tag, and I also need to have her spayed, something I have to do within a month of getting the tag according to the law here. I'm hoping I can talk to the vet and see if they can give me a break on the spay cost.

I have someone who has been looking for a Yorkie for his daughter for a while and he's willing to take her if she's what his daughter wants. But in the back of my mind, I'd really like to keep her. The biggest hurdle I have is the gang.

Basically, they were there first, and I am afraid of upsetting their current environment. Vlad doesn't much like newcomers, and Oksana is already dealing with anxiety issues which I medicate her for. So I don't know what to do.

I was thinking to take her to the vet before actually bringing her home on Friday and having her checked out, just to make sure she's healthy, which I'm sure she is. But I want to make sure she doesn't have anything like fleas that she can spread to the gag.

How do I make it easier for everyone? I'm planning on getting her a crate, so she can have that space to be safely out of reach of kitty claws. I know I can't leave her outside the crate unless I'm supervising, so no worries there.

Should I keep her totally separated though? I can put her in my upstairs bathroom during the day while I'm at work and just move the gangs litterbox outside to my bedroom. That way she'll have some space.

I'm confused. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing here.

BenMax
February 2nd, 2011, 01:33 PM
First and foremost get her away from these people.
Once you have her, she is yours. You many keep her, find a good home for her, or find a rescue to take.

Anything...ANYTHING is better than having her continue to breed with uneducated, unreliable people who profess to be breeders.

I would get her to your place and keep her safe and secure in a room (with a crate) for a few days. Let the cats smell her but not see her. She in turn will do the same. Make interactions very minimal in the beginning and it can increase in time.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 01:47 PM
She'll be with me by Friday. I have to talk to my boss, but I'm going to ask him for the day off, since I have some other things to do, I can use that day to pick her up and take her to the vet before I bring her home. My dad's wife is a monster. I swear that woman has dollar signs in her eyes, but karma is a bitch. And she's slowly being "rewarded" for how she's conducted herself.

I'm going to Petsmart to look for a crate for her. Something roomy but enclosed. I want her to feel safe. I can keep her in there once I bring her home. I figured I can put her in the bathroom with food and water and the crate. That way, she can go in and out of the crate as she please, and she'll have room to play.

BMDLuver
February 2nd, 2011, 01:55 PM
She'll be with me by Friday. I have to talk to my boss, but I'm going to ask him for the day off, since I have some other things to do, I can use that day to pick her up and take her to the vet before I bring her home. My dad's wife is a monster. I swear that woman has dollar signs in her eyes, but karma is a bitch. And she's slowly being "rewarded" for how she's conducted herself.

I'm going to Petsmart to look for a crate for her. Something roomy but enclosed. I want her to feel safe. I can keep her in there once I bring her home. I figured I can put her in the bathroom with food and water and the crate. That way, she can go in and out of the crate as she please, and she'll have room to play.

you could also just get a baby gate for the bathroom door. I normally use that for my little ones as they have been in a mill (mine have) and that way I keep them safe but don't stick them back in a cage again.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 01:59 PM
you could also just get a baby gate for the bathroom door. I normally use that for my little ones as they have been in a mill (mine have) and that way I keep them safe but don't stick them back in a cage again.

That would be perfect, if it weren't that the cats can jump over quite easily.

If I had a way to close off the window that looks out of the kitchen into the living room I'd just keep her in the kitchen. But I don't have any way of blocking that right now. I'll have to look around and see what I can do.

In the meantime, I think the bathroom is the best bet. It has a small window, but it lets in a lot of light during the day. There's an air vent in there so she'll be kept cool all day.

BenMax
February 2nd, 2011, 02:06 PM
That would be perfect, if it weren't that the cats can jump over quite easily.

If I had a way to close off the window that looks out of the kitchen into the living room I'd just keep her in the kitchen. But I don't have any way of blocking that right now. I'll have to look around and see what I can do.

In the meantime, I think the bathroom is the best bet. It has a small window, but it lets in a lot of light during the day. There's an air vent in there so she'll be kept cool all day.

Actually the baby gate is a better idea. The cats and dogs will see each other and smell through the gate. I hardly think that the cats will jump in to meet and greet her. I think this may be a better option.

Tell me, was she normally crated in her monster home?

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 02:10 PM
Actually the baby gate is a better idea. The cats and dogs will see each other and smell through the gate. I hardly think that the cats will jump in to meet and greet her. I think this may be a better option.

Tell me, was she normally crated in her monster home?

I may be able to get one of those door gates then. I think that would be easier for me to put up and take down. I'll see where I can find them at a good price.

Right now, she's in the laundry room. She's got a little space with a crate with bedding, and puppy pads. I'd say she'll have double the space in my bathroom.

BenMax
February 2nd, 2011, 02:14 PM
I may be able to get one of those door gates then. I think that would be easier for me to put up and take down. I'll see where I can find them at a good price.

Right now, she's in the laundry room. She's got a little space with a crate with bedding, and puppy pads. I'd say she'll have double the space in my bathroom.

She'll be fine AncientGirl. She will appreciate the love and tranquility I am certain.

BMDLuver
February 2nd, 2011, 02:23 PM
I have a cat who is not always nice with new arrivals and honestly, she has never even considered entering the room with the new arrival. She will walk over and have a look but not go over it. Cats don't normally want to expose their bellies like that by jumping over and landing into what could be danger

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 02:25 PM
She'll be fine AncientGirl. She will appreciate the love and tranquility I am certain.

I just saw I may be able to get a gate at Target for less than $10. That would be perfect, I can buy 2 or 3 and just put one on top of the other. They're easy to put on too:

Baby gate (http://www.target.com/First-Years-Secure-Pressure-Gate/dp/B001P4451U/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&keywords=baby%20gates&fromGsearch=true&sr=1-3&qid=1296674475&rh=&searchRank=price&id=First%20Years%20Secure%20Pressure%20Gate&node=1038576|1287991011&searchSize=30&searchPage=1&searchNodeID=1038576|1287991011&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_ primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&frombrowse=0)

Right now, she's just starved for attention. I think she'll appreciate having someone actually talk to her instead of at her.

Okay, so tonight I go look for the gates, tomorrow I'll go look for a crate and food. I'm thinking Orijen or Arcana.

I've made her appointment for the vet, so she'll get an exam, maybe a bath and I'll have to see if they do grooming too, she could use a cut. Then when I get her home, pictures. I've also got to inquire about training classes or see if I can get some books or videos so I can teach her some basics.

Lots to do and think about.

BenMax
February 2nd, 2011, 02:26 PM
I have a cat who is not always nice with new arrivals and honestly, she has never even considered entering the room with the new arrival. She will walk over and have a look but not go over it. Cats don't normally want to expose their bellies like that by jumping over and landing into what could be danger

I have to agree. I have a narly siamese that wants to eat all new arrivals..yet he has never gone out of his way to be in the same vacinity.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 02:28 PM
I have a cat who is not always nice with new arrivals and honestly, she has never even considered entering the room with the new arrival. She will walk over and have a look but not go over it. Cats don't normally want to expose their bellies like that by jumping over and landing into what could be danger

I'm just being my usual worry wart. I want them all to be happy, and I don't want the cats to be upset, even though I know they'll be pretty bothered for a while.

BMDLuver
February 2nd, 2011, 02:30 PM
good style of gate as she can't squeeze through anything!

rainbow
February 2nd, 2011, 02:39 PM
Congrats AG :highfive: and thanks for rescuing this poor girl from the crappy life she had. :angel:

Just wanted to mention about the food. Orijen or Acana is a great choice but if she is being fed a cheaper quality brand right now, please do the switch gradually so her body has time to adjust.

Good luck and looking forward to some pics. :goodvibes:

BenMax
February 2nd, 2011, 02:43 PM
Try contacting a shelter. Sometimes they have 2nd hand items for sale that they cannot use. If this does not work, contact a rescue group and see if they can help you.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 02:46 PM
Congrats AG :highfive: and thanks for rescuing this poor girl from the crappy life she had. :angel:

Just wanted to mention about the food. Orijen or Acana is a great choice but if she is being fed a cheaper quality brand right now, please do the switch gradually so her body has time to adjust.

Good luck and looking forward to some pics. :goodvibes:

She doesn't eat really good quality food. As a matter of fact, I was told this morning when I spoke with the monster that "she's too fat, I've got her on a diet, she gets food every other day." I didn't say anything and had to keep myself from saying something incredibly nasty, after all she is still unfortunately my dad's wife. She also sometimes gets hot dogs or chicken for food. :frustrated:

BMDLuver
February 2nd, 2011, 02:51 PM
She doesn't eat really good quality food. As a matter of fact, I was told this morning when I spoke with the monster that "she's too fat, I've got her on a diet, she gets food every other day." I didn't say anything and had to keep myself from saying something incredibly nasty, after all she is still unfortunately my dad's wife. She also sometimes gets hot dogs or chicken for food. :frustrated:

I hope she is not fat for other reasons and I mean health reasons.... was she bred a lot?

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 02:59 PM
That's why I'm taking her to the vet. I want to make sure she's okay. She's actually only been bred once. She was finished nursing her litter about 2 weeks ago. I'm no dog expert, but this is likely why she's a little plump. And if she's being fed every other day, it's no surprise she eats like crazy when she does get food.

A regular routine with good food should take a few pounds off.

BMDLuver
February 2nd, 2011, 03:15 PM
I'm afraid to ask but where did the pups end up? At least bred once, it most likely would not be pyometria which was what I was concerned about.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 03:21 PM
She sold two of them to her dentist (who I happen to know and is a very nice man) and the other went to a couple who are empty nesters. But my fear for momma was the monster would give her to someone who would continue using her to breed. And the monster's friend who she was originally giving her to, was going to use her for that. And from what I was told, momma had a very difficult birth. I guess what little bit of conscience she has kicked in and she decided not to give her to the friend. That's when she called me this morning and asked me if I wanted her.

rainbow
February 2nd, 2011, 03:26 PM
She doesn't eat really good quality food. As a matter of fact, I was told this morning when I spoke with the monster that "she's too fat, I've got her on a diet, she gets food every other day." I didn't say anything and had to keep myself from saying something incredibly nasty, after all she is still unfortunately my dad's wife. She also sometimes gets hot dogs or chicken for food. :frustrated:

Feeding her every other day is totally assinine. :wall: The chicken and hot dogs occassionally are okay as long as it's not the sole source of food. I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut too. :o


That's why I'm taking her to the vet. I want to make sure she's okay. She's actually only been bred once. She was finished nursing her litter about 2 weeks ago. I'm no dog expert, but this is likely why she's a little plump. And if she's being fed every other day, it's no surprise she eats like crazy when she does get food.

A regular routine with good food should take a few pounds off.

Glad she's only been bred once. :thumbs up Good quality food and exercise is what she needs. :goodvibes:

rainbow
February 2nd, 2011, 03:28 PM
She sold two of them to her dentist (who I happen to know and is a very nice man) and the other went to a couple who are empty nesters. But my fear for momma was the monster would give her to someone who would continue using her to breed. And the monster's friend who she was originally giving her to, was going to use her for that. And from what I was told, momma had a very difficult birth. I guess what little bit of conscience she has kicked in and she decided not to give her to the friend. That's when she called me this morning and asked me if I wanted her.

Glad to hear that and even if you can't keep her, we know that you will find her a good home. :thumbs up

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 03:34 PM
Yeah, I might even start walking with her in the evenings. Or there's a dog part near where I live so I can check that out. I'll be putting Revolution on her, because she'll likely be going outside more than the cats, and I don't want any fleas. :D

She has no training, at all. But she's a sweetheart. Hopefully, she'll pick up on stuff quickly.

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 03:36 PM
Glad to hear that and even if you can't keep her, we know that you will find her a good home. :thumbs up

I certainly will. If the gang learn to tolerate her and are fine, then she stays. If I see they just aren't okay with it, I'll find her a good home. I do know someone who has said he wants a small dog for his daughter, but he lives in Michigan, and I'm in Florida. He went to school with my brother so I know he's a good guy. Still, that's so far away to send her.

14+kitties
February 2nd, 2011, 06:48 PM
:grouphug: AG! You rock!! Cha-ching!! Cha-ching!! Cha-ching!! There goes that tax refund. ;) With time and patience I am sure this little one will fit in with your gang of merry misfits. Oh wait, that's my gang!! Your gang - it's going to be interesting to watch how they react to a dog in their midst. Being small though I bet she will fit in fine. :thumbs up

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 07:16 PM
:grouphug: AG! You rock!! Cha-ching!! Cha-ching!! Cha-ching!! There goes that tax refund. ;) With time and patience I am sure this little one will fit in with your gang of merry misfits. Oh wait, that's my gang!! Your gang - it's going to be interesting to watch how they react to a dog in their midst. Being small though I bet she will fit in fine. :thumbs up

I hope you're right. I'm all wierded out right now. My dad's wife called me this morning to tell me about the dog. We had it all squared away, and she told me my dad would bring her to me Saturday. I had decided later to try and take Friday off so I could just pick her up and take her to the vet.

Then my dad called me in the afternoon, and he didn't say anything about the dog. As far as Saturday, he just said he was going to come by so we could have breakfast before picking up the couch I bought.

So now I'm wondering what the heck is going on.

This has been a nightmare trying to get them to give me this dog. I've had several arguments with my dad this week and thought everything was fine. I'm wondering if maybe my dad thinks he's going to surprise me or something.

I just hope I haven't built myself all up just to be disappointed. I really want this sweetie here and away from that woman.

rainbow
February 2nd, 2011, 07:59 PM
I hope she keeps her agrrement and lets you have her. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

ancientgirl
February 2nd, 2011, 08:09 PM
I hope she keeps her agrrement and lets you have her. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

Short of getting on my hands and knees, I've begged them to give her to me and not just dump her with someone who will take advantage of her. I've strained my relationship with my father to the point where I thought he'd never speak to me again. Thankfully, my aunt stepped in and smoothed things over.

If he doesn't bring her to me on Saturday, I'll be devastated.

ancientgirl
February 4th, 2011, 12:05 PM
This will be short, as I can't handle talking about this right now.

I'm not getting the Yorkie. My dad just called me and his wife changed her mind. I don't know where she's going and I can't handle knowing right now.

I've never hated anyone so much in my life than I hate this women.

I don't know what else to do right now. I just want to crawl into a hole and scream and cry and not see the world for days.

Love4himies
February 4th, 2011, 12:14 PM
Oh no, AG :( :grouphug:

14+kitties
February 4th, 2011, 12:25 PM
:grouphug: I am so sorry AG :grouphug: Maybe she will change her mind again but I doubt it. What a Biatch!!

ancientgirl
February 4th, 2011, 12:27 PM
I'm so afraid for that little dog.

14+, I'm still holding out hope, but loosely. I can't take any more disappointment.

14+kitties
February 4th, 2011, 12:29 PM
Do you think if you offered her a bit of cash it would make her change her mind again?

Love4himies
February 4th, 2011, 12:32 PM
AG, don't they have a sweet little white puppy?

krdahmer
February 4th, 2011, 12:33 PM
I'm thinking that may do the trick 14...as it seems to be this 'woman' s main motivation! :wall: I'm so sorry she's causing you all this stress AG...I :pray: she smartens up quick and does the right thing for this poor girl!

BenMax
February 4th, 2011, 12:48 PM
I would tell her that you are forwarding all expenses to her. Tell her you bought specialty food, bought baby gates and crate, cloths, toys, bowls, brushes and anything else you can think of.
Even if you did not, you tell her that you are now out of pocket. As she is motivated by $$$ maybe she will either #1 - offer to re-imburse or #2 - give you the dog.

What a flipping Bag of Crapola she is. Karma (where is my doll full of pins icon?):frustrated:

rainbow
February 4th, 2011, 01:30 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that she changed her mind. :( :wall:

I think both 14+ or BM's suggestions are worth a try :thumbs up .......Good Luck :fingerscr :goodvibes:

ancientgirl
February 4th, 2011, 01:52 PM
I'm not offering her money. If she were anyone else, I would. My father already told me she's not giving her to me, and that was his last word. I cannot continue to strain my relationship with my father over this, and if I offered her money my father would never speak with me again. I spent a week with him not even taking my calls. He's sick and tired of this entire situation and his wife, but this for him is the end of it.

If it were anyone else I'd give her everything I have left from my tax refund, which is about $700.

L4H, she does have two other dogs. One is a little over 10 years old and she's told me on several occasions she can't wait for him to die to just be rid of him, and she's also got little Coconut. Thankfully at least one dog in that household is safe for now, since she's absolutely gaga over her...for now.

My father is helping me pick up a couch tomorrow, and once we are alone I'll see how the conversation goes and if there is a way I can make some sort of a move on this.

If anything, I'm going to do my damdest to make him aware that when the day comes, and it will come, I'm prepared to fight for Coconut as well.

Life is hard, and karma is certainly not kind to those ill deserving. Frankenbitch is now stuck with her sister who's an equally horrible person. She's moving in and she needs 24 hour care. Frankenbitch is also sick, she's 76 and can't live forever (thank the lord). I'm watching and waiting. I may lose the fight for the Yorkie, who I had already named Anushka in my mind. But I'm not going down so easy for Coconut. That point I will make to my father!

chico2
February 4th, 2011, 05:31 PM
Awww A-G:grouphug:what a terrible situation to be in,you must be in absolute turmoil:grouphug:

I cannot think of anything,other than charge her with cruelty for feeding the poor little one only every 2 days,but that's not going to go over well with your dad.
Does he not see what this woman is doing??
Your dad already has a little dog himself,right??
Would he do that to his dog??

Try to talk seriously to your dad when you go to pick up the couch,tell him this situation is breaking your heart and you cannot sleep nights for thinking what could happen to her,if sold/given to a miller or BYB:(
You are his daughter and I hope he will be able to get you little Anushka:fingerscr:goodvibes::pray:

ancientgirl
February 4th, 2011, 06:30 PM
Awww A-G:grouphug:what a terrible situation to be in,you must be in absolute turmoil:grouphug:

I cannot think of anything,other than charge her with cruelty for feeding the poor little one only every 2 days,but that's not going to go over well with your dad.
Does he not see what this woman is doing??
Your dad already has a little dog himself,right??
Would he do that to his dog??

Try to talk seriously to your dad when you go to pick up the couch,tell him this situation is breaking your heart and you cannot sleep nights for thinking what could happen to her,if sold/given to a miller or BYB:(
You are his daughter and I hope he will be able to get you little Anushka:fingerscr:goodvibes::pray:

Chico, I can't do anything more. This has been an issue with my father for the last nearly 20 years. He says he loves me, and everyone tells me he adores me and would die for me, but honestly, he always seems to be taking this woman's side and when it comes to her, I have very little influence. My father already takes her side over many things. He claims he does this to "keep the peace." Funny how keeping the peace always is for her peace and not mine. I can suffer, but she can't.

I'm not going to bring up the subject, all I can do is wait until he brings it up. I have a headache, I have stomach cramps, and I feel itchy all over which is making me nervous. I feel just beaten down and this goes beyond the issue with the dog. The dog is just the exclamation point at the end of the sentence.

ancientgirl
February 5th, 2011, 03:33 PM
My dad came by this morning and helped me with the new couch I bought. He told me that he spoke with Frankenbitch, and they aren't giving the Yorkie to anyone. She's staying with them. Ideally, I wish I could have her with me, but at the very least, I know where she will be, and since I go to my dads house most Saturdays, I can see her and make sure she's okay.

I'm still going to push when I can, but for now I know she's not going to be used anymore for breeding.

I want to thank all of you for letting me vent. Yesterday was one of the worst days for me in a very long time. You all helped me through it.

Winston
February 5th, 2011, 03:37 PM
AG thats good news! at least she is within your sight so to speak! if she was given to anyone else you would never know! at least this way you can see how things are! :thumbs up

ancientgirl
February 5th, 2011, 03:50 PM
AG thats good news! at least she is within your sight so to speak! if she was given to anyone else you would never know! at least this way you can see how things are! :thumbs up

Winston, I thought the same. If they gave her to anyone else, I'd never see her again, this way is better at least.

rainbow
February 5th, 2011, 07:11 PM
That is good news :thumbs up ....perhaps after looking after her sister for awhile she will change her mind again and let you have her. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

ancientgirl
February 5th, 2011, 07:20 PM
That is good news :thumbs up ....perhaps after looking after her sister for awhile she will change her mind again and let you have her. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

I'm keeping my eyes and ears open. I'll be over there next Saturday so I'll be able to see her and the others. I made it clear to my dad that all I wanted was for her to be safe and not badly treated.

rainbow
February 5th, 2011, 07:25 PM
I'm keeping my eyes and ears open. I'll be over there next Saturday so I'll be able to see her and the others. I made it clear to my dad that all I wanted was for her to be safe and not badly treated.

Your patience just may pay off. :fingerscr :grouphug:

ancientgirl
February 5th, 2011, 07:47 PM
Your patience just may pay off. :fingerscr :grouphug:

THAT is exactly what I'm hoping.

catlover2
February 10th, 2011, 01:30 PM
I have a suggestion, tho you might not like it.

Since your father's 76 y.o.wife will be looking after her sick sister, this is a very great responsibility this senior has taken on, and she should be commended for caring enough to do this 24/7. Your relationship with your father and his wife might improve if you offered to do some chores, shopping, adult-sitting, whatever? to make their life easier. Who knows, they may feel enough gratitude that they will give you the Yorkie you want. Even if they don't, I think it would go a long way to improve your relationship with your father. Try it; you might be surprised. A good start would be to call his wife by her real name rather than "Frankenbitch", even tho you're saying it to yourself and us.

ancientgirl
February 10th, 2011, 01:38 PM
I have a suggestion, tho you might not like it.

Since your father's 76 y.o.wife will be looking after her sick sister, this is a very great responsibility this senior has taken on, and she should be commended for caring enough to do this 24/7. Your relationship with your father and his wife might improve if you offered to do some chores, shopping, adult-sitting, whatever? to make their life easier. Who knows, they may feel enough gratitude that they will give you the Yorkie you want. Even if they don't, I think it would go a long way to improve your relationship with your father. Try it; you might be surprised. A good start would be to call his wife by her real name rather than "Frankenbitch", even tho you're saying it to yourself and us.

Thank you for the suggestion, but you hardly know what this woman has done to me in the last 20 years she's been with my father. Beginning with not allowing my father to let me stay there when after a hurricane in Miami I was left with nowhere to live. She then forbade him from allowing me to come to their home for over 15 years. She only speaks to me now and allows me to come over because she needs me, in that my father asks me to make appointments for them online for doctor visits and such.

No, you have no idea, and I will not offer to do anything for this woman. And quite frankly, if she were on fire, I wouldn't even spit on her.

Think what you want of me, but like I said, you have no idea what kind of a person she really is.

BenMax
February 10th, 2011, 01:42 PM
Thank you for the suggestion, but you hardly know what this woman has done to me in the last 20 years she's been with my father. Beginning with not allowing my father to let me stay there when after a hurricane in Miami I was left with nowhere to live. She then forbade him from allowing me to come to their home for over 15 years. She only speaks to me now and allows me to come over because she needs me, in that my father asks me to make appointments for them online for doctor visits and such.

No, you have no idea, and I will not offer to do anything for this woman. And quite frankly, if she were on fire, I wouldn't even spit on her.

Think what you want of me, but like I said, you have no idea what kind of a person she really is.

AncientGirl - we do not know the circumstances so live by what you feel. I am sorry you are in so much pain on so many levels. You must survive the best way that you can and if this is what it is..then more power to you. Take care of you first Girl. :grouphug:

ancientgirl
February 10th, 2011, 01:53 PM
AncientGirl - we do not know the circumstances so live by what you feel. I am sorry you are in so much pain on so many levels. You must survive the best way that you can and if this is what it is..then more power to you. Take care of you first Girl. :grouphug:

BM, that's what I'm trying to do, as best I can.

Love4himies
February 10th, 2011, 02:02 PM
Thank you for the suggestion, but you hardly know what this woman has done to me in the last 20 years she's been with my father. Beginning with not allowing my father to let me stay there when after a hurricane in Miami I was left with nowhere to live. She then forbade him from allowing me to come to their home for over 15 years. She only speaks to me now and allows me to come over because she needs me, in that my father asks me to make appointments for them online for doctor visits and such.

No, you have no idea, and I will not offer to do anything for this woman. And quite frankly, if she were on fire, I wouldn't even spit on her.

Think what you want of me, but like I said, you have no idea what kind of a person she really is.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Just horrible and your father needs to take responsibility for allowing her to control him.

ancientgirl
February 10th, 2011, 02:10 PM
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Just horrible and your father needs to take responsibility for allowing her to control him.

He does, but he's 73 years old, and at this point, I doubt anything is going to happen. He's already been with her this long, and he's from that generation where divorce isn't something they do. He'll be with this woman until one of them dies.

catlover2
February 10th, 2011, 04:30 PM
I'm sorry to hear that about your circumstances after the hurricane, etc., but I do believe people should be given chances to redeem themselves.

chico2
February 10th, 2011, 04:54 PM
Catlover2,sometimes it is just not possible with too much nastiness to forgive ,we are not in AG's shoes.
This lady was not always a senior,she's had 20yrs to accept AG.

BenMax
February 10th, 2011, 06:28 PM
I'm sorry to hear that about your circumstances after the hurricane, etc., but I do believe people should be given chances to redeem themselves.

I appreciate what you are saying but the last bout has proven that she has all her marbles and clearly does not take into consideration all the turmoil that she caused then and clearly not now with making a broken promise.

There are times when people make an apology for their error or ways. When that time comes, then maybe forgiveness can be entertained.

I don't know, call me a softy but I have forgiven those that have hurt me tremendously. I never asked for a thanks but I would expect somesort of recognition. I did not get it in the end and as a result became a doormat once again. Once bitten..twice shy.

AncientGirl..in your own time either forgive or not. As long as you are true to yourself, then in the end, that is what matters.

ancientgirl
February 10th, 2011, 06:56 PM
Catlover, we can agree to disagree. There iare no redeeming features in this woman. Some people are just bad, enough said.

joeysmama
February 10th, 2011, 08:46 PM
Ancient Girl, I've had that kind of relationship with my mother in law for years. It's a hard row to hoe. I know! I won't start talking about it because once I start......:frustrated:

I think that once she gets a taste of how much work it's going to be to care for her sister she might be more willing to let go of the dog. Maybe Catlover is right and she's got a good side, (at least she's willing to care for her sister) but her attitude towards you is not charitable so she'll give you the dog when it's what SHE wants. I hope it's soon though. The poor little thing needs love and attention.

ancientgirl
February 11th, 2011, 08:49 AM
Ancient Girl, I've had that kind of relationship with my mother in law for years. It's a hard row to hoe. I know! I won't start talking about it because once I start......:frustrated:

I think that once she gets a taste of how much work it's going to be to care for her sister she might be more willing to let go of the dog. Maybe Catlover is right and she's got a good side, (at least she's willing to care for her sister) but her attitude towards you is not charitable so she'll give you the dog when it's what SHE wants. I hope it's soon though. The poor little thing needs love and attention.

Some people just aren't good. That's all there is to it. It's not in their nature or personality. I don't know for what reason she's taking care of her sister. Honestly, I've heard her on more than one occasion curse her even being alive. Personally, I think she's trying to rack up karma points, but it's not my business.

What I care about is my father and those little dogs. To me, everything else in that house doesn't matter.

joeysmama
February 11th, 2011, 12:46 PM
Some people just aren't good. That's all there is to it. It's not in their nature or personality.

It's just a shame when it's not someone you can walk away from. We have no relationship with my MIL, she won't even answer the phone or invite my husband in if he goes to her house to see her...she talks to him at the front door and won't open it the entire way. But she sends cards for every occasion. So weird. But then she had the nerve to call me a few months back and say she was going to move in with us because she was thinking about how she hates to do anything around the house and she doesn't cook and she realized that I do all of that so she thought it would be easier for her to just live here.

Uh oh....I said I wouldnt' get started didn't I?

Anyway.....I bet if your step mother thought that having the dog would be a huge burden on you and that you DIDN'T want the dog she would have handed her right over. I know I'm being cynical but she sounds like that type of person.

ancientgirl
February 11th, 2011, 01:10 PM
It's just a shame when it's not someone you can walk away from. We have no relationship with my MIL, she won't even answer the phone or invite my husband in if he goes to her house to see her...she talks to him at the front door and won't open it the entire way. But she sends cards for every occasion. So weird. But then she had the nerve to call me a few months back and say she was going to move in with us because she was thinking about how she hates to do anything around the house and she doesn't cook and she realized that I do all of that so she thought it would be easier for her to just live here.

Uh oh....I said I wouldnt' get started didn't I?

Anyway.....I bet if your step mother thought that having the dog would be a huge burden on you and that you DIDN'T want the dog she would have handed her right over. I know I'm being cynical but she sounds like that type of person.

Wow, your MIL sounds like a hard pill to swallow as well.

I live with the hope that at some point, I'll be able to bring the dogs to be with me. You never know, she just my need me someday to do just that. And in that case, I'd be happy to help.

joeysmama
February 11th, 2011, 01:58 PM
Oh yeah she once had to go to rehab because she sat around so much that her muscles atrophied. An able bodied person who actually disabled herself with laziness. Burns me up. She's got issues and we've tried to get her help but she just flat out refuses.

I hope you get the dogs. They would have a loving home with you and they probably dont get enough attention from her anyway.

BenMax
February 11th, 2011, 02:02 PM
I say drop the bad karma and fill it with good. I know it sounds ridiculous but it works for me all the time. If you feel good, and you are full of light...then you get light back.

I had to fill my head with light this morning let me tell you..and as a result..things are great.

That is why I say to you AncientGirl to look after you first and fill your life up with light. I may sound like a complete nutjob (and I am :laughing:).
I too have 'I hate you days' but I have people (sometimes even here on pets) that lift me up and I feel all positive again.

Karma those dogs your way.

ancientgirl
February 11th, 2011, 02:09 PM
I say drop the bad karma and fill it with good. I know it sounds ridiculous but it works for me all the time. If you feel good, and you are full of light...then you get light back.

I had to fill my head with light this morning let me tell you..and as a result..things are great.

That is why I say to you AncientGirl to look after you first and fill your life up with light. I may sound like a complete nutjob (and I am :laughing:).
I too have 'I hate you days' but I have people (sometimes even here on pets) that lift me up and I feel all positive again.

Karma those dogs your way.

BM, I always try to do the right thing. And I try very hard to always be positive and hope that the universe will allow me to be able to remain this way.

Karma is indeed a great thing, and I'm hoping furry little things come my way. :)

ancientgirl
February 11th, 2011, 02:10 PM
Oh yeah she once had to go to rehab because she sat around so much that her muscles atrophied. An able bodied person who actually disabled herself with laziness. Burns me up. She's got issues and we've tried to get her help but she just flat out refuses.

I hope you get the dogs. They would have a loving home with you and they probably dont get enough attention from her anyway.

Yeah, unfortunately you have the same problem I do, you can't just walk away. It would be so much easier to just get that person out of your life along with all the negativity they bring.

BenMax
February 11th, 2011, 02:52 PM
BM, I always try to do the right thing. And I try very hard to always be positive and hope that the universe will allow me to be able to remain this way.

Karma is indeed a great thing, and I'm hoping furry little things come my way. :)

I know AncientGirl. I just hate to hear you are in pain.:grouphug:

ancientgirl
February 11th, 2011, 03:07 PM
I know AncientGirl. I just hate to hear you are in pain.:grouphug:

Thank you. It's outlets like this forum, and Facebook that help me through things like this in my life. My gang help immensely too.

:grouphug:

chico2
February 11th, 2011, 05:24 PM
and a beautiful gang it is:cloud9:
:grouphug:to you A-G

14+kitties
February 11th, 2011, 05:46 PM
I don't know for what reason she's taking care of her sister. Honestly, I've heard her on more than one occasion curse her even being alive. Personally, I think she's trying to rack up karma points, but it's not my business.

Gotta be $$ involved somewhere. Usually is.

rainbow
February 11th, 2011, 07:42 PM
Gotta be $$ involved somewhere. Usually is.

Yep, she can probably get support from the gov't and also claim her as a dependent on her income tax. I imagine she could pad her claim as well.

ancientgirl
February 11th, 2011, 07:59 PM
and a beautiful gang it is:cloud9:
:grouphug:to you A-G

Thanks Chico!

Gotta be $$ involved somewhere. Usually is.

Yeah, this woman doesn't do anything unless there is something in it for her.

ancientgirl
March 22nd, 2011, 09:58 AM
Hey guys! Some of you might know via my FB page, but my dad stopped by yesterday and he said he was going to let me have the little Yorkie.

I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think this time she's coming home with me. I feel bad though, the other little dog she shares the laundry room with I can't take. I fear he's going to be very lonely, but I'm hoping he'll be okay.:( I wish I could take him also, but I know there's no way my dad's wife would give him to me as well. She is getting into the pet sitting business, so maybe he'll be okay and have company when she sits for other pets.

I've decided on a plan and hopefully can slowly get the gang used to her. My main concern is Oksana. She's on anxiety medication, so I need to make sure that above all, she's going to be comfortable with the new addition.

I'm going to keep her upstairs for now. I have a table downstairs, and I'm getting her a large crate tomorrow, which I will secure onto the table upstairs. I want a large enough crate so that I can put a small puppy pad in there, a bed for her and food and water.

I'm also going to get the gang another litter box and put it downstairs, in the corner of the dining room, which I really don't use. I have a box in the upstairs bathroom, but I'm thinking if they begin to avoid the upstairs because of the pup, they will have another box downstairs. Either way, there will be one extra box, so that's got to be good anyway.

I'm going to give it a couple of weeks, and observe Oksana in the meantime. If I see her behavior becomes more anxious, and she begins to have cystisis again, I'll have to possibly re-home the Yorkie. I do have someone who will take her immediately, Miguel. Some of you might remember him, the maintenance guy where I live who helped me with Czari. He's got a little poodle and had mentioned to me last time he wanted a little friend for him, so I know Miguel would give her a wonderful and loving home. BTW, Miguel took another stray home with him this weekend. :D

Oh, and the last time I had decided on naming her Anushka, but since that didn't work out I don't want to jinx things by naming her that. So, right now I'm liking Sofie. I think it's a sweet name for a small female dog. I also like Mikka, so it's between those two names.

So does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can make things easier on the gang?

chico2
March 22nd, 2011, 05:25 PM
A-G,I have no suggestions,but I know my cats would freak out..however I am sure it's doable and I am happy the little Yorkie gets away from that woman.

I think your plan sounds like a good one,hopefully the little guy is not too energetic and wants to play with the cats,he'll get a few smacks and scratches.

Can't wait to see how it goes..:cat::cat::cat::cat::cat::dog:

ancientgirl
March 22nd, 2011, 06:21 PM
A-G,I have no suggestions,but I know my cats would freak out..however I am sure it's doable and I am happy the little Yorkie gets away from that woman.

I think your plan sounds like a good one,hopefully the little guy is not too energetic and wants to play with the cats,he'll get a few smacks and scratches.

Can't wait to see how it goes..:cat::cat::cat::cat::cat::dog:

Thanks Chico. I spoke to one of the women at my vet clinic, she's been rescuing dogs and cats for years, and she told me that my plan sounds good. She said to give it a week or two. She also told me she knows quite a few people who would give little Sofie a wonderful home if it didn't work out with Oksana.

I often think back, to when I first saw Oksana as a kitten. There was probably a reason she was huddled in the corner of her cage, not playing with her siblings. Ideally, she would do best being the only cat, but at this point that's not an option. Heck, when I brought her home Vlad was already with me.

Hopefully someday, I will have a place with an extra room, and at that point, I can give Oksana her very own room.