September 17th, 2004, 08:57 AM
;) It was a cold winter day when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hold in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a nibble. He was there for almost an hour, no nibble. A young boy walked onto the ice, cut a hole not too far from the old man, dropped in his line. It took only a minute or two and WHAM!!! :eek: a largemount bass his his hook and the boy pulled in the fish. The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. The boy dropped in his line again, and WHAM!!! :eek: The old man couldn't take it any more, went to the boy and said "Son, I've been her for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught fish...How do you do it?" The boy responded "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again, the boy said "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look" said the old man, "I can't understand a word you are saying." So, the boy spit into his hand and said "You have to keep the worms warm!" :eek:
September 17th, 2004, 09:06 AM
Eeeew! Eeeeew! and again Eeeeewwwwwwww!!!! :eek:
September 17th, 2004, 01:26 PM
LOL good one ;) thanks for sharing Debanneball :)
Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents Mark as unread
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
September 18th, 2004, 02:28 AM
Man Falls Asleep At Church...
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
September 18th, 2004, 02:33 AM
If you're like me you're get a chuckle outta this if you're a kitty Lover!
There are two friends at a bar late one night. One holds a cat
everywhere he goes. he never wears a watch. The friend finally
asks him, "What's with the cat?" The man responds, "I use it to
tell time." As the two are leaving the bar, the second man is
pondering how this is possible. He finally asks his friend,
puzzled, "So how does it tell time?" The man gives the cat a
hard squeeze around its middle. The cat lets out a long meow,
very loud. Down the street, a woman opens her window to yell,
"What's with all the racket? It's one in the morning!!!"
September 18th, 2004, 03:43 AM
Knight :D ,Some good rib ticklers there mate ! ;)
September 19th, 2004, 01:55 AM
First one all I can say is eewww, eewww, eewww. :D
Ironknight pretty good ones. :D :D
September 20th, 2004, 09:35 AM
:D Very good ones there sir....guess I better get some better ones. I have to research my files. Later Iron :D