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I need advice...

heeler's rock!
September 16th, 2004, 06:54 PM
Sorry for the long post, but bare with me....

Okay, I'm working as a dog walker in Calgary right now, and I also board dogs as my own business from my home. The lady I am working for is the most amazing boss ever! I love the dogs I walk, and enjoy being outdoors all day. Sounds good, right? It is the best job an animal lover could ever have!!! BUT....
my husband has a degree in zoology from the U of C and is still working at the PetroCanada gas station he was working at while he was in school!!!! He applied everywhere for a good job somewhere in his field, or close too, but no one would give him a chance. Now he's looking at joining the Calgary Police Service, but has to get his vision corrected by laser eye surgery, before he can even apply!!!!!! That's $1800.00 that we don't have!

I have a potential job offer from a land company to be an admin. assistant. I'd get paid $2.00 - $3.00 more an hour, it's permanent with benefits, and full time. So this means more money, but I'd probably hate the job. The dog walking is only part time right now...If my dog boarding was more busy, or if Carlos was already on his way to being a police officer, then this wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, he hasn't even applied yet because of all the things he has to do first, and I haven't had any clients lately.

What should I do? If I'm offered the admin. assistant job, should I take it and be miserable, but make more money to pay bills, or should I keep dog walking as I love the job, I just don't have enough money? What would you do?

September 16th, 2004, 07:04 PM
That is such a tough call... Lots of ppl I know fret over money issues and paying bills, but are you really ready to take a new job, JUST for that reason?
Make a list of pros and cons about both.. sounds silly but it could really help when you're going crazy thinking about it.
As for the surgery, isn't there some program that he could at least be reimbursed? I mean, it is to work for them, they should pay for it. But I guess that's a whole other thread.

September 16th, 2004, 07:07 PM
You're married? You're so young (in years, I mean, definitely not in maturity)!!! Wow, that's neat!

Anyway... I think you should bite the bullet on this one, for the sake of your husband and both of your futures. If you and your husband get set up more comfortably, in a few years you can get a real boarding/dog-walking business going (I know you already board, but at a different level).

Also, you may not love the new job, but you might not hate it either. You could meet some great people there and gain some work and life experience. Working in an office might not be for you, but it can still have something to teach you (as long as you don't hate it and still keep doing it your whole life as that would be a mistake!

How long have you been with your husband (personal question, but hey it's a personal thread!)

September 16th, 2004, 07:49 PM
Based on personal experience, I would definitely recommand you take the job you love.

The admin. ass. position may last longer than you think. You'd be bringing NUFF stress into the house.

Unless, money seriously is a huge issue, I strongly recommand you stick with what you love best... and continue looking for a p/t job in your area that won't conflict w dog walking.

let us know what u decide. :)

September 16th, 2004, 08:22 PM
Do what you LOVE and what you enjoy!

Your life is not about what you do for money it's about the type of person you are, and how you share the goodness of you with others! :D

BTW warn your hubby laser eye correction in law enforcement may be detrimental to him, some procedures cause 'halo' effects and 'night glare' which makes it dangerous working shift work and driving at night.

September 16th, 2004, 08:43 PM
Also, about the laser eye surgery... it is not permanant, and will most likely have to be done every 5-10 yrs.

September 16th, 2004, 09:15 PM
Just want to clarify my response... I also think that what you love is more important than money (heck, I'm taking a break from working to study and write!) but I also think that spouses make sacrifices for each other, and it seems like heeler's rock's husband also deserves a chance to find a fulfilling job. I would take a better paying job, with an agreement with myself and hubby that after a certain amount of time I would get a chance to do what I love again. I tell my husband all the time that if he wants to take a break from work (his job is nightmarish with hours) I will take a teaching job for a couple years while he does what he needs to do to find a new path. It's just my opinion and of course heeler's rock knows her own situation best, and should make the final decision herself (stating the obvious, duh!).

Sneaky, if it's done properly, laser surgery is permanent, as far as I know.... where did you hear that it's not? My mom had it done when it was in its infancy (10 years ago or so?) and she still sees better with me, even when I'm wearing my contacts!

September 16th, 2004, 09:21 PM
A few places around here, I was inquiring about it cause I want to get rid of my contacts... they said it wasn't permanent, and will most likely need to have it done again... that doesn't mean it won't last but I guess they are just covering their butts.
I am not sure of any amounts they said but it was a certain price to have it done one time... and then it was a price 3 times as much to have it done for a lifetime (as many times as need be).
I believe it's only not permanent because if you had bad eyes to begin with you're bound to have bad eyes again sooner or later... it's just a matter of genes I guess.

September 16th, 2004, 09:27 PM
I spent 14 years at a job that was only supposed to last "until I figure out what I want to do with my life". :rolleyes: You're still young and could probably handle the stress right now. If this is your huby's dream, I'd say sacrifice a little and take the job for a while. Just keep that goal in focus and leave when you promised yourself that you would! If, however, he's doing this just for the money, then you should probably rethink the situation. You don't want to both end up in jobs that you hate and which stress you both out - that does not make for marital bliss! ;)

PS. How do you feel about potentially being married to a police officer? That's something else to consider...

heeler's rock!
September 16th, 2004, 10:50 PM
Thank you all soooo much for the advice!!! My hubby does really want to be a police officer. He works nights right now so it won't be a huge deal with the night shifts. He got thinking about it when so many police officers that came into his work told him about how he'd make a good cop. I totally support him in whatever he decides to do. I know it's dangerous work, but if it makes him happy, that's all that matters. His mom doesn't like the idea, but she's getting there!

As for the laser eye surgery, believe it or not, he has to get it done or they'll automatically disqualify him. His eyesight is terrible and it has to be at least 20/100 without glasses or contacs. he definitely won't pass that without the correction. They should pay for it, but they won't because that's just for his application!! They still might not even hire him! They're really strict here which is so not fair! It's like they want "perfect" people! Oh well. If he didn't spend money on the surgery, he'd be spending it on tuition!

I love dog walking. The lady I work for is awesome too. I really can't leave her now as she is getting married in a month. She and I talked about it and she understands about the money, but really doesn't want me to leave. She said to do what I feel is best. I'd feel horrible for leaving her stranded one month before her wedding!!!

Carlos and I talked about it, and he said to stay with the dog walking. He thinks I am panicking too early. I am finally happy and I think I'm going to stay with the dog walking. I've worked too long for bosses that don't care, and I've finally found someone who appreciates me and I can't treat her like that. I find a p/t job and go from there.......if things aren't better in a month or so, I'll find another job then. At least her wedding will be done.

To answer your question moon, my hubby and I have been married only for 6 months. We've been together for almost 4 years and were engaged for over a year. Our wedding was March 6th this year. I am quite young when I think about it, only 23 and he's almost 25, but we love eachother and besides, divorce is expensive, so we're kinda stuck with eachother now!!!! :eek: :D

September 16th, 2004, 10:53 PM
hehehe, heeler's rock!, you're so cute!! :D :D :D

and congrats on the marriage. :p

heeler's rock!
September 16th, 2004, 11:02 PM
:p :o Thanks!

September 17th, 2004, 01:30 AM
Waggie, that's exactly what I wanted to say!

Heeler's Rock, Sounds like you and your husband are taking good care of each other! In my opinion, you should work towards having your jobs compliment your life together -- and looks like that's what you're working on! So sweet of you to worry about your boss's situation like that. (Hmm... see employers? If you are good to your employees they'll be good to you -- why is that such a hard concept for some???) Anyway, my guess is that everything WILL work out for the best because you're good people!

Congrats from me on your marriage too! One of the strongest couples I know got married at age 16 and 17 (they had special motivation :o ) and that was almost 30 years ago! Age actually isn't a factor for success -- although I think knowing what you want is, which can come with age but doesn't always!

How about posting a wedding photo? (hey, I did it!!!)

September 17th, 2004, 07:12 AM
Heelers,I would take the job,no money for bills or everyday living is not going to do either one of you any good...
Having a job you love,is very important,but not being able to pay bills etc..can put a real strain on any marriage,believe me,I speak from experience..
We do make sacrifices for the person we love,I moved to the other side of the world(Canada)leaving friends and family behind.
Right now you and hubbie have to plan for your future,you are only just beginning.Although I believe in equal opportunitys,right now it's time to help hubby out in his wishes to become a police-officer,very admirable I must say :D
So my advice,take the job,get your finances in order,you're very young,you'll have lots of time to do the things you love to do.
Just be sure to make a promise to yourself,there is a chance you'll get stuck in a rot,time flies after all,once hubby is established in the police-force,you can get back to what you love doing.
Moontamara,I also got married at a very young age,younger than Heelers and boy,did we struggle in the beginning,but 40yrs later we don't regret a moment :D

September 17th, 2004, 08:25 AM
Where are you originally from, Chico2? I can certainly empathise with your sacrifice :D !

September 17th, 2004, 04:20 PM
Tamara,I thought everyone knew by now :D
I am from Sweden,my husband from France...we were married and had our first two boys in Sweden,then we moved to Canada and had a third boy.
Looking back it was a sacrifice,I was very homesick for a loong time,but later I did not regret it for a minute.
I suppose you are in much the same boat,I still have pangs of homesickness,but then I go to IKEA and buy some Swedish choclate :D and Canada is definetly my country of choice now and we are Canadian.

September 17th, 2004, 05:13 PM
heeler's rock! I took a job 27yrs ago working full 3 shifts in a plant that I had previously said Iwould never do.This job has raised my two sons and paid for our house.Nowadays all I dream of is getting out of this job and try as I might I cant find a job with a near enough wage because over the years we have become accustom to living to a certain income and jobs that would appeal to me hours wise do not pay the wages my job which has unsociable hours and weekend work pays.Its a bit of a rat trap that I am caught in here.Having said that I do enjoy a loving family around me and the great company of pets feline and canine.Lifes for enjoying so if you can see better times ahead either way then go for it.Personally I think my option is to stay put and hope to raise the funds to retire earlier from full time employment.Dont know how that figures over there and how jobs are available but you have to go for things in life.So long as you have good health and each other you can always change direction again if things dont suit.Good luck ! :)

September 17th, 2004, 09:29 PM
Stewart, i'm not sure if i quite caught everything u were trying to say...

but this girl's JUST started her life, she should be thinking of "early" retirement!!

however, i did follow the last part you said... if she doesn't like the job, she should definitely feel free to move on and get OUT before it does become a "rat trap"


heeler's rock!
September 17th, 2004, 11:27 PM
Well, the job I was looking at taking didn't pan out, but no big loss! My heart wasn't in it anyways! I am really happy right now in this job and we've talked about it, and I'm gonna stay. We'll be okay with money, we just have to cut back here and there. My last walk yesterday was 3 beautiful Irish Setters and after Wil.E (the crazy 4 yr. old male), looked at me with his big brown eyes, my heart sank. I started bawling just thinking about how much I'd miss all the dogs I walk! That's when I knew that leaving this job was not going to be an easy option! Thank you all for your kind words and advise. I'll keep you all posted and if I decide to leave, I'll be coming here for advice again!!! :)

Moon, you wanted pictures, so here they are! Enjoy everyone!!!!! :D

heeler's rock!
September 17th, 2004, 11:44 PM
Here's a few....

heeler's rock!
September 17th, 2004, 11:48 PM
And a few more!!

September 17th, 2004, 11:53 PM
Congrats and very nice. :)

September 18th, 2004, 01:33 AM
Very cool pics... hope you don't mind... your hubby sure is a looker!!! :rolleyes: :D
Congrats to you and your family!

September 18th, 2004, 02:20 AM
Just Lovely yeah!!...thanks for sharing your Precious pictures! :)
looks like it was a cold day LOL....
ur hubby looks just like his dad..

September 18th, 2004, 03:27 AM
wAggie! Sorry for the delay time difference you know,Me online you not or visa versa ;) All I was trying to do was give a perspective from someone who has been through similar choises a survived to the tell the tale.I now see it didnt pan out anyways so she needent have got so wound up ;)

September 18th, 2004, 06:05 AM
Pami,you have a beautiful family and so are you :)
I am glad the decision about the new job,was kind of made for you..and that you can stay with the job you love.
You can always publish a poem or two to keep you afloat :D
Then in a crunch,I am sure your family would help out,hubby and I just had each other.
I am sure all those doggies are sooo relieved you're not leaving :D

September 19th, 2004, 08:55 AM
Stewart, np, all's cool :)

Pami... WOW!! i looooooooove the pix! but yes, i did see some SNOW in the outdoor pix, am i right? :eek:

(this morning, we had a HIGH of 8, and yesterday i was practically tanning outside in a bikini! ...that's y i'm freaking... :eek: :o )

September 19th, 2004, 09:03 AM
Pami, your pics are beautiful! Congrats to you and hubby. :D You make a stunning couple. I, too, am glad that things were decided for you. Funny how fate has a way of stepping in like that. ;) I think publishing a few of your poems is an excellent idea! Good luck! :)

heeler's rock!
September 19th, 2004, 01:16 PM
Hey! Thanks everyone! It was a chilly day out!! Brrrrr! The wedding was at the beginning of March so I was just glad the sun was out! :D

Sneaky, no worries about saying my husband's a cutie! I know he is, otherwise I wouldn't have married him!!! Just kidding!!! :D I still would have married the big lug!

Yeah, I'm glad the job thing was kinda decided for me. Our parents gave us a loan to help out, and we'll be okay I think. If not, McDonald's is always hiring!!! :eek: :)

I'm glad I don't have to leave my puppies I walk either! They are all so special and I'm just starting to get to know them all....I love them so much and I don't wanna say goodbye to any of them! You are all so great on this forum! Such great advise about pets, love, LIFE, and even money!! Thanks so much for all of your help, and hey, if any of you are ever in Calgary with your pets, I'd love to board 'em for you! :)

September 19th, 2004, 10:21 PM
I didn't check online much over the weekend and missed this thread's developments!

Pami, thanks for posting the lovely pictures!!! It looks like you had a multicultural wedding too! Did either of your families have any reservations? My husband's father had some, but came 100% around this spring (thankfully!).

Chico, Sweden, right -- so English isn't your first language? Your writing doesn't give that away at all. Anyway, will answer your pm very soon!

Donna Marie
September 19th, 2004, 10:33 PM
Beautiful photos of handsome families! You must have been FREEZING in those pics outside!

Good for you for having a career you love so very much. And good for your hubby for following his dream! The only thing I can think of is perhaps seeing if the treatment centre will take payments or post dated cheques. You might look into getting a line of credit with your bank as well...the interest rates are usually not too high, and you can make monthly payments on that also.

September 20th, 2004, 12:17 AM
Wow....great pictures!! Nice family!
As for the job thing, well I had one of those great pay/ good benefit jobs that had no satisfaction for me whatsoever....and man, I didn't see the difference it made in my life and marriage until I left it. You can take a job for the money, but if you think or know now that it is going to make you miserable....that money is really not going to be worth it. No matter how hard you try, a job that you don't love or at least like really does wear on you.

Anyhow good luck to ya and congrats. :D

heeler's rock!
September 20th, 2004, 04:32 PM
Yeah. I didn't notice how miserable I was either, until I found dog walking. I am in such a great mood everynight! I was diagnosed with depression and genearlized (sp?) anxiety about 2 years ago and was put on 100mgs. of Zoloft. That's a lot considering the max dosage is 200mgs!! Anyways, it helped with my mood a lot, but if I forgot to take it, poor hubby would know!!! :eek: I would get really cranky! Since dog walking, I keep forgetting to take the meds and you can't tell the difference! I am so happy and love my job and my boss so much, it has affected my mood!

As for the eye surgey, the place he's getting it done at doesn't do payment plans, at least their website doesn't say they do. He can talk to them when he goes in. I'll look at a line of credit or something, thanks for the tip! We'll figure it out. our parents have been an amazing pillar of financial strength for us during this time! :) When we need money though, the first thing they always say is "Get rid of your pets!" I couldn't do that unless I was facing bankruptcy or homlessness! If things got so bad I couldn't support them anymore, then I'd have to find them better homes. Luckily, that hasn't happened!! We'll be okay, we just need to budget ourselves!

Moon, our wedding was totally nondenominational (sp?). His parents are christian, and my family is sikh. My parents have always loved him, but his mom HATED me for a long time because I wasn't christian which was weird because usually my mom hates the guys I date because they're not sikh.... We're finally good now though and she and I get along great! It's hard to be with someone whose family doesn't accept you, but we made it through. I decided to wear a traditional sikh dress because I wanted a part of my heritage to be there. Other tahn that though, we had a marriage commisioner, roast beef for diner, and karaoke and a murder mystery for the reception!!! HAHAHA!! It was an awesome night though! My mom's family that was there said they had a great time, which is awesome. I was affraid that because it wasn't traditional that they wouldn't like it. My cousin got married the summer before and her wedding was a week long, drawn out celebration. She had over 400 guests at the wedding from the groom's side and ours. It was practically a family reunion for us!!! I met uncle's I didn't even know I had!! It was nuts. I was glad to have a MUCH smaller wedding and I'm sure the parents were glad too as they didn't have to fork over so much dough!!! HAHAHA!! :D

September 20th, 2004, 05:06 PM
WHEW! all that reading sounded like a tongue twister!! :eek:

glad ur soooooooooooo happy (at least that's what i sounds like! ;) :D )


September 20th, 2004, 06:45 PM
well I think that was very reasonable of you two!! I have a distant relative who was getting married this September to a Sikh man, and they decided to do 2 weddings, both of them huge and expensive! Very impractical, and a little selfish in my point of view... Your dress is absolutely beautiful, and was an excellent choice. Sounds like a great day!!!!!

September 20th, 2004, 07:46 PM
Just read this thread! Beautiful pix of a really special occasion! You look sooo happy!
About the job, all I can say is I spent 30 years in a job that was good pay but high stress. I guess it met our needs, but I really wish I had been working here at the college all that time instead. By the time I really wanted out, I had too many years in and I would have been giving up too much to leave. Talk about feeling trapped! Now, I'll be able to double-dip, but oh the price!!! :o

heeler's rock!
September 20th, 2004, 08:37 PM
Well, I originally wanted 2 weddings to try and make both sets of parents happy, but yeah, it is kinda unneccessary. They didn't care in the end anyways so it turned out good! I am really happy and I hope this lasts!!!!!! :D

September 20th, 2004, 09:30 PM
don't "hope," u gotta make it WORK, baby! :p

things may fall on ur lap but u ultimately decide what to do w it, and where to put it. :D

Cactus Flower
September 20th, 2004, 11:27 PM
Ok I've missed this thread somehow. Just stumbled upon it and looked at the pictures and WOW. Wow wow, and WOW I say again!

Pam, you are absolutely beautiful!!!! I have always thought that people from your homeland are exceptionally stunning- and you are the perfect example. NO hair is that black anywhere else! Oh, I'm so envious. Perfect skin tone (no tanning bed for you!), dark eyes and that BLACK BLACK hair, like a raven's wing! Such exotic beauty....this is how I always wished I looked!
(No, folks, I'm not bicoastal ;) Just completely in awe).

One of my instructors (Uma Krishnaswami- she's also an author of children's books) once told me about a traditional sikh wedding. I am amazed at how you were able to compromise between your two families.

Murder mystery- what fun!!!!

I just love seeing people cross cultural boundaries in the name of love.

Fascinating! Thanks for sharing!

heeler's rock!
September 21st, 2004, 10:33 PM
Cactus, that is sooooo sweet!!! I am blushing!!! I don't know what to say, except thank you! :o

A traditional Sikh wedding is quite the "ordeal" and when you have a cousin getting married every year, like I seem too, you don't wanna have one yourself!!! When you're family, you're even MORE involved! They are beautiful, and can be enjoyable (except when your grandmother, who barely speaks english, is barking orders at you to stuff samosas!!! :rolleyes: ) Carlos and I lucked out. Normally my parents would have FREAKED out if I married someone who isn't sikh, but they just love him and now his mom and I are getting along great too! But cactus, you are too kind! That is sweet of you! I too am not bicostal, incase anyone was wondering!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

On the job front, I think I may have some bad news!!! Yesterday, I noticed my ankle was kinda hurting when I streched it out. It was a bit swollen, but nothing major. Today, I did my full day of walks, and then I had training class with hubby and our two pups. It was full of running and walking. Now I just got home and my ankle is so swollen!! It hurts too when I walk after resting it!!! I don't know whats wrong and I'm scared cuz this ankle, my right ankle, has been injured a lot when I was a kid. I broke it several times, fractured it, twisted it, so needless to say, it's really weak. I'm gonna go get it checked out, but eveyone hope that it's not something life altering and that it's something fixable!!! :eek:

September 21st, 2004, 11:42 PM
I'll keep the paws crossed for you here....and make sure in the meantime to put a cold pack on it in 10 min intervals for like an hour at night and keep off it as much as possible until you get in to see someone. (I get a lot of swelling in the ankles when it is humid outside or I spend too much time on my feet.)

September 22nd, 2004, 01:21 AM
My right ankle is the same way!! I am always very careful of it because when I was a kid I broke it in three places and it just hasn't been the same since.
I hope it is nothing serious! Hopefully it's just telling you to slow down!!! ;)

September 22nd, 2004, 08:31 AM
Heelers,your ankle is telling you to"Slow Down!!!" :D
I hope nothing is seriously wrong..
My son(in Alberta)broke his ankle badly last winter,he is still complaining of pain and he like you,walks a lot every day.
Yesterday,he was walking their little poodle and this GSD crashed through his gate and came running towards them,luckily he just wanted a friendly encounter,but he knocked my son to the ground(6'3 210lb's)...and now his ankle is really sore again,hopefully no new breaks... :(
Good Luck,Heelers!!

Cactus Flower
September 22nd, 2004, 08:41 AM
Oh no! You might have to wear a support brace when walking (and not just when it hurts). Hope that gets better quickly!

September 22nd, 2004, 12:39 PM
Heeler's, hope your ankle is ok! :)

On the job front, I know you don't have any kids, but check out It's a site for work-at-home moms. They have links to some legitimate telecommuting jobs. Maybe you can find something there to supplement your income part-time?

heeler's rock!
September 22nd, 2004, 04:23 PM
Thanks everyone for the good healing vibes coming my way!! I did put a tensor bandage on it today and it wasn't as bad. My right ankle is already deformed from breaking it like 5 times as a kid. The Dr's told me when I was like 8 that if I didn't watch out and stop breaking it that they'd have to amputate it!! (I hope they were just joking, but man, I didn't break it since!!! :eek: )

Writing 4 fun, thanks for the link! I'm gonna check 'em out right away. I'm also looking into doing more acting. I acted in a few murder mysteries here and I've applied with a company that performs in different cities in Canada. They replyed saying they have some upcoming shows and that they might have some good starter roles! I love acting! I love singing too, but singing is too hard to make money off of!!! :D

heeler's rock!
September 22nd, 2004, 04:26 PM
KRD, thanks for the tip! I'll be sure to do that tonight. I would be okay if it was just swollen, but it really hurts when it's even touched! Maybe it's just bruised....we'll see I guess!!! :)

heeler's rock!
September 23rd, 2004, 11:06 PM
So, I'm going to the Dr's tomorrow....I'm scared! At first I thought it was just swelling from the heat, then it started hurting, and now it's all red and bruised! I can't even touch it! Walking is fine, but walking up or down stairs hurts, and running is a no no.....I just hope it's fixable!!!! :eek: :(