November 23rd, 2010, 11:16 AM
I've never posted here before but I feel the need to tell my best friend's story.
10 years ago I was mourning another 4 legged loss. I decided that I wasn't ready for another dog, but since I missed having an animal around all the time I thought I'd go volunteer at the Humane Society and walk needy dogs.
I wasn't there but half an hour, and hadn't walked a single dog before I had a whopping great Saint Bernard in the car and was on the way home. I had never seen a sadder looking animal in a cage and I fell hook, line and sinker for her immediately. She was just over a year old and had the most beautiful face you've ever seen.
K has been my best friend for 10 years. We've been through a lot together, but at the end of the day, no matter what happened at work or in my personal life, everything was always ok when I looked into those big chocolate brown eyes.
We did everything together. We chased cats, played with sticks, wrestled in the snow and shared french fries. I even took her to work with me sometimes, although having Saint Bernard under your desk isn't exactly the boss's favourite sight.
Yesterday I put K to sleep. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I didn't have many choices. She had tumours in her shoulder and hadn't been able to walk for a month. Being an older girl, the option of amputation didn't sit well with me as her back legs had been riddles with arthritis for some time.
No matter how much pain she was in, K always had a wagging tail and a big smile. She had the biggest character I have ever seen in a dog and I don't know how I'm going to stumble through life without her by my side.
Rest in peace, Kagin St. Bernard, April 11, 2000 - November 22, 2010. I will always love you.
Thanks for reading.
November 23rd, 2010, 02:52 PM
Sorry you came to our board under such sad circumstances, but welcome. Kagin was a beautiful girl, and so lucky that you came into her life ten years ago, and you that she came into yours. We are blessed with the chance to share far too few years with our beloved fur babies. I keep my 70 lb Akita cross under my desk at work every day, and some days I bring my lab also... Your girl is pain free at the bridge now, and she will see you again when the time is right. RIP sweet Kagin, you were well loved and always will be.
November 23rd, 2010, 04:27 PM
Motormatic,I know from experience,it feels better to be able to express your feelings of loss,with people who feel the way you do about their very much loved animal.
I think it was fate that brought you and Kagin together,it was meant to be.
She was such a beautiful girl,I can clearly see what you mean,who would not want to be greeted by a Saint at the end of the day.
I am very,very sorry for your loss:grouphug:
November 23rd, 2010, 06:13 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, what a sweet sweet face.. she is at peace now and out of pain, and was blessed that you came into her life.. she is now an angel watching over you :angel2:
November 23rd, 2010, 10:01 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss, Motormatic. :grouphug: She's a beautiful girl and you know she's watching over you now, as you watched over her all her life.
:candle: sweet Kagin
November 24th, 2010, 07:32 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss motormatic and please accept my deepest condolences. I'm glad you posted though because writing a tribute has helped many people deal with the pain.
My condolences again, :sorry:
November 24th, 2010, 07:39 AM
Thank you for honouring us with your tribute to your best friend. Most of us know what you are going through.
I am so sorry for your loss.:grouphug: What a beautiful girl. Please come back and share more of your memories with us.
November 24th, 2010, 07:43 AM
Beautiful tribute. Things happen for a reason. The greater power knew what was going to happen when you walked into the HS that day. :thumbs up
:candle::rip: Kagin :candle: Run free at the Bridge. But please don't chase kitties. They don't like that. ;)
November 24th, 2010, 07:46 AM
what a beautiful girl and what a beautiful life you gave each other.....rip puppers.
November 24th, 2010, 08:02 AM
Thanks so much for your kind words, you guys. There has been a lot of loss in my family over the last few years, but I can honestly say that losing Kagin has given me the worst sense of loss I've ever felt. My house doesn't feel like a home anymore. I haven't even put her drool filled water bowl away yet, and her empty bed still sits at the bottom of mine.
I feel terrible for putting her to sleep, although the intellectual part of my brain knows it was the right thing to do for her.
I'm wondering you you folks have dealt with this? I was thinking about taking in a foster dog for a local rescue organization.
I'm not ready to make a lifetime commitment to another pup yet, but there is a comfortable, empty bed, a big empty yard, and a lot of love in my house that needs a recipient.
Just for fun, here's a pic of Kagin being a pure Saint, loving the snow last winter:)
November 24th, 2010, 01:21 PM
Taking an animal in to foster is a fantastic idea :) there are so many out there that would welcome a warm bed, love and kindness even till they find their permanent home. Who knows, you may just end up being a foster failure as we call it around here. No one will ever take place of your Kagin, but our hearts have an endless capacity to make room for another. I believe that our pets choose us... when it is time for a new permanent addition to come into your life you will know it.. sounds like you have a lot of love to give. Please keep us posted of any new additions temporary or permanent with pics and all when you are ready :)
November 24th, 2010, 01:27 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, motormatic. Most here know the pain of losing thier best friend and family member, and it's never easy, regardless of circumstance. Have peace in knowing you saved her and gave her a long, wonderful life filled with love. :grouphug:
:rip: beautiful girl :candle: :angel2:
November 24th, 2010, 01:29 PM
What a great picture. The emptiness of a home when our furkids leave cannot be described. We lost 2 of our friends this year and the house is very lonely.
Having been involved with rescue for the past few years, I cannot begin to tell you how rewarding it is. I would take a couple of weeks and then strongly recommend that you foster. Fosters are badly needed in every rescue out there.
As Loopoo said please keep us up to date and we love pictures.
November 24th, 2010, 02:20 PM
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl. I'm very sorry for your loss.
November 24th, 2010, 03:46 PM
I agree about fostering,there are so many needy,desperate dogs out there,but only when you feel ready.
Kagin had a wonderful life with you and I am certain,she would be very proud to know you will help another lonely soul,who to no fault of her/his own has ended up unwanted in a shelter.:grouphug:
November 24th, 2010, 04:22 PM
I am so sorry about your big beautiful girl. I can as many of us can sympathize and know the pain you feel. It gets a little easier. You can never replace them you can move on to love others. I think fostering would be great and it is hard to find fosters for the big kids. :rip:sweet girl
November 24th, 2010, 08:56 PM
A touching tribute to Kagin motormatic and very sorry to hear of your loss.
If your not quite ready to make that lifetime commitment yet, fostering would be a great alternative to fill that empty bed, yard, and all the love that comes with them.
Thank you for sharing your story.
:candle: Sweet Kagin :candle:
November 25th, 2010, 12:31 AM
What a beautiful face :lovestruck:.
I am so sorry for your loss :grouphug: :candle: :grouphug:.
December 13th, 2010, 09:04 AM
Just thought I'd post an update. I have decided to adopt a senior dog. It hasn't been very long, but I don't think Kagin would want me to be lonely and there are so many dogs who need good homes.
I found Mason, a beautiful American Bulldog with a sad, sad story, through a rescue. I made the trip to meet him yesterday and have officially applied to adopt him. He is about 8 years old and sweet as can be, even through all that he has endured and I would like to give him a comfortable retirement home.
Fingers crossed that I can bring this lovely boy home for the holidays!
December 13th, 2010, 09:33 AM
Motormatic, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Kagin. Certainly a very stunning boy with a sweet face. No wonder you miss him so :(
Congratulations on your decision to adopt and Bless you for choosing a sweet senior who deserves a break. I guarantee you Kagin is up there giving the paws up to you and you will not regret this decision for a second.
Please, if the adoption goes through, start a new thread for your new love (and include pics of course!!!!) to keep us posted. :highfive:
December 13th, 2010, 10:02 AM
Bless you for saving a senior. That's my plan someday. :fingerscr you get him.
December 13th, 2010, 10:08 AM
Sending lots of :goodvibes: for a successful adoption. :grouphug: :angel:
December 13th, 2010, 10:22 AM
That's just awesome motormatic :goodvibes: and good luck:fingerscr
December 13th, 2010, 03:49 PM
That's wonderful,I am sure Kagin will be smiling down on you and Mason,very proud of you for giving an older dog a chance:dog::grouphug:
:fingerscrthat the adoption will go through
December 13th, 2010, 04:00 PM
Fingers crossed for you and Mason. That is funny when Buddy (English Mastiff) passed away I thought I would wait a while but the silence was deafening. I adopted an American Bulldog too Clark. I hope it works out.
December 13th, 2010, 04:01 PM
What a great idea. I did the same thing and have never regretted a moment.
:grouphug: thank you for looking at an older dog through a rescue.
December 14th, 2010, 01:11 PM
An amazing tribute.
Thank you for sharing and my sincere condolences on your loss. :grouphug:
December 14th, 2010, 02:55 PM
please accept my condolences...Kagin'e eyes look like those of an old "I know all" soul....
I am glad you are now giving a senior a chance to a wonderful life.
December 15th, 2010, 09:42 PM
:rip: sweet :angel2: Kagin :candle: She is playing at the Rainbow Bridge (http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html) with those who've gone before :candle: :grouphug: