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My kitten died

lost
November 15th, 2010, 08:28 AM
I rescued a two-month old kitten from an abandoned basement in a deserted building. She was crying for someone. I rushed down there, as she heard my voice she began crying louder, I had to break a window to reach her. She was terrified and even tried to fight me. As soon as I took her in my arms she relaxed immediately.

Two days later this sweet, fragile, innocent, beautiful creature died. And I feel like the world ended.

I'm 26, male and I have been crying like a baby. MY little baby died. I'm depressed, devastated and lifeless.

Life is cruel and unfair. I wonder why God would bring this little creature into this world only to suffer and die in pain. Then I realized, kittens, cats - they are angels. They are fragile, unable to protect themselves efficiently, they are prone to myriad diseases and are physically weak.

So why did God bring little Carmen in to my life and took her so quickly? I'd like to think her short life served a purpose. He sent his angel to show us, humans, what true and unconditional love is, what companionship is, friendship and sheer joy of the smallest of things like climbing up my leg and on to my shoulder.

Cats/kittens - they're are godsend. They are unique and special. We pay the price for loving them, but we also learn from them. 5 week kitten or 25 year old cat, they are still like children, teaching us the way of love, humility and joy.

If I one day become billionaire, I will give all of my money to change the perception of the world about cats. I would buy every person a book about these little angels in their own language and help rescue and provide better life for as many cats as my money would let me. I would want schools to educate children on the values of having a little feline friend next to you. How they change our lives.

O, Lord, I'm lost and drawn in sorrow. My poor, poor baby is gone! Please, Lord, please, take my little Carmen with you, away from this cold, cruel and unfair world. I hope one day we meet again and you'll be in my lap, looking in to my eyes, smiling and purring.

This is my Carmen
http://nsa20.casimages.com/img/2010/11/08/101108112831992994.jpg
http://nsa20.casimages.com/img/2010/11/08/101108112902562987.jpg

Rest In Peace little one. And wait for me, one day we shall reunite!

Melinda
November 15th, 2010, 10:08 AM
what a little doll she was! Maybe that was god's plan? to show you how gratifying it is to rescue cat/kittens? Maybe he opened the door to more rescues for you. thank you for giving this little angel two days of love.

BenMax
November 15th, 2010, 10:13 AM
I am so sorry about your loss and your pain.

There is a reason you were there..and she was there. There is a plan that we are not aware of. It is not fair for sure, but you were there at the most critical point of her life and passing. Had you not been there to rescue her, she would have left this earth never knowing compassion, love and warmth. That alone would have been tragic.

I have a very strong suspicion that you will gently work yourself in as an animal advocate and protector. This event was very important to you specifically. You may think I am nuts for saying this...but you may look back in a few days, weeks or years and remember my words.

Bless your heart.:angel:

RIP little one. You are loved by your own guardian angel at that very important time.:rip:

luckypenny
November 15th, 2010, 10:16 AM
I agree with Melinda...I believe she came into your life for a reason too.

I also think that you came into her life to give her comfort, love, and compassion before it was her time. Thank you for caring for her :grouphug:.

:candle: Carmen :candle:

Koteburo
November 15th, 2010, 10:36 AM
Her life was not meaningless she touched someone's heart: Yours. And she was loved and will be a part of your memories and ours even by sharing this.

Blessings Carmen. May you always run in the land of the eternal summer and happiness :candle:

doggy lover
November 15th, 2010, 10:40 AM
Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something. I made you." ~Author Unknown

14+kitties
November 15th, 2010, 11:20 AM
:candle::rip: little Carmen :candle: Your job on earth is done little one. You taught one more human the joy of holding, loving, and caring for a tiny bundle. That is all we can ask for.

lost - We all feel the pain you are going through. I myself recently lost a tiny one at 6 months. She didn't make it through her spay surgery. Earlier in the year I lost a 3 year old I've had since he was a baby to liver disease. The pain some days is crippling. But I can't help but feel every one of those deaths teach us something. Stay strong. Go on and do the work that tiny Carmen led you to. :grouphug: And please, stick around.

catlover2
November 15th, 2010, 11:39 AM
So sorry for your loss of Carmen. What a sweet little month old kitty. Unfortunately, her life was short, but it did have a purpose. She taught you compassion and love. And I do believe that a love is never lost and you will be reunited with her sometime. I hope you will consider adopting a black kitty from a shelter or rescue, black kitties are usually the last to be adopted.

aws1
November 15th, 2010, 11:51 AM
Thank you for understanding what animals bring to everyone that they touch. You made a difference for Carmen, and she has shown you that love has no limits.

:rip:Carmen:angel2:

Dog Dancer
November 15th, 2010, 01:53 PM
I have to agree with the others. Carmen knew love from you for her short time, and you in turn learned a valuable lesson yourself. Your life will never be the same now that it has been touched by Carmen's love. This was indeed perhaps her purpose here on earth. She will wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge now, playing pain free for eternity. :candle: RIP sweet Carmen your daddy loved you.

izzykan
November 15th, 2010, 04:19 PM
I'm so sorry, Lost.:candle: Losing a pet, even if we've had them only briefly, is heartbreaking. But everyone above is right, Carmen did bring something positive to your life and once the tears and pain subside, you will find the strength to use her gift to benefit many other animals. You obviously have a very kind heart. :grouphug:

lost
November 16th, 2010, 02:43 PM
Thank you, kind people for your warmness and support.

You really helped me trough very trying times. I'll write more in a few days, this thread still brings a lot pain and sorrow in my heart and I still can't cope with Carmen's loss.

Bless you all!

BenMax
November 16th, 2010, 03:05 PM
Time is a healer. Always remember that you were very important to this little life..no matter how short it was. You will be blessed for your actions and your gentle heart.

mastifflover
November 16th, 2010, 04:17 PM
So sorry for your loss but I agree there was a reason you were Carmen's rescuer. You are an angel for trying to save Carmen. Carmen came into your life even for a moment in time for a specific reason which in time will reveal itself

lindapalm
November 16th, 2010, 10:07 PM
She died loved, even if just for a short time. Thank You.

Ally&Jakub
November 17th, 2010, 12:15 AM
I am so sorry! It's always hard to lose a loved one. And we fall in love with them so fast. She is at peace now and she knew she was loved. You made her last days more special than you can even imagine.

iamhappy
November 17th, 2010, 08:31 AM
Im so sorry for your loss. pets are friends that can always touch our hearts in really deep and special way. The thread reminds me of the day my cat's sister passed away. They were only two and her sister was a really frail one.

Im so sorry.

debodun
November 17th, 2010, 09:33 AM
Did you think to take her to a vet? That would be the first thing I would have done. But your feelings towards cats you express here is commendable.

VanessaB
November 21st, 2010, 11:59 AM
I am so sorry "Hugs" to you

lost
November 21st, 2010, 02:21 PM
Thank you again everyone your support!

The saddest part is, I think the mother left her baby to die alone. I remember seeing a mother cat with 3,4 kittens for a brief moment not far from where I found Carmen. This is cruel. I can't even find words to describe it.

I wasn't able to get any vet help during Carmen's illness. I later found out she died from severe pneumonia. Respiratory problems, not enough oxygen, dehydration, no apatite, discharge from the eyes, runny nose, sneezing, somewhat lethargic.

At some point the discharge from her eyes decreased, she stopped sneezing and I thought she will pull trough, but then she suddenly deteriorated and died, twice. She stopped breathing, her nose was stuffed, I had to open her mouth to take some air, and she pulled trough. She seemed to have shaken this off, five hours later she knew she was dying, her eyes permanently shut, slow breathing, she was dying. I was with her the whole time. She knew I was there, she could hear my voice and she was calm during this dreadful one and half hour of her life.

A little later on, I found she had one or several underlying conditions, because I saw blood in my palm after I rescued her, which she may've sneezed or coughed. After I told a vet what transpired, he said that unfortunately little Carmen had little or no chance to make it.

Would a mother leave her baby-kitten to die alone in the dark and the dirt?

I recall saving Carmen, her meowing could have only been translated as HELP ME! I'M ALONE AND SICK AND SCARED. When she heard me calling, she jumped trough hoops to come as close as possible to me, she found comfort in my voice and although she was afraid of me when I reached her, she immediately relaxed when I took her in my arms and close to my body.

At home, she wouldn't leave my site. I couldn't go to the bathroom, without her looking for me. She absolutely had to be ON me. She would curl up in my lap to sleep. I leave her on the sofa, she would climb on me, I'd leave her next to me, no she absolutely had to be on me. She loved climbing on my shoulder, looking from the top. Even when I leave her on the floor, she would sit on my foot.

I think she was terrified of being alone again. I think she knew she was going and she only wanted to not pass on alone.

I've seen dead cats and kittens, I've seen sick kitties, but I never witnessed a kitten die in my arms. It is heartbreaking. One moment, this tiny bundle of love and joy is in your arms, the next moment you're holding this lifeless body and you realize, your little baby has passed away. I can't find words to describe it.

The only comfort I find in this horrid experience is that I was with Carmen. Left to die alone, I rescued her and loved until her very last breath. I think she knew that, she felt being with someone, she was calm.

I'm still a wreck. I miss her so much.

Yes, I will consider adopting/rescuing an other black kitty. I don't know why they're the last to be adopted, it makes absolutely no difference to me. In fact, black kitties have beautiful green eyes, which I think are captivating and exquisite.

Mere weeks before I saved Carmen from a basement, I rescued this beautiful 5-6 week kitten just outside my window. I thought the kitty was female and named her Silvie, only to find out she was actually a HE, and I named him Silvester. The poor thing was out in the rain, meowing. Usually cats find some shelter when it rains, this little one couldn't manage to find shelter and was crying outside in the cold rain. I took him, gave him a warm bath, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I removed as many fleas as I could and I gave him something to eat, but he refused. Slept for 26 hours straight and when he woke up, he ate like it was the last time. He was healthy and playful and I miss him too. I found him a good home, with a good family where this 11 year girl will love him endlessly. I'm happy to have found Silvester a home.

I will always help animals to the best of my abilities, but dealing with their death is something you barely ever overcome.

I miss my Carmen :cry:

chico2
November 21st, 2010, 05:07 PM
Awww lost,you clearly care a lot and Carmen was a lucky girl you found her.
Mother cats,or actually many other creatures,will leave or not feed a sick offspring,one they know will not survive.

I lost my 14yr old Rocky in September and I still miss him every day,part of your heart goes with them.:(

What you say about black cats is very true,my Chico is a beautiful sleek black boy,a wonderful cuddly sweetheart,he was the last kitten left,that nobody wanted and I just had to take him home,he's now 14 yrs old and the best cat anyone could ever have.

Continue looking for kitties or pups to rescue,you are doing a lot of good,we just need more people like you:grouphug:

Koteburo
November 22nd, 2010, 06:40 AM
God, this post hits me so hard :(
Breaks my heart, can't help shed some tears. I can relate completely. I'm so sorry. Carmen<3
Thank you for rescuing and loving her and other kitties like Silvester.

iamhappy
November 29th, 2010, 07:22 AM
just came back to this post. It's still heart-wrecking. I can imagine my cat, he is 4 and quite old now. He used to have a sister who died young.

Lesson is, never neglect these souls. People may see them as mere pets but to them, we are family. They deserve our utmost time and care above all.

We just had a new addition to the family. A little kitten, barely a week old. Gmall was placed inside a plastic bag and thrown inside our fence. Poor one.

I swear, we will give her that home she needs and that love she deserves.

Carmen was a dear soul. :cry: She has found her place now lost, maybe let's be glad on the thought that she is somewhere where there are lots of them who are now caring for her. :angel:

14+kitties
November 29th, 2010, 08:56 AM
just came back to this post. It's still heart-wrecking. I can imagine my cat, he is 4 and quite old now. He used to have a sister who died young.

:confused: :sorry::offtopic: What do you mean a 4 year old cat is "old"? Hardly. The world record for a cat is 34 years old. Now that cat led a very pampered life as a butcher's kitty so was fed the optimum diet but 4? The average lifespan even in these days of unconcern for a cat's safety is still 14.
A four year old cat is hardly in it's prime. It is still a kitten in many ways. :shrug:
Sorry to go off track. I could not allow this fallacy to go unanswered.

chico2
November 29th, 2010, 05:05 PM
Thank you 14+,you took the words right out of my mouth:cat: