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My Pet 's Death

Angela9
June 21st, 2010, 11:29 AM
I really need some help with my grief. My dog is an Eskimo Spitz. She was 14 yrs. old. I delivered her on Nov. 20, 1995. I have no children, she was my child. When I came in from church last night she had vomited and pooped. I knew what had happened. I picked her up and held her and she took 3 breaths while looking at me. Then her heart stopped. I am truly alone. I don't know how to handle her passing. Any advice from you all on this site? I am lost...

14+kitties
June 21st, 2010, 11:43 AM
Angela - I am truly sorry this is what brought you to Pets. :grouphug: It is always tragic when we loose a pet. It does not matter how long we have had that pet.
At 14 years old I would tend to think your dog passed of old age. What a perfect way to go. In the very arms of the woman who delivered her and loved her for so long. :grouphug:
:candle::rip: sweet pup :candle:

sugarcatmom
June 21st, 2010, 12:30 PM
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're going through this. The loss of a beloved pet can be one of the most heart wrenching experiences we go through. Adding to the pain is the fact that this profound level of grief is not always understood by those who don't share the same special connections we have with our furry friends. Coming to a pet-related site like this one is a good start, but maybe you could also check out a pet loss support group in your area if there are any available. If not, a great website is the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement (http://aplb.org/index.html). They have a chat room on many nights of the week hosted by people with lots of experience in pet loss support. I highly recommend looking into it out and seeing if it's something that could help you get through this. I know when my 17yr old kitty dies, I'm going to need their help.

What was your pup's name? Do you have any photos or stories of her that you would feel comfortable sharing with us?

:grouphug:

BenMax
June 21st, 2010, 12:41 PM
My dear friend you have come to the right forum.

Here at pets we are kind of considered 'different'. Different because an animal to us if far more than just a pet. They are our love, our companions, our hearts. We have all lost a beloved pet, and many of us more than one or two. The grieving process is difficult but what is important is to allow yourself this emotion without feelings of despair. You have loved and lost which is a gift in itself. To cherish is a raw human emotion, and to loose is a feeling of such sorrow that sometimes we never feel that we will recover. But we do through a process. And then there comes the time of calm, where all those wonderful memories flood your heart. And you are greatful to have had the opportunity and the priviledge to have had such a wonderful relationship. You will be ok in time.

I wish you peace. :grouphug:

RIP little angel and take all your memories with you to the bridge.:candle:

binkybuff
June 21st, 2010, 01:16 PM
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved pet. 14 years is a good long time to have and give all the love they can.

I agree, most people do not understand the grieving process on the loss of a pet, I am going through that now myself. Take your time doing it.

take care
binky

Angela9
June 21st, 2010, 03:52 PM
I am so glad I came to this site this morning! I was reading about the Rainbow Bridge Poem the other day. I myself am a published Poet. That poem says it all. I just know she crossed last night as she took her last breath. She was always with me, and I guess not having her curl up beside me is the lonliest feeling I am experiencing. Thank you for your kind words of understanding. I will have to move on, but it is going to take me time. I loved her from the moment I saw her. I do have pictures of Babydoll that comforts me. I am missing my love of life...

BenMax
June 21st, 2010, 04:04 PM
You will be ok in due time. She was with you in the beginning and your comfort in the end. What better way to go then in the loving arms of someone who truly loved you. I hope I am as lucky when it is my time.

Bless your heart. Keep strong and remember that you are not alone.:grouphug:

Winston
June 21st, 2010, 04:06 PM
Angela9 my heart goes out to you! Benmax couldnt have explained the people on this site any better so I wont even try!

When you feel up to it would you be willing to share a photo or two or your babydoll? we would love to see them ! cherish them with you!

Run free to the bridge precious one!

RIP :candle:

Cindy

Frenchy
June 21st, 2010, 04:34 PM
I am so sorry for your loss Angela :( I know how hard it is . Try to only remember the good times with her. :grouphug:

Angela9
June 21st, 2010, 04:37 PM
This is the first pet I have ever lost. Some say to not get another one. Others say get one as soon as possible. Right now I do not know what to feel.

Frenchy
June 21st, 2010, 04:39 PM
This is the first pet I have ever lost. Some say to not get another one. Others say get one as soon as possible. Right now I do not know what to feel.

It's different for every person. Some need to go and adopt right after the loss of a pet. Others take their time. You'll know when you're ready to adopt again. Right now , take your time ... like I said , you'll know when the time is right for you.

Angela9
June 21st, 2010, 04:42 PM
Thank you so much! I don't know if I will ever adopt a pet. Another will ever take her place!

Frenchy
June 21st, 2010, 04:47 PM
Thank you so much! I don't know if I will ever adopt a pet. Another will ever take her place!

oh but don't see it as another pet taking her place ... see it as you giving a family , a second chance (if you choose to adopt from a shelter or rescue) to another dog :)

TeriM
June 21st, 2010, 05:20 PM
Thank you so much! I don't know if I will ever adopt a pet. Another will ever take her place!

I love this little quote taken from a "last will & testament of a dog"

One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, ‘When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one.’ Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog!

I am so sorry for your loss :grouphug:.

Angela9
June 21st, 2010, 05:46 PM
This brought more tears to my eyes. I can hear Babydoll saying that. If she could she would tell those pets to go home with me, because she will love you deeply and take care of you like no other. I treated Babydoll like she was the child that I could not have. I think God created pets for women like me that is childless. She was my beautiful girl! Thank you for your words..

BenMax
June 22nd, 2010, 11:21 AM
Animals are here because they have unconditional love. They are on this earth to teach us about compassion and respect, it is not the other way around...I truly believe this.

I always say I have been so fortunate to have loved. Whether that is a dog, cat or another human...I am so happy I was given this capability to feel this. Though I have gone through many deaths, I am grateful that I was chosen by my pets to cherish them to the end. Even with the pain - I never forget the devotion I felt, and I will always have animals to lighten my heart and world.

Take your time, and do what is right for you. I wish you strength.

mastifflover
June 22nd, 2010, 11:47 AM
I am so sorry for the loss or you dog. We all know how hard it is they are not just a pet they are family. It sounds like she waited for you to come home both for her and you. It will take time but you will probably adopt again but you will know when the time is right. Sometimes it is a long time other times it will happen sooner than you thought it could. After Buddy passed I thought it would be a long time but Clark came into my life a lot sooner than I thought I would be able to adopt. He really made me feel better filling the house with snorts and grunts. We are all here so feel free to voice your feelings

Floppy Dog
June 22nd, 2010, 01:23 PM
You have my prayers. I've lost 2 dogs in my childhood, both before I was 8 years old. I've had to put down 2 cats in my adult life, one from kidney failure at 13 and one from old age at 17. I couldn't go to work for 2 days from crying and I wasn't a very nice person for the rest of the week, that's for sure. My dog and cat now don't replace the pets I've lost, they add to the pets I've loved.

My coping mechanism, for what it's worth, is stuffed animals. I'm a cuddler so when I loose a pet, I go out and buy a good quality stuffed animal resembling my pet. I also found that talking to my friends about my pet helped a lot. I was able to relive all of the funny and happy moments. Now, when I think about my pets, I smile and their memories make me happy.:grouphug:

BenMax
June 22nd, 2010, 01:25 PM
You have my prayers. I've lost 2 dogs in my childhood, both before I was 8 years old. I've had to put down 2 cats in my adult life, one from kidney failure at 13 and one from old age at 17. I couldn't go to work for 2 days from crying and I wasn't a very nice person for the rest of the week, that's for sure. My dog and cat now don't replace the pets I've lost, they add to the pets I've loved.

My coping mechanism, for what it's worth, is stuffed animals. I'm a cuddler so when I loose a pet, I go out and buy a good quality stuffed animal resembling my pet. I also found that talking to my friends about my pet helped a lot. I was able to relive all of the funny and happy moments. Now, when I think about my pets, I smile and their memories make me happy.:grouphug:

So well written and how comforting your words are.:cry:

Floppy Dog
June 22nd, 2010, 06:53 PM
So well written and how comforting your words are.:cry:

Thanks, BenMax. That's real praise coming from you. I hope they help Angela.

Angela9
June 22nd, 2010, 07:41 PM
I have made it through this day. Having my Babydoll's grave right where I can see it is helping some. I just cooked hamburgers, and it was so sad because she would expect a bite. I am sure on the other side of the bridge she is being well fed. She loved to eat! I am really leaning on you guys for support. This is tougher than I could have ever imagined. Thank you for your words of comfort...

14+kitties
June 22nd, 2010, 08:35 PM
Just a small poem I found..........

TO ONE IN SORROW

Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours,
Can understand.
Let me come in -- I would be very still
Beside you in your grief,
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief.
Let me come in -- I would only breathe a prayer,
And hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours,
And understand.

Author: Grace Noll Crowell

We do understand. We have been through it. Some of us quite recently. We are here. :grouphug:

lindapalm
June 22nd, 2010, 09:35 PM
It is so hard in the beginning after losing a pet, you see them in all their favorite spots, and can almost hear them barking when you come home. We have a pet cemetary in our back yard with stones with the animals names on them, the most recent loss in February. We are moving in two months, and I'm having a hard time leaving them behind. Perhaps when you feel better you would consider adopting a kitten, instead of a dog. You gave your dog a really good life, when the time is right, please consider doing it again and rescuing an animal from a shelter.

Floppy Dog
June 23rd, 2010, 12:15 PM
Just sending you my thoughts and prayers today. Drove to work in the sunshine, hoping that it was shining on you too.:candle:

eturner
July 5th, 2010, 09:31 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. When our Giant Schnauzer male passed a year and a half ago, it was utterly devastating. I contacted a pet bereavement group in my community and that helped tremendously.
I was fortunate that we also have a female Giant and a little male mini Schnauzer or it would have been even more paralysing.
In time I hope that you will consider allowing another who needs you into your home and heart, not to replace your baby but to fill a need shared by the two of you.
It doesn't feel like it now but in time, the good memories won't be tinged with so much sadness... I wish you Godspeed to that place!

eturner
July 5th, 2010, 09:38 AM
I have made it through this day. Having my Babydoll's grave right where I can see it is helping some. I just cooked hamburgers, and it was so sad because she would expect a bite. I am sure on the other side of the bridge she is being well fed. She loved to eat! I am really leaning on you guys for support. This is tougher than I could have ever imagined. Thank you for your words of comfort...

I'm so glad that you are sharing this pain Angela, only when you have truly loved can you feel this kind of loss, it's a trade-off that is well worth it!

Here is something that I wrote when we lost our Giant Schnauzer boy a year and a half ago. Writing about it helped me, maybe it could help you too.

As I Should... For Tanner

I sob now, as I should,
As I hold you one last time.
Black fur against my face,
Breathless, a nose no longer wet.
The words I love you land on now deaf ears.
My pet.

I cry now, as I should,
As I put away your things.
The collar with your name,
The leash that brought such joy.
The dish, the quilt, and hardest still, an old stuffed bear.
Your toy.

I forget now, as I should,
On the first day, when I wake.
Stepping over the spot where you should be.
Empty space beside the bed.
This uncertain day must yet be faced.
My dread.

I ache now, as I should,
For the change in daily life.
Stillness yet unflinching, quiet so unkind.
The respites come but they are brief.
Until I hear a bark, or see another walk their dog.
New grief.

I smile now, as I should,
When I think of moments past.
The not quite perfect antics.
Stealing food, the wetness of a sloppy kiss.
Shredded tissue, messy beard, weight pressed against my leg.
I miss.

I think back now, as I should,
Through all the days we shared.
Loyalty in earnest, valor, beauty, grace.
The embodiement of what we humans should but don't hold dear.
And yet I feel you whisper, in the hardest moments still.
I'm Here.

Goldfields
July 5th, 2010, 11:28 AM
What a truly beautiful tribute to your Tanner, eterner. Must admit it made me shed fresh tears for the shelties we've lost this year. Loved that poem you found too, 14+. We all know how hard it is, Angela9, with the loss of one dog I cried every day for a week, and another I grieved for her for years, missing her so much, but at some stage you start remembering them with a smile insdtead of tears, laughing about the joy they bought into your life. No pet will ever replace Babydoll but you've so much love in you to have looked after her so well all those years, you'll make a wonderful mum again to some lucky dog or cat.

catlover2
July 5th, 2010, 12:37 PM
Angela9, So sorry for your loss, it takes time to grieve so give yourself that time to remember the wonderful times you did have with your devoted Eskie, and some day you will be ready to give your love again to another dog or cat. I truly believe that we will some day be reunited with our past pets.

"Heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my pets are there to welcome me." ~ Anonymous