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I may need a support group

January 17th, 2010, 05:38 PM
I had to make an appointment to have my cat Bear who is 16 put to sleep this thursday. I am affraid that it will take all i can do to get to that appointment. She has been going down hill for a while now. She barely eats, and the only thing she will eat is her snacks, nothing else. She sleeps 23 hours a day, and has trouble moving around. I had hoped she would go peacefully in her sleep, but it hasnt happen. :( I know its the right thing to do, but i still have problems with the putting her to sleep part. I feel like a killer, i cant get over that, i wish i could. :cry:
This is bear from last spring when she was more her self. :(

January 17th, 2010, 05:55 PM
So sorry to hear that you've had to make this difficult decision for your beloved Bear. :grouphug: It's not an easy one, but it really sounds like you've decided to offer her a loving and gentle release from what's ailing her...:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

January 17th, 2010, 06:13 PM
Aw. edwina, I'm so sorry to hear about Bear. :grouphug:

You certainly are not a killer are doing the final act of kindness and helping her across the bridge. :candle:

January 17th, 2010, 07:37 PM
Being with her at the end to ease her passage to the bridge is the best gift you can give her, Edwina. :grouphug: It's a difficult decision and very hard on her human caretaker, but it truly will be a sweet release for her. So no guilt, okay, hon? :2huggers:

Stay strong! :grouphug: We're here if you need us.

You're both in my thoughts and prayers.


January 17th, 2010, 08:00 PM
I recently had to euthanize my dog, and I did feel like a killer - that I had given up on her. In my case it was an emergency visit that ended with her euthanization, and in a way I think that's easier because I didn't have time to think about it until after. I think Myka appreciated that I was able to keep myself cheery through the procedure (she may have seen through my bluff), and just give her nice strokes as she went.

One thing that has really helped me is to really become aware (even though it's obvious) that a pet's life span is shorter than ours, and that's just the way it is. I have recently come across a story that when a few adults were speaking about how a dog's life span is shorter than humans (after they had euthanized their dog), and the 4 year old boy piped up that he knew why. He said, "Everybody is born so they can learn how to live a good life - like loving everybody and being nice, right? Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

It's hard to accept when they are gone, but you have to remember that you provided the best life to your special cat. Remember the good times, and cherish them this week instead of dwelling on the departure.

Tig's mom
January 17th, 2010, 08:59 PM
I am so sorry for the pain, and guilt you are faced with. You are doing this out of the genuine love you have for your sweet kitty.
I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.:pray:
Mona, (Tig's mom)

January 17th, 2010, 09:34 PM
Sorry to hear Bear is not doing well :grouphug: Has she seen a vet recently for the lack of appetite, lethargy etc? Any recent bloodwork? She looked fairly spry in the pic. :goodvibes:

January 17th, 2010, 09:45 PM
Oh, another thing that really helped me was what my mom said to do. She said to write myself a note that makes me feel better about the decision to euthanize and tape it to the photo of Myka that I had set out on the table (along with a mini shrine). My note simply says, "For Myka." It reminds me that I chose euthanasia for her. I could have been selfish and put her through a battery of tests and surgeries, but along with her age her symptoms were grave, so I chose the best option for her. You just need to keep reminding yourself. It is a tough decision, and you wouldn't make it if you didn't think it was in her best interest. Give her lots of strokes and kisses. :)

My Lodi Girl
January 17th, 2010, 11:07 PM
I am so sorry! Remember that you won't be killing Bear, you will be releasing her. It is a terribly hard decision to make but we do it out of love for our babies. It is the last gift we give them. I will be thinking of you and Bear. :grouphug:

January 17th, 2010, 11:35 PM
Edwina, I don't know what to say to ease the pain for you, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, Bear too of course.
I've been there, it's very difficult, and we will all be here for you before and after....I am so sorry you have to go thru this.
~hugs to you Edwina, and to Bear too.

January 18th, 2010, 06:52 AM
Oh Edwina, I know how hard these decisions are :grouphug: and I certainly don't envy you.

Perhaps before you make that final one, take growlers advice and get a full blood panel done just in case there is something that can be done to extend her life by a year or two.

Dog Dancer
January 18th, 2010, 02:50 PM
It's one of the hardest things we have to do as caregivers for our furbabies, but also one of the kindest we can do. We would not want our loved ones to suffer and we certainly don't want our furry loved ones to suffer. If you've made the appointment already you know in your heart it's the right thing to do. I agree with the others if you're in doubt do a blood panel, it may give you some peace of mind. Trust your heart, it won't lead you wrong in this decision. We love them so much for such a short time, it's just not fair. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

January 18th, 2010, 02:55 PM
:grouphug: We're here for you.

January 18th, 2010, 05:52 PM
Sorry to hear Bear is not doing well :grouphug: Has she seen a vet recently for the lack of appetite, lethargy etc? Any recent bloodwork? She looked fairly spry in the pic. :goodvibes:

She has a large inoperable tumor on her stomach. :(

January 18th, 2010, 06:35 PM
:grouphug: Edwina, my heart goes out to you.

January 18th, 2010, 07:47 PM
Edwina, please don't think of yourself as a killer. :(

For Bear to be around for 16 years, you must have did EVERYTHING right and you have the biggest support group you could possible find. :grouphug: :grouphug:

January 18th, 2010, 07:51 PM
I only have one advice : take her to your vet and ask for his / her opinion. Waiting for her to pass in her sleep is not always the best thing to do.When they suffer , you have to be the one to say , it's enough , we have to let them go .... you know ?

I'm sorry you're going through this , but there is a wonderful support group here for you :grouphug:

January 18th, 2010, 08:21 PM
Edwina, making a decision like that is not easy. I'm sorry you are having to make a decision like this.


January 18th, 2010, 10:30 PM
She has a large inoperable tumor on her stomach. :(

Edwina I'm sorry to hear this, I was not aware of it :grouphug:

Your decision is not that of a killer but a compassionate caregiver :goodvibes:

January 19th, 2010, 08:24 AM
She has a large inoperable tumor on her stomach. :(

Oh, no :cry: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Please don't feel guilty abou this. You are doing the right thing by her by allowing her to pass into a pain free world.

January 19th, 2010, 08:35 AM
Sorry you had to make that hard decision to help's always hard to let go of the ones we love.even when it's the right compassionate thing to do.

January 19th, 2010, 05:53 PM
I so understand how much pain you're in right now. I've had to make the decision you now face twice in my life, and it's gut-wrenching.

The way I coped with it was by knowing, in my gut, that putting them to sleep was a profoundly loving act. I know of people who put off the decision for so long, and as a consequence their pet suffered so much longer than was necessary.

Please know that you are doing the most loving, selfless act that you could ever do for your little loved one. It doesn't lessen the pain, but may somehow give you a small measure of peace.

thinking of you :candle:


Golden Girls
January 20th, 2010, 07:33 AM
I'm sorry your going through this :( so heartbreaking :2huggers:

January 21st, 2010, 02:29 AM
You are in my thoughts today, Edwina. :grouphug: :candle:

January 21st, 2010, 05:07 AM
Thinking of you and Bear today! :candle:

January 21st, 2010, 06:30 AM
Thinking about you today. Be strong.

January 21st, 2010, 06:52 AM
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to you today, edwina.

January 21st, 2010, 09:35 AM
:2huggers: Hang in there, Edwina. Thinking of you :grouphug:

January 21st, 2010, 11:20 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bear today. :grouphug:

January 22nd, 2010, 09:56 AM
Well i put Bear to sleep yesterday. :( I cryed going there, during the procedure, and all the way home. :cry: I was holding her when she passed away. :cry:
It is going to take quite awhile to get this out of my head. :( But at least she isnt suffering anymore. I am going to burry her today.
:rip: Bear :(

January 22nd, 2010, 09:59 AM
She felt your love and took it with her as she passed over--what a wonderful gift you gave her, edwina! :grouphug:

She was weary and the angels called her home. Now she's your guardian :angel:

:candle: Bear

January 22nd, 2010, 10:09 AM
:cry::grouphug:. I feel so bad for you. I know how hard this must have been, but Bear is now in a better place and the transition was made so much easier on her by having you holding her. :grouphug:

January 22nd, 2010, 10:24 AM
:grouphug:I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Rest assured, she left this world, knowing what it meant to be truly loved.

January 22nd, 2010, 11:53 AM
Bear knew that you loved her and being by her side to help her over the bridge was the final act of kindness. :grouphug:

:rip: Sweet Bear :candle:

January 22nd, 2010, 05:43 PM
Bear is lucky she was able to find you. Remember all the good times.

January 22nd, 2010, 06:07 PM
I am so sorry for your loss :grouphug: you made the right choice , now Bear is free of pain and playing with friends at rainbow bridge.

:rip: little Bear

January 22nd, 2010, 06:18 PM
I did that too--cried my eyes out. When I left the house in the days following my Abbey's death, I always said goodbye to her (as I did when she was alive).

It does get easier. I began a memory book of her, and I also brought my treasures of her--her collar, a lock of her hair, a favourite picture, and a poem that described my life with her--and had a local photography studio framed it all into a shadow box. It was a process that really helped me, and the shadow box is beautiful and hanging on my wall in the front room.

January 22nd, 2010, 09:44 PM
:candle::rip: Bear :candle:
:grouphug: Edwina. I know it is the hardest thing you have to do. :(Many of us have been through it. We are here for you.

January 22nd, 2010, 10:48 PM
:rip: sweet :angel2: Bear :candle: She is playing at the Rainbow Bridge ( with those who've gone before :candle:


January 23rd, 2010, 03:41 PM
Rest in peace Bear, :candle:
Edwina, my heart goes out to you, Bear was blessed by having such a loving, devoted "mama".

Tig's mom
January 23rd, 2010, 04:21 PM
RIP sweet Bear,:candle:
May the love you shared, and your memories of your beloved Bear be of comfort to you Edwina. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

January 23rd, 2010, 06:03 PM
Thanks guys for the support, i need it. :grouphug:
I had her for 16 years , its hard not having her around anymore. :(
I just hope she forgives me. :cry:

January 23rd, 2010, 07:14 PM
I don't think you have to worry about forgiveness when you did something for her. Forgiveness would imply you did something against her, and that certainly isn't the case. She thanks you for a great life, and an easier transition into the next. When an animal is at their end, the final gift you can give them is eternal rest.

January 23rd, 2010, 07:31 PM
Thanks guys for the support, i need it. :grouphug:
I had her for 16 years , its hard not having her around anymore. :(
I just hope she forgives me. :cry:

She does, edwina, she certainly does. You have given her peace and the most selfless gift. :cry: :grouphug:

Tig's mom
January 23rd, 2010, 07:46 PM
Thanks guys for the support, i need it. :grouphug:
I had her for 16 years , its hard not having her around anymore. :(
I just hope she forgives me. :cry:

You loved Bear with all of your heart, and Bear loved you right back, and she does forgive you.
Even though she couldn't tell you that she needed you to do what is
the hardest, and most genuine acts of love and kindness you could have done for her.

January 23rd, 2010, 09:30 PM
:grouphug::grouphug: Stay strong. Bear would want that.

January 23rd, 2010, 09:52 PM
and she's hoping you forgive her for having to leave you. *huge hugs* rest easy knowing she felt/feels your love for her.

January 23rd, 2010, 11:12 PM
Edwina...I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

It was not an act of selfishness but an act of love.

She is comfortable and at peace now and so must you.

Thoughts and prayers Edwina--be strong.

:rip: Sweet Bear :candle::candle:

January 24th, 2010, 12:25 AM
edwina so sorry for your lost. you did it for her because she was in pain. and being with her was the best thing you could do for her. it is the hardest thing for pet owners to do but remember all your happy moments it will help with the pain.

:grouphug: to you

January 28th, 2010, 06:21 PM
Edwina, I'm so sorry you lost your beloved Bear.:grouphug: It is so very hard to let go. I had to make that very painful decision last year. Bear left this world knowing she was very much loved and she is now in a better place, free from pain.

:candle: Run free, sweet :angel2: Bear :cat: :candle:

"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." -------Mark Twain
"The animals share with us the privilege of having a soul." -------Pythagoras
"The soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different." -------Hippocrates