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my heart is breaking

snowflake1
January 5th, 2010, 08:19 AM
My husband and I have decided to put our 10yr old cat to sleep this friday. She has mammory cancer and we know she is not going to get better. She has been eating less, sleeping more, having problems jumping on furnture that use to be super easy. just not herself anymore.
But then some times I will see the kitty she use to be. My heart is breaking.. I don't want to lose her. I don't want her to suffer but at the same time I so afraid of letting her go to early.

My world is crashing down on me :( :cat::sad:

quincymycat
January 5th, 2010, 08:38 AM
Snowflake1, I am so sorry, I know what a difficult decision it is to make. I know how it is to see hope...everytime your baby seems to be her old self for a bit and you see the shadow of what was, and also see that poor soul she has now become. We want to see the hope and the good, always praying for that little chance....but I am sure you have thought long and hard and only you know what is the best thing for her.
I am sending my best thoughts and wishes your way. Strength.
:sorry:

Love4himies
January 5th, 2010, 08:40 AM
I am so sorry, snowflake :cry: :grouphug: I know how hard it is to loose a love one. Please take peace in knowing your kitty is now pain free. :grouphug:

catlover2
January 5th, 2010, 09:17 AM
Always such a difficult decision I know. Been there, done that, felt guilty it was too soon, felt guilty because I let one go on too long and suffer because I couldn't let go---to me that was worse. Give her as much loving as she wants, all her favourite foods for her last few days. I really believe that no love is ever lost whether between people or pets, and that we may meet them again. :pray:

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my pets are there to welcome me." ~ Unknown.

hazelrunpack
January 5th, 2010, 07:41 PM
I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult time :grouphug: You can only do the best you can, snowflake. If you make your decision out of love for your kitty, you can't go wrong.

Meanwhile, try to stay upbeat and cherish the time you have left with her. She'll pick up on your feelings, so try to stay strong. Love her with all your heart, and at the end send her on with that love.

It's the best gift you can give your little girl. :2huggers:

:candle:

snowflake1
January 6th, 2010, 08:13 AM
thank you all for your kind words. It means alot! Everytime I see her do something like her old self, I just want to stop everything. Then my husband who is the voice of reason for me right now, just keeps on saying is it best for her, tells me to think of her. She is sick and not getting better.

I feel so guilty, I wish I turn back time and make her not sick. But I believe everything happens for a reason, but it doesn't make this any easier.

Thank you all for listening to me :):cry:

quincymycat
January 6th, 2010, 08:23 AM
Snowflake, I always was the one who needed that voice of reason too. I am keeping you and your baby in my thoughts. :grouphug:

Love4himies
January 6th, 2010, 08:24 AM
thank you all for your kind words. It means alot! Everytime I see her do something like her old self, I just want to stop everything. Then my husband who is the voice of reason for me right now, just keeps on saying is it best for her, tells me to think of her. She is sick and not getting better.

I feel so guilty, I wish I turn back time and make her not sick. But I believe everything happens for a reason, but it doesn't make this any easier.

Thank you all for listening to me :):cry:

Awwww, Snowflake :grouphug:. I know it hurts so bad right now, but in time the pain does lessen. Don't feel guilty, you did what was best for your cat.

erykah1310
January 6th, 2010, 08:29 AM
I'm so sorry for your pain and I understand the hope that things will be fine, the descision to let our furry loved ones go is never easy and the pain stays for a long time. Just know you did the best for her and she had a wonderful life surrounded by people who loved her.
The hardest part of loving and having animals is knowing when its best for them to be set free of their pain and discomfort.
Hang in there, and try to enjoy the next couple of days with her.
There is an amazing support system here on pets.ca who at any hour of the day or night will be there if you need them.
My heart breaks for you and your family, but I smile through it knowing that a great kitty had a wonderful life with loving people.
Sending thoughts and prayers your way

Love4himies
January 6th, 2010, 08:31 AM
Sorry Snowflake, I thought you had put your kitty to sleep last Friday, not next Friday. :grouphug:

BenMax
January 6th, 2010, 09:03 AM
My heart aches for you. I understand as all of us here do share your pain.

I wish you strength and Peace.:grouphug:

rjesak
January 6th, 2010, 11:47 AM
I'm so sorry Snowflake. Last time I had to put a cat to sleep, I spent the day in the kitchen with her on the counter, let her eat the butter, and cried into the food. It was good quality time though. When it's time, it's time. It's hard and it sucks but we have to do it. Just enjoy your remaining time with her and know she'll become your little guardian angel (at least that's what I think). :-)

Good luck. :grouphug:

snowflake1
January 7th, 2010, 02:47 PM
So my cat seems to me to be getting better. I know she isn't, but she is cuddling with me more, eating. But where her cancer/lump is, it has ulcerated. It is pretty bad, and very stinky like rotting flesh. From what I read online, that is one of the things that can happen with this cancer. I talked to my vet today and she said that if we didn't put her to sleep tomorrow. We will not be giving her month, we will only be extending her life by days, if we are lucky weeks. I don't want her to suffer. I really wish cats could talk so I can hear her say, Hey I am sick and I hurt.

The vet also said that cats tend to try to ignore pain, so she may not let me know that she really sick and that many cats will cont. to eat right until the end. Is that true?

Sorry for whinning so much on here. But I am so afraid of making the wrong decision.

quincymycat
January 7th, 2010, 02:59 PM
So my cat seems to me to be getting better. I know she isn't, but she is cuddling with me more, eating. But where her cancer/lump is, it has ulcerated. It is pretty bad, and very stinky like rotting flesh. From what I read online, that is one of the things that can happen with this cancer. I talked to my vet today and she said that if we didn't put her to sleep tomorrow. We will not be giving her month, we will only be extending her life by days, if we are lucky weeks. I don't want her to suffer. I really wish cats could talk so I can hear her say, Hey I am sick and I hurt.

The vet also said that cats tend to try to ignore pain, so she may not let me know that she really sick and that many cats will cont. to eat right until the end. Is that true?

Sorry for whinning so much on here. But I am so afraid of making the wrong decision.

You are NOT whining, you are grieving. I think you know what you want to hear, but I cannot say that.
Cats are incredibly good at hiding pain..it is a defense mechanisim so they don't look weak.
Have you looked her in the eyes? I know that with some of my kitties, that is how I finally knew...she likely is telling you, you don't want to hear.
I know how hard this is for you..I have no doubt that almost everyone here knows how hard it is for you.
It is your decision because she cannot just tell you. I feel so much for you and I am afraid for you and afraid for me knowing that there will come a day soon, I will be making that decision.
Listen to your baby and listen to your heart and listen to your vet.
My prayers and thoughts continue with you and your sweetheart. :grouphug: :pray: :cry2:

hazelrunpack
January 7th, 2010, 03:30 PM
It's such a tough decision to make :grouphug:, but you can only do the best you can and hope you're somewhere close to the perfect timing.

qmc's advice is as good as it gets:
Listen to your baby and listen to your heart and listen to your vet.


Oh, my heart aches for you, snowflake1! :grouphug: I, too, will be thinking of you and including you in my prayers.

snowflake1
January 7th, 2010, 04:33 PM
You are all right. I do feel that it is time. Like my sister said, if it was a human and had the choice what would I do. I wouldn't let them suffer. I don't want to do that to hurt her.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. I am going to cherish my last day/night with her and cuddle her all night. :)

Love4himies
January 7th, 2010, 05:34 PM
:cry: :grouphug:

Dee-O-Gee
January 7th, 2010, 05:48 PM
I know your pain Snowflake1. Exactly 1 year ago tomorrow, we had to do the same with our 14 Y.O. Golden.

It is a very painful decision to make and you want to do what's best/right. The last thing we ever wanted was to be selfish and knew the time had come.

My heart goes out to you and your family Snowflake1. :grouphug:

cpietra16
January 7th, 2010, 07:25 PM
I feel your sorrow, pain, and hesitation...I have been thru it...its never easy. I am sorry...:sad:

mikischo
January 7th, 2010, 07:49 PM
I too, understand what you are going through. I had to let go of my kitty almost 8 months ago. It is never easy. I still think of him every day. It is hard not to second guess yourself. I still do, even though when I look at the situation realistically, I know it was the most loving thing I could do for him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your kitty tonight.:grouphug:

Love4himies
January 8th, 2010, 07:13 AM
Lots and lots of :grouphug: for you today, I will be thinking of you.

quincymycat
January 8th, 2010, 07:33 AM
I just came to say the same thing as L4H.
You will be close to my thoughts this day too, Snowflake1. :pray: :grouphug:

snowflake1
January 8th, 2010, 04:43 PM
Thank you all. You are very kind. I know my chewbacca is pain free and itwas the best thing for her. I didn't think I would be able to stay with her will they put her to sleep. But as soon as I got to vet clinic I knew I couldn't leave her.

I am not a religious person by any means but I know one day I will meet her on the rainbow bridge. I look forward to that day when I can be with her again
Good bye chewie, know that we love you!

quincymycat
January 8th, 2010, 05:26 PM
Snowflake, you do not have to be religious to believe that you will be reunited with Chewie one day. I am sorry for what you had to go through, but I am happy you decided to stay with her until the end. I am sure she knew you were there with her and was comforted by your presence.
I am not a chuch going religious person either, but my spirit tells me there is a place we will all be together and I hope it to be a wonderful time for everyone. pain free and happy.
You are a wonderful person to release her. :rip: Chewie, till you are together again. :sorry: :candle: :grouphug:

mikischo
January 8th, 2010, 07:45 PM
:candle: Run free, sweet :angel2: Chewie :cat: :candle: until you meet with your loved ones again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." -------Mark Twain
"The animals share with us the privilege of having a soul." -------Pythagoras
"The soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different." -------Hippocrates

Tig's mom
January 8th, 2010, 08:06 PM
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Chewie.:sorry:
My heart goes out to you, and your family. I also believe
that you will meet again. I lost my Ginger to Cancer about 6 moths ago,
it seems so unfair.:cry:
hugs to you,
Mona /AKA Tig's mom & Tiger <^..^>

hazelrunpack
January 8th, 2010, 08:15 PM
:grouphug: It was a wonderful gift you gave her, staying with her right to the end, snowflake. Your love eased her passing, never doubt that.

:candle: Chewie

budgrrl
January 8th, 2010, 08:54 PM
my thoughts and heart goes out to you! :grouphug:

rainbow
January 9th, 2010, 01:50 AM
Helping a beloved pet over the bridge is the hardest thing for us to do :grouphug: ......my sincere condolences to you for your loss. :grouphug: :candle:

Winston
January 9th, 2010, 07:06 AM
Run free to the bridge little one! :candle:

I am so sorry for your loss! Can I just say you did a wonderful thing by being with CHewie till the end!

:rip::cat: