November 21st, 2009, 08:44 PM
I wrote a long while ago about how long should you keep your foster before you should adopt him rather than move them around again. I have had my foster for 1 year and 9 months. I figure he has so many phobia's nobody will adopt him and life goes on we deal with it and love him anyway. Two days ago we get an application for him and it's a good app. except for it would be a first dog for them since their child hood 25 years ago. The boy I have is Thunder phobic and noise phobic and vacuum phobic and lawn mower phobic. He is other wise a sweet non aggressive boy rather submissive. When I read the app. I started to cry (which is what any foster mom would do in this situation) and wondered if I should even let him go. I have 3 dogs of my own, one being epileptic and then my phobic foster. What do you all think you would do keep him or let him have a new home after all this time?? I have fostered before but never had one for this long with so many issues? It is quite possible they wouldn't be able to deal with his phobia's after some time and return him anyway, which would mess him up even more??? Any advice would be appreciated.
November 21st, 2009, 11:06 PM
"How long" when it comes to fosters is a pretty subjective and difficult question to answer. Have you been able to work on his fears? Is the interested family willing to continue to work towards helping him deal with them? Does he have anxiety-type attacks? Has the family had a chance to witness this? How are they willing to work with him? Have they considered getting professional help?
There are so many questions you need to have answered before you can find an answer to yours.
Personally, after such a long period of time, I'd end up adopting the foster, especially if he/she fits in very well with our family. Is there a reason why you haven't already adopted him?
If you, the rescue, and the interested family do decide that adoption would be best for him, I'd strongly suggest you make the transition as easy and as smooth as possible for all involved. Plenty of home visits, both yours and theirs. Perhaps setting up training classes in advance to aid with the bonding process would be a good idea as well.
November 22nd, 2009, 08:13 AM
If I let him go he would definately need a slow transition into a different home, the only reason I am even considering letting him go is because of our 3 dog limit rules. I have been thinking about this all night long, and thought maybe if I meet with the people it would give me a better feel on this, and then I could just say that I didn't think it was in his best interest and keep him as a permanent foster?? Technically he would be mine but at least that way it would be legal, I would adopt him from the rescue but leave it to others that he is my foster still??
November 22nd, 2009, 09:45 AM
Just a thought--we had a two-dog limit rule when we lived in Eau Claire, so when we got Cole (our third), we registered him with my in-laws, who also lived in EC. He was just always 'visiting' at our house :o
Anyway, if you have a close friend or relative in town who would be willing to claim one of your dogs was 'on loan' from them if necessary...? :shrug:
November 22nd, 2009, 02:54 PM
that might be a good idea,
November 22nd, 2009, 02:58 PM
Not laughing at you. Just thinking if it were me I would have been a foster failure about one year, six months ago!!! :o Kudos to you for hanging in with him and giving him a good life. :highfive:
I would go with hazel's idea. There are usually ways of getting around the "rules" as long as it's not overboard. I prefer to think of them as "guidelines". :D
November 22nd, 2009, 03:54 PM
I think that's very true the rules can be broken within reason, plus if I had any more my husband would kill me. But in the best interest of my foster it would be best if he stayed with us, he has come such a long way since we got him. He
has many more things to adjust to, and I know just the person who can do it!
thanks, everyone for your imput!
November 22nd, 2009, 04:19 PM
I usually end up being a foster failure after 2 weeks :laughing: I can't let them go, lol. Your boy sounds like he is doing great with you, perhaps he should be a permenent foster? We used to do that for foster families who wanted to adopt but it would infringe on the bylaws (perm. fosters are not completely adopted, therefore do not count towards the limit). At one point I had about 7 perm. fosters with us :D
November 22nd, 2009, 04:23 PM
I have fostered before but never had one for this long with so many issues?
I wouldn't call them issues , your foster is afraid of loud noises , like many many other dogs.
This would be your call , I know I would have adopted him myself a long time ago if he was my foster :p My "max" is about 4 months.
November 22nd, 2009, 07:40 PM
I guess what I was trying to say is I have had him for so long, I didn't worry about adopting him he was already with me with no applications. No worries. Until someone finally applied for him, that's when it hit me that I really couldn't see letting him go after all this time. As far his issues this isn't just scared of noise this is trying to go through a front window to get away, or clawing through a wooden door to get safe. Best one yet was trying to get behind a computer desk that only had 4 inches to squeeze into, this guy doesn't just find look for a safe spot he'll make his own hole in a wall!! When I say attack a vacuum I mean pickup the beater bar and all while it is on!! Same with a lawn mower, obviously now we just put him in another room, but I never had to deal with this before, and I've fostered many times. We have worked long and hard with him and have him on medications plus work with everyday with his fear and he's come along way, I just didn't expect anyone to take him away, so I didn't adopt him. I have paid for his food, medications and additional vet costs to help him, the only thing I didn't do was adopt him right away, in the beginning he was my foster.