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How the Canadian Economy Works

November 14th, 2009, 02:17 AM
Sometime this year, us Canadian taxpayers may receive an Economic Stimulus payment. :rolleyes:

This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Yes, but only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .

2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

3. If you purchase a computer, it will again go China or else to India.

4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to the USA, Mexico, Honduras, Chile, California and Guatemala.

5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or South Korea.

6. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

7. If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in Canada by:

1. Spending it at yard sales.

2. Going to ball games.

3. Spending it on ladies of the evening.

4. Beer.

5. Tattoos.

6. Wacky Tobacky.

7. Other mind altering drugs.

These are the only Canadian owned businesses still operating in Canada.

November 14th, 2009, 02:19 AM

November 14th, 2009, 04:36 AM
:laughing::laughing: So true.

November 14th, 2009, 03:37 PM
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

November 16th, 2009, 01:59 PM

Now on a more serious note....."What economic stimulus payment?" I haven't heard about it!
I do have my receipts for the reno's, hopefully I'll get some of that back, or is that the same stimulus payment you are talking about?

I will be spending mine (should I get one), at my stylist's salon....and then should there be anything left over well......maybe a Tim Horton's X-large double double.....prefer Starbucks but that's American:)