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why you fale english

free
July 2nd, 2009, 12:42 PM
This is why I speak funny and you no understan-a my English!!!



And we wonder why people have trouble learning the English language -- even
those of us have it as our first language!!!

Read all the way to the end.............. This took a lot of work to put
together!!!


You think English is easy??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham
in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and
hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this:

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is the word 'UP..'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,
but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,
so......it is time to shut UP!

Oh . . . one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you
do at night? U-P!





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BenMax
July 2nd, 2009, 12:51 PM
I never really thought of it this way...ok Frenchy - you are forgiven!!!:laughing::laughing::laughing: (hopefully she will not be able to read this thread...merci beaucoup!)

Love4himies
July 2nd, 2009, 01:17 PM
I never really thought of it this way...ok Frenchy - you are forgiven!!!:laughing::laughing::laughing: (hopefully she will not be able to read this thread...merci beaucoup!)

:laughing::laughing::laughing:

Thanks for sharing that, Free, I never really thought about the English language being so difficult.

Mat&Murph
July 2nd, 2009, 01:30 PM
I am english born but when I was studing french in school I realized how hard the english language must be to learn. With words that spell the same with different meanings or words That sound the same but spelled different. Heck Even I get mixed up!! :laughing:

Jim Hall
July 2nd, 2009, 01:48 PM
thats because english or to be more precise american eng is a bstard language taken from everywhere

onster
July 2nd, 2009, 05:04 PM
I never really thought of it this way...ok Frenchy - you are forgiven!!!:laughing::laughing::laughing: (hopefully she will not be able to read this thread...merci beaucoup!)

LOOOL

thanks for the laugh free :thumbs up

Dee-O-Gee
July 2nd, 2009, 10:00 PM
Here's another English language test. This is amazing. :D:D:D

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Chaser
July 2nd, 2009, 10:15 PM
Here's another English language test. This is amazing. :D:D:D

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

I'd be interested to know if people with English as a second language could do this?

14+kitties
July 2nd, 2009, 10:21 PM
I have always been told that the English language is the most difficult to learn. Small wonder when you have - their, there, and they're; whether and weather; which witch is which; desert, dessert; tail and tale; the list goes on and on....

luckypenny
July 3rd, 2009, 01:12 AM
Thanks free, reading that gave me a head rush :laughing:.

TeriM
July 3rd, 2009, 01:16 AM
Wow, really shows how we like to complicate things eh :D.

growler~GateKeeper
July 3rd, 2009, 04:28 AM
good one free :laughing:

chico2
July 3rd, 2009, 08:28 AM
Well,imagine Swedish kids,of course we don't get very far speking Swedish,except buying IKEA stuff:laughing:
In school in Sweden,I had to learn English,German and French and here kids complain about learning French:confused:
English and German was easy,French was much harder..

I certainly understand why my French hubby has trouble pronouncing sometimes:laughing:thank's Free!