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Met someone new online.

ancientgirl
May 18th, 2009, 11:56 AM
So I met someone new online and we've been talking on the phone. I haven't met him in person yet, but so far he seems like a nice guy.

He sent me an email last week and I wrote back a few times and we exchanged phone numbers. He called me Friday evening, but it was late so I didn't answer. Instead I spoke with him on Saturday morning for a while, and then yesterday a few times. So far here's what I have found out about him.

He works for a cruise line in the IT department.
Single.
Took 2 years off of work to take care of his mother who was suffering from dementia.
One of his hobbies is restoring furniture.
He likes to cook.
He's liberal in his political views.
He likes animals and uses to own parrots and wants to rescue a Cockatoo eventually.

So far, from our conversations he seems like a nice guy and I'd like to definitely meet him and get to know him more, and he's told me he feels the same way.

I'm not going to have any expectations here. I talked to one guy before for a week and I never heard back from him after we met, so right now I'm just going to wait and see what happens.

I do like the fact I've been very up front about what my cats mean to me and he said he's felt the same way about his birds in the past. So, it seems like we have some common ground.

We've planned on meeting this week some time, or possible on Saturday. He's traveling to Germany for 10 days next week and he said he would like to meet me before he leaves.

Like I said, I'm telling myself not to have any expectations, but I'm also remaining positive. He seems like a nice guy sane person, which is so hard to find these days.

14+kitties
May 18th, 2009, 04:08 PM
Good luck mf! I don't need to tell you all the ins and outs of being careful. You know them all. Let's hope this one doesn't turn out to be a dud. :fingerscr

RolandsMom
May 18th, 2009, 04:17 PM
oooh! exciting! Holding thumbs for you!!!

Frenchy
May 18th, 2009, 04:22 PM
Took 2 years off of work to take care of his mother who was suffering from dementia.

He likes to cook.



If the taking care of his mom is true , that tells a lot about him. :thumbs up he bonus if he likes to cook !!!

I don,t have to tell you to meet in a public place , don't let him pick you up at your place bla bla bla .... right ?

Be careful and good luck !

p.s. if you have a cell phone , have a friend call you in the middle of the date , this way , if it's boring , you can always tell him an emergency has come up and you have to leave ;)

Lukka'sma
May 18th, 2009, 04:39 PM
I hope you two become a perfect match:)

ancientgirl
May 18th, 2009, 05:36 PM
Thanks everyone for the good vibes. I think the good thing so far is I don't get any creepy vibe from him...so far at least. We may meet for dinner this week so I'll meet him for certain in public. We'll see what kind of vibe I get then. :D

RolandsMom
May 18th, 2009, 05:43 PM
you will have to keep us up to date!! (Im very nosey with affairs of the heart. hehe I make no apologies for it!)

krdahmer
May 18th, 2009, 06:36 PM
:goodvibes: & :fingerscr that he's as good as he sounds.... I agree if the mom thing is true that does say a lot about him, not everything but a lot. ;)

ancientgirl
May 18th, 2009, 06:39 PM
I'm hoping he doesn't do anything creepy at this point. LOL

Jim Hall
May 18th, 2009, 07:10 PM
well thats great!!! buonna fortuna

:thumbs up

TacoGrl
May 18th, 2009, 08:07 PM
:fingerscr

I can offer no advice...my love life is non-existent :rolleyes:

I hope this works out for you though...you seem like a nice person who deserves a man who isn't creepy LoL! :D

hazelrunpack
May 18th, 2009, 09:06 PM
:goodvibes: for a great meeting, AG! There are good people out there somewhere--and you're way overdue for a meeting with one of them! :fingerscr

And remember, after your date, we need details...lotsa details :D

Chris21711
May 19th, 2009, 11:47 AM
This is exciting AG, do you think you can move the date up a bit, I hate suspense :laughing:

ancientgirl
May 19th, 2009, 11:58 AM
LOL, I might have dinner with him today or tomorrow. I will for sure post once I meet him.

phoozles
May 19th, 2009, 12:06 PM
Sounds great! I'm crossing my fingers for you!

BrownEyedGirl
May 19th, 2009, 12:17 PM
Best wishes to you. I met my SO online almost 3 years ago.

ancientgirl
May 19th, 2009, 03:14 PM
Best wishes to you. I met my SO online almost 3 years ago.

That's great for you. I have spoken to quite a few people who have met their SO's online. One of my best friends since childhood is currently engaged to someone she met online a few years ago.

Right now I'm just enjoying our phone conversations. The attention is nice. We'll see how we like each other when we meet in person.

chico2
May 19th, 2009, 04:31 PM
A-G,my middle son met the love of his life on line,he moved to her in Alberta and they've been together now for about 8 yrs.
Some people who don't like to hang out in bars and clubs,choose this way to meet someone,I don't think it's a bad thing,as long as you tread with caution.
Good Luck:grouphug:

ancientgirl
May 19th, 2009, 06:15 PM
Chico, I think I remember you saying something about your son. I'm one of those who hates going to bars. My best friend is married and has two kids, my other friend is living with someone and just had a baby, so hanging with them usually involves the family. I don't work for a large company where I can meet other people, so online is one of the few places I can at least put myself out there.

ancientgirl
May 24th, 2009, 07:33 PM
Well, I think things with this guy are fizzling out.

We were supposed to meet last Saturday in the afternoon. Before we were set to meet, he called and asked if we could move to the evening. I couldn't meet him in the evening so we decided to wait until further in the week.

He's got a business trip he's taking to Germany this coming week so he had to buy a bunch of clothes and some luggage, so I figured he was busy. I told him it was okay that we could just meet this week. He also told me he's been refinishing some sideboard. A side board he talks incessantly about.

Okay, so we kept talking on the phone during the week and he asked if we could have dinner on Thursday, since he has a work from home day weekly. Fine, we kept talking daily and we seem to have a few things in common. Thursday comes and right as I was leaving work, he calls me and says he needed to cancel, because he has some project he needs to finish that evening.

I said it was okay and that maybe we could do something this weekend. Fine, we decided to do it Saturday.

I called him yesterday morning and asked him if he wanted to have lunch. He said evening would be better for him, he was trying to finish his sideboard. Okay, no problem, I told him we could have dinner. He told me he'd finish his project around 3:00 and I said we could meet around 6:00pm. So he said that was great and he'd call me before.

Well, at 5:00 I still hadn't heard from him and decided to get a few things at the grocery store. Before I left he texted me a photo of a bird. I thought, okay cute bird, and went on my way. 5 minutes later he called me. He'd found the bird which was a baby near his apartment. He asked me if I knew anything about baby birds, which I don't, so I told him to go to the Petco that's close to him. Then he asked me if I was angry because he was standing me up again.

First, I didn't think he was going to stand me up until he said it and at that point what was I going to say? So I told him it was okay, to get the little bird taken care of and we could meet today after I came back from my dad's house. Okay, fast forward to about 7:30 and he called me to tell me the little bird died. I felt bad, because he was a cute little guy. Then he said he was really bummed and just wanted to stay home. By that point I didn't care so I told him not to worry about it and I'd call him on my way back from my dads and that's how we left it.

Well, I left my dad's at around 5:30 and called him. No answer. I waited until I got halfway home and called him again. No answer, so I left a message. Well I haven't received a phone call or text and it's nearly 9:00 pm. Quite frankly, I think I'm done with this guy.

Dracko
May 24th, 2009, 08:34 PM
Sounds like foreshadowing of what would be the rest of your relationship. I'd walk away.

TacoGrl
May 24th, 2009, 08:59 PM
Awwww...that's too bad this one turned out to be creepy AG :grouphug:

I too think this is probably why this guy is single...or maybe not...hate to say it, but he would rather work on his project during the day and see you at night? Perhaps his project was supposed to go out of town or be at work or something LoL!

Perhaps he is some kid playing a prank...of course idiots come in all ages so he could be some loser in his momma's basement having a little fun... :shrug:

Again, I have no advice on how to find the right one...just offering a bit of comrodery (sp? :rolleyes:)...hmmm...I am thinking of a new thread....:evil:

hazelrunpack
May 24th, 2009, 09:02 PM
Sounds like he sorta got cold feet... :rolleyes: Ah, well...better to find out now than later. :shrug:

Someone will turn up, AG. :grouphug: Just gotta be patient and keep separating the chaff from the wheat... :thumbs up

JennieV
May 24th, 2009, 10:02 PM
AG, if you ask me, the guy probably got cold feet. Its possible he felt overwhelmed and chickened out. I did that too one time in my life. I was feeling uncertain that I wanted to meet my now husband, and I made up excuses and tried to avoid making a commitment. That was silly of me, because we hit it off right away, regardless of major age difference and other obstacles between us. We did the whole long-distance thing for a year too...

I am just throwing it out there...Maybe you should just back off and see what happens, but if he comes forth again and wants to see you - give him a chance, but tell him you have no time to waste if he stands you up again.

Also, I think its best if you really take time to get to know the person before you meet them, and keep an eye for telling signs such as if he doesn't want you to call at certain time of day, or if he is suspiciously official when you call, that may be a sign he is playing you. I used to talk to this one guy who absolutely refused that I would call him, and the only time he could call was during his lunch at work. So I called him once and a woman picked up, so I said it was a wrong number and hung up. Yes, she could have been his sister or aunt or niece, but what are the chances...lol
:shrug:

Don't give up. The world is full of men, and sometimes it takes awhile to come across a decent one. :rolleyes:
Just remember, there are two sides to every story and sometimes thing just have a way of working out a certain way.

pbpatti
May 24th, 2009, 10:18 PM
AG sorry that this seems to have fizzled out on you, I thought maybe this might be a match for you, whether it was a freindship or more. Keep your chin up gal, I am sure there is a fellow for you:thumbs up

ancientgirl
May 25th, 2009, 09:05 AM
Thanks everybody, for your support.

I'm feeling okay about it. I felt bad yesterday but now I'm "meh".

I gave no cause for him to feel threatened or get cold feet.

I'm not calling him. And I really am not inclined to allow anyone to waste my time like that. If he wants to meet me then fine, I'll give him a chance, but if I hear from him again I'm telling him straight off, if he doesn't have 20 minutes to meet someone for coffee he claims to really want to meet then he can go kiss my you know what. :rolleyes:

chico2
May 25th, 2009, 03:43 PM
A-G,so sorry,but if he was wasting your time,he was a jerk:evil:
Him being a bird-lover,he also might not like cats,I love all animals,including birds.
But I know some people who are birders blame cats for killing birds(mine never have).
I am pretty sure the dating scene today is difficult,but I am equally sure,there is a wonderful cat-lover out there for you:fingerscr

ancientgirl
May 25th, 2009, 04:01 PM
Chico, he seemed really nice and he was very interested in learning about my cats. But as you said, he was wasting my time.

A glimpse of things to come? Absolutely. A guy that can't tear himself away from a piece of furniture to meet someone he's claiming to have so much in common with isn't worth my time.

TacoGrl
May 25th, 2009, 05:45 PM
A glimpse of things to come? Absolutely. A guy that can't tear himself away from a piece of furniture to meet someone he's claiming to have so much in common with isn't worth my time.


EXACTLY!!!! A car I can understand :D , but furniture?!? :shrug: :D

ancientgirl
May 25th, 2009, 05:51 PM
Yeah, and every time we talked that sideboard would rule the conversation.:rolleyes:

Lukka'sma
May 25th, 2009, 08:28 PM
You gave him far more chances than I would have. After the second cancellation I would have said I am not interested in pursuing this any further.
So he was a dud, but maybe the next one will be the right one........you never know

krdahmer
May 25th, 2009, 08:41 PM
sorry to hear that AG.... but the more duds that you meet, the more sure you are when the right one comes along! (that's how it worked here anyhow.... I mean man did I have a ton of duds along the way!:rolleyes:) :grouphug::goodvibes:

ancientgirl
May 26th, 2009, 07:11 AM
Well, I got to work early, and he called me while I was in the bathroom and left a message. He didn't even mention the fact he didn't return my call on Sunday. I'm not calling him back. If he calls me again, I'll answer and listen to his story. I'll base my final decision on what he says. I'd at least like to meet him in person. The only reason I've given him so many chances is it seems like we have a lot in common and have similar likes and dislikes. But I've about had it.

chico2
May 26th, 2009, 07:34 AM
A-G,maybe he's just insecure and proud of his sideboard(whatever that is:confused:)wants to show you he's handy:laughing:
Trying to care for a baby-bird shows some good qualities.
Maybe he deserves another chance:confused:

ancientgirl
May 26th, 2009, 08:02 AM
A-G,maybe he's just insecure and proud of his sideboard(whatever that is:confused:)wants to show you he's handy:laughing:
Trying to care for a baby-bird shows some good qualities.
Maybe he deserves another chance:confused:

Chico, a sideboard is just another word for buffet.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. He does seem like a caring person, that's the only reason I haven't totally told him to take a hike.

Jim Hall
May 26th, 2009, 08:17 AM
Okwell lol from the guy side

I want to meet myfirst date calm and focused and able to hang out for as long as we want I dint wnat to be thinking of projects or trips or whether my suit is done and when the H*** i gonna find time for a haircut . He may just be legitimently too busy.

ancientgirl
May 26th, 2009, 08:38 AM
Jim, he's leaving today for a business trip to Germany until June 18. I did speak with him finally and he said he never got my voice mail. He also said he was genuinely interested in meeting me, so I'll have to leave it at that.

We'll see what happens. With the time differences I likely will only hear from him here and there. If he's really interested, then we'll meet when he gets back.

However, if he pulls the same garbage after he gets back, then that's it.

Jim Hall
May 26th, 2009, 09:07 AM
lol one more strike buddy!!! :thumbs up

Luvmypitgirls
May 27th, 2009, 12:54 AM
AG, hopefully when this guy returns from Germany, he gets his act together and makes the time to meet you in person. I agree if he pulls this cancelling thing again...kick him to the curb!

Your Mister Right is out there, unfortunately sometimes we have to go thru many Mister Wrongs to find him.

Hopefully things will work out, but if they don't please don't get discouraged, I have always believed that Love finds us when we aren't looking.

I had all but given up on men then BAM, fate throws my now hubby for almost 20 yrs at me.
Keep your chin up.:grouphug:

ancientgirl
May 27th, 2009, 07:46 AM
LMPG, I decided to just give this a chance. We started talking at a time when he had a lot going on so I'm going to remain positive. But yes, my patience for the canceling has run out. One more cancellation and that's it.

.nanama
May 28th, 2009, 08:12 PM
AG, i think your policy at this point is good. he's had more than enough chances for cold feet, but now if he's serious he needs to just take a deep breath and plunge