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Little Old Ladies are Priceless

April 26th, 2009, 03:04 AM
Little Old Ladies are Priceless .....

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would mind telling me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

April 26th, 2009, 09:12 AM
Gadz, rainbow was on a roll in the wee hours of the morning! :laughing: :p LOL

April 26th, 2009, 11:16 PM


April 27th, 2009, 02:58 PM
LOL..That's a good one.

April 27th, 2009, 07:36 PM
Oh gosh--I know that was a joke but I have to share a story our former pastor told us that actually happened to him when he was visiting and elderly lady from our church.

Thor was the pastor of visitation and he made it a point to visit the older people regularly since they couldn't get out as much as they liked. He was visiting an elderly woman and she put out a bowl of plain peanuts on the coffee table. He sat and chatted and while he talked he snacked on the peanuts. He noticed that he'd eaten almost all of them and he said to her, "Oh look at what I've done, I'm eating all of your peanuts."

And she said "Oh that's ok pastor. I don't like peanuts. I just like to suck the chocolate off."


April 27th, 2009, 09:55 PM
Are you sure your pastor actually had that experience as I've received it before as an email joke .....

A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. "Mind if I have a few?" he asks.

"No, not at all!" the woman replied.

They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl. "I'm terribly sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really just meant to eat a few."

"Oh, that's all right," the woman says. "Ever since I lost my teeth all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."

As well as this version ....

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?",

The old lady replied,? "We just love the chocolate around them."

Moral of the story .....

It pays to be careful around old people.

April 28th, 2009, 09:18 PM
Are you sure your pastor actually had that experience as I've received it before as an email joke .....

Well I wouldn't put it past him !! The old stinker even blamed a specific lady in the congregation !! Last time I believe a story from a "man of the cloth." LOL!!