Pets.ca - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 

-->

Kids running wild

onster
March 31st, 2009, 12:33 PM
I used to love kids and babies - I would always prefer to be with the kids vs the adults and would take any baby off their mother's hands.

But now I find tho I still love babies I can hardly stand most kids!!

Is it just me or do people now let their kids run wild? I was at an event over the weekend (international food bazaar). Holy moly. Kids running everywhere, screaming, slamming doors, running in to everyone, knocking things over.

Now im not of the "kids mustnt be seen or heard type" but really now what happened to teaching your kids to behave. It seems parents these days are afraid of discipline. One thing is for sure my mom never let me run wild like that!!

I witnessed a toddler take his dad's keys and then go across the room and attempt to put them in a socket. I sprang out of my chair so fast. Kid had went back to his dad meanwhile oblivious dad chatting with his friend. I told his dad what I saw and the guy barely blinked an eye.

Other kids kept running past our table chasing eachother knocking nearby chairs down. SOme kids were playing with the door next to us, opening it screaming closing it. What irks me is Im sure the parents could probably see all this but they dont care? :shrug:

Omg. COuldnt get out of there fast enough.

I think im turning into a grouch. What happened to kids having manners?

Note: of course I dont mean all kids. Im sure many of you have amazing children who you've taught well. I'm just talking bout my experiences lately in this last event and similar ones with kids. Even my experiences with my lil bro's friends sometimes.

JennieV
March 31st, 2009, 01:15 PM
Onster, you are not the only one that notices these things. I always loved kids and always will, but some of these children need some serious spanking (yes, I have been spanked and turned out just fine!! :thumbs up ).

I am talking about kids, who are absolutely disrespectful, ignoring any kind of instruction from adults and plainly rude. Kids, that have no manners whatsoever. :sick: In my days, you not only didn't behave that way, you never answered back! (I am only 29, so it wasn't so long ago). Times have changed tremendously, and I think it is due to the extreme lack of discipline. Kids are allowed to do what they want, when they want, they have all kinds of toys and gadgets, but do they really appreciate it? I doubt it.

Just recently, my sister in law and I were in a coffee shop. it was packed. The father was sitting down, talking to his 2 friends, while the kid, about 6-7 years old was doing laps around the shop, knocking people, bumping into things, until he finally stumbled over a fold in a rug and fell. Well, do you think the father moved abit? Nope! He continued his conversation as if the child wasn't even there!! The kid was screaming and taking a fit on the floor, until the supervisor of the shop came over to him. Then, he ran to his father's side, and guess what the father did? NOTHING! :loser: He did not apologise to the store supervisor or the clients, he did not talk to his kid, he did NOTHING! 2 minutes later, the kid went on rampaging through the shop.:confused:

I have a question: WHAT THE HECK!!!? Since when it has become a norm to just cut your kid loose? Never mind interrupting and duisturbing the entire shop with runnign and screaming, he is a potential danger to himself, what if he knocks a person with hot coffee? or a soup? what if he gets hurt? the store would be held liable for that! :shrug::frustrated: And what can you do or say? nothing. Its the parents' job.:frustrated:

Anyways, all I can say is my kids will NEVER be like that. And yes, I will spank and punish them if they deserve it ( :eek::eek: the horror!!), and make them have chores that they are not paid or bribed for... Just like I had my duties and chores in the household. And I will love them to death, through thick and thin, but you know what, I will not allow them to become what some kids are today.

14+kitties
March 31st, 2009, 03:07 PM
Those examples are when you hope that the function/store you are in has video running. If it is and the kid's father decided to take the store to court for his kid's injuries than the tape could be shown. Other than that the only thing you can hope for is a customer or two coming forward to testify.

My kids were never allowed to get away with stuff like that. If they were mouthy, crying, making a scene, whatever, we left. No ands, ifs or buts. But then I am old school. :rolleyes:

BenMax
March 31st, 2009, 03:16 PM
My kids were never allowed to get away with stuff like that. If they were mouthy, crying, making a scene, whatever, we left. No ands, ifs or buts. But then I am old school. :rolleyes:

14+ - my mom would do the same with us when we were young. Not to mention her taking our hands and squeezing the bajesus out of them. She would give us that 'smile' and say softly "wait until I get you home". Oh with the squeeze, that evil smile and soft words....we knew we were going down!:laughing::laughing::laughing:. She was right though. With my own child she knew not to pull a fit or otherwise. I never squeezed the heck out of her little mits but I gave her 'the look' - she knew that the party was over. She turned out to be a wonderful adult!:thumbs up

onster
March 31st, 2009, 03:20 PM
Glad its not just me. i was really was begining to think I was turning into a 'big meanie'!!

14+ my mom's old school like you..as am I. She would never let me get away with anything like the kids I saw!!

jennieV I know what you mean bout some kids getting whatever whenever! I mean I was a privelaged kid in that I had a lot of toys etc but I had to give things away for charity to get new items and Id have to earn toys etc. Re: the spanking I didnt get spanked per se. I got hit maybe all of 2/3 times in my life each time boy did I deserve it (hindsight of course lol) !!! I have to say I stand by it too. I turned out just fine.

I think some take giving your kids 'freedom' too much to the extreme....letting them make their own choices etc etc. I mean its all fine and dandy when theyre not causing chaos!!

Love4himies
March 31st, 2009, 03:21 PM
Back in my day you listened to parents and had a fear of them. That is not a bad thing, IMO as long as there is no abuse involved. I had the wooden spoon a couple of times, but don't feel I was abused or worse off for it.

ancientgirl
March 31st, 2009, 03:24 PM
Onster, I know how you feel. It seems these days people who have kids assume that when they are at some event, other people will watch their kids so they don't bother. But lord help you if you say something to the kid about not doing this or that because the parent will be on you like a fly on honey.

I remember when I used to live with my aunt and she took care of my cousins kids. At family events, my cousins would just let their kids run wild.

You had them, you should have the sense of responsibility to take care of them and make sure they aren't bothering other people trying to have a good time.

I recall a wedding invitation that came to the house, it said no children. To me it made sense, after having attended many weddings and events when people bought their kids and half the time all you saw were kids running around all over the place. My cousins were sooooo insulted. They refused to even attend the wedding. A few years later one of them were planning some event and she was going to have no children on the invitation. I said, "I guess it's okay to ask people not to bring kids when you don't want them disturbing your event, but you feel insulted when they don't want your kids disturbing their event."

Um...my cousins and I don't talk much these days.:laughing:

onster
March 31st, 2009, 03:24 PM
hahahah yes Benmax..the look.

When my mom is really pissed she starts to chew her bottom lip. To this day I know to scatter reaaaaaaallly quick when she starts to do that.

My dad looks at you from underneath his glasses (i dunno if that makes any sense ..cant phrase it well)...oooooh boy gives me the heebie jeebies. lol. oddly enough my dads looks got me on the straight and narrow much faster than my mom tho he never lay a hand on me. My dad was frugal with his looks though. I recieved them a handful of times.

Mom gave me the look often lol. Loses its potency after a while.


JennieV....sommmeeebody gonna getttaaa hurt real bad. LOL

onster
March 31st, 2009, 03:27 PM
oh and lets not forget the classic

" One..... Two..." * Kids run like the wind* lol

mom is also the master of the full name technique. You know your in trouble when your mom calls you by like 7 names lol.

onster
March 31st, 2009, 03:31 PM
AG...luckily family events are peaceful. I love my kid cousins to death. They are so sweet and well mannered. I can imagine how having kids running around at family events liek that would spoil the occassion. Good for you for telling your cousin how it is tho.

L4H def. agree with you.

chico2
March 31st, 2009, 05:28 PM
Oh,Oh what a topic:laughing:
I worked in a restaurant for a few years,Sunday"family-Day"was the worst,it was kind of a "fancy"restaurant,it was considered a big deal to go there.
I never could understand that:confused:
I've seen kids throw food across the room,taking hissy-fits,swearing,going up to the buffet grabbing food with there dirty little hands,
However,I've never been known to just take it,so since I only worked weekends,the regular girls let me handle any problems and I did:laughing:
I have to admit,my boys got slapped on the butt a few times when they did something really bad and we did not go to a restaurant very often,but when we did,they behaved,or else!
Everyone need discipline and order in their lives,otherwise they'll be in trouble in school or the workforce,when they cannot misbehave without consequences.

CearaQC
March 31st, 2009, 05:46 PM
I'm not crazy about kids and don't want any of my own. :sorry: I just feel realllly uncomfortable around children aged 2 to 18. :laughing: Babies are great though because they sleep a lot and don't talk yet and are cuddly.

I did babysit a lot when I was a teenager and was OK with kids back then, but had an experience that changed me forever with kids. Was babysitting an 8 yr old boy and his younger sister while his parents went out to dinner so they could try and patch things up and not get a divorce. I was 16 at the time and loved school and had a lot of homework so I did my homework while the kids played.

Then it got awful quiet and you all know what that means. Either something is up or they are sleeping. So I went to check. I found the little boy "exploring" his body and he freaked out, yelled at me, called me all sorts of colorful names (where did he learn all that?) and proceeded to run to the kitchen, got a giant knife and started chasing me with it.

I vowed to never deal with children again after that episode.

aslan
March 31st, 2009, 06:14 PM
Omg, i'm sooo glad i'm not the only one. Grace and i went out to dinner recently and there were 3 of the little vermin running around, screaming, throwing stuff just ingeneral being evil. People around the parents kept looking at them and the mother was passing out dirty looks. I am not the most patient person when it comes to kids, and screeching children in a restaurant just doesn't cut it with me. As two of the ummmmm lovely creatures went to vroom by our table, hmmmm didn't my foot appear out in the aisle. boom. No more running around. Mom gave me a dirty look rallied her kids and left.

And i have to say the next parent that says to me " oooh you just have to learn to tune them out" is gonna get a smack. No i don't, you need to control your children in public or leave them home.:frustrated:

ancientgirl
March 31st, 2009, 08:01 PM
And i have to say the next parent that says to me " oooh you just have to learn to tune them out" is gonna get a smack. No i don't, you need to control your children in public or leave them home.:frustrated:

Amen. When I was in my 20's I wanted very badly to have kids. It was ingrained in me by my family and my culture you HAD to get married and have kids or else you'd be an old maid, and nobody wants to be that.

In my 30's, I considered either adopting or having a child on my own. I didn't see marriage getting any closer but I still wanted kids.

When I turned 40, I wondered if it was really me who wanted kids or if I just thought I wanted them because of what I felt I should do. I went back and forth for a while and now at a soon to be 42, I think I'll leave things the way they are. After all, my brother took the bullet for the family and had two to continue the family name.:laughing:

I don't have patience for kids, especially bratty kids and kids who were allowed to run rampant by their parents. I urks me to no end when you go somewhere and there are loud obnoxious kids yet you are made to feel like if you complain you are some sort of scrooge or something. Sorry if I want to watch my movie, eat my dinner and just generally enjoy some time out without having to deal with yelling kids. I also can't see myself giving up so much of my time for kids. That sounds selfish, but at this point in my life, I only want to give my time to my furries.

cell
March 31st, 2009, 09:20 PM
I'm with CearaQC on this one, I dislike kids, and don't want my own, and don't even want to be in the company of other peoples. People always tell me "oh if you have your own you will love them" to which I usually respond "good thing I will never have them so I won't know what I'm missing" I can't stand toddlers or infants (unless they are asleep), once they start talking I better have headphones with music, I have cranked music in my ears until it hurt just to not hear children throwing tantrums on public transit.
I hate how parents treat their kids like trophies, steer them around in Cadillac sized strollers and buy them every dumb gadget known to man when you should stick them outside in a mud hole with a stick and actually make them think about something to do for a change.
And what ever happened to those baby leashes? I LOVE those things, they should come back in style. People say its treating a kid like a dog, well some dogs get treated better then some kids, you think a 2 year old will get a complex because mommy kept it on a leash? I doubt it.
Parents are so lazy a tuned out now a days, North America has a soaring teen pregnancy rate, babies having babies, what a novel idea. Drug companies must thrive on this stuff, they sell Ritalin like its growing on trees because parents are too lazy to engage their kids physically or mentally. In many areas of Europe Ritalin is illegal and ADHD is not a diagnosed disease. hmm...
TV is raising the kids now a days it seems, and TV is garbage now, the shows on TV are so dumbed down they keep children babbling into the early school years.
I also agree with all the posters who said kids don't have "the fear" anymore, how can a child respect you without a level of fear involved, there has to be a level of fear its a evolutionary safety net, if mommy said don't wander off in the bush you did because something would eat you, and well, our species would have pretty much stopped before we crawled out of our caves...
I grew up with basic manors, I didn't talk back, I ate all the food on my plate like it or not, I referred to everyone as Mr. Ms. Aunt or Uncle, never direct first names. If I wanted something 98% of the time I never got it or had to beg for it for the next upcoming holiday. If it was warranted (whether I thought so or not at the time) I got spanked, or chased and I made sure I didn't do it again, or at least not get caught doing it again.
Also what is up with all the FAT KIDS?! do kids not play outside anymore?! (I certainly don't see them) These kids are all going to be dead or have diabetes by 30 or I will be working and paying taxes for their health care because their parents didn't get them moving and wean them off the burgers and pre made TV dinners. When I was in elementary (I am only 21 here too) there was like 10 fat kids in grade 0-6. They usually had overweight parents so I suppose they couldn't help it, but this is the majority now.

I apologize for my dry, sarcastic, pessimism, its the way I role.

JennieV
March 31st, 2009, 09:22 PM
Omg, i'm sooo glad i'm not the only one. Grace and i went out to dinner recently and there were 3 of the little vermin running around, screaming, throwing stuff just ingeneral being evil. People around the parents kept looking at them and the mother was passing out dirty looks. I am not the most patient person when it comes to kids, and screeching children in a restaurant just doesn't cut it with me. As two of the ummmmm lovely creatures went to vroom by our table, hmmmm didn't my foot appear out in the aisle. boom. No more running around. Mom gave me a dirty look rallied her kids and left. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

And i have to say the next parent that says to me " oooh you just have to learn to tune them out" is gonna get a smack. No i don't, you need to control your children in public or leave them home.:frustrated:

OMG, aslan, if someone ever EVERRRRR says that to me...OMG! :evil::evil:

Mat&Murph
March 31st, 2009, 10:14 PM
I have small kids and they Know there is no if, ands or buts..They behave in puplic or else. I can't stand a screaming, mouthy, winey kid!!! I hate seeing other people's kids acting like that in public. It is hard to explaine to my kids why they are getting away with and my kids don't
"yeah honey..their mom and dad are just plain lazy"
That goes over go with my 4 year old.
Oh well it seems to work out, I have childless friends and they never have a problem going out with my kids. But I do the "look" and They know I have no problem walking out in the middle of the store and not get anything....They all have tested me once and never again. They went home and to bed. Never tried it again.

Shaykeija
March 31st, 2009, 10:30 PM
I personally do not like spoiled, bratty screaming kids. When I hear a kid throw a tantrum in a store and the parent or parents do nothing, you can usually hear me say..."Birth control could have taken care of that problem..."

SIL
April 1st, 2009, 09:03 AM
I also have small kids and like M&M said they know that if they don't behave in public it's home and off to bed... I can't stand kids running around restaurants causing havoc for everybody else while their parents sit around and do nothing.
When I was younger a friend of my parents had a daughter that was TROUBLE!!! she would pick up gum/cigarette butts from the floor and run around everywhere. When they called to come over you knew you had to clear anything breakable or it would disappear. All her mom did was sit on the couch and yell at her to stop...which never worked. :frustrated:
I'm happy to say that I've received many compliments about my kids behaviour and can take them out to dinner or to stores without causing them causing a fuss.:)

aslan
April 1st, 2009, 09:22 AM
I personally do not like spoiled, bratty screaming kids. When I hear a kid throw a tantrum in a store and the parent or parents do nothing, you can usually hear me say..."Birth control could have taken care of that problem..."

:laughing::laughing: I cracked poor LP up in a store one day. Little kid screeching away and i walked by and said " kill it".:D:evil:

chico2
April 1st, 2009, 04:45 PM
Aslan,I can just see you do that:lovestruck:the kid was probably shaking in fear:laughing:

Luvmypitgirls
April 2nd, 2009, 10:50 AM
Onster, you are not the only one that notices these things. I always loved kids and always will, but some of these children need some serious spanking (yes, I have been spanked and turned out just fine!! :thumbs up ).

Anyways, all I can say is my kids will NEVER be like that. And yes, I will spank and punish them if they deserve it ( :eek::eek: the horror!!), and make them have chores that they are not paid or bribed for... Just like I had my duties and chores in the household. And I will love them to death, through thick and thin, but you know what, I will not allow them to become what some kids are today.


Onster and Jennie, unruly kids do seem to have become the norm.
I am a firm believer in "spare the rod, spoil the child".
My oldest two sons were spanked, as a last resort, and they have turned out just fine too! (No point in spanking my youngest, since he's paralized from the waist down. His brothers were always jealous of the fact that he doesn't have feeling in his behind.)

I had a friend, who never spanked her kids. She witnessed me give my oldest one a smack on the hiney for teasing her dog, and she went balistic on me. That was our last visit to her house.
The funny thing is, her and many of my other "no spanking" friends, have had some serious challenges with their children. Many have had their kids brought home by the police so many times I've lost count. Some have been charged with serious offences, such as assault causing bodily harm, possession of stolen property, car theft, drugs, and drinking under age.

Not once have my kids been brought home by the police, (except for when my one son was jumped by a group of kids, the police intervened and brought him home to ensure he would arrive safe.) My kids have never been arrested nor charged.

I'm not saying it's only because I did spank, but I have always maintained an open line of communication with my sons and I was very strict about appropriate behavior. Usually taking away things they favored was punishment enough, I've stripped their rooms down to a mattress on the floor on several occassions. I never used grounding because that in my opinion was like punishing myself lol.
I have even set up "community service" for punishment ie: shovelling neighbors walks and driveways, helping clean a yards, doggy doo duty for my elderly neighbors.
What began as a punishment, is now a willingness to volunteer in their community.

It seems more and more parents today are "disconnected" from their children.
I know one boy, who has a closer relationship with his PS3, than his parents. It's quite sad really. There are exceptions, but for the most part, I believe a childs behavior is most definately a reflection of the parenting they receive.

Luvmypitgirls
April 2nd, 2009, 10:54 AM
oh and lets not forget the classic

" One..... Two..." * Kids run like the wind* lol

mom is also the master of the full name technique. You know your in trouble when your mom calls you by like 7 names lol.

:laughing:...I still do that to my kids, (23,20,17)

Luvmypitgirls
April 2nd, 2009, 11:00 AM
:laughing::laughing: I cracked poor LP up in a store one day. Little kid screeching away and i walked by and said " kill it".:D:evil:

:eek:...:laughing::laughing::laughing:

luckypenny
April 2nd, 2009, 11:12 AM
WHat I don't understand is why parents even take a young child shopping for hours on end :shrug:. Or to places like restaurants where many are really not child friendly. Young children have short attention spans and tire/bore easily if not kept occupied.

Each of my boys, as toddlers, only pulled a tantrum once in a grocery store...I was attempting to teach them opportunity cost and let them chose only one item they wanted. By the time we got to the cash, they were freaking out that they couldn't have more so, out the car and back home with all the groceries left behind. You can bet they were angels the following times we went. No yelling, no spanking necessary.

luckypenny
April 2nd, 2009, 11:14 AM
:laughing::laughing: I cracked poor LP up in a store one day. Little kid screeching away and i walked by and said " kill it".:D:evil:

:laughing: Yeah, it took a few seconds for your comment to register, lol.

luckypenny
April 2nd, 2009, 11:19 AM
. I never used grounding because that in my opinion was like punishing myself lol.


Lol, I can so relate :D. I used to send Sandman to the park next door to where we used to live as a punishment...he loved being in his room and rarely socialized with the neighbourhood children. Turns out grounding him to the park turned out to be a wonderful learning tool for him.

Luvmypitgirls
April 2nd, 2009, 11:20 AM
WHat I don't understand is why parents even take a young child shopping for hours on end :shrug:. .

Ahh yes, but what gets me even more are the parents that take their young children shopping for hours on end, with those damn little shoes with the squeakers in the heels!:mad: It's not bad enough that their kids are unruly, throwing tantrums, rampaging thru the aisles but they have to buy shoes with squeakers in them too, as if their brats aren't drawing enough attention...:wall:

Jim Hall
April 2nd, 2009, 11:49 AM
so my friend the lawyer says he needs to get some stuff filed and general office i help him when i can
i said ask your kids they both teens he said they wont do it

they wont do it when my dad asked me it really wasnt a request you know?

Love4himies
April 2nd, 2009, 11:57 AM
:laughing::laughing: I cracked poor LP up in a store one day. Little kid screeching away and i walked by and said " kill it".:D:evil:

:laugh: :laugh:

JennieV
April 2nd, 2009, 03:15 PM
Its funny actually...My nephews never seem to bother helping their mother. But if we are having dinner together, I calmly say stuff like: "Jon, Daniel, supper is ready, set the table." And lo and behold! A miracle!! they are actually setting the table! WOW!! Their mother could be calling them for half hour and they will drag themselves over like a dying swan.

I babysat a lot my entire life and practically raised all our neighbour's kids..They never seem to pull any funky stuff on me. Neither did dogs.. amazingly so, neither does my husband! :laughing: My nephews call me Sergeant Jennie. LOL

Mat&Murph
April 2nd, 2009, 03:24 PM
The topic has had some pretty funny stories!!! Aslan, the kill it comment had me on the floor laughing!!!!!!
But it is sad how many parents don't do anything about their bratty kids! I believe in spanking as only a last resort if nothing else works. I have spanked my kids and It snapped them out of whatever is was they were doing.
I was spanked when I was a kid and I am fine.

chico2
April 2nd, 2009, 05:15 PM
I have a great example in Baileys owners and their 3 kids,2 teenage boys and a 12yr old girl.
Today when I came to get Bailey,the oldest boy(about 16)is laying on the couch watching TV.
The sink is overflowing with dirty dishes,a total disaster in the whole house.
I suggested to him to help his mom and do the dishes(no dishwasher),he just said,nah!!
These kids have every new electronic gadget you can think off,they go on vacations at least three times/year,with the parents.
Mom gets home around 6;30,dad the same.
They are both working to keep their kids playing hockey,soccer,baseball and basket-ball, the girl in gymnastics and cheer-leading.
Those kids have no idea about the value of money.
In the summer,dad has to cut the grass when he gets home from work and clean up the garbage the kids throw around outside.
No way,would that have happened with my boys,they had chores to do,of course home-work came first and I usually had to help,but grass-cutting,keeping their rooms livable,walking the dog etc,etc..were their chores, not all the time,but if we needed them too they did it.
Kids have to learn respect for others,including their mom and dad.
Unfortunately today,both parents have to work,to keep their kids with everything they"need"or simply to pay mortgage and how often do todays families sit down together for dinner? Discuss what's happening at school and work?
This recession might bring something good to peolpe,maybe it will bring families back to basics,not spending on what they cannot afford,it will be a wake-up call for many,including kids.Sorry for the rant:frustrated:

14+kitties
April 2nd, 2009, 06:23 PM
:thumbs up You go chico!!

JennieV
April 2nd, 2009, 07:06 PM
Oh absolutely, Chico, I think that family values got lost in the shuffle of TV in the kitchen, slamming doors at people, cursing back (not just answering, but using the F words freely while you're yelling at your parents..)

About a couple of weeks ago, I left work early and was listening to a talk-show that I dont usually catch. The topic was, this one mother was expressing how she thought that her kids got enough on their plates with school and such and that she would never give them chores, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!:eek:
Yes..because they won't get into a major shock when they go out there, into the big world, with bosses, salaries and people telling them what to do, no, not at all!!
Will they be prepared to look after themselves?? I seriously doubt that. I was shocked when I heard that. And what was funny is that every single caller was saying the same thing - chores never hurt anyone, and that the woman is wrong. I just hope that she realizes that she is, and wakes up before her kids are too spoiled to lift their bum off the couch. :rolleyes:

I was responsible for all the cleaning and some cooking by the time I was 15. I was feeding my brother upon his return from school and looking after people's kids at the same time. When I was 20 - I moved out and hit the ground running. My husband on the other hand was raised by a typical italian mother, who did EVERYTHING. When we moved out on our own and I was left to do ALL of the housework, I sat him down and said that I was not his nanny, mommy or babysitter with benefits, and that if he wanted this to work - he better pitch in. And this is a grown man!
:shrug:
Some people just don't see where this whole giving in and not disciplining the kids may lead...:frustrated:

free
April 2nd, 2009, 07:44 PM
my kids didn't have to help much in the house. even though i was a stay at home mom they were typical teens withh clothes on the floor, that led them to have to do their own laundry. i would only dust and vaccum if the room was neat and tidy, needless to stay 2 less rooms for me to do. they were responsible for feeding the dog when they were home and clearing and wiping the table after dinner. it did help them when they moved out for university. they worked from the time they were young because i refused to shower them with all the latest gadgets or clothes. anything i didnt want to pay for they had to. they had to know money didnt grow on trees. my girls learned credit cards are like cash . if you cant pay for it you dont spend it. they see plenty of kids that have no idea about the real world out there.

onster
April 2nd, 2009, 11:31 PM
so many great examples of how to raise kids right here!

Also so many horror stories :eek::eek: eek lol

I know Im definately gonna be an old fashioned mom if I do become one.

Jenniev - I never did get the kids swearing at their parents thing. ...why do the parents take it?

Chico good for u for suggesting for the son to do something to help his parents. I cant understand his answer tho i mean....unless ure like his 2nd mom or somehting. Even if I dont wanna do something but if an 'outside' person suggested for me to clean up a bit or help my mom id be too embarrassed to say "naaaah"!!!

Magicwildwolf69
April 2nd, 2009, 11:46 PM
Wow i so thought sometimes i was the only one who ever thought about things like this. I work in a grocery store and i can't tell you the amount of times kids run around the store like its a playground. running into other customers pulling things off the shelves tossing stuff around...i could go on and on. Usually if I'm managing (i do part managing part cashier most of the time) I'll walk right to the kids and ask them to stop. Sometimes i've even asked the parents to please watch the kids. Most of them don't care or stare at me like I'm asking them to run naked. you know that blank stare like "omg what". I don't have a problem anymore telling parents to watch their kids. i work in a small store and it gets crowded in there most days.

There are plenty of kids that are very well behaved and its so sad now a days when people comment on how well behaved someone's child is. What happened to the time where it was the norm and no one blinked an eyelash at a child saying please thank you and mam or sir or just being polite.

and its funny ancient that you mention about getting older getting married having kids and then raising them. every time someone mentions oh you are getting married because of my ring they say oh and how many kids do you want. When i reply with "i don't plan on having any kids" .....i get horror looks or blank looks like oh there is something so wrong with me that i don't want kids. i don't want children really. if i ever got pregnant then yes i would keep it and raise it. part of me looks at it this way. i had a horrible childhood with a father who drank and beat us children. when my mother finally left when i was 12 then i helped raise a younger brother (10 years behind me) while she worked a couple jobs to raise us. so part of me missed the fun of growing up and doing teenage stuff so i'm kinda of doing it now. makes me sound selfish yes. but its the way i feel. i don't think everyone is meant to have kids.

now that i went past most of the subject I'll end my post hehe. plus i wouldn't want my kids mingling with the kids of today haha

dustybird
April 3rd, 2009, 01:24 AM
My parents would have never let my brother and I act the way most kids(seems like most) act today. From the time I was able I dried and put the dishes away every night until I moved out. I never complained, but it wasn't until I was in highschool that I realized how great it was...really. It was a part of my day and a time where my mom and I could talk about our day and she could sneakily find out what was going on with me. She washed I dried, we bonded. With my dad we went fishing, or tinkered in the workshop, played catch and talked or I was putting a bandaid on him....he was a little accident prone. My room was my place as long as it didn't smell funny it could be messy. I always had some sort of pet in there and because of this my room was always clean, I even had my own little vacume so I could remove kicked out cage litter easily off the floor(which I bought with money I made babysitting). When I had my Dove my room was his room....ok it was his room so it had to be clean and safe for him. I had other little chores here and there and I wasn't paid or bribed and I really can't remember making a fuss about having to do them. If I used the car I had to put gas in it and if I used it a lot I had to pay half the maintenace costs.

I started babysitting for the people in my area when I was 12 including newborns...today I cannot imagine a 12 year old being responsible enough to take care of someones child. Even at 12 I would have never let the little ones I watched behave the way they do now and I always new where they were and what they were up to....I was a paranoid, over protective sitter. At 19 I decided I deserved to finaly go out and have fun on the week-ends.

I just don't get parents today, then again I don't get most of society today either. I don't think I am that old at 33 but I almost fall over if I here someone say thank you, excuse me or hold a door open, or hold/catch a door into a store when someone is comming in behind them so it doesn't hit them. People today in general just seem to be rude and selfish so it's no wonder thier kids are they way they are. It's seems no one can be bothered to raise thier kids anymore, as if it's someone elses responsiblity. I feel bad for teachers. Kids today have no respect for authority or even each other for that matter. It's really sad to think what's going to happen to this world when they all grow up and are in charge.

I remeber comming home from school when I was about 10 and my dad would get home around 4:30 my mom around 5, I at about 4:00. If what we were having for dinner was something that had to go into the oven well I put it in, spices and all. Peeled the potatoes or whatever else so most of it was ready to go when they got home. Again today....can't picture kids being able to handle what to me was a simple task. I wasn't special or mature for my age, I was part of a family and we did what was needed to help out. Family.....are there real familes anymore or is it everyone for themselves.

I don't think for the most part kids are spoiled so much as parents are lazy, give them all sorts of crap so they don't have to deal with them or spend time with them because "they're to busy". So when they start bugging them for the latest new toy/gadget they give it to them to shut them up. A bedtime story....do parents do that anymore? I am all for kids expressing themselves but come on, how it taking over a coffee shop, running around screaming, bumping into people etc... expressing ones self, if an adult did that they'd be arrested. The language that is used and they way they talk to parents, teachers....anyone....man I'd be grounded for life.

I am sure there are still a lot of parents who care and take the time to raise thier kids, single, married or divorced but it sure seems like there aren't many. The fuffy parents drive me nutts to, oh that's just Timmy's way of saying he's not happy or he's just a little hyper today, after he's destroyed your store he'll settle right down and you'll see what an angel he is.....ummmm lady your little Timmy is an out of control brat who ownes you.

Well I guess that's my rant thingy. Oh and I decided a long time ago that I don't want kids, not because I don't like them or think I'd be a bad mother. It's because to me it's a life long responsibity(in one way or another) and it's not one I am prepared to make. That and I think I be in a constant state of worry everytime my child went out the door.

JennieV
April 8th, 2009, 10:36 AM
Dustybird, you bring up some excellent points... There is no more bonding with kids these days, the dinner time is interrupted by Simpsons or the Family Guy or whatever else is on TV. Some of it is plainly too much...Just the other day, we were at my inlaws, and the tv was on and one of those obnoxious cartoons was on, when I heard something along the lines of "kick me in the balls, violate me with a beer bottle.." I was appaled. :eek: No wonder the kids mouth off to their elders..!

And this morning what do I hear on the radio? a girl sued her father for punishing her (she wouldnt get off the internet and he cancelled her school trip or something) and guess what? SHE WON!!! WTF! the father is supposedly appealing it and is ready to go to supreme court, but what the heck! How is a parent to discipline their child if the child gonna sue them?

And yet, people that drive drunk get away with murder!...

ancientgirl
April 8th, 2009, 10:44 AM
And this morning what do I hear on the radio? a girl sued her father for punishing her (she wouldnt get off the internet and he cancelled her school trip or something) and guess what? SHE WON!!! WTF! the father is supposedly appealing it and is ready to go to supreme court, but what the heck! How is a parent to discipline their child if the child gonna sue them?

And yet, people that drive drunk get away with murder!...

Are you kidding me? That's unbelievable! You know, I get that we need laws to protect children, but in the last 15-20 years, it's to the point where parents are no longer allowed to discipline their children, and are afraid to because of possible repercussions!

I remember many years ago, there was a case of a high school girl, who said she was being abused by her parents. She wasn't, but she was angry because they wouldn't let her go out with her friends, so she reported they abused her. Well child services came and put her in a foster home. She said she had lied, but of course you know that only prompts them to investigate further because they thought she was being coerced to say she lied.

That girls lie ruined her parents life and subsequently they declared bankruptcy because they could no longer afford the legal battles.

When I was a kid, I got my fair share of spankings, and slaps on the butt and arm or what have you, because I was being a pain. My parents never hit me just for the sake of it, back then, that's how you disciplined. I never felt abused and I never would have reported my parents. And let me tell you, my dad only spanked me once, so did my mom. Everything after that, was always just "a look." And that's all you needed. You were doing something wrong, you get "the look" and man you stopped in your tracks.

To this day I have the utmost respect for my father and would never raise my voice to him.

Mat&Murph
April 8th, 2009, 12:29 PM
I know alot of parents get that fear of someone reporting for abuse. My nephew' s teacher told the class one day that parents were not allowed to raise their voices or spank their childeren as it is a sign of abuse. Or they were not allowed to ground their childeren as it was a form of imprisinment. What kind of teacher is that??? And the kids know that all they have to do is call the police if they get mad at their parents. When did the control get passed over to the kids???
I saw a lady in a store one day and she was haveing problems with her son and she was giving him heck and he bit her. She spanked him in the store. Not hard but enough he felt it. Another man in the store stopped and told her she didn't need to spank her son.
Alot of times it goes both ways

ancientgirl
April 8th, 2009, 12:49 PM
I know alot of parents get that fear of someone reporting for abuse. My nephew' s teacher told the class one day that parents were not allowed to raise their voices or spank their childeren as it is a sign of abuse. Or they were not allowed to ground their childeren as it was a form of imprisinment. What kind of teacher is that??? And the kids know that all they have to do is call the police if they get mad at their parents. When did the control get passed over to the kids???
I saw a lady in a store one day and she was haveing problems with her son and she was giving him heck and he bit her. She spanked him in the store. Not hard but enough he felt it. Another man in the store stopped and told her she didn't need to spank her son.
Alot of times it goes both ways

Yeah, that's pretty scary when you are giving kids say in their own discipline. If kids had their way, they would never get punished or disciplined.

Diamondsmum
April 8th, 2009, 01:01 PM
wow I can sooo relate..

My kids got compliments from everyone when we were out.. we had (kinda still do "Good kids get Good treats" and I never once had a tantrum or a yelling match or even a look fom them whenever we were out.

When my hubby & I got together my kids were 3 & 1 or so.. As part of me (being a package deal) I gave him full reins in all aspects of raising them. From compliments to discipline. As any Dad should.. They have grown up with alot of respect for my hubby. I have friends whose kids are blended families & often the "step-mom/dad" is Shown NO respect and if they try to discipline even if its just saying. NO to Mcdonalds it ended up in a "You NOT My Real dad/mom my real Dad/ mom will buy it for me. You cant tell me what to do!"

I am a strong believer in respect from kids. Taught early on.
I may of been not the norm when it came to my hubby & our agreement when we got together but I can tell you it worked for us.

ancientgirl
April 8th, 2009, 01:34 PM
I am a strong believer in respect from kids. Taught early on.
I may of been not the norm when it came to my hubby & our agreement when we got together but I can tell you it worked for us.

I think if you are asking someone to accept your kids that you already have, it's important to allow this person to help you show them what is right and wrong. The kids should respect that person and know they are part of their lives.

I think what you did was well done.

want4rain
April 8th, 2009, 04:42 PM
Lol, I can so relate :D. I used to send Sandman to the park next door to where we used to live as a punishment...he loved being in his room and rarely socialized with the neighbourhood children. Turns out grounding him to the park turned out to be a wonderful learning tool for him.

ROFL yes, im of the opinion that parenting takes flexibility....

whats kinds funny is i feel much the same way about other peoples' kids. cant stand them. they are spoiled snotty brats. the whole lot of them can....

anyway, im reading through this thread nodding my head. i dont think i know anyone else who is aware of how bad of an idea it is to go grocery shopping during nap time or how inappropriate it is to take your kids to a quiet, sit down restaurant when they are under age 5.

i am the only person i know of who spanks their children though i will say the THREAT of a spanking goes much farther than an actual spanking. :cool:

and follow through... oh my gosh.... you can not...

let me say this clearly-

you can not raise a child without following through.

i mean honestly....

-ash

muggsmom
April 9th, 2009, 03:56 PM
I know alot of parents get that fear of someone reporting for abuse. My nephew' s teacher told the class one day that parents were not allowed to raise their voices or spank their childeren as it is a sign of abuse. Or they were not allowed to ground their childeren as it was a form of imprisinment. What kind of teacher is that??? And the kids know that all they have to do is call the police if they get mad at their parents. When did the control get passed over to the kids???


My son pulled that stunt on me once, told me if I hit him I could go to jail. My response - "It'll be worth it, besides I could use the rest!" The subject never came up again.

I raised 3 children by myself and there's no way they would have gotten away with the stuff kids do today.

Want4rain, you are so right about following through. Once there was a neighbourhood baseball game and I told my kids that they had to clean their rooms or they couldn't go to the game. I still remember the 3 of them standing at the window watching everyone else play. I think that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It still bothers me sometimes, and they don't even remember it! I've even dragged them out of bed at 11pm because they hadn't put the garbage out, etc.

But my pet peeve are those parents that try to "communicate" with their kids.......Billy, please don't do that......Billy, Mommy asked you not to do that.......Billy, I know you're feeling frustrated right now, do you want to talk about it. I just want to walk up and SLAP Mommy!! :wall::wall: