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Dr.Phil

Bailey_
March 11th, 2009, 07:20 PM
Did anyone see the discussion on Dr.Phil today? (March 11th). Nadya Suleman was on talking about her situation....I'm curious to know what others thought about it??

cell
March 11th, 2009, 08:20 PM
Care to expand for those who did not see the show and may or may not have an opinion on what was being discussed?

TacoGrl
March 11th, 2009, 08:49 PM
I try to not watch Dr. Phil...he is awfully pompous...just not my cup of tea...I liked him in the beginning though...

Having said that, please do tell! :D

Bailey_
March 11th, 2009, 09:11 PM
Haha, Actually I can't stand him anymore either. I watched because I'm interested in her story.

The episode focused around trying to get an understanding of how shes planning on supporting her babies, which was essentially through that Angels network. I found it interesting that they are going to use 12 different nurses and plan on mimicking every aspect of Nadya so that the babies don't get confused. (Using her tshirts to swaddle, feeding and burping the way Nadya does.) I'm just not sure how effective that will be.

Nadya also made it very clear she never has plans on marrying, and wants to be a nun. She said that she thinks its best for her kids to do so.

Thats basically what I wanted others thoughts on? Agree, disagree?

happycats
March 11th, 2009, 09:17 PM
Nadya should have been spayed 11 children ago!! :rolleyes:

She's single, has no job, couldn't handle the 6 kids she had....so have 8 freakin more!!

She is living in a fantasy world so so far out of touch with reality, she has no clue.

she had 38 weeks to prepare for these babies, and had not done one thing !! no cribs, strollers, car seats....not even a single diaper did she buy.....and when questioned about it she said....."I believe things will fall into place when the time comes" WTF!!! diapers and all the other stuff is going to fall from the freakin sky??!!

It's amazing how she could spend money on plastic surgery for herself....but not diapers for her babies?!

IMO these babies would be better off if they were all adopted out.....but Nadya is way to selfish for that.

I believe the doctor who "impregnated" her should be made to pay child support for these 8 babies, as he knew her circumstanes, and Nadya's mother begged him not to do it, and he did anyway....make the quack pay for it!!

MommaKat
March 11th, 2009, 10:04 PM
I watched it but I turned when she was getting all that free stuff and she was kind of nit picking a little about wanting carpet, not hard wood floors or something :rolleyes: .

It really bothers me that people are trying to help her and she does not seem to appreciate it or even really acknowledge how much help she is going to need to raise all 14 kids. I think because of that people will continue to look at how irresponsible and selfish she is and the help that she claims she does not need or want will no longer be there for her.

Dracko
March 11th, 2009, 10:21 PM
Nadya should have been spayed 11 children ago!!

:laughing::laughing::thumbs up

TacoGrl
March 11th, 2009, 11:03 PM
Haha, Actually I can't stand him anymore either. I watched because I'm interested in her story.

The episode focused around trying to get an understanding of how shes planning on supporting her babies, which was essentially through that Angels network. I found it interesting that they are going to use 12 different nurses and plan on mimicking every aspect of Nadya so that the babies don't get confused. (Using her tshirts to swaddle, feeding and burping the way Nadya does.) I'm just not sure how effective that will be.

Nadya also made it very clear she never has plans on marrying, and wants to be a nun. She said that she thinks its best for her kids to do so.

Thats basically what I wanted others thoughts on? Agree, disagree?


Thx :thumbs up

Ok...first, why IS she getting the help from that Angels network??? I have met many a mother who could have used a helper or two...working during the day, school at night and no one around to help them, but themselves. :frustrated: Oh and what exactly will she be doing when these helpers are there that her kids would be confused as to who their mother is? I thought they were there to HELP her, not DO THE WORK FOR HER so she can go shopping!

Not to be rude, but what man is going to want to hook up with her anyway? Never mind that she is a nutcase, but holey instant family!!! She would probably only have MORE children with him anyway, so let's hope she stays single.

I heard on a local news show this morning that she is trying to get the sperm donor to have a relationship with the kids?!? I guess if there is enough money in it for him he'll do it :rolleyes:

Bailey_
March 12th, 2009, 12:35 AM
OMG, I had no idea that she didn't buy a single thing!! What a weirdo. :loser:

I agree, I don't know why the Angel network is helping her, but I maybe they are more concerned about making sure those babies are okay rather than letting Nadya and essentially the babies suffer?

I agree - I think that doctor needs to own up to what he did! You don't see my surgeon agreeing to sew eight arms onto me, do you? :laughing:

ancientgirl
March 12th, 2009, 10:31 AM
"I believe things will fall into place when the time comes"

Translation: People will be so intrigued with my story and feel so sorry for me, they will buy me everything I need.

MommaKat - Yeah, she must really now know what it's like to take care of kids because carpet is the last thing you want around, wood floors are way easier to keep clean.

I don't watch Dr. Phil, I don't care for him, but this story interests me. It interests me because this is just another case of someone who thinks she's entitled to a free ride. Society is not responsible for raising those children, she is. However, since it's painfully obvious she can't do that, either emotionally nor monetarily, she should do what is in the kids best interest and find suitable homes for them. There are plenty of people who can't have children of their own.

The only reason she isn't doing this is because she's not having to pay for anything herself. If she had to pay for everything she needs for those babies, and if the media coverage stopped, I've no doubt she'd be looking for homes for these children very quickly.

Love4himies
March 12th, 2009, 10:44 AM
You are so right, AG. People for some reason have a sense of entitlement and think others should have to go to work to pay taxes for their children. Would be a whole different story if there was no welfare.

What the world was this doctor thinking????? To me it is not ethical to bring children into the world knowing that the mother can't care for them. Or maybe he was thinking, she paid me for a service, I provide it, it is her responsibility what happens later. No different that her going out and getting pregnant by men except you can have 8 immediately rather than 1 or 2 at a time.

ancientgirl
March 12th, 2009, 10:49 AM
What the world was this doctor thinking?????

I don't know about Canada, but here in the US in many places, if a bartender keeps giving you alcohol knowing you are drunk, then allows you to leave that way, he is in part responsible for what happens to you after you leave.

This, to me, is no different.

Chris21711
March 12th, 2009, 10:57 AM
I don't know about Canada, but here in the US in many places, if a bartender keeps giving you alcohol knowing you are drunk, then allows you to leave that way, he is in part responsible for what happens to you after you leave.
.

It is the same here in Ontario AG, right now there is a case going on, even the owners of the bar are being charged and they were not on the premises at the time.

ancientgirl
March 12th, 2009, 11:08 AM
Chris, wow even the owners? It doesn't surprise me though. While I believe that one should be responsible for their own actions, I think that as a society we also need to watch out for others, especially if their actions may directly or indirectly affect us.

If someone leaves a bar drunk, after being given drink after drink, goes out and kills some poor soul minding their own business, I think there are many who need to answer to that. If you are going to be an enabler, then you should hold a certain amount of the responsibility.

kiara
March 12th, 2009, 01:20 PM
My opinion is that having even one child out of wedlock is not a good idea, let alone so many. This woman sounds like she in either bi-polar or manic depressive, she is definitely mentally ill. When people have sixtuplets they get all kinds of stuff for free and they DESPERATELY need it. Does it really matter under what circumstances these babies came into this world? (Her doctor should be held acccountable for his actions!!)The babies are here now and beating up on the mother is not going to solve the problem, it will only hurt the babies. We cannot turn back the clock, so I hope that this panel will get a reality check that these babies need help. She is already totaly exhausted from raising six children alone. No husband, no job and she wants to be a phychologist, she definitely needs one herself. Now I hear that she wants to be a nun? The Dr. Phil show is giving her the needed exposure and she will have to rely on peoples' generosity and the Angel Network (and thank God that this network exists!), as she has no means to support herself. A very stupid and extremely selfish woman, to get herself into such a situation, especially since already her three children have special needs! Your tax dollars will have to pay for their care in the future. I enjoy the Dr. Phil show, I find it entertaining.

ancientgirl
March 12th, 2009, 01:32 PM
The babies are here now and beating up on the mother is not going to solve the problem, it will only hurt the babies. We cannot turn back the clock, so I hope that this panel will get a reality check that these babies need help. She is already totaly exhausted from raising six children alone.

Kiara, I think we are all living in a pretty good reality, so no need for checking over here.

This woman has put herself out there. She has a website asking for donations, so in my mind she is fair game. She wants the publics money, yet we are not allowed to question her decision or her motives? Doesn't work for me.

Believe me, no matter how much she's beaten up by the media, those children will not suffer for it. They are the victims here, not her. I'm sure they will have many advocates for their well being.

And she's far from exhausted. Her mother has been taking care of her first 6, she has friends and a network of nannies to help her. There is video of her going to get her nails done not long ago, she's having many interviews, she's thinking about going to school and now becoming a nun.

She may be exhausted from other things, but taking care of her children isn't one of them.

Just my opinion.

TacoGrl
March 12th, 2009, 02:04 PM
:thumbs up ancientgirl!

Love4himies
March 12th, 2009, 02:27 PM
She shouldn't have brought them into this world if she didn't have the means (financially or emotionally) to do so. It is not doing her children any favours.

happycats
March 12th, 2009, 02:48 PM
:thumbs up ancientgirl!


Ditto :thumbs up

SHE needs a reality check not us.
And if she raises those kids in her little fantasy world, lord help us all!

Your right the kids shouldn't have to suffer.......so adopt them all out ! That would be the best thing for them.

Winston
March 12th, 2009, 04:32 PM
Did anyone see her father being interviewed by Oprah? He begged the doctor to not keep doing this after 3 kids and then 4 kids?? WTF is wrong with this doctor?

Cindy

14+kitties
March 12th, 2009, 05:12 PM
I have been avoiding watching anything to do with this woman because personally she makes me ill. Out of curiosity I watched the first part of the second show on Dr Phil. They went to the hospital to see the children. After I watched her watching to make sure the camera was on her before she said anything or put on hand on those children she "loves so much" I couldn't watch any more. Sickening. And so very very sad for those children. All 14 of them.

Bailey_
March 12th, 2009, 06:02 PM
Did anyone see her father being interviewed by Oprah? He begged the doctor to not keep doing this after 3 kids and then 4 kids?? WTF is wrong with this doctor?

Cindy

AMEN! :thumbs up

lUvMyLaB<3
March 12th, 2009, 06:49 PM
I don't think she said she wants to be a nun! this is how these crazy rumours about her get started.. she said she doesn't want to have a man in her life, it would be selfish, her kids need her. so she has decided to be celibit and live LIKE a nun.

I think she seemed very appreciative of the services offered. And the only thing about carpet I heard was that she said that was what she was thinking of doing to the babies room, getting some carpet but just something modest. It was when they were telling her what the people were offering her. She seemed genuinely appreciative to me.

I feel bad for her. I think she made crappy choices, but the babies are here now she needs help so the babies can have a life they deserve.. Foster care is not an option, there is NO WAY that they could have a better life, foster care is a disaster in itself, not much good comes out of it. I think it is better to help and keep them together. HOWEVER I don't think she needs tonnes and tonnes of fancy stuff, like the designer nursery but I guess that company is offering it to her on the Dr. Phil show to advertise for themselves, that nursery will be on his show a zillion times so they are going to benifit. I think she should be given help, but not enough that she has to do nothing, I think she will prove a lot of people wrong though, that is what I pray for anyway....

TacoGrl
March 12th, 2009, 08:28 PM
I think she will prove a lot of people wrong though, that is what I pray for anyway....


I hope you are right for the kids' sake cuz right now she is sure looking like not the sharpest pencil in the box.

Luvmypitgirls
March 13th, 2009, 11:41 AM
I think the only ones in need of a reality check are Nadya and Dr. Phil.

While I have sympathy for the plight of all 14 children, I have absolutely no sympathy for Nadya whatsoever.

I think all and any monetary donations should be placed in trust for the children, and not a trust set up by Nadya.

ancientgirl
March 13th, 2009, 12:58 PM
I think the only ones in need of a reality check are Nadya and Dr. Phil.

While I have sympathy for the plight of all 14 children, I have absolutely no sympathy for Nadya whatsoever.

I think all and any monetary donations should be placed in trust for the children, and not a trust set up by Nadya.

Good point. The money people send in are for the kids and she shouldn't have any part of managing that.

want4rain
March 13th, 2009, 01:06 PM
i think Dr Phil had it right-

"I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to meet these babies and understand that this is really all about them," he told his audience. "They are the ones who really need our care and support."

cant undo whats happened. its a real shame that its such a news spectacle... just encourages more to do stupid things like this. the doctor should loose his license for this. or be penalized at least. this is a real case of ethics. i understand an individuals right to reproduction but there are background checks for sperm donation and fertilization... just as there are for bringing a child home under unusual circumstances.


kiarai bristle a little at the comment about having children out of wedlock. i dont think that has anything to do with this... i understand thats probably a thread of its own... just had to mention it.

-ashley

happycats
March 13th, 2009, 01:21 PM
kiarai bristle a little at the comment about having children out of wedlock. i dont think that has anything to do with this... i understand thats probably a thread of its own... just had to mention it.

-ashley

I think she means, having 14 kids by sperm donation, no man around at all to help financially or otherwise.

Also denying children a father is pretty selfish.

Also many people still believe that children should be born within "wedlock", nothing wrong with that :shrug:

glasslass
March 13th, 2009, 04:07 PM
I understand that her second Public Relations agent just threw in the towel with comments implying that "her incredible greediness" was one of the issues they quit.

chico2
March 13th, 2009, 05:23 PM
I don't watch Dr Phil,but what I've read about her makes me ill,instead of spending $100.000 on invitro(sp?)she should have used that money to take proper care of the 3 disabled kids she has and the others.
She did recieve $150.000 for an insurance-claim and used it for cosmetic surgery and to make more kids,that's just sick,IMO.
I don't understand why she did this,but I am certain it's not for the love of children.
She now has been given a $500.000 home,which is good for the kids plus all the help she needs,for now,what happens later?
Honestly I think she wanted to have her 15min of fame and all the monies that involves.
She'll have articles in all the magazines,such as the Enquierer(sp?),The Globe,The Star,etc,etc...and make plenty of money.

want4rain
March 14th, 2009, 11:33 AM
I think she means, having 14 kids by sperm donation, no man around at all to help financially or otherwise.

Also denying children a father is pretty selfish.

Also many people still believe that children should be born within "wedlock", nothing wrong with that :shrug:

i dont think the first two are dependent on being wed. :) nor do i feel it takes a woman and a MAN to ahve a child. perhaps to conceive and carry one yes but not raise one.

denying the children a safe, stable and loving home is a crime. i think our 'community' as a whole is coping with this womans mistakes the best they can. to deny care or charity (i dont think anyone has suggested that BTW) would be to deny the children that.

WELL frankly, IMHO being a nut job and reproducing is a crime. -sheepish- hopefully the kids will not use that as an excuse to be nut jobs themselves when they grow up. -somewhat wan smile- im all about a spay and neuter program.

-ashley

kiara
March 14th, 2009, 12:48 PM
Just my opinion. This story is very much about women having children out of wedlock and there are actually a lot of them everywhere, on welfare and no husband ( and our tax dollars are helping them, for making the wrong choices in their lives !!!) A father, by the way is a very important part of a child's development. She is a very determined person, surely a one of a kind as she wants to make herself happy by using her own children?? Her parents watching helplessly as she is still wanting more after having already six, three with special needs. The last in-vitro was supposed to probably produce just one child, but God had other ideas. Now she has to only think about SURVIVAL, as even she did not realize that eight would "take". She will be judged for the rest of her life for creating this bizzare situation and she will cash - in on the octuplets. Actually, my husband thinks that all of her children should be taken away by the state, because she cannot provide a stable home life for them. What's wrong with the Dr. Phil show, I think he is trying to help her and other people?? He is a psychologist and has thirty years of experience in human problems.

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 04:00 PM
Just my opinion. This story is very much about women having children out of wedlock and there are actually a lot of them everywhere, on welfare and no husband ( and our tax dollars are helping them, for making the wrong choices in their lives !!!) A father, by the way is a very important part of a child's development. She is a very determined person, surely a one of a kind as she wants to make herself happy by using her own children?? Her parents watching helplessly as she is still wanting more after having already six, three with special needs. The last in-vitro was supposed to probably produce just one child, but God had other ideas. Now she has to only think about SURVIVAL, as even she did not realize that eight would "take". She will be judged for the rest of her life for creating this bizzare situation and she will cash - in on the octuplets. Actually, my husband thinks that all of her children should be taken away by the state, because she cannot provide a stable home life for them. What's wrong with the Dr. Phil show, I think he is trying to help her and other people?? He is a psychologist and has thirty years of experience in human problems.


WOAH. Making wrong choices in their lives for having a child without being married?!? That is such a naive and iggnorant comment, I'm shocked to have read that.

A child does not need a father to have a stable man figure in their life. Nor is a woman at fault for bringing a child into this world without being married. There are LOTS of families (with husbands) that are on welfare - to point the finger at a single parent family is so disgusting, it makes me sick!

I'm so appalled by this comment...:frustrated:

Dr.Phil is an over-publicized man who has become a glorified Jerry Springer. I used to love watching him, but now the shows and situations he promotes are rather predictable.

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 06:06 PM
WOAH. Making wrong choices in their lives for having a child without being married?!? That is such a naive and iggnorant comment, I'm shocked to have read that.

A child does not need a father to have a stable man figure in their life. Nor is a woman at fault for bringing a child into this world without being married. There are LOTS of families (with husbands) that are on welfare - to point the finger at a single parent family is so disgusting, it makes me sick!

I'm so appalled by this comment...:frustrated:

Dr.Phil is an over-publicized man who has become a glorified Jerry Springer. I used to love watching him, but now the shows and situations he promotes are rather predictable.

An ideal home for any child is with a loving mother AND father.

And yes I too believe having a baby without a "babies daddy" around and expecting the tax payors to support you IS a WRONG/BAD dicision.

lUvMyLaB<3
March 14th, 2009, 06:17 PM
it is shocking to me to hear people say that she did this for fame and for cashing in on the octuplits.. that seems pretty far fetched. It was such a ridiculous possibility to think that 6 embryos would turn into 8 that it is considerd impossible. She had implanted 6 before and got one and two. Her doctor told her to only expect one. So there is no way she could have forseen this. Her plan ( not a good plan mind you ) was to have one more baby and use her embryos that she had frozen that she felt she had an obligation to as they were her babies. She would then continue to live like she was, she would not have been on t.v. and been given any help, she knew this. God has a plan for all children he creates. She did not do this for fame or money or anything else. The doctor should be getting the heat for this not her. I think she seems like a loving and caring mother. The situation sucks but it is what it is, we cannot go backwards.

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 06:18 PM
An ideal home for any child is with a loving mother AND father.

And yes I too believe having a baby without a "babies daddy" around and expecting the tax payors to support you IS a WRONG/BAD dicision.

I agree - expecting everyone else to support you and your children is not fair - for both the children for whom are looking up to you as a role model, and society as a whole. However that is absolutley not the point I got from the sentence : "This story is very much about women having children out of wedlock and there are actually a lot of them everywhere, on welfare and no husband ( and our tax dollars are helping them, for making the wrong choices in their lives !!!)"

Kiara, that sentence seems very callous. As though you look down upon those who choose to have their child when the other person is not in the picture (or often times leaves after the fact), and needs government help - which I do not believe should be looked down upon. That's how I feel. I don't believe that the average single mom is anywhere close to making the huge mistake of Nadya - who had six children, barely supporting THOSE, and then deciding to have more. That is what I believe was the problem, whether or not she had one more or eight....not the single moms everywhere else.

But I HIGHLY disagree that the 'ideal' home is with a mother *and* father. There can still be very solid male influences in a childs life without needing the title of 'father' or 'husband'. To say that it's a "wrong choice" when a woman decides to have her baby out of wedlock is terrible; and really stabs at the hard work single parents everywhere have done to create a wonderful home for their children, regardless of whether or not the other partner is in the picture. :sad:

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 07:19 PM
I agree - expecting everyone else to support you and your children is not fair - for both the children for whom are looking up to you as a role model, and society as a whole. However that is absolutley not the point I got from the sentence : "This story is very much about women having children out of wedlock and there are actually a lot of them everywhere, on welfare and no husband ( and our tax dollars are helping them, for making the wrong choices in their lives !!!)"

Kiara, that sentence seems very callous. As though you look down upon those who choose to have their child when the other person is not in the picture (or often times leaves after the fact), and needs government help - which I do not believe should be looked down upon. That's how I feel. I don't believe that the average single mom is anywhere close to making the huge mistake of Nadya - who had six children, barely supporting THOSE, and then deciding to have more. That is what I believe was the problem, whether or not she had one more or eight....not the single moms everywhere else.

But I HIGHLY disagree that the 'ideal' home is with a mother *and* father. There can still be very solid male influences in a childs life without needing the title of 'father' or 'husband'. To say that it's a "wrong choice" when a woman decides to have her baby out of wedlock is terrible; and really stabs at the hard work single parents everywhere have done to create a wonderful home for their children, regardless of whether or not the other partner is in the picture. :sad:


Ask any expert, ask any child from a broken home who didn't have their father around, and I'm sure they will all agree......An ideal home for any child is with a loving mother and father. It has been proven, that this is the case. How can you expect a child with no father in the picture to grow up without some kind of hang up? They always wonder why? Why didn't daddy love me enough to be here. What is wrong with me, there must be something wrong with me, if my own daddy doesn't see me. Children always find a way to blame themselves for one or both parents not being there.

Even with other good male role models......they are NOT the father, and the children know that, and will always question why.

I'm not bashing single moms, as many became single through no fault of there own, but I believe to knowingly have a child without a father is selfish.

want4rain
March 14th, 2009, 09:36 PM
well, my last word on this sort of off topic....

having been a single mother who CHOSE to leave the father working insane hours waiting tables and not asking for government support outside of health insurance (for my child)....

it does -not- take a FATHER in the picture to make a healthy well balanced child.


speaking as a child of no less than -three- parents (mother, father, stepmother), i would have rather done with out 2 of them and would probably be healthier emotionally had i not had ANY of them.


a loving, caring, intelligent and attentive parent beats any sort of social constriction out there.


and lets not forget a daddy isnt needed if only because another woman is just as capable as being loving, caring, intelligent and attentive.







but we arent talking abot that. we are talking about a woman who chose and paid for this procedure on top of not having the money to care for the FIRST 6 children she had.


nutty is just plain nutty!! intelligent and attentive is apparently missing!!! the simple facts are she choose this, couldnt afford it and is now on TV asking for someone to financially bail her out. this isnt John and Kate + 8.

-ashley

edit-

Even with other good male role models......they are NOT the father, and the children know that, and will always question why.

I'm not bashing single moms, as many became single through no fault of there own, but I believe to knowingly have a child without a father is selfish.


i promise you, my daughter is a hundred times healthier of mind, spirit and heart with her step father than she is with her father- and even more healthier due to the male friends in my life.

(i dont mean to sound half as antagonistic in this and it looks -sheepish- just not in a frame of mind right now to dig up some more tactful way of putting it, hope you forgive me for not sounding a little nicer abotu it, dont mean to sound snotty!!!)

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 10:20 PM
not snotty W4R, it's your opinion, and you have a right to it :thumbs up
just a friendly discussion, and some differences of opinions, thats all, it's all good :)

Yes, we are talking about some whack job, who has no business bringing 8 more children into the world.
She's a twit looking for attention and money, and has no clue!
spends her money on plastic surgery (instead of her kids) so she can look like angelina Jolie!! I think she so twisted, she thinks she is her.

TacoGrl
March 14th, 2009, 10:29 PM
it is shocking to me to hear people say that she did this for fame and for cashing in on the octuplits.. that seems pretty far fetched. It was such a ridiculous possibility to think that 6 embryos would turn into 8 that it is considerd impossible. She had implanted 6 before and got one and two. Her doctor told her to only expect one. So there is no way she could have forseen this. Her plan ( not a good plan mind you ) was to have one more baby and use her embryos that she had frozen that she felt she had an obligation to as they were her babies. She would then continue to live like she was, she would not have been on t.v. and been given any help, she knew this. God has a plan for all children he creates. She did not do this for fame or money or anything else. The doctor should be getting the heat for this not her. I think she seems like a loving and caring mother. The situation sucks but it is what it is, we cannot go backwards.


Even having ONE child in her situation is just plain silliness. :rolleyes: Again, where did she get the money to have so many invetros instead of using it to properly raise the children she already had. :frustrated:


As for the debate on single mothers...I am VERY conservative in this area (which also explains my view of this nutcase)...I come from a single mother family and I chose to not bring a child into this world without it having a father. There are so many scenerios as to why women become single mothers...personally, I believe the majority of those are avoidable.

I am always amazed when people react negatively to traditional views...there is absolutely nothing wrong with people having different views on the same subject.

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 10:39 PM
well, my last word on this sort of off topic....

having been a single mother who CHOSE to leave the father working insane hours waiting tables and not asking for government support outside of health insurance (for my child)....

it does -not- take a FATHER in the picture to make a healthy well balanced child.

speaking as a child of no less than -three- parents (mother, father, stepmother), i would have rather done with out 2 of them and would probably be healthier emotionally had i not had ANY of them.

a loving, caring, intelligent and attentive parent beats any sort of social constriction out there.

and lets not forget a daddy isnt needed if only because another woman is just as capable as being loving, caring, intelligent and attentive.



I absolutley agree!!!!! :thumbs up

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 10:44 PM
Ask any expert, ask any child from a broken home who didn't have their father around, and I'm sure they will all agree......An ideal home for any child is with a loving mother and father. It has been proven, that this is the case. How can you expect a child with no father in the picture to grow up without some kind of hang up? They always wonder why? Why didn't daddy love me enough to be here. What is wrong with me, there must be something wrong with me, if my own daddy doesn't see me. Children always find a way to blame themselves for one or both parents not being there.

Even with other good male role models......they are NOT the father, and the children know that, and will always question why.

I'm not bashing single moms, as many became single through no fault of there own, but I believe to knowingly have a child without a father is selfish.

Well, Happycat, I respectfully disagree. I don't believe that EVERY child will grow up with hangups when there is not a father or a mother in the home to raise them. In fact, I know many a child that are bratty, undisciplined, out of control, dealing with many issues; with BOTH parents around.
To say that every child born without a father is not going to be a strong, confident person without childhood quams and issues is ridiculous, in my opinion, no offence. Especially if that father is a terrible role model and a worse parent figure.

However, like I mentioned before, I don't agree with Nadya's decision. She had six children and still decided to purposely have more children, with the very real knowledge that she could have multiples. That is where I don't agree with her situation.

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 10:45 PM
Even having ONE child in her situation is just plain silliness. :rolleyes: Again, where did she get the money to have so many invetros instead of using it to properly raise the children she already had. :frustrated:


As for the debate on single mothers...I am VERY conservative in this area (which also explains my view of this nutcase)...I come from a single mother family and I chose to not bring a child into this world without it having a father. There are so many scenerios as to why women become single mothers...personally, I believe the majority of those are avoidable.
I know many people who came from broken homes, raised by single mothers, and not one of them would ever wish it on their own child/ren.
I also believe many single mother scenarios are avoidable



I am always amazed when people react negatively to traditional views...there is absolutely nothing wrong with people having different views on the same subject.

very well posted......I don't understand the negativety either :shrug:
What wrong/bad with being married with children :shrug:

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 10:50 PM
I know many people who came from broken homes, raised by single mothers, and not one of them would ever wish it on their own child/ren.
I also believe many single mother scenarios are avoidable


very well posted......I don't understand the negativety either :shrug:
What wrong/bad with being married with children :shrug:

:) There's nothing wrong with being married with children - and in fact, I'm feeling the negativity more towards single parents than I am about married couples with children.

This subject on the single parent thing rests heavy on my heart as I've seen my sister go through this very thing. And no, her situation was NOT avoidable.
I am just simply surprised at the lack of understanding that is apparently out there towards single moms. Didn't see that one coming at all..:confused:

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 11:01 PM
Well, Happycat, I respectfully disagree. I don't believe that EVERY child will grow up with hangups when there is not a father or a mother in the home to raise them. In fact, I know many a child that are bratty, undisciplined, out of control, dealing with many issues; with BOTH parents around.
To say that every child born without a father is not going to be a strong, confident person without childhood quams and issues is ridiculous, in my opinion, no offence. Especially if that father is a terrible role model and a worse parent figure.

I never said "every" child born without a father is not going to be a strong, confident person without childhood quams and issues.

I just believe a child born without a father is more disadvantaged then one born with one.

I'm saying it's not the best thing for a child, the best is to have both parents......and if the father is a terrible role model or a terrible person....why would any women "breed" and have babies with him in the first place?
I think a women who makes babies with men who are horrible and terrible role models, are either selfish or stupid, or both.

I believe so many women don't take having babies seriously, and don't take time to find a "good" father/role model, before making babies, and many are not prepared emotionaly or fianacially.


However, like I mentioned before, I don't agree with Nadya's decision. She had six children and still decided to purposely have more children, with the very real knowledge that she could have multiples. That is where I don't agree with her situation.

she's just plain nuts :crazy:

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 11:05 PM
:) There's nothing wrong with being married with children - and in fact, I'm feeling the negativity more towards single parents than I am about married couples with children.

This subject on the single parent thing rests heavy on my heart as I've seen my sister go through this very thing. And no, her situation was NOT avoidable.
I am just simply surprised at the lack of understanding that is apparently out there towards single moms. Didn't see that one coming at all..:confused:

I have nothing against single mothers who are unavoidably single. I do though with women who chose to be single mothers or who
knowingly have babies with terrible/irresponsible/loser men.

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 11:12 PM
I never said "every" child born without a father is not going to be a strong, confident person without childhood quams and issues.

I just believe a child born without a father is more disadvantaged then one born with one.

I'm saying it's not the best thing for a child, the best is to have both parents......and if the father is a terrible role model or a terrible person....why would any women "breed" and have babies with him in the first place?
I think a women who makes babies with men who are horrible and terrible role models, are either selfish or stupid, or both.

I believe so many women don't take having babies seriously, and don't take time to find a "good" father/role model, before making babies, and many are not prepared emotionaly or fianacially.



she's just plain nuts :crazy:

Not every man shows himself to be a loser during a relationship until certain 'stresses' and 'responsibilities' are put into reality. Not every relationship is supposed to result in a child, but accidents DO happen, whether or not the man and woman are being 'safe'. There are sooooo many different situations and scenario's about how our children are brought into this world, and I think many women do a wonderful job raising happy and content kids. Sure, there are those (like Nadya) that you want to bonk on the head; but there are others who do everything to ensure their babies have the best life possible - despite the fact that there may or may not be a 'daddy' involved. And those children do not lack, just because they are being raised by a single parent.

In my sisters situation, she was involved with her partner for five years - they were married - they had two children - and then her husband began to have a serious gambling problem. The gambling led to alcholism, which led to some seriously bad family situations that I'd rather not get into on this forum. She stayed with that loser much longer than she should've, tried many forms of councilling with him, and when she noticed how much stress her children were under - how depressed her older son was becoming - she made the hard choice to leave.
Both of her children, and herself, are much happier now that their father is out of the picture. And wouldn't you know it - as soon as they were gone, his visits became less and less, as did his phonecalls. It's been three years since she left, and not only do the kids not see him anymore; they don't WANT too. That's not their mother saying that - it's them.

So my point is that I can say firmly, and through experience, not every single parent situation is bad. Sometimes, it's for the best. Many times, its the best case for the children.
A woman who gets involved with someone who turns out to be a loser is NOT selfish or stupid. She just fell in love, with the wrong guy.

Bailey_
March 14th, 2009, 11:13 PM
I have nothing against single mothers who are unavoidably single. I do though with women who chose to be single mothers or who
knowingly have babies with terrible/irresponsible/loser men.

Okay - I agree with you there. :thumbs up

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 11:18 PM
Okay - I agree with you there. :thumbs up

see we don't always disagree :) besides the board would be boring if we all agreed about everything all the time.

TacoGrl
March 14th, 2009, 11:50 PM
Geesh! Grab a bite to eat and miss out! :D

Yes, I agree some situations are unavoidable...most aren't.

I also agree that women need to be chosier as to who they lay down with...think if they would make a good father or not...society has gotten a tad too liberal for my liking..fewer consequences = less thought put into actions. It seems like "do it if it feels good" is the mantra to live by now and I am tired of it and I am tired of having to defend my morals...it should be the other way around...these "happy-go-lucky" people should be explaining to me why I am paying for THEIR kids and other bad choices they make.

happycats
March 14th, 2009, 11:54 PM
Geesh! Grab a bite to eat and miss out! :D

Yes, I agree some situations are unavoidable...most aren't.

I also agree that women need to be chosier as to who they lay down with...think if they would make a good father or not...society has gotten a tad too liberal for my liking..fewer consequences = less thought put into actions. It seems like "do it if it feels good" is the mantra to live by now and I am tired of it and I am tired of having to defend my morals...it should be the other way around...these "happy-go-lucky" people should be explaining to me why I am paying for THEIR kids and other bad choices they make.

I too agree that it has gotten too liberal. and society is suffering because of it.

chico2
March 15th, 2009, 08:57 AM
I grew up with a single mom,after a divorce,my mom was left destitute with me being 4yrs old.
She had health-problems,lived on welfare the times she could not work,but she instilled in me better values than many of the kids today.
My goal was,when I grew up make a better life for my mom,mind you this was a long time ago...and it did not happen,she died young.

There are single moms that really rile me,living in subsidized housing,often having several children with different fathers,each child will get her more money from welfare.
One child might have been as a result of ignorance or sloppiness,but any more is just irresponsible,unless you have a steady job,able to support your children.

To me,this woman had $150.000 which would have gone a long way towards her existing 6 children and I agree,even one more would have been wrong in her situation.
I feel for those 14 kids and what will happen to them in the future,when the sensationalism is gone,they are the innocents in this scenario,the mother in my opinion is a real nut-job.

14+kitties
March 15th, 2009, 09:06 AM
Very well said chico! :thumbs up

ancientgirl
March 15th, 2009, 11:43 AM
Chico, your mother was an amazing person.

You know, just because there is a mother AND father in a home, doesn't necessarily mean that child will grown up well. What if the father or mother is abusive, or neglectful or just has no clue about what they are doing?

I have a friend going through a divorce right now. She's got 3 young children and will now be raising them on her own. Why? Because this "loving" father has been living a secret life. He's been having affairs with women AND men. He's spend hundreds of thousands of dollars without her knowledge on this lifestyle and he's using drugs and even passed on an STD to my friend.

So you see, sometimes having a man in your life and your childrens lives isn't exactly the best thing in the world.

TacoGrl
March 15th, 2009, 05:15 PM
It is true that relationships end and women are left alone with the kids...some men too. Why is that? *My opinion* is that it goes back to the lack of censequences for doing whatever feels good instead of doing what is right. A lot of people don't even try anymore. Sure, there are the extremes...I am not saying if a spouse beats the other one, they should stick it out! I am saying that simply thinking "is this action going to hurt someone" before doing it, may actually make a relationship stronger and provide the kids with a good role model.

Single mothers have it hard and some of them do great things with the challenge, but why go through that deliberately? It all boils down to choices when the extremes are removed from the equation.

BenMax
March 16th, 2009, 11:09 AM
I don't watch Dr Phil,but what I've read about her makes me ill,instead of spending $100.000 on invitro(sp?)she should have used that money to take proper care of the 3 disabled kids she has and the others.
She did recieve $150.000 for an insurance-claim and used it for cosmetic surgery and to make more kids,that's just sick,IMO.
I don't understand why she did this,but I am certain it's not for the love of children.
She now has been given a $500.000 home,which is good for the kids plus all the help she needs,for now,what happens later?
Honestly I think she wanted to have her 15min of fame and all the monies that involves.
She'll have articles in all the magazines,such as the Enquierer(sp?),The Globe,The Star,etc,etc...and make plenty of money.

I agree. She is going to be a leach for the rest of her life. She took this opportunity to make money (tabloids) because she wants an easy life (yes even with that many kids - because she knows everything will be handled by someone). So sorry that the public appears sympathetic towards her - she is a parasite.

lia12
March 16th, 2009, 03:18 PM
Have to agree with most of you here. This woman should have all those kids taken away from her. Why should she have brought children in this world only to exploit and be rewarded for stupidity. Our tax dollars will be supporting those children anyway so why should the money be handed to someone as greedy as her, the kids probably will never see their share of that money.
That's sp like one woman I know who has 3 kids but her and hubby were living on welfare yet spent the money on dogs, cats, ferrets etc. The kids were their paycheque and were abused besides that. The system finally got wise and took the kids away to place them in foster. Our tax $$$ are still supporting those kids but at least they'll have a decent home.
Unfortunately the parents are still being supported by us, every excuse in the book not to get off their fat behinds and get jobs. And our tax $$$ are still helping support the animals...feels great to watchthis while we bust our butt trying to earn a decent living....

And for what it's worth, the docotr who implanted those eight embryos has had his licence revoked. Too bad it didn't happen before the octuplets were born.

Bailey_
March 16th, 2009, 04:11 PM
And for what it's worth, the docotr who implanted those eight embryos has had his licence revoked. Too bad it didn't happen before the octuplets were born.

Really?!!?!?

GOOD!:thumbs up

want4rain
March 16th, 2009, 07:27 PM
And for what it's worth, the docotr who implanted those eight embryos has had his licence revoked. Too bad it didn't happen before the octuplets were born.

think positive!! at least it was BEFORE another irresponsible pregnancy happened!!

-ash

coppperbelle
March 16th, 2009, 07:46 PM
I can't tell you how much this case upsets me. That lady is living in a dream world. Today on Dr. Phil she said she plans to go back to school next January and that the school has told her they have made arrangements for child care for all 10 of her children. I assume the other 4 kids will be in school and won't need child care. Does she have any idea how long it will take her to get 14 kids ready in the morning!
What happens when Angels in Waiting leaves? This lady could not handle the six kids she had. I bet before long all these babies and probably her other children too will end up in foster care.

lia12
March 16th, 2009, 09:29 PM
Really?!!?!?

GOOD!:thumbs up

Yes, really, isn't that awesome that a wee bit of justice came out of this mess?

lia12
March 16th, 2009, 09:33 PM
Next January is a long time off. By then she's hoping people will have forgotten she said that. How many times have we heard people living on our tax dollars say they will be going back to school? It makes it look good, sounds good too, but it doesn't happen. She has the brain of a turtle, anyone ever see a turtle in college?

Luvmypitgirls
March 16th, 2009, 09:38 PM
I was a single mom for many years, and yes at one time for a brief amount of time I had to ask the government for help. I left a relationship that started out like heaven, and ended like hell. It was important to me to get my sons as far away from their so called father as possible.

Neither of my son's have any hang ups, and their "step father" is and has always been a far more stable positive loving role model then their biological father ever was.

As far as Nadya goes, I'm glad she's getting help, she's going to need it and it can only be beneficial to the children involved.
However, I hope that sooner than later she will disappear from the headlines.

Btw, I never once felt society should carry the burden of my children and I, but I did pay into the system, so I make no apology for accessing it, I know I paid more into it than I ever got out of it.

lia12
March 17th, 2009, 12:25 PM
Luvmypitgirl--I guess it did sound like I was dumping you all in the same barrel of fish. I should explain that I'm not against deserving people who fall on hard luck and need assistance like you did. But it's the ones who know and play the system like a roll of the dice that bother me. And as for this woman and her kids, believe me, she is not trying to better herself or going to school either. She is waiting for handouts and hoping to live a very comfy life. We have a family here who are living on disability for absolutely no reason...play the cards right and you've got it made. I was reading that she is hoping her story will be picked up by a few magazines and that they will pay handsomely for being the first to run a full article on her...sicko..probably thinks they will make some movie out of it too. Those kids will get nothing if allowed to stay with her, she's as greedy and phony as they come. Even her mother was against her and siad on t.v. that her daughter was a spoiled brat and "unbalanced".

kiara
March 17th, 2009, 01:40 PM
This woman is totally nuts and out of touch with reality. Even her own mother said that she was spoiled and "unbalanced". But who spoiled her, her mother and father, now we can all see the consequences of their actions!! These very spoiled people really suffer all their life, because they feel they can do whatever they want, any time they want and never mind the consequences of their actions, lets do what feels good!!! These babies are really the victims here, obviously!!! And since they are the only surviving octoplets in the USA today, they will be in the media for the rest of their lives. It is already becoming a media circus since Nadia has moved in. The neighbors are complaining about the noise and chaos, with all the TV stations and vans and also curious people driving around. This is not going to stop anytime soon!!! I really feel for women, who by not their choice end up alone, raising children, working, taking them swimming, soccer, etc. WHILE THE FATHERS DON'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT AND ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH THEIR NUMEROUS GIRLFRIENDS, ENJOYING THEIR MONEY WHICH SHOULD GO TO THEIR CHILDREN!!!! I AM TOTALLY OUTRAGED BY THIS BEHAVIOUR !!!

BenMax
March 17th, 2009, 02:05 PM
I have been a single mother since almost the birth of my child (almost 18 years ago). I always worked and luckily had child support from my X DH (as we always remained friends). Regardless it was very tough at times since I was the only care giver and I cannot imagine how one can juggle all these children.

Melinda
March 17th, 2009, 02:42 PM
:sorry::offtopic:32 yrs ago my big sis had a son out of wedlock, no dad in the picture, worked all her life, never took a handout, paid her own rent, never went into debt and had an account set up for the babies education, today my nephew is the married father of one gorgeous daughter, just found out another is on the way, works for the federal govt and has since he graduated from university which he paid for with the money my sis put away for him, bought and paid for his 3 bedroom home he now resides in with his wife, daughter and 3 rescue cats.

I look after the babies of single moms or low income families, yes the govt helps them with daycare but they are working and/or going to school, I don't mind my taxes going to help out in these instances....ok, back to the regular topic, sorry, had to get it off of my chest (gazing down at my gorgeous 5 day old grandson also born out of wedlock to my daughter who teaches handicapped children):cloud9:

BenMax
March 17th, 2009, 03:39 PM
YOu are right Melinda - where there is will there is a way. But it is not easy. My amazement is why this woman would opt for this? Was her intentions pure and well meaning? I am not so sure....

want4rain
March 17th, 2009, 04:15 PM
her intentions?? well, i guess i can only say that evidence suggests the world is indeed NOT flat. :shrug:

-ashley