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I'm so stressed out...

Luvmypitgirls
March 5th, 2009, 11:19 AM
Yesterday, a teacher gave my son a rather hard knock on the head with a closed fist. My son yelled "what the hell" and the teacher laughed and said "oh sorry I was just joking around".
WTF!
I got on the phone with the school this morning and was told well he was only joking around. Ok so that makes it appropriate to hit a kid in the head with a closed fist, a kid that has a shunt in his brain. Even if my son wasn't in a wheelchair or had a shunt I'd still be pissed!
There is a zero tolerance policy for the students touching each other, and this teacher sets this example?
I called his teacher, because I couldn't get hold of the admin of the school, and when I told her that if this ever happens again I will press assault charges, she says to me "Calm down, you're overreacting". To which I replied, "how dare you! How is it unacceptable for the students to hit each other in fun or otherwise but acceptable for teachers?" She hung up on me at that point.:mad:

I called the admin and left a message, ohhh almost 3 hours ago now, still haven't heard back.

This kind of crap really stresses me out, I have never hit my kid, playing or otherwise in such a fashion, I'm so angry right now my heart is racing.

happycats
March 5th, 2009, 11:29 AM
OMG that's totally unacceptable!!!
Call the board of education!! They will do something, especially if you tell them your going to the press, and MP if something isn't done!

That teacher needs to be punished. :mad:

Luvmypitgirls
March 5th, 2009, 11:41 AM
OMG that's totally unacceptable!!!
Call the board of education!! They will do something, especially if you tell them your going to the press, and MP if something isn't done!

That teacher needs to be punished. :mad:

happycats, I have called the board of education, left a voice mail, damn it's hard to get a hold of these ppl! I called the school again, was told the principal isn't available at this time...left another message, and wasn't nice about it. Told him if I don't hear from him by the end of the school day, I will take whatever action I deem neccessary.

I just want to go over there and hit this teacher upside the head, see how he likes it. Btw, ironically his name is Mr.Payne....seems fitting!

Dog Dancer
March 5th, 2009, 11:50 AM
:eek::eek: How incredibly unacceptable!! I would try not get too stressed about it, just hold onto your indignation though. That teacher was totally out of line and you are not over reacting. Just try not to let your blood pressure go nuts. Write down a few notes that you can follow when you do talk to somebody. It's important to stay calm and focussed so that they don't accuse you of over reacting. So write down your issues and try try try to stay calm but firm. And then go punch the teacher upside the head!:grouphug:

happycats
March 5th, 2009, 12:09 PM
happycats, I have called the board of education, left a voice mail, damn it's hard to get a hold of these ppl! I called the school again, was told the principal isn't available at this time...left another message, and wasn't nice about it. Told him if I don't hear from him by the end of the school day, I will take whatever action I deem neccessary.

I just want to go over there and hit this teacher upside the head, see how he likes it. Btw, ironically his name is Mr.Payne....seems fitting!

Go to your MP, they will get immediate action for you.
I can tell you I would be livid like you if someone did that to my child.

JennieV
March 5th, 2009, 12:20 PM
LMPG, you may not like what I have to say entirely, but here goes: while I totally agree with others and will say that this is unacceptable, you also need to calm down, firstly because its not good for you, secondly because you can and will come across like a nut case. You need to have your info and facts including dates, times and what was said, written down in front of you. Like a log of sorts...Write down dates and times that you calle and left messages as well. If this goes to court - you will look more credible.

If you cannot reach anyone by phone - prepare and send a registered letter. That ALWAYS gets a point across, because they cannot say they never received any messages/complaints from you, you will have a proof that you did send them something. I would keep leaving them messages, at least one per day, you could do one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Then go the letter way. Written complaint, that was sent registered - will DEFINITELY get you an answer. So find out the name of the highest person, like a Director or President of the Board and send it registered to their name. Even if it won't be them answering you - you WILL get a response.
Please feel free to PM me if you need help drafting a letter of complaint, as I have some experience in doing so and it will be my pleasure to help you.

I hope this gets settled before it gets really ugly. Good luck! :grouphug:

P.S. Is there any way you can GO to the school?? and refuse to leave until you see the principal?
Its ridiculous that they are treating this case in such way, but people are weird, what can I say?

rainbow
March 5th, 2009, 12:40 PM
OMG.....that teacher was way out of line. :eek: And, it is obvious that everyone you have tried to contact is avoiding you on purpose. :frustrated:

I agree with Jennie about documenting everything and it would be better if you could go to the school in person. And, take someone with you as a witness if possible too. Good luck. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

Luvmypitgirls
March 5th, 2009, 02:53 PM
Thanks for all your replies and support.
I called my MIL, she's my vent~board, and she told me to forget waiting for a return call, to get my a$$ dressed and go to the school pick up my son, and then go in person to the school board.
I did exactly that.
The vice principal stopped me in the hall at the school and asked if I needed something, I nicely said no thank you I'm here to pick up my son. He said ok and left me alone.
I asked my son, when I finally tracked him down in Foods class, if he had been approached by the principal or the teacher involved. He said the principal told him that I had called and left a message threatening to charge the teacher, not exactly true. I did say if this ever occurred again I will pursue charges. The principal didn't in anyway say what the teacher did was wrong or unacceptable or assure my son that an apology would be made, he just said he would hate to lose a good member of the faculty.:frustrated:

I arrived at the school board, and nice and calmly asked to speak to someone regarding an incident at the school which involved my son. I made it very clear, in a nice way that if we were refused my next stop would be the RCMP station.
She asked what the incident was and I told her, she looked at my son and said she was sorry he went thru that and she would locate someone for us to talk to.
They pulled the District Superintendent, out of a meeting to come speak with us. This man was wonderful, simply wonderful. He even said if we decided to press charges this time he would support us, because even without malice what that teacher did was assault. He asked my son if he knew the meaning of assault, my son said, "yeah it's illegal" lol. The gentleman laughed, and said yes but assault means "unwanted contact" and you certainly have the grounds to press charges.
I told him I would be satisfied with a formal apology from the administration and the teacher involved, to my son and my husband and I.
Then we spoke to him about a few other issues we have and he listened intently. There will be no more threats to throw our son out of school when he can't be there for medical reasons that prevent him from attending, like a weeping C-tube for example.
He is also going to look into why the school has not made any effort to provide a handicap accessible washroom where my son can take care of his personal care.
For the first time since my kids entered the school system, I finally feel like someone really heard my concerns, and he validated every single one of them.
Whew, I feel somewhat relieved.
He is going to arrange a meeting with our son and hubby and me at the school, he assured me we will get our formal apology and that if we have any more concerns arrise we are to contact him personally.
So now we wait for the school to call with an appt, which I hope will occur tomorrow.

BTW, the teacher involved seen me in the hall while picking up my son, he turned and hightailed it in the opposite direction. To bad he didn't take the opportunity to approach us and apologize then, I may have been able to respect him if he had, now I think he's just a coward.

Luvmypitgirls
March 5th, 2009, 02:58 PM
LMPG, you may not like what I have to say entirely, but here goes: while I totally agree with others and will say that this is unacceptable, you also need to calm down, firstly because its not good for you, secondly because you can and will come across like a nut case. You need to have your info and facts including dates, times and what was said, written down in front of you. Like a log of sorts...Write down dates and times that you calle and left messages as well. If this goes to court - you will look more credible.

If you cannot reach anyone by phone - prepare and send a registered letter. That ALWAYS gets a point across, because they cannot say they never received any messages/complaints from you, you will have a proof that you did send them something. I would keep leaving them messages, at least one per day, you could do one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Then go the letter way. Written complaint, that was sent registered - will DEFINITELY get you an answer. So find out the name of the highest person, like a Director or President of the Board and send it registered to their name. Even if it won't be them answering you - you WILL get a response.
Please feel free to PM me if you need help drafting a letter of complaint, as I have some experience in doing so and it will be my pleasure to help you.

I hope this gets settled before it gets really ugly. Good luck! :grouphug:

P.S. Is there any way you can GO to the school?? and refuse to leave until you see the principal?
Its ridiculous that they are treating this case in such way, but people are weird, what can I say?

LOL, don't worry you didn't say anything I find offensive. When it comes to protecting my kids I fully admit I can come off as a nutcase. I'm a grizzly bear when it comes to my kids, but I'm also very strict, if they mess up they are held accountable.
I'm just outraged that a teacher would hit a student, let alone one in a wheelchair with a shunt in his head.

happycats
March 5th, 2009, 05:14 PM
LOL, don't worry you didn't say anything I find offensive. When it comes to protecting my kids I fully admit I can come off as a nutcase. I'm a grizzly bear when it comes to my kids, but I'm also very strict, if they mess up they are held accountable.
I'm just outraged that a teacher would hit a student, let alone one in a wheelchair with a shunt in his head.


Don't worry, I'm a grizzly bear "nutcase" too when it comes to my son, so I completely understand where you are coming from :2huggers: to you and your son!

Luvmypitgirls
March 5th, 2009, 07:45 PM
Don't worry, I'm a grizzly bear "nutcase" too when it comes to my son, so I completely understand where you are coming from :2huggers: to you and your son!

Thank you happycats, I really appreciate that and :2huggers: back at ya!:D

happycats
March 5th, 2009, 08:47 PM
Thank you happycats, I really appreciate that and :2huggers: back at ya!:D

After reading your post, I was so angered and my grizzly instincts came out, and I wanted to come over there and punch that teacher in the head myself!. and give the principle a slap as well!! :evil:

It's like they have a "code" and protect eachother, even when they know the teacher is wrong. And the nerve to say they would "hate to lose a member of the faculity".....trying to make you feel guilty or bad for exposing this idiot!

Teachers are responsible for the most loved, and important people in our lives, we entrust them with our "heart" and "life" (my child is my heart, my life) and Mr Payne should be taking is responsibility more seriously.
and all teachers should be protecting our children and not eachother :mad:

TacoGrl
March 5th, 2009, 09:17 PM
FYI...you should still contact the RCs...it's incidents like this that need to be recorded...can you imagine if at some point in the future, the teacher severly injures a child and the news story will read "We had no record of any violence-reports RCMP Sgt. Blah"

Also, the school will probably tell you to sign a release form...take it from them, but don't sign it.

shirley1011
March 6th, 2009, 01:29 AM
understand all your frustration...happened to my son back in the "dark ages" (he's 31 now), a teacher hit him on the head several times with the rubber end of her pencil. Back then there was really no recourse but just the other day
Mark brought up the incident, he was in grade 3 and to this day has never forgotten it.
Sorry your son had to go thru this, and I understand your
desire to rip them a new one.

growler~GateKeeper
March 6th, 2009, 01:44 AM
I told him I would be satisfied with a formal apology from the administration and the teacher involved, to my son and my husband and I.

The formal apology from the teacher involved should be infront of the entire class of students. :2cents:

JennieV
March 6th, 2009, 11:05 AM
LMPG, I am very happy to hear that you got someone to listen. Tha is truly wonderul.

I would still recommend that you document everything, dates, times, names...Just in case! Better be safe than sorry.

I hope all works out! :thumbs up

ancientgirl
March 9th, 2009, 08:52 AM
I just saw this. I'm so sorry your son had to go through that. It's amazing how many people take advantage of mistreating kids under their care, especially ones who they think can't defend themselves. Your son is lucky to have you behind him.

I think you did everything very well. The best thing you could have done was to just be calm and go to the highest person for this.

This is a little :offtopic: But I have to share. When I was around 5 or 6, I had a teacher who would always yell in my ear and make me stand in the corner because I didn't understand the math assignment in class. She didn't yell at any other kid or put them in the corner for not understanding, just me. One day I told my dad about it and the next day he came to pick me up. We sat in the car waiting for her to come out. When I pointed her out to him we got out of the car, and he told me to wait a few feet back. OMG, he walked to her, said a few words, she looked at me and turned white. For the rest of the year she was the sweetest person to me. Years later I came to find out my dad threatened to filet her if she even so much as raised her voice to me, and said that I was having ear problems because of her constant yelling in my ear.

Mind you, she could have had my father arrested, but I gather she was so scared of him she kept her mouth shut. Ever since then I've always really hated teachers who take their anger out on students.

I hope your son gets his apology.

lUvMyLaB<3
March 9th, 2009, 11:34 AM
Whoa, I feel for you going through this situation. My Mother is hydro cephalic and has a shunt so I understand your concern for his safety when someone hits him on the head! You reacted like any mother would and did nothing wrong. I am happy that you found someone willing to deal with your issue, so many times we cannot find someone like that and that they are going to handle it according to your wishes. What happened was unacceptable period. Your son will learn a lot from this though, which may be something good that will come from it, He will know that he is important and needs to be respected, he will also learn that even adults need to be held accountable for their actions and must treat everyone with respect. I am sorry that you both had to go through this. I hope the teacher involved is mature enough to admit that what he did was wrong and now do the right thing. He needs to talk to your son and let him know that and that he wants to move forward from here, not letting this situation ever come between anything in the future.

Take care I wish the best for both of you as you try to move on from here. It can be very difficult when there is a situation with your kids teacher.

Before we moved I had my kids in a public school and I had issues with the teacher who was new and just filling in for their teacher that was on maternity leave, but dealing with the principal was a nightmare and I could not deal with him. That is the reason that we moved there was no other school any where near there. So now my kids are at the school I always wanted them to attend it is a private school and it is awesome. Best decision we have ever ever made! Good luck!

Diamondsmum
March 9th, 2009, 12:49 PM
Ohhh Good on you LMPG

I think were all grizzlies when it comes to our kids

I hope you get that apology & its sincere:)

Luvmypitgirls
March 9th, 2009, 08:34 PM
Ok, so we got our apology, if you wanna call it that. The teacher involved, shrugged his shoulders made a funny face and said "yeah sorry. I thought we had the kind of relationship where you knew I was joking around, had I known it would've caused such an issue I wouldn't have done it":frustrated: and then he said "I guess we don't have that kind of relationship, I'll keep my distance" and he also said "in my defense, Jeffrey was wearing his hat in the school, he knows this is wrong":frustrated: Ok butthole try and justify your actions by blaming my kid for wearing his hat on his way out of the school to catch his bus.:frustrated:
I wonder if he has ever tried to wheel thru hundreds of students in a wheelchair while trying to hold a hat at the same time, he didn't put it on until he reached the doors leading outside, he put it on as he hit the automatic door opener, yeah what a trouble maker he is that kid

We have another meeting at the school this coming Wednesday to deal with his homeroom teacher and the way she spoke to me and the way she keeps threatening to have Jeff thrown out of school.

Personally, I'm sick of dealing with this woman, her husband died last year unexpectantly, and I feel for her, but she has been taking her anger and bitterness out on her most vulnerable students and I'm tired of her antics.
I've been told by a source at the school, that I am not the only parent frustrated by this woman, I'm certainly not the first to have complained either.

All around I'm more than a tad disappointed, I know the gentleman at the board of ed, advocated for us, but obviously whatever he said has fallen unto deaf ears.:frustrated:
btw, they still expect me to use the men's staff bathroom to take care of my son's personal care, yeahhhh that's a comfortable situation:rolleyes:

Tundra_Queen
March 10th, 2009, 07:13 AM
I am so sorry to hear about what happened at your son's school. Like someone else mentioned I would go to the police and file a complaint. It is obviously that this woman is thinking she didn't do anything wrong and her principal is looking that he feels the same way.

First of all, no teacher should touch a child, never mind one who is disabled with a shunt. And she MUST know he has a shunt in his head! And even if she didn't there is no excuse. I would just go to the police and file a report. Calmly, but file one. I have no patience with power ridden teachers who think they are above the rules!

You don't have to mention to the school that u filed a complaint. The teacher union is very powerful and some teachers think that they can get away with anything! So please file a compaint you might be protecting another child.

Debbie

chico2
March 10th, 2009, 08:05 AM
LMPG,I had a somewhat similar experience dealing with a PE teacher in my sons highschool.
Not with punching,but the teacher forcing my son to wrestle,although after 2 open-heart surgeries,a pace-maker and small in stature,his chest a road-map of scars,he was strictly forbidden to take part in such activities.
The teacher completely ignored me(but of course I took my son out of the gym),until I had my sons cardiologist call....no apologies from the teacher though. Just a"I did not know",sure!!

Luvmypitgirls
March 10th, 2009, 09:02 AM
LMPG,I had a somewhat similar experience dealing with a PE teacher in my sons highschool.
Not with punching,but the teacher forcing my son to wrestle,although after 2 open-heart surgeries,a pace-maker and small in stature,his chest a road-map of scars,he was strictly forbidden to take part in such activities.
The teacher completely ignored me(but of course I took my son out of the gym),until I had my sons cardiologist call....no apologies from the teacher though. Just a"I did not know",sure!!

Omg Chico, and I thought my situation was bad. I hope your son was not hurt by being forced to wrestle. I'm sorry you didn't get an apology, you and your son both deserved one.
I'm so sorry to hear your son has heart problems, I hope he is doing ok.

This will be my son's last year in this school, we have decided that we won't send him back next year. It's not like he can graduate with a diploma anyway. Here in Alberta, if your childs program is modified to a certain degree, they will not get a graduation diploma, but rather a certificate that says "Congrats, you tried your best". Basically, as his teacher put it, they are basically a glorified daycare for special needs kids:frustrated:

We seriously thought about going to lodge a complaint with the police, but have decided not to at this time. We just want our son to finish the year with as little problems as possible, and I believe if we take that route, he will only be treated worse. :sad:

chico2
March 10th, 2009, 09:59 AM
LMPG,no he was not hurt,but he was usually the butt of everyones jokes,being small,school for him was a nightmare,until I changed schools.
You know,more than anyone,having a son in a wheel-chair,how frustrating and difficult it can be,trying to make sure your son get a chance to be the best he can be.
Not giving your son a Diploma for finishing,seems very petty and cruel.
:grouphug:to you and your son.

Luvmypitgirls
March 11th, 2009, 05:14 PM
Chico, thank you so much for your understanding and kind words.

We had a meeting at the school today, his teacher was not in attendance, apparently she feels threatened by me:rolleyes:
Last week she went "banshee in heat" on me and she feels threatend?

Anyway, the principal and the vice principal, have agreed to work with us to make what is left of this year as productive as possible for our son. They know that I'm not very encouraged to send him back next year, but have asked me to withhold any decision as to that until we see how the remainder of this year goes. I have agreed, but I also told them, that if there is one more incident all bets are off.

I made it very clear that I want better communication between school and home, regarding our son's education. They agreed.

Overall, I was convinced that they are willing to work with us, they did state that there will be no communication from his teacher and we are not to contact her, I can happily live with that. All communication will come from the administration.

It has been a frustrating three years in this school, I hope this meeting today is the begining of a better relationship with the school, the vice principal seems genuinely concerned for our son, he seems to really be interested in helping him achieve his goals. We'll see how it goes, I'm willing to give it one more try.

As for not getting a diploma, I agree it seems harsh, he does the same work as his peers, he just gets a little longer to complete assignments, and his math program is adjusted to his disability, Spina Bifida kids have difficulty with math concepts, however overall I don't see that as an excuse to withhold the opportunity to obtain a diploma of graduation.

chico2
March 12th, 2009, 11:22 AM
LMPG,that's great,I am glad you did not just let this bad incident go by and that the school is giving you support:thumbs up
:grouphug:to you and your boy.