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Pre-mature RIP but I need your prayers

BenMax
February 26th, 2009, 11:24 AM
I am not much for opening up threads and asking for help but this is a tough one and I need whatever blessings you can give to a kind soul I recently rescued.

Not to get into detail, a beautiful and kind 'junk yard dog' was rescued. He is such a wonderful man with spirit, gentleness, and just an all round good natured soul. I brought him to the vet for a overall check up to ensure that he was in tip top shape so that a home and forever family could be found.

The vet contacted me as the dog was ailing so tests were done. Renal failure. Nothing left to do as there is nothing left. The doctors contacted me about 15 minutes ago and tell me that he needs to be put to rest....for my vet to say this it means that I need to throw in the towl....I so don't want to as you all can imagine but I have no choice it seems. (Gosh I am having trouble just typing this).

So after work I am going to take him for a small walk and say good bye to a wonderful boy.

Please say a prayer for this beautiful GSD that served man as they asked. Please remember him for 5:45 pm.

Thanks for reading and letting me share this little piece of who he is and I will be sure to let him know that he is loved....finally.

14+kitties
February 26th, 2009, 11:27 AM
:sad: How sad. Thank you for sharing this story. It puts things in perspective for all of us, doesn't it? And please don't be bashful about asking for help. It truly does help with our inner conflicts to share.
:candle::rip: beautiful boy :candle: Know in the end you finally found the love you deserved.
My candle will be lit to guide him...........

Love4himies
February 26th, 2009, 11:27 AM
I am so sorry to hear that, BenMax, I know this is a dog that you became very close to. :grouphug: :grouphug:.

Sometimes animals come into our lives for a reason and I believe he came into your life so you could give him those few weeks of love and care that he so deserved.

You are his :angel:.

BenMax
February 26th, 2009, 11:35 AM
Thank you so very much 14+ and L4H for answering this thread. I am having a very very difficult time with this as this was not suppose to be the outcome. I did not expect this to happen as initially I was told that the meds would help and he had at the very least 6 months to 1 year.

On the walk tonight - I am going to tell him your names and that you as well wish him well on his journey. I want him to hear all those people that really DO care. I promise to relay the message.

14+kitties
February 26th, 2009, 11:37 AM
My name isn't necessary. Just tell him his story touched a lot of people. :grouphug: :sad:

Love4himies
February 26th, 2009, 11:39 AM
Give him a hug for me too. :cry:

BenMax
February 26th, 2009, 11:41 AM
Give him a hug for me too. :cry:

I so will L4H. In a big big way. Thanks.

Rottielover
February 26th, 2009, 11:47 AM
I am so sorry you and he will be going through this. You will finally be able to give him the love and the peace he deserves.
We are all thinking of you guys:grouphug:

chico2
February 26th, 2009, 12:04 PM
BenMax,I don't really know what to say,this is so very difficult,but you and this wonderful pup will be in my thoughts.
We all at one time need help to deal with our emotions and sadness,your inner strenght to help needy animals,is probably more than many of us have,but sometimes the sense of injustice will be too difficult for even the strongest.
He knows you love him and will leave this world that treated him badly,with love in his heart.:grouphug:to both of you and thank you for helping this boy.

hazelrunpack
February 26th, 2009, 12:10 PM
As short as your time with him is, BenMax, at least he has the gift of someone who loves him to be there as he crosses over. :grouphug:

:candle:

Winston
February 26th, 2009, 12:10 PM
Benmax I am truly sorry...I am crying writing this. Please give him lots of kisses from me! I have such a soft spot for the GSD's! I wish there was something more that could be done! Keep him in your heart with all the others you have saved! He will be waiting at the bridge for all those that made his life happy! Bless you for being there!

I will be thinking of you tonight! Can you share his name with us?

Cindy

Diamondsmum
February 26th, 2009, 12:11 PM
Awww benmax..

I will as well add to this my candle:candle:.. There are many across the bridge that are waiting for him..

Sending you my huggs as well..

BenMax
February 26th, 2009, 12:20 PM
Thank you all very much. Gawd I am chocking here....so not like me but I am just so tired I think right now. I know I have to be strong for this (for him) but I just can't help it. Just when there was hope that finally something good was on his way - it dashed as quickly as it came.

I didn't tell anyone about this (except for L4H) but I was planning on adopting him myself. He has the same personality as my Ben and I just feel head over heals in love...truly.

Anyways I have to deal with it.

Oh yes Winston - his name is Atticus.

kiara
February 26th, 2009, 12:23 PM
Lucky dog, has found you in his last moments. Please give him a hug from me and he will be with all the other pets at the bridge. I will be saying a prayer for him.

Diamondsmum
February 26th, 2009, 12:23 PM
umm benmax you also told me :2huggers:

Here is Atticus...

:candle:

14+kitties
February 26th, 2009, 12:24 PM
Run free to the bridge Atticus. You will find lots of friends and love there. :candle:

BenMax
February 26th, 2009, 12:30 PM
Thanks DM for the picture of Atticus.

I guess I told more people than I thought. In fact I think I did tell everyone just about....(heck I can't keep a secret it appears).

It is what it is right? I just wanted to be his mom.

Diamondsmum
February 26th, 2009, 12:38 PM
I think my dear.. that you rescueing him & giving him the vet attention he needed.. you are his mom..

He will be with you forever.. & waiting for YOU at the bridge

angeldogs
February 26th, 2009, 12:41 PM
I'm sorry BenMax,Atleast he was able to have some real love in his life thanks to you even if it was for a short time.:grouphug:

pitgrrl
February 26th, 2009, 01:15 PM
I'm so sorry for both of you. I'm sure his time with you, however short, will bring him much happiness though.

SIL
February 26th, 2009, 01:15 PM
BenMax...I am really sorry to hear about Atticus. He will be in my thoughts this afternoon, as will you. You showed him love and affection, please give him a hug for me as well...:grouphug::grouphug:

:candle:Atticus

aslan
February 26th, 2009, 01:23 PM
Benmax, the little time of love Atticus got with you is a lifetime for him. He got affection and vet care that he'd probably never had before. Love from me and Grace, i'll hug you in person when i can.

:candle:Atticus

cpietra16
February 26th, 2009, 01:25 PM
OMG...Benmax, it is with such sorrow I write this. I am so glad he had you in his life even if it was for a short time. My thoughts and prayers will definately reach you and Atticus..:sad:have a wonderful walk. My thoughts will be with you and Atticus

lUvMyLaB<3
February 26th, 2009, 01:28 PM
what a beautiful dog, I don't think I have the words, but my thoughts and prayers will be with you througout. There is nothing like finding a dog that has the ability to touch our soul. Please try to take comfort in knowing that he will be thankful for the time you gave him, no matter how short the love you showed him is far better than any length of time he would have spent in his previous situation. This is the time he needs you most. Being with him with unconditional love, what an angel you are. You will be blessed for what you do, for what you have done. I will ask for you to be given the strength you need to get through this, my thoughts are with you, give him a couple of pats from all of us here.

shirley1011
February 26th, 2009, 01:30 PM
Benmax...my thoughts are with you this afternoon...but know that you have given him love and he will feel that
love....take care you are a special person to do this

Jim Hall
February 26th, 2009, 01:35 PM
what a well whtever you can think of thats bad

My pryars are with you all

BenMax
February 26th, 2009, 01:44 PM
Thank you all so very very much. Atticus is loved isn't he!

You know just to share alittle about me..I am suppose to be the rock I assume. Seeing the worst and best of people and animals. I am strong in front of those that know me (or don't) but I have to tell you I am not who people may think I am. When it comes to life and how it ends, I am the worst. Even if I go to a funeral where I don't know who it is that has passed, I fall apart....completely. Animals are my weakness when it comes to this. It is so difficult for me to say good-bye...I feel cheated or even guilty sometimes that I either was not there on time, or I just didn't spend enough time with them. Either way - I feel like I could have or should have done more.

When Ben died I guess I just wanted him back so much that I really dove into my 'work'. I just couldn't deal with it very well...still don't to be honest. Atticus reminded me of Ben so I guess for this reason I am totally chocked. This is almost like saying good bye to an old friend again.

I just want to say thank you to all of you as this means more to me than anything..really truly does. Even though you are my friends behind the screen, I know you all 'get it' and I can be as weak or as strong as I truly am.

Forgive me for babbling. I just wanted to say thank you.:grouphug:

CClover
February 26th, 2009, 02:16 PM
BenMax: I do believe that Atticus chose you.He knew you were the one who would take good care of him.

Atticus,you are beautyful.You'll be love for ever.I give you a kiss and if you meet my sweet Bonnie,please tell her I love her too.

:cry:

Just for you big boy :candle:

breeze
February 26th, 2009, 02:26 PM
:candle::candle::candle::candle:

diandpat
February 26th, 2009, 03:31 PM
Bless you Benmax for blessing Atticus with a quick and painless death. Imagine if he had stayed where he was what his outcome would have been :cry:unimaginable!
:grouphug::grouphug: for you for this evening. Atticus will be greeted by many at the bridge and he will wait for you there with Ben.
:rip:Atticus, sweet angel
:pray:for you Benmax

chico2
February 26th, 2009, 03:39 PM
Atticus,we love you,maybe you'll meet beautiful little Trixie at the bridge,know that we all love you and we'll take care of your mom for you:grouphug:

krdahmer
February 26th, 2009, 04:02 PM
:pray::cry:I hope Atticus's journey to the bridge is peaceful:candle:, and thanks to you for making sure he knows how loved he is before he goes! :grouphug: He is a very beautiful dog, and I imagine brought many smiles to the people he met along the way. :lovestruck:

Tommysmom
February 26th, 2009, 05:11 PM
BenMax, I'm so sorry. At least he went with love, which is more than he may have had in the past. It doesn't help you now, but I'm sure it meant more to him than you may know.

the gang
February 26th, 2009, 07:36 PM
ben max you know you are a angel!!! im so sorry this happened to you, i send you lots of hugs , run free little man :rip: brenda and the pins..

JennieV
February 26th, 2009, 08:24 PM
BenMax, i just got to see this now...I am so sorry..

:sad::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
:candle: Atticus! :rip:

Frenchy
February 26th, 2009, 08:25 PM
ahhhh Benmax , this just isn't fair :sad: but because of you , he didn't end up in a bad place to suffer for weeks and weeks. He was showed love and affection for a while , and now he can be happy and playing at rainbow bridge. :grouphug:

Atticus was a beautiful dog , inside and out :candle:

luckypenny
February 26th, 2009, 08:31 PM
:rip: Atticus :candle:

Dee-O-Gee
February 26th, 2009, 09:45 PM
BenMax..just reading the nightly forums...How are you holding up?

Atticus sounds like he was a beautiful brave boy who was so loved. I can vision a big group of them playing at the bridge :cloud9:

Be strong BenMax--keep your thoughts strong and your love stronger

14+kitties
February 26th, 2009, 09:57 PM
BenMax - This is a poem I found last year. I have posted it in various threads on this forum when I felt it was needed. Now it is needed......... for you. I find great beauty, sadness and joy in this poem. It speaks of a soul wanting to fly...... away from the pain.
Please don't ever think you failed any of these beautiful souls you touch. Yours may be the only kind touch they feel. Keep up the good work my friend. It truly does help.

MAY I GO

by Susan A. Jackson

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Dedicated to everyone who has ever had to put down a beloved dog.

Author: Susan A. Jackson

Diamondsmum
February 26th, 2009, 10:08 PM
14+:cry: Just perfect

flipgirl4
February 26th, 2009, 10:50 PM
I'm so sorry you have to do this BenMax. It sounds like you're just as gentle and good natured as Atticus. I know it's hard but there's a reason he came to you. As you said, he reminded you of Ben. Maybe it's Ben's way of telling you he's still in your heart and that doggie heaven needs kind souls too. Atticus obviously knew he needed someone like you and you needed someone like him. I know it's hard; I can't imagine as I've not had to do this yet. I've seen many animals PTS where I work in the short time I've worked at an animal hospital and they say it gets easier. But I am finding it is getting harder for me. So I can only begin to imagine what you are going through but I empathize and hope that you can be strong and always hold those memories close to your heart. You gave a dog that had suffered for a long time a chance at happiness and love; if it wasn't for you, he would have passed without experiencing that. Bless you for that. And bless Atticus.

Love4himies
February 27th, 2009, 07:04 AM
:grouphug: to you today, BenMax, you will be in my thoughts today.

BenMax
February 27th, 2009, 07:30 AM
I have read everyone's comments and everyone had something so beautiful and wonderful to say. It has helped me tremendously and Atticus as well.

After work I drove to the clinic and Atticus greeted me there with his usual head butt into my legs. Even though I mentally prepared myself all day - raw emotions just took over. After several cookies we ventured out for a walk. We started off walking and then we decided that a good run would be fun - he made me laugh and he was so very happy. We watched people pass by, walked through the town so that he could sniff wherever he wanted. On the way there is a church that I used to go to and I decided that we could sit on the bench and just think. So I took the opportunity to introduce Atticus to God and God to Atticus so that He new Atticus was coming (a mini introduction I guess).

Time was approaching so I let Atticus take me back. I wanted this walk to last forever.

In the end Atticus was so very brave. He went peacefully and quietly. He touched so many people in such a short time as the vet and her staff were also having difficulty. So I am certain he knew that he was loved by all.

Atticus is now in the loving hands of Pet Friends who will perform a ceremony and spread his ashes by the lake . (Thank you to them who comforted me through this process).

Thank you so very much to all of you. You have individually given me support, strength and much needed guidance.

I love you all.:grouphug:

BenMax

Diamondsmum
February 27th, 2009, 08:17 AM
sending you lots of love hun:grouphug:

Love4himies
February 27th, 2009, 08:48 AM
What a wonderful last walk with him. I am sure it meant the world to him. :cry:

ancientgirl
February 27th, 2009, 09:11 AM
I'm so very sorry Atticus had to be put down. It's sad he wasn't taken care of better, he was such a beautiful boy.

He may not have had a great life before, but he was guided to your arms in the end and you loved him. That's the important part, he was loved!

:rip:Atticus you are an angel now.

SIL
February 27th, 2009, 09:31 AM
BenMax....:grouphug:

:rip: sweet Atticus

Luvmypitgirls
February 27th, 2009, 10:16 AM
Dear BenMax,
I too, want to offer my condolences. I am sorry I didn't see this sooner, but I haven't had a computer for the last couple of days.

Not only do I wish to offer my condolences, but I also want to thank you. Thank you for taking in Atticus, and giving him unconditional love and support.
Regardless of the life he had before you, I have no doubt he went to the Bridge, with happiness and love in his heart because of you. I assure you he appreciated everything you did for him.
You are a wonderful loving person, and whether or not you signed adoption papers, YOU were Atticus' mom, and he will be standing there proud and strong at the Bridge waiting for you.

Many hugs to you , to help you thru the next little while, I know it's hard. Carry him in your heart.

RIP Atticus...you handsome fellow. You were most definately loved and adored:candle: