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Do you find words like Gal offensive?

TacoGrl
January 22nd, 2009, 03:56 PM
...or is it just me?

The hair on the back of my neck stands up every time a guy calls me "gal", "hon" or "sug" etc...I feel it is a sign of disrespect...I wouldn't really call myself a "feminist"...I still expect doors to be opened and heavy things to be carried, but these terms just bug me!

Melinda
January 22nd, 2009, 04:27 PM
it really dosesn't bother me too much, except when I'm called "broad". *L* my usual reply to that name is "well yeah....but I have had to kids and we can't all be skinny"...............

I call the seniors where I volunteer "hon, sugar, sweetcheeks etc" all the time so maybe thats why it doesn't bother me, in our motorcycle group I'm nicknamed "Maw" or "grama" even though I won't be a grama for a couple months they've been calling me that for ages. Guess its all in how its said

Melanie1010
January 22nd, 2009, 04:32 PM
LOL I would have to agree... It drives me when this little boy (about 16 or so) at the Timmy's drivethru says "Thanks Hun..." "Have a nice day hun".. every single time its... first few times I just drove away and was like.. I aint your hun in my head.. doofus... but one day I had a horrid morning and he said it and I lost it on the poor kid.. I was like " I am not your Hun.. I wont ever be a hun so stop calling me that" and drove away (talk about lack of caffeine LOL:crazy:)

I dont know why it irks me.. but it does..

Karin
January 22nd, 2009, 05:29 PM
When strangers say it, YES!

Creeps me out.

Masha
January 22nd, 2009, 08:14 PM
Yeah its creepy when stragers say that... luckily i dont get this too often..

bendyfoot
January 22nd, 2009, 09:06 PM
I don't mind when women older than me say stuff like that. But men or younger people, blech. I especially dispise "Miss". :yuck:

14+kitties
January 22nd, 2009, 10:09 PM
Wait till you start getting Ma'am! :eek:
Being in the customer service gig I hear it every time I work. I get
"Young Miss" from the older gentlemen; "Ma'am" from the younger ones. Or, if they are feeling particularily cheeky, hon. I hear Sweetie occasionally. I work with a woman who calls everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, hon.

rhartjr
January 23rd, 2009, 06:37 AM
Hmm, so I guess babe is definetly out of the question?


































Sorry, couldn't resist.:D

TacoGrl
January 23rd, 2009, 08:34 AM
See, I LIKE the phrase "Oh babe, you are AWESOME!!!" :D

Not so much the phrase "Look babe, I am telling you ...." :frustrated:

BenMax
January 23rd, 2009, 08:39 AM
Anyone calls me that and he has lost his pearls. Nope can't say that I appreciate it unless there is some kind of relationship with the person.

jessi76
January 23rd, 2009, 08:45 AM
I'm not usually offended by it, however, if the person saying it is particularly creepy, then usually I'll say something back equally as horrifying to get my point across that it was not appropriate.

The ONE that REALLY irritates me, is when I'm referred to as "the old lady". (I'm 32 btw) like when me and my fiance are out, and someone says "oh, hi, so this must be your old lady..."

BenMax
January 23rd, 2009, 08:48 AM
I'm not usually offended by it, however, if the person saying it is particularly creepy, then usually I'll say something back equally as horrifying to get my point across that it was not appropriate.

The ONE that REALLY irritates me, is when I'm referred to as "the old lady". (I'm 32 btw) like when me and my fiance are out, and someone says "oh, hi, so this must be your old lady..."

Oh yes -'the old lady' comment. Well you know that those people where born and raised in a barn.

Jim Hall
January 23rd, 2009, 08:52 AM
ok so what do you want to be called

i assume yo isnt good

mam is out
young lady ok?
madame?
i call people sir and mam.

and i used to worry abput this but decided to worry about more impertant things

BenMax
January 23rd, 2009, 09:07 AM
ok so what do you want to be called

i assume yo isnt good

mam is out
young lady ok?
madame?
i call people sir and mam.

and i used to worry abput this but decided to worry about more impertant things

Goddess will do Jim Hall.:thumbs up

Jim Hall
January 23rd, 2009, 09:17 AM
lol ben max do i have to avert my eyes also?

BenMax
January 23rd, 2009, 09:29 AM
lol ben max do i have to avert my eyes also?

Well that would be a good start as well. A warm smile and good eye contact is always alluring and women appreciate it. Women then walk away thinking 'what a gentleman'....and will probably try to 'run into you' again.

TacoGrl
January 23rd, 2009, 09:32 AM
Jim...I think that you will be fine if you know the person's name, use it...if not, just say "Hi" and what it is you want then "please"...oh, that irks me too! People don't say "please" and "thank you" anymore! ...or wave when you let them in in front of you. That's a whole other thread though! :rolleyes:

Basically, unless you know the person intimately, "pet" names are best left out of the conversation...they detract from what needs to be communicated...IMO.

rhartjr
January 23rd, 2009, 09:57 AM
See, I LIKE the phrase "Oh babe, you are AWESOME!!!"

Now I have told folks about a particular website I found with the really awesome pet babes on it.


The ONE that REALLY irritates me, is when I'm referred to as "the old lady". (I'm 32 btw) like when me and my fiance are out, and someone says "oh, hi, so this must be your old lady..."

Now even I won't go there. I'm on my third wife and am fairly well trained (and almost housebroken).

Dracko
January 23rd, 2009, 11:26 AM
I'm 41 and when young people call me "Hon, sweetheart, dear" I have to grit my teeth. The only time I don't mind a term of endearment like that is when someone who's British says "Love" given it is simply what they call people on a daily basis.

I find it very disrespectful when people I don't know use those words and inside feel like giving them a blast.

BenMax
January 23rd, 2009, 12:08 PM
Now I have told folks about a particular website I found with the really awesome pet babes on it.



Now even I won't go there. I'm on my third wife and am fairly well trained (and almost housebroken).

Housebroken - well then there is hope! Sounds like your training phase went well - 3 times is a charm so I am told.:thumbs up

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert A. Heinlein " Looks like you got it down!

TacoGrl
January 23rd, 2009, 02:29 PM
Here is a new one to me that I didn't really appreciate!

I went to Auto Value to buy some stuff for my truck during lunch hour...this guy not 20 years old came up to me and said "Can I help you with something my dear?". I looked at him and it must have been some look cuz he just kinda backed up and disappeared! :frustrated:

kiara
January 23rd, 2009, 08:00 PM
A lot of men are chauvinists and totally disrecpect women. Their rude name calling is unacceptable. This is another way to do it: (I thought all of you need a good laugh!) I have my own car and my husband just bought a new car for himself, a Subaru. My chauvinist neighbor comes over and asks, "Is your husband going to allow you to drive his car?" My husband said "yes of course", but after we got inside we had a good laugh. What an idiot.

want4rain
January 23rd, 2009, 08:55 PM
lol ben max do i have to avert my eyes also?

open worship is acceptable thank you. :)

-ashley

ancientgirl
January 25th, 2009, 07:18 PM
OMG, my boss has taken to calling me baby. I've known him for like 12 years and all of a sudden he's started calling me that last year. He thinks it's a term of endearment or something, and I can't say anything to him because he's already on the cusp of a nervous breakdown. If I say anything he'll see it as a put down or something and withdraw into the self pity everyone hates me stage.

Oy! I need to talk to my doctor. I think I need my anti anxiety pills to get through my bosses mid life crises!

luckypenny
January 25th, 2009, 07:23 PM
I think being called "my dear" by a stranger is so creepy :yuck:.

I don't like "my old lady" neither.

But I did get used to dh's "wench" :rolleyes: (if you knew him, it's a term of endearment....really :laughing:).

babymomma
January 25th, 2009, 07:36 PM
"Hi" and what it is you want then "please"...oh, that irks me too! People don't say "please" and "thank you" anymore! ...or wave when you let them in in front of you. That's a whole other thread though! :rolleyes:
.

OMG. I hate it when people dont say please or thank you!!!..I may even say it a little too often..lol.. My teacher brought it up to my mom once, how polite i am...


It reeeaaally bugs me. A few times, i have been in a rush and somebody has opened a door or something for me and I forgot to say thank you. And i almost went CRAZY the rest of the day. I kept thinking about the fact that I didnt say thank you.


I have even done something for somebody, and they didnt say thank you. So i say to them "Your welcome" lol... Yea, Im a nut when it comes to the please and thankyous ..

babymomma
January 25th, 2009, 07:38 PM
Seriously, Any of you that dont like being called "love" or "my dear". DO NOT COME TO NEWFOUNDLAND! Calling somebody ma'am or saying "thank you love" to somebody is just commom curtisy (sp?).. Seriously, Its that whole, newfoundland hospitality thing! lol.. Yes, we consider it a nice gesture.

Bina
January 25th, 2009, 08:40 PM
Guys and gals is acceptable....but I hate it when a group is addressed as "you guys".
Is it too hard to say "you all".?

Karin
January 25th, 2009, 11:58 PM
Guys and gals is acceptable....but I hate it when a group is addressed as "you guys".
Is it too hard to say "you all".?

It is kinda hard down here to say "you all".

It comes out more like "Ya'll".
It's southernese...and we like sweet tea too. Dialects change with perspective locations.

I have been known to address a group as "you guy's", it's also a fad thing of speech too. There is a constant change in things so go with the flow.

kanis
January 26th, 2009, 12:19 AM
At my work, the evening custodian (older man probably in his 60s) in charge of my room constantly calls me sweetie, darlin' or hon. Now I could make a big deal of it and ask him not to do it, but then I run the risk of my classroom being left a mess. I don't like it, but I tolerate it. The other day when I was heading home late he commented "You're late. I bet your husband is waiting for you to cook dinner." I replied, "He cooks dinner." His response, "Oh, you're one of those women's libbers aren't you?" Ugh.:frustrated:

onster
January 26th, 2009, 12:39 AM
I think ma'am is perfectly fine..Ive been called that often, in fact just today :) Even madam once :eek: lol that had me like what the hey?? but it didnt upset me at all I was just confused.

I think theyre pretty common terms of respect along with sir. Id rather someone be polite with me & vice versa than the opposite.

I do however have one male friend, about 4 yrs older than me that every once in a while throws in dear into his speech when talking to me. Usually when were arguing about/ discussing something. That annoys the heeeeelll out of me!! Cuz I feel like he says it in a belittling way. Kinda like "ok sweetie, this is how the world works"...that kind of dear!

So really it depends on the context and how it was used. Normally I wouldnt mind 'dear'...but I want to smack him everytime he says it :crazy: But of course onster doesnt do that and continues to smile and nod, lol

Dracko
January 26th, 2009, 12:53 PM
Seriously, Any of you that dont like being called "love" or "my dear". DO NOT COME TO NEWFOUNDLAND! Calling somebody ma'am or saying "thank you love" to somebody is just commom curtisy (sp?).. Seriously, Its that whole, newfoundland hospitality thing! lol.. Yes, we consider it a nice gesture.


I think we would all agree it is a little different when it's something that is native to an area. In Britian they always say, "Love" for instance. It would be just stupid to expect a whole country to change if you went over there.

I'm not bothered by the "ma'ma" thing. I think the first time or 2 I was called it I thought, WTF! But then I realized it was younger people trying to be respectful.

BenMax
January 26th, 2009, 01:27 PM
At my work, the evening custodian (older man probably in his 60s) in charge of my room constantly calls me sweetie, darlin' or hon. Now I could make a big deal of it and ask him not to do it, but then I run the risk of my classroom being left a mess. I don't like it, but I tolerate it. The other day when I was heading home late he commented "You're late. I bet your husband is waiting for you to cook dinner." I replied, "He cooks dinner." His response, "Oh, you're one of those women's libbers aren't you?" Ugh.:frustrated:

My response would have been "That's right I am one of those women who wear pointy shoes that can easily fit right in that big @** of yours".

But that's just me.