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Death of Dominent (R.I.P. Bailey) leaving FOLLOWER depressed

Dee-O-Gee
January 12th, 2009, 09:22 PM
It's been three nights since the passing of our 14th year Golden Retriever. While my family has come to this understanding--remembering her legacy, I cannot speak on behalf of Gryphon--her follower. We thought that he would be "beside himself" pacing and wondering when she returned however; he has taken a different turn and has only shown signs of sadness. He won't play with any of "her" toys nor will he even go close to her bedding--his head his low and his eyes are sad.

In the past three days, we have taken him for car rides not to mention numerous walks but when we return home--he has gone back into a sad state.

I sincerely hope that this will all pass. If anyone has experienced this from their beloved any insight would be greatly appreciated.

TacoGrl
January 12th, 2009, 10:33 PM
I am so sorry about Bailey...it is so hard to lose a loved one :sad:

It has only been three days...I am still crying after a month! When my Jaeger passed, it took Mooki about three weeks to be able to go where Jaeger used to go...she was always looking around the house for her...snuggling up to me and still checking things out to be ready for Jag to jump on her...it takes time...give Gryphon extra :grouphug: and Bailey will always be in your hearts.

hazelrunpack
January 12th, 2009, 10:39 PM
Just as a human would, Gryphon needs a little time to adjust to the passing of Bailey. If you can stick to your usual routine that may be comforting to Gryphon. Getting him involved in those rides and walks is a great way to get him out and about. Does he like toys? Maybe see if you can find a new one for him that will really trip his trigger without reminding him of Bailey. Is there a place you can go where he can play with other dogs? A doggy daycare or even obedience classes? He might appreciate the canine company. :thumbs up

Mostly, though, give him a little time to get used to this new arrangement.

:grouphug: Sometimes I think the passing of friends is harder on the dogs than it is on us.

How are the rest of you doing?

MindysMom
January 13th, 2009, 09:18 PM
Our Mindy was heartbroken when our Golden, Zeus passed away in September. We took her with us as much as we could but it didn't seem to help. She had never been an only dog. It's certainly not the answer for everyone but she is so much more herself since we had a puppy come into our home at the end of November.

Dee-O-Gee
January 13th, 2009, 09:50 PM
Thank you so much Hazelrunn for following our story. Your kind thoughts are truly appreciated.

Gryphon had his first day alone today with National Public Radio in surround sound! We decided NOT to give him the Acevet Tranquilizers and much to our surprise he just laid quietly (and sad) on the livingroom floor.

We are all holding on O.K. We gathered up pictures of Bailey and bought a nice frame and wrote on the matting different memories and thoughts of her. We put it all together and hung it directly over her "spot" where she always laid. It was a centralized spot and we all stop, look and read our fond memories which brings us all, a smile.

Thank you once again.

hazelrunpack
January 13th, 2009, 11:36 PM
The memory collage was a wonderful idea! :cloud9: Good memories are the best heart-healers.

And good boy, Gryphon! Give him a kiss in that special spot between the eyes for me.

Love4himies
January 14th, 2009, 07:43 AM
Poor Gryphon :grouphug: :sad:. I agree with hazel, try to go on as normal as you can, it will make it so much easier on him.

Dee-O-Gee
January 14th, 2009, 09:29 PM
Today brought us a bizarre twist. When we woke up this morning we found that Gryphon pooped on the floor (unfortunately next to Bailey's bed). We didn't make a big fuss about it to him and let him outside in his usual routine. He has never pooped inside the house--even when a puppy! We had to go about our normal workday and once again, left NPR radio on in surround sound!

When our daughter came home from school today, he didn't even greet her at the door. He just laid off to the side of the door and shakingly wagged his tail--almost like he thought he did something bad.

He has slept all evening with exception of a few minutes of playtime tonight.

Oh-hum--I've given him the hugs and kissed him right between the eyes. :confused:

hazelrunpack
January 14th, 2009, 09:41 PM
This might be more than just grief, klmccallum. Have you had him to the vet since Bailey died?

If he checks out okay physically, maybe your vet would have some suggestions on helping him through this. :grouphug:

Dee-O-Gee
January 14th, 2009, 09:57 PM
His appetite is good and he still drinks like a waterfall. The last 2 nights I have changed our nightly routine and have left our bedroom door open for him to roam. Tonight, I'm going back to the routine that he has been use to all along. I thought by leaving the bedroom door open, it would give him his own space to escape but I think that by leaving the routine, it didn't do him any good. Will check back tomorrow.

Dee-O-Gee
January 15th, 2009, 08:50 PM
Gryphon had a good night and a good day today. No unexpected found treasures (poops) and he was rather playful this evening and had a great walk tonight in this brisk weather.

Bailey came home today. We placed her in a common area where we will only recognize her presence. :rip: my sweet Golden :angel2:

hazelrunpack
January 15th, 2009, 09:08 PM
I'm so glad Gryphon had a better night/day. Perhaps he knew Bailey was coming home today. :grouphug:

Dee-O-Gee
January 20th, 2009, 10:00 PM
Well it's been a week and a half since our Sweet Angel's passing. Gryphon is slowing coming back to his own silly self. I noted earlier that he (Gryphon) wouldn't step on Bailey's bed nor go near any of her toys.

Well the past few nights, he has flown up the stairs into our room and has "flopped" on her (Bailey's) bed. I have given him big strokes and pets encouraging him but he ultimately saunders back and and lays in his own spot where he is use to.

Last night upon my return from work, I was greeted at the door by him--happy to see me and holding Bailey's "Booda" stuffy toy--I smiled :)

He seems to be coming around but we're still having a problem with him seeking out her hidden "POOPSICLE" treasures out in the back yard!

Thank you to everyone here on pets.ca for helping me through this very difficult time--it's truly an honour and a big support. :thumbs up

:rip: Bailey--my golden :angel2: