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Dealing with the loss of a pet and a friend...?

bcalamity
January 11th, 2009, 12:17 PM
Hey guys,

The past summer, as I think some of you might remember, my cat Mishka went missing. It was very difficult for me because I had had for her entire 8 years, and she had been with me my first years in a new country... and my years growing up from an awkward 12 year old to who I am today. Well it's almost been 7 months she went missing (I can't believe it's already been so long!).

In the past seven months I've dreamt about her so often. At the beginning it was every single night, where I would dream I was searching for her and I'd find her... and I thought the dreaming would stop. But still, even up to the last week, I have dreams about her coming back. In the dreams I always find out she's been real close by all this time. I even once dreamt that I found her in my basement and she was upset with me. She was upset that I hadn't looked for her and I'm guessing all this roots from my guilt from not having found her.

I still can't get myself to put all of her things away. Her litter box and package of food is sitting in the basement! :(

Aside from that, I recently lost a good friend of mine to Leukemia. Her loss has hit me differently... in the way that I'm not grieving as much. I'm more just blank.

How do you guys deal with loss? Someone recommended I do something to remember them by. I created little memorial pages in my notebook for each of them... but still I dream about them all the time... and the dreaming is so stressful... Do you guys have any advice?

Thanks in advance.

Soter
January 11th, 2009, 03:23 PM
Gosh, I am so sorry to hear that!

My condolances to :rip:Mishka :rip:good friend


Mishka going was not your fault, keep telling yourself that.
Do you have other pets? If not, fill the missing gap of her by maybe getting another cat.

Everyone mourns in their own way for someone who has died, I think everyone just needs time, thats all.

The memorial pages sound great, it's always good to remeber people (and pets)

:cat::angel: :):angel:

wenchee
January 14th, 2009, 05:59 PM
RIP Mishka and Friend.

So very sorry for your losses.

it's terribly cliche to say time - perhaps a long long time - will help treat the wound but just let others be your shoulder when those wounds re-open from time to time.

shirley1011
January 14th, 2009, 06:21 PM
I am sorry you didn't find Mishka....there are too many out there that have just never been found.....and it is very
hard to grieve when you don't know what really has happened them.
It has been over two years now for Sable and although I still think of him, I find the memories of him overshadow the sadness.
I hope with time you will come to terms with Mishka as well, although I'm not sure we will ever stop looking over our shoulders always looking for them to appear.
I did plant a beautiful Rose of Sharon on the 2nd anniversary and will always remember him when I look at it each year.

bcalamity
January 16th, 2009, 03:44 PM
Thank you for your advice guys... friends have helped a lot at the worst of this, and I agree that keeping friends close by is important. Shirley, thank you. I have read a lot about Sable, and I'm sorry you haven't found him. You're so right when you say it's difficult to move on when you don't know what really happend.

I remember my friend who passed away recently when searching for mishka one night, despite being very sick. I hope that maybe the two of them are together now somewhere... wherever the people and animals we love go.

Shirley, I think that maybe in the summer I will plant something in the memory of the both of them. Thanks for the idea...