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For all the females here

rotts4ever
December 22nd, 2008, 10:38 AM
A Christmas Wish For You

Merry Christmas To My Female Friends
If I were ol Santa, you know what Id do
Id dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.
Id give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
Id bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
Id draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till youd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
Id remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldnt spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
Youd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
And you wouldnt hear noises like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
No searching for spectacles when theyre right on your nose
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks youre a nervous old granny.
Youd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles wont ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, youd never look stupid
Youd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
Id give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! Im not Santa.Im simply just me
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms Ive got
But Im due at my doctors for an estrogen shot.
Even though weve grown older this wish is sincere
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year :laughing:

kiara
December 22nd, 2008, 03:18 PM
Lovely poem and how true! Thanks for sharing. Now they need to make one up for men! Happy holidays and a great new year to you and your family.

chico2
December 22nd, 2008, 04:02 PM
rotts4ever,just about every sentence applies to me:laughing:thank's!

rotts4ever
December 22nd, 2008, 06:23 PM
Dear Lord,

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:

God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.

Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.

When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.com :grouphug:

erykah1310
December 22nd, 2008, 06:37 PM
Aw those are great!