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Comfort

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 12:21 AM
I need to say that I need some comfort from my pets.ca friends, some of you know the history of me but I will give a little bit to the newbies that don't know me well...fist thank you all of you who helped me in this past year about this time when my DH was ill.

My DH this time last year was very ill with esophageal cancer, he was the strongest man that I have had the priviledge of knowing, he passed away on Jan 8th, 2008.

I miss him so much! But I know that he is with me here, I remember his smile that was not quite a smile, he did not share it with everyone either only special people, but the ones who recieved it knew that they were blessed. Now don't get me wrong, Hugh was not perfect, nope neither am I but he was perfect for me.

I am going to scan a couple of pictures to show you this smile of his but I may not be able to post them tonight as I am not a great computer kinda gal.

Thanks for listening, I send a special thanks to Breeze who started a thread for me last year that helped me through a tough time.

TeriM
December 19th, 2008, 12:37 AM
Awww Patti :grouphug:.

I am so glad you have asked for help and I would definately like to extend some hugs and caring your way (and a few to Sasha of course :D). This season must be an especially hard time for you. Losing your anchor and love is never easy and I know your road has not been an easy one. I think actually that it actually gets harder in the first year as time goes by because you get further away from the dealing with the details of death and your support gets back to day to day life. That ends up giving you time to be angry, sad, lonely and all the other emotions that tend to eat away at us. "They" call the it "the year of firsts" and it refers to the first time you do each thing alone that was always done together.

Anyway that is just a long way to say I care and the hugs I send you over the internet :grouphug: are not just virtual in my heart and I hope you can feel them in yours :).

clm
December 19th, 2008, 12:39 AM
Oh dear, so it's been almost a year since he's passed away. :grouphug: I'm sure you have a lot of painful memories from this time last year with him being so ill around this time. Isn't it wonderful that you have that really sweet memory of his smile though, and even a few pictures of it too.
Spend all the time you need to talking about him if it helps. We're all more than willing to listen. It's so hard during the holiday season to try to cope but try to remember the good things and times you shared during holidays.

Cindy

otter
December 19th, 2008, 12:51 AM
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

A picture or two would be great. Feel free to share a few tales of joy or sorrow if it helps you to remember or forget :goodvibes:

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 12:58 AM
Thank you, yes it has been difficult, I knew that I could count on my friends here, I cannot believe that it has been almost 1 year, I bought a Christmas present for Hugh, he always carried toothpicks with him and they would fall out of his pockets, well I found a pocket toothpick holder for him and had to buy it. I have a wonderful family who I will be surrounded by this Christmas and they will help me through this time but you gals/guys were my big time listeners and I needed to share with you too. I have learned so much about myself this past year...wow growing..I hate to shovel snow but guess what?? I do it now, this was actually a big thing for me, last winter after Hugh passed away I was so pissed that I had to shovel, this was his job not mine...I DID IT though and am so proud of myself, I will not get any notes from my letter carrier this year saying "no shovel, no mail". I am a strong person and I will get through this, and I will carry all of my memories of Hugh my DH forever.

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 01:03 AM
I tried to scan the pic I wanted to show you but was unsuccessful so I will describe it to you. We were at the lake doing timer pic's, Hugh set up the pic and I ran to set it off, when I came back to fall into his lap he grabbed my "B:censored:e", he thought that he was so cavalier, the grin in that picture is worth 10,000 words, it's a gotcha kind of smile.

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 01:06 AM
this pic that I attached has the GRIN...although not quite as broad.

TeriM
December 19th, 2008, 01:07 AM
I tried to scan the pic I wanted to show you but was unsuccessful so I will describe it to you. We were at the lake doing timer pic's, Hugh set up the pic and I ran to set it off, when I came back to fall into his lap he grabbed my "B:censored:e", he thought that he was so cavalier, the grin in that picture is worth 10,000 words, it's a gotcha kind of smile.

That sounds like a wonderful memory :cloud9:. I hope you can figure the scan thing out, it would be great to put a face to the man :).

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 01:08 AM
one of Hugh hugging his other favorite girl

TeriM
December 19th, 2008, 01:20 AM
He looks like he loves Sasha and that automatically makes a good man in my books :thumbs up.

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 01:23 AM
He loved her to bits TeriM, thanks so much, I am off to bed it is getting a bit late for me. nite. pbp

hazelrunpack
December 19th, 2008, 10:59 AM
:2huggers:

Patti, it's so generous of you to share your memories of Hugh. Helps us to know a wonderful man a little better and I hope it helps to ease your heart. :grouphug:

Chris21711
December 19th, 2008, 11:30 AM
Sharing is caring Patti, you cared about your man, that in itself is worth a thousand words :grouphug:

I moan and groan about Pepe, but would be totally lost if I didn't have him around. I can only imagine how you feel.

You know that anytime you feel a need to talk, this is the place to come. :)

rainbow
December 19th, 2008, 04:05 PM
Awww, Patti, I am sure that Hugh is looking down on you now and smiling. :angel2: :grouphug:

Everyone in the TJT knows how much I complain about my hubby (and with good cause sometimes too :D) but I also don't know what I would do without him. :o

You know you can always come here to "talk" but I am glad that you have family and friends to be with this time of year. :goodvibes:

Thanks for sharing your memories and the pic of Hugh....he looked like a wonderful caring man. :grouphug:

Frenchy
December 19th, 2008, 09:27 PM
Patti , this must be hard for you this time of year :sad:

but we are here for you :grouphug:

pbpatti
December 19th, 2008, 11:41 PM
I am a very strong person but the loss of a loved one is very difficult. I feel that Hugh is with me and has been comforting me. Sasha has been such a big part of my healing also, I do not know how I would have gotten through some days without her. She would tell you that yup, I AM THE BEST, right MOM?? and she would be right.

Did you have to show them this picture????

Frenchy
December 19th, 2008, 11:48 PM
:laughing: indecent exposure :laughing:

14+kitties
December 19th, 2008, 11:52 PM
pbpatti - It's been a tough year for you. The loss of a loved one is never ever easy. Especially at this time of the year. I lost my mom July 20th of this year. I miss her so very much and still shed tears almost every day. But I know she is safe with my dad and my sister. I know I will see her again.

The following is a poem you may like to read. I find it comforting to an extent. Please know all your friends here on Pets are ready and willing any time you need to chat.


When I Am Gone

When I am gone...release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears
Be thankful for our beautiful years.

I gave to you my love. You can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love each of you have shown
But now it's time that I traveled on alone.

So grieve a while for me if grieve you must
Then let your grief be confronted in trust
It's only for a short time that we must part
So cherish the moments locked within your heart.

I won't be far away for life does go on
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can't see me or touch me, I'll be near
And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
All my love around you, soft and clear.

And then when you must come this way alone,
I'll be waiting to greet you with a smile,
and say "Welcome home".

Author Unknown

hazelrunpack
December 20th, 2008, 12:00 AM
Such sweet abandon in that picture, patti! :cloud9:

And what a lovely poem, 14+!

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 12:08 AM
14+ thank you, that is a most wonderful poem. I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your Mom, it is hard and we remember them with love in our hearts and souls.

I have been trying to think of a poem or perhaps even a verse of a poem to send to the paper in memory of Hugh and I think you just gave me one.
Thanks so much.

sandlor
December 20th, 2008, 12:36 AM
I am a "newbie" but just wanted to say that I am glad you are getting such comfort from your pets and that you have learned how to shovel!!!!

:goodvibes:

rainbow
December 20th, 2008, 12:44 AM
LOL....Sasha porn. :laughing:

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 12:45 AM
Hi sandlor, nice to meet you, a big welcome. yeh, shoveling used to be a chore that I hated..now well if I want mail I gotta do it.

hazelrunpack
December 20th, 2008, 12:50 AM
This shows Hugh's special grin, I got him to pose beside one of his Gnomes at the lake
45533

He could never say no to Sasha, he had her trained, nope she had him trained; I give kiss, you give treat!
45534

Look close! This was a summer that I will never forget, we were so close and comfortable with each other. NOTE: the grin!
45535

hazelrunpack
December 20th, 2008, 12:51 AM
I absolutely love the pic of you and Hugh, patti!! :cloud9:

rainbow
December 20th, 2008, 12:54 AM
I love that one too :lovestruck: and also the one with Hugh on the stump beside the gnome.....I hope that you have them both framed. :cloud9:

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 12:55 AM
oh thank you so much for helping me with these Hazel, just showing you all my DH makes my heart go a tingling...skip and jump. pbp

rainbow
December 20th, 2008, 12:56 AM
I just had another look at the one with you and Hugh.....it looks like he was grabbing your boob. :D

Is that why you were laughing? :laughing:

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 12:57 AM
I love that one too :lovestruck: and also the one with Hugh on the stump beside the gnome.....I hope that you have them both framed. :cloud9:
before I can frame them I need to get them reproduced, I carry them in my purse, always

Frenchy
December 20th, 2008, 12:58 AM
I absolutely love the pic of you and Hugh, patti!! :cloud9:

Me too ! :lovestruck: You know , those men that don't seem to laugh easely , it's just because they don't want to let their guard down but , they are just the sweetest :cloud9:

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 12:58 AM
I just had another look at the one with you and Hugh.....it looks like he was grabbing your boob. :D

Is that why you were laughing? :laughing:
yup you got it, that is why he has that silly grin on his face it's a gotcha

Frenchy
December 20th, 2008, 01:00 AM
yup you got it, that is why he has that silly grin on his face it's a gotcha

I saw that :laughing: and you could see, not only was he smiling , he was proud of himself too :laughing: :lovestruck: :thumbs up

rainbow
December 20th, 2008, 01:02 AM
yup you got it, that is why he has that silly grin on his face it's a gotcha

No wonder his grin is such a fond memory. :D

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 01:04 AM
yes, this was good for me, I have shared and you have answered and given me smiles and giggles with your comments. thank you all

rainbow
December 20th, 2008, 01:07 AM
yes, this was good for me, I have shared and you have answered and given me smiles and giggles with your comments. thank you all

Patti, that's why we're here. ;) :grouphug:

TeriM
December 20th, 2008, 01:09 AM
Wonderful pics Patti. The one with the boob cracks me up and makes me go awwwww at the same time as the affection is very clear between you both :). My dad had that same sort of grin thing happening and I remember that it was one of lifes little rewards to see it :lovestruck:.

pbpatti
December 20th, 2008, 01:09 AM
Time for me to wish you all a good night. Thank you again, I will sign out on the tjt too....

14+kitties
December 20th, 2008, 08:00 AM
I am glad the poem gave you some comfort. And I must say thank you to you as well. ;)
I love the pics you shared. The one of the gnome is precious but they all are. And the "gotcha" one is just too cute!

breeze
December 20th, 2008, 12:25 PM
BIG BIG HUGS Patti

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Cathy1
December 20th, 2008, 12:55 PM
When my mother died a year ago on Nov4/07 the funeral director gave me this poem and I thought I would share it.

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights like heaven's stars
Reflecting in the snow.

The sight is so spectacular
please wipe away that tear
for I am spending CHRISTMAS
WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
but the sound of music can't compare
with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.

I have no words to tell you
of the JOY their voices bring
for it is beyond description
to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart
for I am spending CHRISTMAS
WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.

I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR
or the PEACE here in this place
Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS
WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face

I'll ask him to lift your spirit
as I tell him of your love
so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER
as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful
and let your spirit sing
for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN
and Iím walking WITH THE KING.

pbpatti
December 21st, 2008, 09:12 PM
cathy1, thank you, this is a beautiful poem.

joeysmama
December 22nd, 2008, 10:17 AM
OH Patti, I am so sorry for your loss. It must be especially difficult because of your special relationship. There are people who stay married into old age and never experience the kind of closeness that you had with Hugh.

I'm happy that you were blessed with that and sad that it ended too soon.:grouphug: