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To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Elizabeth Ann
December 2nd, 2008, 08:25 AM
(I just rec'd the below email and I thought I would share).

Dear Dogs and Cats,



The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:



To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:



1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)

3. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.



Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:



1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time.

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need gazillions of dollars for college, and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Mat&Murph
December 2nd, 2008, 10:55 AM
:laughing::D I love the letter to the furry kids!!!!! I need it for my bathroom when I go for my boys!!! hahahahah

phoozles
December 2nd, 2008, 01:03 PM
:laughing: loved it! If only :evil: Alley could read! :rolleyes:

Elizabeth Ann
December 2nd, 2008, 01:07 PM
"The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object"

This is so true for my house, but it's up or down... any direction I am going my two need to get there first.

janenebland
December 2nd, 2008, 05:14 PM
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
how amazingly selfish. i'm surprised that this person even has 'visitors' at all.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

that's just sad. what a feeble attempt at justifying loneliness. just because you can't get a partner and have kids doesn't mean that pets are a better alternative. here's one of many reasons why children are better than pets: they can take care of you when you're old. psh.

babymomma
December 2nd, 2008, 05:19 PM
how amazingly selfish. i'm surprised that this person even has 'visitors' at all.

that's just sad. what a feeble attempt at justifying loneliness. just because you can't get a partner and have kids doesn't mean that pets are a better alternative. here's one of many reasons why children are better than pets: they can take care of you when you're old. psh.

whoa there buddy. Its a joke, just because you dont have a sense of humor, it doesnt give you ANY right to trash talk somebody you know NOTHING about.

aslan
December 2nd, 2008, 05:21 PM
babymomma leave it...

Mat&Murph
December 2nd, 2008, 05:21 PM
Well said babyM. Called a joke

janenebland
December 2nd, 2008, 05:22 PM
explain how this is funny. i find no attempt at humour except for the first paragraph.

BenMax
December 2nd, 2008, 05:24 PM
Alrighty then.....:laughing:I will pass the following onto my collegues - I am certain that they will enjoy.

JennieV
December 2nd, 2008, 05:35 PM
This is too funny~~~! :crazy: :laughing::laughing:
Love it, will send it over to my friends and family.. :laughing::laughing:

babymomma
December 2nd, 2008, 05:40 PM
It is VERY funny..lol. Simply because its all true! lol...If somebody Didnt like my dog, they dont come into the house unless they are willing to deal with the fact that the dog will be dog kicking them off her side of the couch if they sit there. lol...


Accually, when i went to visit my nan (I know its horrible for me to say this, it is true and its another story), My nan is not a nice person, not at all. She asked if i was going to "tie that dog , outdoors" I said "No, accually i was just about to leave". so i left. If my dog isnt excepted, then in my opinion neitehr am I. She is a part of my life. I mean, She was 3 months old at the time and 4 lbs. Perfect prey for a hawk:eek:

aslan
December 2nd, 2008, 06:24 PM
:laughing: i do love the, they live here you don't one..

rainbow
December 3rd, 2008, 02:26 AM
Thanks for sharing EA.....it made me giggle. :D


explain how this is funny. i find no attempt at humour except for the first paragraph.

It must suck not to have any humour :sad: :grouphug: ....I can't imagne my life without it. :o

Brat
December 3rd, 2008, 03:27 PM
very cute! I love it..gonna print it out and post it somewhere :)

Karin
December 3rd, 2008, 03:59 PM
My circle of animal loving friends have a common saying on how to identify a true friend or a foe.
If you receive a covered dish or a home baked pie from someone and you find a dog/cat hair in it......it's a friend. So expect to find a hair.
If no hair is found then obviously this is a non animal lover so it must be a foe.
No apologies are needed if a hair is found too. An animal lover will simply remove it, and enjoy the dish.
If a receiver of said dish is grossed out and makes a fuss over said hair....you got it=FOE.
This was formulated after a covered dish event years ago with about 50 people in attendance, which 90 percent where critter lovers, 10 percent were complainers.
Guess what percentage enjoyed the party more...

Tundra_Queen
December 3rd, 2008, 06:34 PM
:laughing::laughing: *rolling on the floor* :laughing::laughing:

That is soooooo funny!

Debbie :laughing:

kiara
December 4th, 2008, 07:23 PM
I love no.11 Very funny, thanks for sharing.

Elizabeth Ann
December 9th, 2008, 01:37 PM
how amazingly selfish. i'm surprised that this person even has 'visitors' at all.

that's just sad. what a feeble attempt at justifying loneliness. just because you can't get a partner and have kids doesn't mean that pets are a better alternative. here's one of many reasons why children are better than pets: they can take care of you when you're old. psh.

I have a partner, in fact I just got married this past Saturday. We have both been known to say that as long as we have four legged children running around we have no need for the two legged kind, and I will give you one example why;

The four legged kind will never scream at the top of their lungs “I HATE YOU” in the middle of a busy department store. They will always love you unconditionally.

I am sure that the two legged variety do have their advantages, but my new husband and I most likely never know.

Anyways – I am glad I could share this chain email with everyone, and I am glad that 99% of you enjoyed it.