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Just something to tickle your funny bones

hazelrunpack
October 10th, 2008, 01:46 PM
It came in an email today... :D

Subject: Groaners

Something to take your mind off your troubles -

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Chris21711
October 10th, 2008, 01:51 PM
:laughing: Who sent you that madam hazel :rolleyes:

hazelrunpack
October 10th, 2008, 02:11 PM
A friend who works in my old office. :D She sent some others, but I'm too lazy to do the editing necessary to make it small enough to load on the board. :p Yep...madame hazel is operatin' in lazy mode today. :o

krdahmer
October 10th, 2008, 02:19 PM
:rolleyes::laughing: Oh now those are some groaners!!

14+kitties
October 10th, 2008, 02:19 PM
Very cute! Took me a minute to cypher some of them. My MIND is working on lazy mode today. :thumbs up

Chris21711
October 10th, 2008, 02:21 PM
Very cute! Took me a minute to cypher some of them. My MIND is working on lazy mode today. :thumbs up

We'll send you to join madam hazel :D

14+kitties
October 10th, 2008, 02:24 PM
Okey dok! Is that before or after I go buy the cat food for the kitties for the week and a gift for my daughter's birthday?
I just got home from work. My mind is allowed to hibernate for a few. :sleepy:

hazelrunpack
October 10th, 2008, 02:31 PM
I wonder if the one about the butcher getting a little behind in his work is how LP's dogs got sick :eek: Tainted meat! :eeew:

And I love the one about the police looking into the hole in the wall! :laughing:

rainbow
October 10th, 2008, 04:06 PM
I'm actually surprised that I haven't seen that one before. :rolleyes:

breeze
October 10th, 2008, 04:09 PM
some of them are great and other I just don't get....

words I've never seen before..lol lol

aslan
October 10th, 2008, 04:12 PM
:laughing::laughing::laughing: very cute

bendyfoot
October 10th, 2008, 04:28 PM
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


These two made me lol :laughing:, especially the first one :-)

growler~GateKeeper
October 11th, 2008, 02:58 AM
:laughing: I'll hafta pass this along hehe