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Kitty aggression

TLJ
September 30th, 2008, 09:53 AM
I recently adopted a male kitten (only about 2.5 weeks ago) and I already had a female cat of five years of age. As expected, she wasn't very pleased about the kitten being around. But when he came home with us, he acted very submissive to her, which I thought would make her feel like she was still the boss.

Sometimes they play, and sometimes it's very aggressive. She continues to make a low, whiny growl when he's around, and has been kind of anti-social when we're home. She has lived with other animals before, but they were adult animals. She even ended up loving the other cat, sleeping together in the laundry basket and such, but he stayed behind with my parents. She's been the only pet in the house for about five years now, though.

Since getting the kitten, she's been hanging out in my room and not socializing very much with us while we're hanging out in the living room. She used to come and hang with us while we watched TV, but because the kitten always wants to be with us, she's stopped coming around. They've been left alone together when we go to work, and when we come home they're both alive, so I know she doesn't want to kill him. And when I go to sleep I lock the kitten out of my room and she sleeps in my room on the couch, and she's affectionate towards me when no one else is around.

I guess what I want to know is, is this a matter of time? Will she always hate him, or just until he grows up and becomes more calm? How can I make her hate him less? How can I make her happy?

ownedbycats
September 30th, 2008, 10:03 AM
:fingerscr I hope this situation works out for you, its frustrating when your original cat starts to avoid you because they want to avoid kittens.
Kittens do play rough(sometimes i expect to see blood when my 7 go at it, though i havn't yet) that might be some of what you are seeing.
My older male cat avoids the kittens because he is afraid of their overprotective mama. Yours doesn't have his mom, but the female's instincts might be telling her that babies come with mamas ready to protect them and should be avoided.

weena
September 30th, 2008, 11:19 AM
Hi there, thanks for taking on a kitten...they don't act like cats..so your adult cat is perturbed by the kitten to beginwith because they usually are all over the place, without manners or decorum..my 16 year old female cat is now almost moved outside because of the arrival of the kitten...

we kept them apart, we traded blankets they slept on, we petted them each with the same sock...(to share scents), they saw each other through a window for a week and certainly heard each other as well..but whenthe door opened and she roaredout...the kitten went completely wild running here and there up and down...so my adult cat was horrified...so say the least..but there are a few web sites that talk about using phermones(spelling is not quite right) called Feliway...
however, try feeding them extra special treats at the same time plus...exercise the kitten alot
certainly try to have two litter boxes so your adult cat does not get startled by antics of the kitten...
hissing is just a warning to all to back off and as for growling well, if it gets bigger,, keep a pot lid or two around to drop and the noise will distract the aggression...
they do still sleep apart..the adult cat sleeps with us and for her own safety
the kitten sleeps in a kitty proof room (no electrical cords, no plants, no pottery etc) with her own kitty litter..
at week three,,,I am still working on it..plus with me keeping calmer...as the adult hisses...I am hoping..
but it can take awhile..bon chance

Love4himies
September 30th, 2008, 11:24 AM
Will they ever get along, that depends on your adult kitty. I have two adult females and foster kittens from the local shelter, both will growl and hiss at the kittens when they first come into the house and want nothing to do with them. One of the females used to be a momma (Sweet Pea) and she will eventually ease up on the kittens and takes on a disciplinarian/mother role that the kittens seem to be attracted to. She currently is attached to one of my fosters, but will growl and hiss at the kitten if she is not in the mood to play, then give the kitten kisses and cuddles an hour later :confused:. Unless your kitten does not give up on her, or your adult is really hurting the kitten, I would leave your adult cat to teach the kitten boundries, they talk the same language so the kitten will understand. If the kitten is relentless, distract the kitten with some play with you or another family member.

The other (Puddles) is a senior who grew up with another cat but she will NOT have anything to do with any kitten and prefers to be out of what ever room they are in and never warms up to them. She has no maternal instinct what so ever.:frustrated:

So what I am trying to say is nobody can answer that question, and it is a wait and see game. It may take a couple of months or years, but if they are playing now, I would put my money on, yes, they will be friends ;).

Whew, so after all that typing I think I really, really, really need to see pics of your kitties :D

ownedbycats
September 30th, 2008, 11:28 AM
Yes! Forgot the really important part. Pictures!

phoozles
September 30th, 2008, 02:29 PM
Your situation sounds very similar to what happened when we brought my kitten Alley home - My older guy, Jake, wasn't happy at all. It took about a month before he would come and sit on our laps like he used to, and it took about a year (right around the time she lost a lot of her 'kitteness') before I could say that he enjoys playing with her and likes her, for the most part (although I still haven't caught them snuggling at night, or anything).

There's no guarantee, but I was worried too - it just took time.

TLJ
October 1st, 2008, 07:20 AM
I've had Seven (the adult) since she was three months old, and I did teach her to play rough as there was a 100-lb. dog in the house. I don't remember when she lost her "kitten-ness" but Piet (the baby boy) is more rowdy than she ever was! I hope that once he gets neutered, he'll calm down some--and so will she!

Since we've had him for just under three weeks now, they've interacted plenty. They even sleep on the same bed sometimes, but it's like Seven can't look Piet in the eye. Sometimes it's Seven who's on the bed first, but sometimes it's Piet, so it appears she's making some kind of an effort, but is still really unhappy.

Anyway, pictures... sorry the one of Piet is so huge.

http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc265/aboutlindeman/piet3.jpg
Piet

http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc265/aboutlindeman/n758195393_906592_5559.jpg
Seven

14+kitties
October 1st, 2008, 07:28 AM
Did you do a slow intro with them? Or did you put them together immediately and hope for the best? They really should be slowly introduced. If that was not the case it may be a good idea to start over again and see how it goes from there. Sometimes it just takes a small separation for them to warm up to each other.


This is a fantastic site for giving you ideas on how to manage your kitties.

http://www.squidoo.com/multi-cat-management

chico2
October 1st, 2008, 07:34 AM
IMO,it's very important not to make the older cat feel left out..there is nothing wrong with letting the kitten stay on his own in a room,with toys and a litter box,so that Seven can have her regular quality time with you.
I would leave them separated when you leave the house,just to be sure.
Seven should also have a safe place where the kitten cannot reach her or she'll be stressed and maybe even start peeing on things,to show her displeasure.
It will take a little time,but well worth it:cat:

Love4himies
October 1st, 2008, 07:46 AM
Thanks for the pics. :lovestruck: :cloud9: They are too cute.

Love4himies
October 1st, 2008, 07:46 AM
Oh another thing I was going to mention, if you are stressed or anxious about them getting along, then Seven may be picking up on those emotions too.

kathryn
October 1st, 2008, 07:53 AM
They'll be fine. If she hated him that much she would have seriously injured him by now. Cute kitties! they'll be fine. Neutering will help too. Giving her free time with you is a good idea. Just give it a few more weeks and they'll either become best of friends or just will be indifferent to each other. I have a bunch of cats and foster kittens and not all the adults like the kittens, most do, but Kasey will often slap the kittens around a bit. He has never hurt them too bad though.

Love4himies
October 1st, 2008, 09:21 AM
They'll be fine. If she hated him that much she would have seriously injured him by now. Cute kitties! they'll be fine. Neutering will help too. Giving her free time with you is a good idea. Just give it a few more weeks and they'll either become best of friends or just will be indifferent to each other. I have a bunch of cats and foster kittens and not all the adults like the kittens, most do, but Kasey will often slap the kittens around a bit. He has never hurt them too bad though.


I agree and this is what I have found with my foster kittens and my resident adults.

Puddles will always hate the kittens, but she will never lift a paw to hurt them when they come close just warning hisses and growls.

TLJ
October 1st, 2008, 08:38 PM
Thanks for all of your replies.

When I first got Piet, I brought him directly into the backroom we had set up for him with his food and litter box. We put him in there for a couple of hours, but he was scared and confused by being in a new home, so we let him out--after all, he needs to adjust to us, as well.

The first week, we locked him in the back room when we went to work. But we both work full-time, and it broke my heart to leave him locked up for 9 hours a day, sometimes 12. So after observing them together, we thought they'd be OK if left alone during the day.

Piet is very submissive to Seven and she definitely tells him what to do (it involves lots of hissing). Seven hangs with me at bedtime, when Piet isn't allowed into my room. She usually comes up on my bed and lies right on top of me, purring loudly--so she doesn't hate me 100 per cent of the time.

I've been very careful to give her special attention, sometimes at the expense of the kitten--I know she may feel a little neglected or jealous, so we make an effort to play with her, to hold her and pet her.

I had noticed before deciding to get a kitten that she was becoming more needy yet strangely withdrawn, and really desperate for attention. I thought getting her a friend would keep her company. In that respect, she's stopped crying so much, and they DO play sometimes. I have faith she'll adapt, but I'm worried she'll never be the same. She's my little baby!

chico2
October 2nd, 2008, 06:56 AM
It seems you are doing all the right things and your idea for a companion for Seven was a good one,I always think 2 is better than one.
Some cats,especially females can be extra skittish(not all females,ok!)and tend to be loners.
They might never cuddle together,but I am sure Seven will accept her little friend,given time.

phoozles
October 2nd, 2008, 02:31 PM
It sounds to me like you're definitely on the right track - they might never be super close friends, but they are already on the next step to fully tolerating each other.. it took a year, but my Jake barely hisses at Alley anymore (it used to be at LEAST 10 times a day)..
I wouldn't bank on the neutering changing anything though.. a lot of times they are just as wacky - I know spaying my Alley didn't settle her down one bit. :laughing:

Love4himies
October 3rd, 2008, 07:28 AM
I really think they will become friends. Glad to hear that Piet is being submissive to Seven, it allows Seven to continue being the "queen" of the house making compatability between the two much better.