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When everything sucks....

July 17th, 2004, 12:10 AM
So my baby poodle Casey is still coughing, although sooo much better than before (and through all this he has continued to grow and gain wait, almost double his size from 6 weeks ago when he came into my life) and yesterday my husband had to have sudden surgery of a nature that he's not comfortable with me discussing (an internal abscess...). He's in the hospital, and since this is Korea that means I should be there much more often than not to take care of him. Meanwhile Casey needs attention too, and even had to go to the vet today... I've been going back and forth between hospital and home (takes about 15 minutes one way) continually for the last 30 hours... And I'm just online for a couple minutes here and making a plea for sympathy!!! I feel sorry for both of them too, especially my husband who is really in so much pain (and for Casey who doesn't understand why I come home for such a short time and then leave again and again), but honestly, this is really hard on me too. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted and I just want to take a shower and relax but all the free time I can give myself are these three minutes to make a plea for your sympathy... thanks in advance. :o

July 17th, 2004, 12:29 AM
I wish your hubby a fast recovery. And how's Casey doing now? where did you get him from that he needed to gain weight?

how much longer till your hubby is back home?

Sending good luck your way,and some R&R.

Please keep us updated and let us know what happens w/everything.

You do have a rough time right now. It does suck for those rough times, believe me been there done that.

July 17th, 2004, 12:41 AM
I found the easiest way to get deeper into a rut is by starting to view yourself as a victim and by making yourself feel small.

Validate that you are going through a lot but try not to let yourself 'feel' it MORE then you 'need' to!

Sometimes by rehashing things and looking for a way to constantly reinforce the negativity, it only makes you feel worse!

Try meditation, get a relaxation cd and listen to it before you go to bed.

There are so many little things you can do to avoid making yourself feel worse then need be!

I wish u the very best.

July 17th, 2004, 01:58 AM
My husband just called and told me he's going to take a nap and not to come in right now, so I have a little relaxation time here and then back to the hospital. Casey's taking a nap too, after a good hour of playing fetch and some training.

Daisy, thanks so much for your kind words! Casey needed to gain weight because he was about 8 weeks when I got him -- he got sick a week later, and then stayed the same weight but his body kept getting bigger. He was all bones and fur for a week there, but rice pudding pulled him through!

Luba, thank you too for your kind words and advice. I'd like to mention that I'm hardly wallowing in self-pity, although that may be the impression I gave in my original post. Actually, I'm very happy and feel very fortunate to have such a great husband and sweet pet, to be studying, to have family coming to visit from Canada next month, etc... But with about 4 hours of sleep, back and forth from the hospital (by foot every time in literal monsoon weather -- constantly soaked feet and pantlegs!) and very real and legitimate concern for the person and the pet I love most in the world, it feels like "everything sucks." The sun probably won't come out tomorrow as the forecast calls for more rain, but in a metaphoric sense at least, I'm sure it's just around the corner!

Cactus Flower
July 17th, 2004, 02:48 AM
That is a lot to contend with, and obviously you are far from home with no family there right now (glad they're coming to visit soon, though). You must feel very isolated and overwhelmed. I think that it is great that you are writing! Even writing on this message board is good self-therapy, a way to purge- rather than bottling everything up.
So you are in a state of SUPER-NURTURE, caring for the sick hubby, caring for the sick dog.....this can be exhausting not just physically, but emotionally. Life is full of peaks and valleys. When you're stuck in a valley (and it's RAINING in the valley, no less), don't forget to nurture YOU. I know your schedule is hectic, but even ten minutes to relax, or close your eyes and listen to music, take a bath....however you want to pamper yourself, and however briefly- should help.
When this passes, and things are looking bright again, think of how proud you will be of yourself for all that you overcame. Better yet, start being proud of yourself now!

Best of luck to you, your husband, and Casey.

July 17th, 2004, 06:44 AM
Moontamara,having spent the most of about 20yrs caring for two of my sons,with different degrees of disabilities,hospitals,surgeries,specialists etc...there are times,we as caregivers are allowed to wallow in selfpity,cry,scream,take a hot bath,get a little drunk,eat a box of choclate :D
After a selfpitying session,we are all ready to fight yet another day and every experience usually has a silverlining,we learn of our own strenghts we did not know we had.
Hopefully you,your husband and little Casey will have a wonderful sunny day today and I wish all three of you all the best :)

July 17th, 2004, 07:49 AM
OK - Maybe this is a bad, bad, bad idea, but one I would probably do, if it was my husband, and my puppy.

Get a large purse, or something like that, put the puppy in it, and go visit your husband. He'll love it, you both will be giggling and feel like co-conspirators. Humor is a big stress release. Don't get caught! :rolleyes:

Thanksgiving before last, my sister-in-law was in the hospital following hip replacement surgery. We took tiny Corky (8 wks old) in a quilted bag. My sis-law was happy to see us, lamenting she'd missed getting to see Corky. About that time, his head popped up! :eek: :D

Lucky Rescue
July 17th, 2004, 09:28 AM
I'm hardly wallowing in self-pity

Nothing wrong with wallowing in self pity! I've done it myself. :D

Talking about things can make them seem less overwhelming, and sometimes all we need is a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.

July 17th, 2004, 09:40 AM
Well you know, sometimes a great big old bawl session cleanses the soul and spirit!! Laugh about it, cry about it.....treat yourself to a little something special and know it will get better.

Wallowing if temporary as LR suggests can actually give you the time to yourself that you need.

What I was trying to say before is try not to let yourself get yourself down.
It's a hard thing not to do, but with practice you'll master it.

Validate how you feel, accept it and say hey....everything is gonna be alright!



July 17th, 2004, 01:33 PM
I wish you and your family all the best.

sending *HUGS* from Toronto! :)

July 17th, 2004, 08:56 PM
Thank you all so much! You helped me out a lot, and things are much better already. My husband is home from the hospital earlier than expected, and Casey's cough has suddenly gotten MUCH better, and I think he can even get his second round of immunizations this week. My husband is going to be fine too in a couple of days, and in the meanwhile it's much easier to take care of both of them now that he's home! :o Thanks again!!!!

July 17th, 2004, 09:03 PM
All together now!

"The sun will come out . . .tomorrow! Tomorrow!"

Glad things aren't so overwhelming. We all have those moments!

July 18th, 2004, 07:05 PM
that's excellent news!!!!

Don't forget to take a little time for yourself too though. I'm glad that your hubby and Casey are doing much better.

I glad that things will be better for you now. :)

July 18th, 2004, 08:18 PM
Such wonderful news!! Thats just great :D

July 19th, 2004, 06:51 AM
Glad your hubby is home that will make things much easier on you to get a little R&R

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for both your loved ones :)

July 19th, 2004, 10:33 AM
Now you can tuck them both in together and they can convalesce together. :)

July 20th, 2004, 12:27 AM
Thanks again for your kindness and understanding!!

The rain isn't even as heavy anymore and yesterday the sun shone for a an hour or so... things are really looking up!