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22 yr old Siamese dying

chico2
August 28th, 2008, 08:32 AM
My sons landlord called me last night,telling me he believes his 22yr old cat is dying:sad:,
I did not sleep very well,thinking about poor Winslet,I wish he did not call me.
He wanted to know why her paws are twice the normal size,swollen:shrug:
Winslet is nearly completely blind,always(since I've known her) has been incredibly skinny,but is now visibly very sick.
Another one of his cats,Asker,died by herself in the spring,she was 19yrs old..she too was sick,could not walk and I told him a million times to help her go peacefully and painlessly at the vets,but no.:sad:
and now the same with Winslet:cry:
He said someone told him to let her die at home,naturally,to me that is hogwash,his 22yr old faithful kitty deserves better than a painful death..
He believes I am one of those pet-owners who rush to the vet for any little thing,which I am not,but I would never watch an animal die slowly in pain.
If anyone can help me convince him,I will copy it and send it to him... am going there tomorrow and I dread it,I will take him to the vet with Winslet(he does not drive)to end this,if I can convince him:sad:

Love4himies
August 28th, 2008, 10:11 AM
:cry::cry: Oh chico, the kitty could be in pain, kitties hide their pain so well. After 22 years of loyal companionship, that kitty deserves to leave this earth in the loving arms of his guardian, not by himself. I hope you do convince him to take Winslet to the vet and holds him as he passes. I would never want my kitty to die alone.:sad:

badger
August 28th, 2008, 10:58 AM
I expect he needed your sympathy, not knowing it would upset you. Natural death? Please. Maybe he will think about it, now you have spoken.
Poor kitty.

14+kitties
August 28th, 2008, 11:26 AM
Send him this Chico.............. :candle:


MAY I GO

by Susan A. Jackson

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Dedicated to everyone who has ever had to put down a beloved pet.

Author: Susan A. Jackson

chico2
August 28th, 2008, 12:24 PM
Thank you for that 14+,but now I am bawling...:sad:

We'll see what happens tomorrow,I am supposed to take my son(who lives there)shopping,but that can wait.
You know,it's really difficult for me to keep my cool and not yell..
Also he wants to take her to the jerk who charge him for opting out of vaccines and that's 45min away:yell:
The last time that vet saw Winslet was when she was spayed.
I said we can go to any vet-clinic,it does not matter as long as we are there with her.
I have a feeling he wants to hold on and just see if her swollen paws can be treated,not that I blame him,but I think it's time for her to go...

14+kitties
August 28th, 2008, 12:28 PM
I bawled too Chico. With Mom's death still fairly recent anything like that sets me off. Oh heck, it sets me off anytime. I think that's about as close as you can get for his situation. I pray he does the right thing for Winslet. Poor baby. :fingerscr

sugarcatmom
August 28th, 2008, 02:29 PM
He wanted to know why her paws are twice the normal size,swollen:shrug:
Winslet is nearly completely blind,always(since I've known her) has been incredibly skinny,but is now visibly very sick.

How long has she been blind? At her age, the paw swelling could likely be fluid retention (edema) from heart or kidney failure. I'll try to find some links for you to print out for him later, but if that's what it is, her lungs could also be filling with fluid and that IS extremely painful and a horrible way to die (basically like drowning very slowly). It might be possible to treat this with diuretics, but at the very least, he MUST get her to a vet TODAY! It's absolutely cruel not to. If she looks miserable, I guarantee she feels 1000X worse.

Kodster
August 28th, 2008, 03:23 PM
Oh gosh, this is so sad. My sister is dealing with her 21 yr old Siamese in the process of dying but she's had her to the vet almost everyday and she doesn't seem to be in distress. Just old and tired. (I can relate to that)
What an incredible verse. Mind if I share this with a couple of friends that have recently had to make the difficult decision of euthanizing their cats, their best friends??
Hope this gets resolved in a timely manner for this poor Winslet..
Susan

lotus
August 28th, 2008, 03:45 PM
My Vet sent that to me with a sympathy card after we had our Lady put down. You made me cry 14+. But it's so true.

chico2
August 28th, 2008, 04:44 PM
Thank you SCM,I sent him what you said,I don't know if Winslet is completely blind,but her eyes are covered in a thick grey film.
I also told him,I'll drive there tonight if he wants,or whenever he wants..
Winslet has been with him through very bad and good times,I know he loves her very much and will probably break down without her:sad:but she needs help.
He has 2 more Siamese cats and a longhaired black/white beauty,hopefully he can take comfort from them once Winslet is put to rest,
I'll let you all know what happens tomorrow.

14+kitties
August 28th, 2008, 11:02 PM
Kodster - the verse isn't mine to say yea or nay. It is public so I am pretty sure you can share all you want. It is a beautiful poem, I agree. It had me bawling.
Lotus - I am sorry if I made you cry. :grouphug:

krdahmer
August 29th, 2008, 01:17 AM
Oh it's always so sad to hear of any animal suffering. I'm so sorry Chico. I'm sending :pray: & :goodvibes: for Winslet. And a big :grouphug: for you too.

growler~GateKeeper
August 29th, 2008, 01:34 AM
:sad: :grouphug:

:goodvibes: :pray: for Winslet

chico2
August 29th, 2008, 07:54 AM
I woke up this morning at 5am,dreading today,only to find an e-mail from the owner,saying Winslet is doing better,eating,drinking and getting around,but slowly:sad:
He says he's taking it one day at a time,I cannot force him to let her go:sad::yell:
With the long weekend coming,the Mississauga Emergency clinic will be his only option,so I'll be prepared to take him there..
I should probably not say this in a public Forum,but he also mentioned his other cat Asker,dying"happily"at home:evil: NO SHE DID NOT!!!

He also said thank's for the poem,Sugarcatmoms probable diagnosis and others advice that I sent to him,much good it did.
I am going there this morning anyway,for my son,I'll see for myself how Winslet is...I wish there was a vet who could come to the house,but he does not have a regular vet like most of us,his cats are strictly indoors and don't go to the vet,only the initial spay/neuter and first shots.

14+kitties
August 29th, 2008, 08:17 AM
Nothing to say. It's just :sad:

Love4himies
August 29th, 2008, 08:19 AM
Good luck today, chico :grouphug:

chico2
August 29th, 2008, 04:52 PM
No good news,nothing but frustration and anger:yell:
I went there this morning,the owner not at home(probably at the gym),I could not find Winslet.
Took my son shopping came back still no owner,Winslet hiding somewhere in the 3 story house:sad:
I had to go home,but cried all the way home,not given the chance to help her.
The owner told my son,he'll keep her ashes in an urn and I said f.....k the ashes,she needs help now(yes,I said the bad word).
My son said she will take a few steps then fall asleep on the spot...I am just so angry with myself,for not just taking her away,if I could have found her.
I have a feeling it's a money issue and that makes it even worse,he certainly has enough money.
How could I be sooo wrong,I thought he loved his cats:sad:
My offer still stands with him,I will drive to Mississauga any time and take her to a vet to end her suffering....OMG,I can think of nothing else:sad:

clm
August 29th, 2008, 05:31 PM
Chico2, you can only hope that the cat isn't in pain, and she really may not be you know. He may just not be willing to let go of his pet, and while he's stupid for not realizing the cat may be suffering, he may really be in denial about the whole thing. It's so sad for the poor cat, and even sadder that he just can't see it, but you can't beat yourself up about it. You've offered to help, all you can do is hope he takes you up on it.

Cindy

14+kitties
August 29th, 2008, 06:36 PM
Ditto what clm said, Chico. :grouphug: to you for caring so much. I know it's hard. You can only do what you can do. Hopefully he will realize the poor kitty is ready to go.

Love4himies
August 29th, 2008, 07:39 PM
I think he doesn't want to have the responsibility to let go of his kitty. Poor kitty, I hope Winslet is not in pain or die alone. You did your best and that is all you can do.:grouphug:

A :pray: for Winslet.

Frenchy
August 29th, 2008, 08:56 PM
I'm sorry you have to deal with this Chico2 :sad: maybe if you keep explaining things to him , he will understand ? :fingerscr

Jim Hall
August 29th, 2008, 09:29 PM
sorry cant reallty add anything except it sucks

chico2
August 30th, 2008, 09:14 AM
Yes,you are all right.
I know he cares for her and probably does not want to lose her,but we all feel that way about our animals,we have to do whats right,spending money on her though is definetly an issue.
He wrote me an e-mail,saying she's doing better,a friend of his told him,taking her to the vet would put her in to shock at her age.:yell:
He says he went to the drugstore got some diuretics(sp?)for humans to give her:yell:
I wrote him back,even if she's not dying,only a vet can determine how sick she really is.
I am out of it now,it's up to him,I've had my say....:sad:

14+kitties
August 30th, 2008, 03:16 PM
Chico - you need to clear out your messages so I can PM you. :thumbs up

I hope this guy makes up his mind soon as to whether the kitty needs to see a vet or be put down. Poor kit. :sad:

chico2
August 30th, 2008, 03:32 PM
14+,DONE:thumbs up

14+kitties
August 30th, 2008, 03:35 PM
Thanks!! Message coming.......

Puss'FavPerson
August 30th, 2008, 03:54 PM
This is a subject I can identify with.

This July we had to put down our Puss, at age 10. I struggled with this, first because we were kinda' taken by surprise that it had come to that and second, because the night we brought her home from the vet's to say our goodbyes she showed "sudden improvement".

I saw xrays of this cat ... she had 6-8 inches of her spine badly deteriorated from her neck down. There is no way that she wasn't suffering daily.

Before the visit to the vet, she had been withdrawing from us. Always hiding herself away and not eating. After that trip to the vet, where the decision was made to end her suffering, we took her home for the night just to let the kids and us say our farewells.

When we came home, it was weird, like she knew ...
she sat on my lap, she stayed with us all night, she ate and drank a little. I balled my eyes out sleeping on the floor with her that night, and in the morning I felt horrible, like, maybe she's trying to tell me she's not ready to leave us. My brain knew she was in pain, I saw proof, but in my heart I wanted to believe she was choosing to try for us.

We went to meet our vet at 10am. She & I were crying, and I said about our evening. I asked her (trust her completely), the only question that mattered ... Is she in pain all the time? She replied that there is no possible way that she couldn't be. So, I heard myself saying I love her too much to make her live that way for my own selfish reasons when I have the power to help her. My hubby couldn't take it and left the room. I refused to abandon her, and stayed with her and held her through the entire procedure.

She didn't go easily. Because she had lived with so much pain and developed a way to block it, she was able to block the meds that were to calm her before the final needle. It took enough sedative to knock out a 40lb dog to get her calm enough to euthanise. It was AWFUL.

I was destroyed, thinking I made the wrong choice going into it; I suffered guilt and regret when it was done. I know it's easier to choose to hold on to them. That's maybe why your son is against doing it ... if you're connected to your pet, it is NOT an easy thing to let go.

Now that first day was tough, but once the shock wore off and I started the grieving, I was totally able to face what I'd done. And I have no doubt it was the kindest thing I could do for a beloved member of the family. There comes a point when you just know that there no more "quality" of life for them, it's only going to get worse, and harder to watch someone you love suffer.

Puss'FavPerson
August 30th, 2008, 04:00 PM
My apologies, your sons landlord, I see is the stick in the mud.:sorry:

Emotion got the better of me too.

14+kitties
August 30th, 2008, 04:00 PM
Puss'FavPerson - I remember when you were agonizing over your decision. It is hard at any time to say goodbye. But we, as humans, should be the ones who say ok, our sweet pet has suffered enough. Let's end it for the pet's sake, not ours. :grouphug: to you. I hope it is getting better, that the good memories are outweighing the bad.

Btw - It isn't Chico's son. It's her son's landlord.

chico2
August 30th, 2008, 04:58 PM
PFP,I know what you are talking about,I have 4 cats buried in my yard,all of them reached a ripe old age,losing them is like losing part of yourself.:sad:
I am sorry there was so much trouble with your kitty,all mine only got one needle and they passed away in my arms.
A peaceful,painless way to go,I wish they could do the same for us humans.
Of course it's painless for the cats,not so for us,but we owe it to our sweet cats to end any suffering that cannot be cured.

Puss'FavPerson
August 30th, 2008, 06:20 PM
Isn't it strange that we cannot make the choice to end human suffering, when it's so obvious the person can never be made better, and even when the person themselves wants to choose ending it?

chico2
August 31st, 2008, 07:43 AM
Just to clarify,the owner called ME,said his 22yr old cat was dying,swollen paws,falling over,sleeping in the litterbox.
I don't know what advice he expected,to me there was only one,the vet and I would drive him,help him through this.
Now,all of a sudden she is much better:shrug:Which is wonderful,if true:fingerscr