I am uneasy with my neighbour...need some advice

I recently got new neighbours and they are very biased against certain dog breeds, and from what I see they are very very uneasy with any dog. The wife gave me a list of dogs that she "hates" (dobermans, sheppards, boxers, rottweilers, pit bulls, danes and huskies) and asked if my dog was a husky because she had a curly tail. Nope she's not husky........and that was okay with her, she relaxed a little bit. Didn't last long.....one day she asked why Zoe has black on her tongue, I slipped and said she is part Chow.:wall:

She said that she heard my dog barking one night (Zoe was inside and worked up).......yes she was barking there was two foxes in the backyard. I said the only time you hear her bark is if there is something or someone outside. I told her to ask the other neighbours, Zoe had stopped theives from breaking into my other neighbours garage, when she barks there is a reason. She is not a dog that barks just to hear herself talk. Plus at the first bark I am on it, I know the difference from a wildlife alert and a stranger alert. I don't let her bark uncontrolably

So I have been changing some things that I normally do just for the sake of keeping the peace. Right now a fence is impossible, just don't have the funds and our shared side of the yard is at least 150 feet. So I no longer allow Zoe to bring out bones or her cow hooves, stuffies are brought back in at the end of the day,wading pool is put away every night, I don't want possible guarding problems. She is never left unattended ( that isn't something new), I shortened her lead outside so she can't put a foot over into their yard, she is also never loose (again not something new).

So then her little fellow starts to walk......and because he is getting pretty quick he bolts for my yard and the dog. OMG.....the mom has a fit!!! Meanwhile Zoe is sitting, staying and wiggling her butt off. I tried telling the mom it is okay, and putting on a big dramatic show is not what you want to do. Zoe is good with kids. I can see part of how she sees it, a little fellow that can do anything at any moment....but I am trying to show her a safe way that we can get along. But it is getting to the point were I just want to scream...hey lady I have control over my dog.....would you please control yourself and the kid!!

So this brings me to tonight. I was playing kick ball with Zoe, and my neighbours and some of their company came outside. Well the little guy wanted Zoe's ball and was putting up a huge fuss because he couldn't have it. He escaped three times into my yard before I was in a round about way told to take my dog inside and put away the balls because I was causing problems. Even the company was givng me evil looks.

:confused:What do I do??? I am having a really hard time finding a polite way to handle this. I have basically spent my entire summer inside for fear of offending my neighbours. All my other neighbours have had dogs that lived in that house....its a funny set up, our houses have about six feet between each other. Until we can get a fence up.....oh hopefully next year....I couldn't put up with another summer like this one. It's like I am expected not to go outside till after the sun goes down....and so help me if I make any noise.:confused:

uh... as a mother lemme say this.....

its their responsibility to make sure their children are watched. YOU do not need to put a fence up... YOU were there first. THEY put the fence up because THEY have a problem with your yard (dog, trees, mud or otherwise). simple as that. if they didnt like a dog as a neighbor they shouldnt have bought the house.

-ashley

Been there, done that. Put the For Sale sign up because it's the only way you can deal with :loser:s like that! Not even a fence will make them happy because it will be encroaching on their property or it will not be high enough or they won't like the wood you built it with or......... got the point? They will never, ever be happy.

they can also get over it. i wouldnt let a new neighbor drive me out of my home. im just stubborn like that.

-ash

Just thought........ to protect yourself carry a camera with you. IF something happens that they think they can blame on you....kid comes to your yard and gets knocked down by a happy dog or something..... pictoral proof is good. Not trying to scare you. Just saying.. been there.

IMHO, i would stop being so concerned about the hissy neighbour, if she has something to say, inform her you and your family whether skin or fur were here before them. you love your pets as much as she loves her child. I would not let her force me into hiding in my home, and if she has company, and they don't want to be around the dog THEY can go in the house. If her child wants the ball so bad and is having a fit about it, he should be taken inside, not Zoe. If these people didn't look into the fact that hmmm maybe the neighbours might have a dog, this isn't your problem. You've been being exceptionally nice to the point of bending over backwards for this "B". She in my opinion was offensive right off the bat with her list of dogs she hate. lol me being me, i'd have said Zoe was a mix of all of them.:evil:

Honestly if it were up to me, i wouldnt give two thoughts about it. Its your yard your dog is under control and good with kids. Her kid is the one who isnt in control if she cant get it to not run after a ball that you are playing with in the first place. you should have to tip toe around to please your neighbours. your dog isnt causeing any problems, and isnt bark un necessairly. when you get a fence hopefully that will shut her up, but honestly dont worry about offeneding them or anything, if they are haivng a problem with it they can put up a fence or shut up...

Wow. I cannot believe that people can be so rude. To give you a list of dogs she "hates"? How is that your problem? So if you owned a Doberman, what would have been her expectation? Their issues are not your problem. It's apparent that she's had a bad experience with a dog. I can understand wanting to be neighbourly but it seems as though you've made numerous accommodations to suit their needs. What about your needs? Your pup's?
Had I been asked to stop playing with my dog, in my own backyard, I wouldn't have been very polite. I know it sounds strange, but I would start writing things down and keep a record of these "requests".

ou, if you see her, can you do me a favour please?? ask her why she hates those breeds of dogs?

also i think you did the right thing by taking her leash back a foot, that's making sure oyur not in the wrong!:thumbs up and its her kids faulT!

just out of curiosity, did you happen to keep the list she gave you of the dogs she hates, just incase she tries to 'cause you any problems.

See heres the thing, I didnt write the whole story because it would take all night to write it.

I have a huge huge yard. I have been starting to go way out back just so I don't have to see them. I put Zoe in the dog kennel or I set up her run at the back of my property. The other day I was reading a book way out back and I felt Zoe's head bomp the underside of the lawn chair, I looked up and the woman and her kid are halfway into my yard and she yells "make sure your dog is tied up I need to ask you a question" I said she is always tied up. Anyways she wanted to talk about what was stealing her birdseed and pooping in her yard, and she told me to hang on to my dog so she could put the baby down, I didn't...I was a little peeved off.....so as she is yapping the baby got a bit away from her, then Zoe and the baby are sitting side by side, the baby was eating a peice of grass and Zoe was watching ( I think in amazment that she met another creature that had a taste for grass). When she finally noticed she freaked, scooped the kid up and stomped away.

Then today she came to the back door and rattled the screen door (the inside door was open), then claimed that she was sure she was going to be eaten and that I should keep my doors closed and get a door bell. Meanwhile Zoe barked twice and sat with her nose pressed against the screen wagging her tail.....she knows who the lady is.

This is just a nightmare.......I so miss my old neighbours.

I'd buy her one of those kid "leashes" and tell her, if it works for my dog, maybe it'll work for your kid. Have some other neighbors over for a BBQ and then tell her to put her kid in the house because HE is causing YOU problems. The other neighbors can act as your witnesses that you have asked her not to allow the child in your yard. She is such a :loser:

:wall::wall: seriously next time she comes on YOUR property and tells you to hold onto your dog, or whatever quite plainly say NO!!!! Now the evil side of me is coming out and i think we should have a doggie playdate at your place, i'll bring my 3, wd brings his 3, chris can bring iggy, winston, ummmm ohoh sylvies pack, oh and chase_moms2, hmmm who else is there.... lol, must go spread the word.scampers off to create havoc...

Aslan- i can bring the german shepherd i walk! I would so fly to where evr you live just to Pee That B-I badword off! :evil:

What a :loser:! I swear I smell trouble! Why, if she has such a problem with the dog, is she coming to your door? Ask her politely to stay on her side of the yard if she has a problem. And keep track of everything.

If it were me I'd go get some of that orange plastic snow fencing and some posts. String it along between the yards so their kid and the b*tch can't come in to your yard. I know it wouldn't stop much like a real fence but to me the problem seems to be more them coming in to your yard than the other way around.

And, I had an ******* neighbour where I used to live. To this day Dracko does not know how to play outside by himself as when he was younger I couldn't leave him outside EVER by himself. The guy poisoned Dracko and the 2 huskeys on his other side and they all almost died. He took me to court over Dracko's barking (I won). I had very high fences, too. Didn't matter. The guy had a hate on for dogs.

ugh, she sounds like such a PIA, my god. I am coming to this play date, caus ei mean Enzo really knows how to get it going! I agree with aslan though just plain out tell her "NO!, i will not hold my dog..we are in my yard and he is friendly!" and ask her to not come in to your yard if she has such a problem with you "big mean dog" some people!:wall:

Awwww that's so crazy!!

I know it's hard, and you don't want to cause problems, and I am almost certain, that if Zoe even pushed over or walked close to their kid, they will call the police and try to have your dog put down, claiming it's vicious!! So please be very careful, if you can maybe some cameras on the property, to capture everything, just in case.

On the other hand it's your property, you have a right to use it and live in peace!! You have to be firm with your neighbours, and establish boundries ASAP. Let them know you love dogs, and have no intention of moving or getting rid of your dog, and that you spend lots of time in your yard with your dog, and have no intentions of stopping!! And that their fear of dogs is their problem not yours, and that if they don't like it.....they should build a big high fence or move.
Letting them know where you stand early on could save alot of problems later on.

I wish you the best of luck with these animal hating neighbours.

Can you politely tell her that if she's so uneasy about Zoe, that she ought to call you instead of crossing over onto your property if she needs to speak with you? That dogs can pick up on tension felt by other ppl and that you're not comfortable with that.

In the meantime, is there some type of temporary fencing you can get up? I forgot the name, Hazelrunpack mentioned it, I call it 'deer fencing.' It's not to keep Zoe in, but to keep her and her child out.

ohhhh some really good ideas. I should be keeping a journal of what happens, excellent idea. I shot her list out because it just disgusted me. She had a hard time accepting the story I told her of a Golden Retriver attacking my dog and biting my hubby. Trying to explain to her that anything that has teeth has the potential to bite. As soon as she gave me that list I knew we were going to have a problem.

I should have a puppy party......I have friends with many of the "listed" dogs and they all have children too.

I am mad at myself for being over-accomadating, I have a problem with conflict, and try to manage a way without getting nasty. But I also have a line, takes a long time for me to get there sometimes, but then I just want to explode. Then it's too late because I still look like the idiot because I let it go too far.

I should introduce her to my cat......now there is something to be afaid off.

I should have a puppy party......I have friends with many of the "listed" dogs and they all have children too.


Do it! and have them all bring their children, explain the situation to them, and have the kids playing with the dog, sitting with the dogs...what ever. Then after a while, invite the annoying neightboor over ( you know she will have looked out to see whats going on, and she her reaction, and she is she will come over

I am mad at myself for being over-accomadating, I have a problem with conflict, and try to manage a way without getting nasty. But I also have a line, takes a long time for me to get there sometimes, but then I just want to explode. Then it's too late because I still look like the idiot because I let it go too far.

I should introduce her to my cat......now there is something to be afaid off.

Dont be mad at yourself! you were over accomadating, but everyone has done that, and in the end it can bite oyu in the rear.

Can you politely tell her that if she's so uneasy about Zoe, that she ought to call you instead of crossing over onto your property if she needs to speak with you? That dogs can pick up on tension felt by other ppl and that you're not comfortable with that.

In the meantime, is there some type of temporary fencing you can get up? I forgot the name, Hazelrunpack mentioned it, I call it 'deer fencing.' It's not to keep Zoe in, but to keep her and her child out.


You hit the nail on the head with that one. It is one of my worries to with the tension. Zoe knows I get on edge as soon as I see them, then with the mom nervous......it's just one big tension filled cloud. I don't want to make a mistake, I have to stop myself from grabbing Zoe's leash and moving her. I have gotten up and blocked the kid, picked him up and brought him home. I try not to be nervous with the kid, but I get so frustrated. Sad to think the little fellow wants to see the dog so bad and has to live with dog haters and learn how to fear dogs just because.

How strong is this deer fencing?? The kid couldn't just walk right through it?? I would imagine that it would send a message......probably one that would make me into a kid hater....twist it right around.

this is the thread lp is talking about, they show the fencing.

www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=54943&highlight=fencing

:laughing: You're too fast for me, Aslan.

It's the fencing that Hazel posted in her pic, dogcatharmony.

I, too, have a problem with conflicts, or more like confrontation until it's too late and I blow :o. Living in a heavily child populated area, I learned that I can't trust all parents to watch their children as they should. We ended up putting two layers of fencing about 1 1/2 feet apart to keep little hands safe and out of our yard.

How strong is this deer fencing?? The kid couldn't just walk right through it?? I would imagine that it would send a message......probably one that would make me into a kid hater....twist it right around.


I think it will definately get the message across with out coming across to rude, its like please stay out of my yard, and if she doesnt stay out after that, be more direct. I didnt think of putting up a light fencing like that, but it wwould be study enough to deter the kid but not stong enough to hold a determined dog back. Its very sad that the kid cant go see Zoe :sad:

oh........ok.......I am a fool. When you said deer fencing I was thinking of the little orange plastic fences I see up in the winter time........uhhhhhduhhhhh that is snow fencing I was thinking about.

That deer fencing looks like it could be a good idea.....I will have to go looking for some. I could always reuse it at the back after if we put up a wooden fence.

Thank you!!!!:thumbs up

Don't forget to put up the multiple "Beware Of Dog" signs on the side facing your neighbors :D.

What a nightmare.....I'm so scared of eventually ending up in such a situation myself, b/c I don't do well with conflict either!

I hope the deer fencing works out for you, and don't hesitate to tell her to stay out of your yard. Tell her to mail you a letter with her next list of demands. :evil:

If you live in BC I am happy to come visit with my three dogs!!! LOL Do the fencing posting it's cheap and will help, I had to do the same at a place I lived once.

I think you should start fostering some dogs in need... in fact, I think you should foster a doberman, a sheppard, a boxer, a rottweiler, a pittie, a dane and a husky. I will happily ship you some extra dog food if you choose to do so.

I do like Dracko's idea of the orange fencing. I'd probably do that if it were me.

I do have a crawling baby... and as a mother, it's MY responsibility to watch him at all times. your neighbor is irresponsible, and a jerk. maybe if you foster all the dogs mentioned above, they'll move. ;)

I think you should start fostering some dogs in need... in fact, I think you should foster a doberman, a sheppard, a boxer, a rottweiler, a pittie, a dane and a husky. I will happily ship you some extra dog food if you choose to do so.

I do like Dracko's idea of the orange fencing. I'd probably do that if it were me.

I do have a crawling baby... and as a mother, it's MY responsibility to watch him at all times. your neighbor is irresponsible, and a jerk. maybe if you foster all the dogs mentioned above, they'll move. ;)

:laughing::laughing: foster a couple at a time.

This neighbour is expecting you to accommodate her on your property. I would simiply ask her not to tresspass. I wouldn't be able to be civil to this woman, she is extremely arrogant. I don't understand if she is so scared for her child, why she doesn't fence?

Unfortunately in our society, the dog is always at fault, not the parents so it is up to you to do what it takes to protect your dog.

lol, i have an idea, print off this thread and show her what we all think of how rude and doggie ignorant she is. Not to mention where did she learn her manners from.

I think you should put up the deer fence/winter fence and put up signs that say " NO DUMB B****** THAT THINKS MY DOG IS AGGRESIVE AND VISCOUS WHEN SHES NOT ,AND IS TO IRRESPONSIBLE TO WATCH HER OWN CHILD ALLOWED ON MY PROPERTY" I think THAT WOUld get the message across;)



OR you could just put up a "NO TRESSPASSING" Sign up on "Her side of the fence"

I would also put up NO TRESPASSING signs!!!! I have an awesome sign it says, "Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!" LOL put up the fencing and move on with your life, if you have to get some electric horse fencing as well to keep her away!!! She has some issues to say the least.... I hate crappy neighbors, best thing to do is document and ignore her.

if it were me?

id tell the lady to :censored: off and get the :censored: off my property.


but thats just me...im an :angel: of a young man, i swear

if it were me?

id tell the lady to :censored: off and get the :censored: off my property.


but thats just me...im an :angel: of a young man, i swear

Oh yes:rolleyes: No young man is an angel:evil: lol


I too would tell her to :censored: off. You have to stop tyrying to accomedate(sp?) her, otherwise she is never going to stop until your dog is gone from YOUR property. Id call the authorities and make a complaint about her and her child wandering into YOUR yard. Then Try to explain what she is doing and saying to you so if she EVER calls on you, they already have your side of the story!

Who would give a list of unacceptable dogs to a neighbour they barely knew? This woman is either delightfully eccentric or has a bordeline personality disorder. You need to push back firmly and consistently, including telling her that unless she supervises her baby, you cannot ensure his safety on your property. If you're worried about any of this, ask the police, you don't have to identify yourself.
And make sure your insurance is up to date.
I think the fence is an excellent opener.

I was thinking electric too, but it would be too bad for the baby to get shocked because his mom's an idiot. Maybe string up some white rope that looks like the electric rope fencing and get the warning signs that clip onto it. They usually just say something like WARNING! Electric Fence. She won't know that it's not electrified and she won't want the baby hurt right? Just don't ever let her see you touch it and find out that it's not really electric.

The plastic fencing is also available in green and black as well as orange, if you don't want to look at bright orange fencing. Some of them are made a little differently, I know I priced some out one time and some of the orange stuff was about $50/roll but the green was only $25

Do you have any other neighbours with small children? You should totally invite them over for a playdate IN THE YARD. Love the doggie playdate idea too. Get all the breeds that she hates:evil:

On our street, the family with the big dogs have three children(two small children and one teen) so we are pretty sure that it's fine for the dogs to play with any other children.

OMG, this thread has unleashed all the evil sides of the pets.ca members:laughing:

That lady is a classic example of why I prefer dogs to humans!
I'm way less patient than you are - I'd have given her a list of humans I hate and whiners would be on top.
I agree with the other posters, you've done more than enough to accomodate her and she has done nothing for herself.
Stay outside, enjoy your yard, ignore her as much as possible, take pictures every time that kid enters your yard.

Oh yes:rolleyes: No young man is an angel:evil: lol


I too would tell her to :censored: off. You have to stop tyrying to accomedate(sp?) her, otherwise she is never going to stop until your dog is gone from YOUR property. Id call the authorities and make a complaint about her and her child wandering into YOUR yard. Then Try to explain what she is doing and saying to you so if she EVER calls on you, they already have your side of the story!



I totally agree with babymomma, you should make the call to the police before she does. If she can't keep an eye on her wandering child, the child could end up in the street. Then ask them about if maybe you should give her a letter stating that you do not want them "tresspassing" on your property, and ask them to put a copy in their files for future reference.

Do you live in a home owner's association or does your development have a board you could go to about this?

I sympathize with what you're going through. I've had trouble too with my 2 dogs "scaring" a lady who was walking in the back alley because they barked. They were behind a fence, totally friendly, but bark when strangers walk down the alley. The family immigrated from another country that doesn't see dogs as part of the family.

It would be so satisfying if you get back at her but really that would probably cause more problems, and if reported, the family with a child will win and you will lose. Unfortunately, that is just the way it would go. Not fair, I know. I think no matter how hard it is, you need to make peace with her. Can you suggest that she pay for half the fencing since it would be in her child's best interest? (Do it in person and also in a letter and keep a copy.) Maybe exchange phone numbers so she doesn't have to come on your property, ever. I would also point out that her child needs to be taught simple facts about how to and how not to approach a dog (not just yours), and that your dog and her child could form a wonderful bond. Your dog could actually help protect the child, if the two were introduced in a non-threatening way.

Anyway, back to the story of my barking dogs .... It's 8 years since I moved into my house and 5 years since the barking incident. The lady scowled at me for many of the 8 years. It took her grandson making friends with me (riding his bike in the alley) and meeting my dogs. He always smiles and waves and now she does too. The dogs are not an issue any more.

just be careful in this situation with the beware of dogs signs. Theyre fine as ameasure to keep people away, however if you ever goto court for some reason, they will rule that the signs prove you were acknowledging you have a vicious dog

yup i would be more inclined to put up " No Trespassing" signs,i would also send the letter suggesting you two go halves on the fence, but i would put in the letter " due to your fear of dogs, and your childs wandering onto my property" in the letter just to get it out there in writing for your protection.

just be careful in this situation with the beware of dogs signs. Theyre fine as ameasure to keep people away, however if you ever goto court for some reason, they will rule that the signs prove you were acknowledging you have a vicious dog

That would depend on the bylaws of each individual municipality. Here, you must post a sign if you own dogs (Beware of Dog doesn't necessarily mean it's aggressive). Not doing so is an infraction. Otherwise it's looked upon as if the owners are negligent in warning others that a dog is on site.

You can go to your city hall and ask for a written copy of the rules pertaining to companion animals if you want to be sure, dogcatharmony.

Last year I had a problem with my neighbour across the street, he was trespassing, possibly peeping, he is the busy body of the block with questionable motives........Zoe rounded him up one afternoon when he was wandering through my yard (trespassing.....as the police told him and I could press charges if I wanted). She didnt' bite him, lots of loud barks and was doing circles around him like she was herding sheep, I was up on a ladder painting my garage.The officers told me to get a "dog on premises" sign therefore I was not saying my dog had any behaviours to beware of. I ended up making a hand made sign because I could not find a premises sign anywhere.

I do know from back then, the officers told me that I was doing right...my dog is licsened with the city, vaccinated and tied up in my own yard. I did some by-law reading and that is why I shortened the lead outside, because according to our by-laws even if a dog is tied up, if any part of the dog is in someone elses property it is considered a dog at large and would be subject to fines and penalties for a loose dog. So she can't even put her nose near the property line.

I really just don't trust her. Zoe hasn't given her any idea to think she may be vicious and in a way I think that is why the neighbour presses her luck with coming into my yard. I feel that she is looking for a reason to justify what she believes. If Zoe so much as curled a lip........it would be SEE, I KNEW SHE WAS BAD.

I was talking with my mother about the whole situation and she said well when you bring a child into it, it's different. A child is a human being, your dog is well your dog. Apparently I don't know how hard it is to be a mom and control a child. :confused:I am surrounded by ignorance over here.

As for seeing Zoe with kids, I don't have any kids really around me. The one boy that lives two doors asks to pet Zoe whenever he sees us out on a walk. I asked him to ask his parents first if it is ok, then talked with him about how to pet her properly. The one day my neighbour saw us on the sidewalk and asked the little boy not to pet her because you never know what could happen. He said "My dad says it's okay and she's a good dog" and off he went. His parents have already talked with me about how questionable our new neighbours are. They have different issues between them over noise and property lines and a few other stupid things.

It's like I live beside royalty.......I just didn't get the advanced notice.

I had to deal with a neighbor like that once too, I had a german shepard (who was a total nut case I admit) She tried to kill our dog 3 time, we ended up finding enough proof to send her in court ;) and some jailtime, woot.
but it took a lot of geeky camera work .

okay....i took a few pics to give you a better idea. There is this stupid hill and the property line is just about on top of the hill. Many many years ago when they added a basement the fill was used to create this silly bump......it just causes problems now.....baby can get some good speed going downhill.

Yellow line is property line, red arrow is dog.

And don't laugh at my ORANGE house:D.....maybe orange snow fence would blend in.:eek:

I do know from back then, the officers told me that I was doing right...my dog is licsened with the city, vaccinated and tied up in my own yard.
It's like I live beside royalty.......I just didn't get the advanced notice.

I would recommend thatyou get informed with the police about this. We had a problem with abusive landlord, that kept threatening to do this, to do that, but when he threatened us with "taking care" of my dog - I hit the roof. We got informed with our local police station, they told us that until an "event takes place" they can't really do nothing, as it is a case of "he said, she said", basically my word against his and since I don't have any proof... well, you know...:wall:
What he did tell me to do is write a journal, making carefully what exactly was said, on what date and time, what circumstances etc... This way, if I was EVER going to press charges and go to court, they would listen to my case far more seriously, as I would have some kind of collection of facts that took place, not just some random complaints. So the idea of taking notes and pics is great one and will serve you well, you never know. Hopefully, you will never have to use it, but if you do - you will be happy that you have it. :cool:

As far as to keep a relationship with her - you don't have to. She sounds like a miserable person and I don't see what you would be benefiting from being on good terms with her anyway. She hates dogs, thats obvious, and she will probably make your life hell anyway. I would put that fence up and the "keep out" signs, that cannot hurt. Its worth much more than $$ as it will give you peace of mind. :thumbs up
Another suggestion: whatever you decide to tell her, in polite or not so polite ways, please consider writing her an official letter, warning her off your property and disclaiming that you are NOT going to be held responsible if she or her child trespasses. And I would send her that letter registered! This way, you have proof that you have asked her not to come on your property and to keep her child away. I can help you with writing that official letter if you want, just PM me. :thumbs up :goodvibes:

I am a mother with a kindergartner and a toddler. If there was a dog next door to me that I was truly worried would hurt my child, especially the little one, I would never put them at risk by taking them into that dog's yard and letting them wander around, unwatched. It sounds to me like this woman either isn't really that concerned about Zoe, or she's hoping something will happen to her child so she can cause problems for you. I hope it's the first, because the second is just sick to think about. I don't know if it's gone beyond any chance of redemption, but if you could invite her over to your home for coffee, and officially introduce her to Zoe in a relaxed way, and show her how good Zoe is, that could help.
If its too late and there's no chance of that happening, I recommend putting the fence up as soon as possible. If something did happen to her child, you and Zoe would be considered at fault, unfair as it is. If I were you, I would do everything everything possible to protect myself and my pet.

I am a mother with a kindergartner and a toddler. If there was a dog next door to me that I was truly worried would hurt my child, especially the little one, I would never put them at risk by taking them into that dog's yard and letting them wander around, unwatched. It sounds to me like this woman either isn't really that concerned about Zoe, or she's hoping something will happen to her child so she can cause problems for you. I hope it's the first, because the second is just sick to think about. I don't know if it's gone beyond any chance of redemption, but if you could invite her over to your home for coffee, and officially introduce her to Zoe in a relaxed way, and show her how good Zoe is, that could help.
If its too late and there's no chance of that happening, I recommend putting the fence up as soon as possible. If something did happen to her child, you and Zoe would be considered at fault, unfair as it is. If I were you, I would do everything everything possible to protect myself and my pet.

I agree with it, you should invest that $$ in a fence. Maybe not all that pretty, but somewhat peace of mind nonetheless, and it shows that you were the responsible one.
:sorry: that you have to deal with this, but better take care of it now, than deal with fines and such later.

You can't keep them happy, all you'll end up doing is confusing your dog. She's being a terribly irresponsible parent letting her child wander around your yard. Perhaps you should take your dog over to her yard, bang on the door, and give her your list of concerns:

1. she keeps coming in your yard
2. she gives you a list of dogs she hates which implies she's going to hurt your dog
3. she puts her child down in front of your dog and then snatches it away, a good test of your dog's prey drive
4. :lightbulb: you'd like her to pay for half the fence!

She sounds like a control freak (controlling others not herself or her kid). Whats that saying "Good Fences Make Good Neighbours. You might not be able to afford a proper fence but you cannot not afford to put something up to limit this witch's invasions.

oh one little thought, if this chic is as big a loon as she appears to be, you might want to move zoe's little pool until you can put up a fence. Don't want the trespassing little one to drown.

Honestly, I think your best bet is to put up some sort of fencing even if it the snow fence type. Deer fencing is a bit nicer but of course a bit more expensive. You can buy steel posts and then attach the fencing to it. I don't think you will have to dig holes for the posts, just bang them into the ground and then attach the fence.

If push comes to shove with this lady, you will lose because children take precedence over dogs. She sounds like trouble.:loser:

Oh yes:rolleyes: No young man is an angel:evil: lol


I too would tell her to :censored: off. You have to stop tyrying to accomedate(sp?) her, otherwise she is never going to stop until your dog is gone from YOUR property. Id call the authorities and make a complaint about her and her child wandering into YOUR yard. Then Try to explain what she is doing and saying to you so if she EVER calls on you, they already have your side of the story!


thats not a very nice thing to say about young men..

i am an :angel: through and through

She sounds like a control freak (controlling others not herself or her kid). Whats that saying "Good Fences Make Good Neighbours. You might not be able to afford a proper fence but you cannot not afford to put something up to limit this witch's invasions.
Totally agree here my neighbors are jerks too. We put our fence up for the same reasons. When we moved in 8 years ago we only had Lady our border collie:rip: and her kids would come into our yard and pester Lady as she was chained and wanted to play ,but they would stay just out of her reach and throw stuff at her.:frustrated: We kindly told the kids and parents Lady was a good dog and doing stuff like that scared her and confused her their response was they are just boys. That weekend the fence went up and they had the nerve to say "I hope this fence looks better then the one he put up." pointing to the other side of their yard. Now when we have friends over they send the kids out to kick balls against the fence :frustrated: these are not little ones 14, 16 the other two are now gone. Hope you have better luck.
Put the fence up and protect your Zoe and give you piece of mind.

The square rabbit fencing is cheap and easy to do, we did it with rebar that we buried in two feet down to make it stable on a 1 acre lot that we lived on as we had kids next door that would tease our dogs, even after talking to the parents it made no difference so up the fence went and it cost next to nothing and was well worth it.

What about a temporary fence, like metal posts and snow fencing, you can buy some brown stuff now so it doesn't look so bad. You would still have to keep your dog tied up but it would keep the rug rat out and set some boundaries for them to stay on their own side.

they can also get over it. i wouldnt let a new neighbor drive me out of my home. im just stubborn like that.

-ash


:thumbs up

exactly what i would do

if they dont like your nice sounding(:)) playful dog, its their own problem. and i agree, if she is a careful mother and wants her child to be safe, then thats okay, but when her child is coming into your dogs space, it is no way your fault. don't back down!! she is so rude:frustrated:

ignore stupid people like that, and unless she starts doing really wierd stuff like calling animal patrol or something just because of her silliness, don't worry about it. you and you dog should have as much fun and make as much noise as you like!! hey, i bet her son isn't as quiet as a mouse either:)

soter

Why was she rattling your door and then complaining about your dog??? It sounds as though she is phobic about dogs in general. she should stay away and teach her child to stay on their property. This takes diligence if the child is young but no more than diligence than what you're providing. She expects you to keep live your life around hers it seems.

She's depending on YOU to keep her baby safe from your <dripping with sarcasm here> "big vicious monster". :rolleyes:

The problem is that she won't take the time to learn how to be around dogs safely and one of these times she's going to panic because the the baby wants to touch the dog or something and then she's going to lunge at Zoe or whatever. It doesn't sound as if Zoe would ever hurt a flea but who knows what would happen if this woman makes her feel threatened. Or if she winds up grabbing the child and scratching him herself---you know she would blame that on Zoe.

I would beg borrow or steal to get a fence of any sort put up. Fences make good neighbors. And I would explain it "oh so sweetly" . Say that "Everyone who knows Zoe knows what a gentle dog she is and how much she likes children. I think that in time you'll be pleased to find out that she'll even be protective of your child. But you seem to be so uncomfortable and that's no way to live so I thought it might make you feel better if we put up a fence until you get to know Zoe better and feel more comfortable."

Act as though you're doing her a favor and then try to have as little contact as possible.

Any news?? :confused:

Could you get a restraining order for something like this?

Honestly, I'd tell her to shove it. I wouldn't even waste my time trying to be nice. People like this are ridiculous. I have some neighbors who hate cats. And everyone knows I'm cuckoo about kitties. My one neighbor right next to me (townhouses) comes out and yells at me about how she is either allergic or afraid of cats (it changes from time to time) and blah blah blah. One time I found some kittens wandering in my yard and they slipped under the fence into her yard, and she had the nerve to accuse me of 'putting kittens in her yard' on purpose. In reality, I was rounding the littler critters up to find them new homes.


Your neighbor is insane. I agree with whoever said to start fostering all the kinds of dogs she had on her list. You can do whatever you like on your own property and she has no right to tell you what to do when you take good care of your doggy.

If I could I'd help you out by slapping some sense into her... I'm still a minor for another 15 months :laughing:

Anyways good luck. I was lucky enough to have my grandmom and my best friend live on either side of me when I had my two rotties at my old house.

nice.

slap that :censored: in the mouth!

I am off to mail a register letter this morning. Thank you for your help JennieV (oh and I sent you an email, but silly me I can't remember if I hit the send button or if I just closed the window without sending it).

I have started writing everything down. Weird how when you list all the interactions you just can't believe that it took this long to finally say "WTH is wrong with this ???" How did I manage to get along this far??

I am going to look at possible fencing this weekend.

Let's just hope that she can see my point and that it takes both of us to provide a safe area for the dog and child. It's not 100% my job to control the whole situation. In a way it does make me a little mad that because I own the dog that my % is expected to be higher. IMO a small child can be as "unpredictable" also, maybe more so because I know I can tell what my dog's body language is saying. I just hope she takes the letter the right way.

Thankyou all for your advice and help. And thanks again JennieV....that letter draft was Awesome!!!!:thumbs up

I am very happy to help, I hope things work out. I got your email too...LOL..:thumbs up
I know it can be hard, since she is your neighbour and you have to live with her side by side, but trust me, the more you cover your own behind - the better.
Sending my :goodvibes: and :fingerscr:fingerscr that everything will go ok.
If you want, you could tell her that you sent her a letter, and explain in short why, just like you did here, that you feel unsafe and stressed and express hope that she will understand your point of view. Don't go into too many details, thats why there's the letter.
At least, that way she won't be taken by surprise and won't be TOO bitter about it. Hopefully. But if she is -blow it off, she is a :loser: anyway.
Take care and keep us posted!!! :thumbs up

If you need a lawyer, I know a good lawyer in Sault St. Marie, dont' know if that's near you though.

dogcatharmony, I just read this thread now and I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. :grouphug: You certainly have a real :loser: for a neighbour :frustrated: and a lot more patience than I would have had. :o

The registered letter sounds like a great idea....I hope it works and she comes to her senses. :fingerscr It's very frustrating to have jerks for neighbours and I hope she isn't too bullheaded and become more of a beotch. :eek:

Good luck and keep us posted. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

Just a thought. You said your shared side of the yard is about 150 ft. Could you maybe do a partial fence? Like the first 50 ft or so? If the child is really young he probably wouldn't go that far without his control freak momma going after him.
Also, sounds to me like this very thread is a good form of evidence. You didn't come on looking to bash her. You came on looking for solutions to your problems. So....print it out. You never know. Just my :2cents:

Also, sounds to me like this very thread is a good form of evidence. You didn't come on looking to bash her. You came on looking for solutions to your problems. So....print it out. You never know. Just my :2cents:


Excellent idea. :thumbs up

Yes I could print it off and add it with my journal.....only thing I am a computer loser and I have no idea how to print something off the internet. Would I have to print it post by post......like when I left click my mouse it gives me an option to print. Do I use that??


Oh and 14+.......I did consider putting up a partial fence. I got thinking that if I only did a bit then you know that the mother would be letting the kid run around in the yard and her guard may be down because part of a fence was up. It could be possible for him to out run if he was already near the fence and thought to be safe....you know what I mean?? Plus he is only going to get faster.

And another thing I was thinking that putting up only a partial fence could mean more surprise if she decided to come into my yard. Right now we can see her coming. If she just decided to pop around the fence.....I would be worried how Zoe would react. Not saying anything would happen, I know Zoe can smell them first...but sometimes she can get busy inspecting something a little to close and even I can startle her. She acts like an embarrased goof-ball when you get her off guard.......but I need to be totally safe. I don't think a partial fence would give me the level of safeness I need with her.

At least that is what I think.

Oh, when I said partial fence I thought you were still going with the deer fence idea. Just wire to keep the child and Zoe apart but you can still see through it. More attractive than snow fence although snow fence you could still see through as well. I thought put up part now, the next part when you could afford it, the next part when you could afford it. I wasn't thinking a wooden fence. That would be too costly for you right now you said. :shrug:

As for printing... you should be able to just right click and hit print. If that doesn't work you could highlight each page and print out a page at a time. You could also try hitting the print icon at the top of your browser.

I would also use the wire fence. I think it's called field and farm fencing. We got ours at Home Hardware Building Centre and Timbrmart......it comes in big rolls and is pretty sturdy.

oops my mistake 14+.......I was thinking wooden fence. I tossed around the idea of putting a wooden fence up section by section, so that was already on my mind. If I go with the deer fencing I am doing the whole side, I can move the fencing over to the back of my yard later........which is really a plus for me because I would love a totally fenced yard......its just so big of a yard that totally fencing it in with wood, would be a small fortune. If i could get it all fenced......well then the day that happens Zoe gets a buddy and they can run around like furry freaks all day long.

The deer fence idea really was handy because on my other neighbour's side we have 270 feet of cedar hedge (I have a L-shaped yard, long on one side, really really long on the other)......I didn't know what I could put up against the cedars.....deer fencing looks perfect:thumbs up

No problem. I can be confusing at times. :rolleyes:
When you get the playmate for Zoe it's gonna be a doberman, shephard, boxer, rottweiler, pit bull, dane and husky mix, right? :D

Hi Dogcatharmoney,
Is there an update on your neighbour after getting your letter?

I think they have gone away on a vacation......there has been no one around since the weekend. I was just coming on to ask what happens with my letter now?? I know they have to sign to get it......if no one is home to pick it up what happens??? Does it get sent back to me??

Fine time to go on holidays!!!! At least Zoe has been having fun relaxing outside. She was sunbathing all morning, just sprawled right out on the back stairs. It sure is a welcomed break from the stress though. I even managed to get a few rays myself without being on full watch.

And yes 14+, when I get a friend for Zoe it is going to be the muttiest mutt possible of all the "bad" dogs:D

Well geezz, did she ask your permission to go on holidays? She seems to always want to put her two cents worth (and it's not) in on your business. :rolleyes:
I can't answer the question about registered mail cause I'm not sure. I would think they would keep trying for a while and then send it back to you. :shrug:
Did you have any luck with the fence? What a perfect time to put one up, while they are gone.

Good Luck! And I am glad you are considering the brattiest dog you can find. :D

:laughing: you were thinking the same thing I was 14+. It had to be Sunday night and I was peeking outside thinking "were the heck are they???".....I find it funny that I didn't get a list of approved things to do while they are gone. I actually thought....well how rude to just leave and not let me know.

I did look around for fencing with no luck. Lots of wooden fence packages, rolls of galvanized steel fencing. I asked at one of stores about deer fencing, and they showed me a net-like thing. Almost looked like fishing net material. Mind you I didn't travel far from home, I broke my elbow back in June and have just started rehab so it hurts like heck to drive. So I checked out the three hardware stores right near me. I have plans to get up to the big retail stores this weekend .........hopefully my neighbours are on a two week vacation. It would be nice to pop up a fence without them around. I have the man-power, the people who live on the other side of the nasty neighbours have offered their services as long as I supply the beer. Now why can't they be MY next door neighbours?????

My god, you are doing everything you can possibly do to make your neighbor's comfortable; they should be thankful. I honestly don't know what else you can do to make it better. I guess my suggestion would be to sit down and talk with your neighbor without dogs or kids involved (so not when a "situation" is taking place). Maybe you can point out to your neighbor all you have done to make them feel good about Zoe, and also point out that you are totally on top of monitoring your dog and that you are doing so on your own property. I think that talking with them at least REMINDS them of all you are doing, and hopefully remind THEM that they need to make changes, TOO. I have a newborn son and a 110 lb dog and EVERYONE, dog, baby, parents need to make adjustments...not just dog.

Good luck.

YDM

Mmmmmm, maybe whilst the newbies are gone you and their other side neighbours can get together and trade houses. As in they move into hers and move all of her stuff to their place. :D Then they could deal with her? NAH! Wouldn't work! But you can dream.
Good luck on finding some fencing. It's too bad chicken wire didn't come in higher sizes. You can get rolls 50 feet long but they are only 4 feet high. Not high enough!

Well here's an update..........:wall:

I take it that my neighbour received her letter. I was out in the front yard cleaning up garbage and she walked halfway in her yard with her kid on a leash and yelled "you happy NOW???" and stomped back up her driveway into the house.

Apparently me asking for BOTH of us to work on keeping the entire situation safe was taken the wrong way. I never asked her to leash her kid, although in my mind I do believe that it is the best for the child's safety, Mom now has full control and is only a few steps behind instead of sprinting after a toddling child.

So I was thinking ok...so she is mad....oh well, been there done that. I go out back to put Zoe out for a pee and she has moved all the lawnchairs and patio table right to the property line and the kid's pool too!!! I could dip my toes in the pool from my back deck:shrug:

So far the fence is still a no go.......I need to find someone with a post hole digger as my entire back yard is clay and the only place that rents one costs an arm and a leg to use.

My only hope is to pray for an early winter and start building snowbanks....then by spring a fence would be paid for and put up quickly because I am not putting up with another summer like this one.

:laughing::laughing: sorry but the visual of the kid on a leash just amuses me to no end. This woman is not only controling, but childish too. Her moving all the childs stuff right next to your property just shows that. LOL, we have a small garbage can lined with a garbage bag that we put all our poop in until garbage day. I would so move it right next to where her kids stuff is, guaranteed she moves the stuff quickly. Seriously now, she chose to react childishly. At this point i would totally ignore her. If she is outside, don't acknowledge her. If she speaks to you respond politely and move on.

oh and as for the fence, an easier way for you to do it if you are putting in 4x4 wooden posts, just buy the 4' metal spikes, then you just need a hunk of 4x4 and a sledge hammer. No digging involved and they are pretty much as stable as sinking the posts especially if your going into clay.

Why is a woman, who is so concerned about her child's safety, placing her child's play things so close to your property line???? Get pictures if you can. Why isn't she asking for a fence to protect her child? Sounds like she just wants to control you and her concerns over her daughter's safety is just her way of trying to do so.

Aslan.......you would totally die laughing if you saw the leash. It has a stuffed monkey that wraps it's arms around the body and the tail is the leash.

As for the poop bucket idea...well my backdoor is right there next to where all the stuff is.......I would stink myself out also. And then flies would get in the house and Zoe would have a heart attack.....silly bean is terrified of flies.

I don't know what her logic is on moving the stuff close to my house.....I do agree it is very very childish. I have a hard time with stupid people, I hate to have to use the word stupid, but this what I see with this last stunt. There was nothing rude in the letter I sent. It was very polite and to the point. I guess she feels that I am making her totally responsible......well how does it feel, I have been the only one trying all summer long. I am not going to stop with my part, no way....I am not risking my dog over foolishness.

I have a feeling that I am going to have to get totally blunt with her. No more trying to be polite and accomodating. I don't know ......this is just frustrating.

And Love4himies......I already have the fence posts, my mother got me a load of cedar posts but told me I was on my own for digging holes and wished me luck.

how long are the posts your mom gave you like 6' 8'? are they 4x4's. The spikes i'm talking about go 4' into the ground so it's like digging without the work. My whole yard is fenced in with them. These are what i'm talking about, they're about $7. each at home depot.

If you haven't already, might be about time to get some orange spray paint and mark the property line. If it were me, I'd just go to a cheapo store and buy some 2 dollar dinky garden fence and use that.

I love the garden fencing idea myself - make it the kind with the spikes on top of it though!

I think that you have went above and beyond being nice here - I like the idea of the poop can next to the kids pool, what about moving it just down the side of your house so that the lovely aroma isn't lost to the neighbors, but Zoe doesn't have to be confronted with flies??? I think I'd also "trip" while taking loads to that can - the kids pool would make a nice dropping point I would think. :angel:

Wow, your neighbor totally needs some hobbies other than making it her personal mission to p*ss you off!

:grouphug: So sorry you're her neighbor. She sounds like that type of person who would find a way to make trouble no matter who (canine, human, otherwise) was next to her.

Some people just need DRAMA!

I smile big and wave happily at our local crazy person in our townhouse complex. :evil: Her face puckers up and she scowls every time I do it. Her reaction makes me remember that she's not at all interested in having peace and that there's absolutely nothing I can do to make that wench happy.

Wow dogcatharmony!! I have been following this thread but hadn't had a chance to respond...I am absolutely dying at the idea of a fuzzy monkey leash on that kid!! :laughing:

While I know that isn't what you meant for her to do...take comfort in knowing that now she is being bothered and inconvenienced instead of you for a change!!

Alas, the summer is practically over and hopefully by the next summer you will be able to put your fence up, or even better yet, maybe they'll MOVE!!

such a shame about the little one getting such a negative experience with dogs..she will grow up with that fear, which is so unfair and unecessary.

Zoe sounds like such a sweet girl, I'm glad at least one parent in this equation is doing things right.

It is crazy how these parents don't watch their kids around dogs..then if the dog ends up biting because the kid is tugging its ears or something the dog can get put down!

I work with a rescue group and we do 'adoption shows' all the time, at a public pet store. You stand and handle a dog..sometimes it was my own foster, other times I'd just met the dog that morning. Regardless, I have to be on watch non-stop because kids will just run up on the dog, or walk past it with a treat in their hands, or approach them with their palm down...etc. Parents nowhere to be found! I do my best if I can get the kid's attention to try to spend a minute or two explaining the proper way to approach a dog..I hope they listened!

Best of luck to you! I wish I could mail you a fence!! :grouphug:

dogcatharmony, I just read the update you posted, wow, ignorance has no boundaries, eh? Some people just have closed minds and they will never open them, no matter how hard you try. By her moving their patio furniture and child's pool over to the property line, she has just further put her child at risk, as obviously he/she will unknowingly be zooming over that line. It's so sad when the kids and the pets take the brunt of someone's stupidity. As a mother, it's HER duty to keep her child safe. I bet the people in her former neighbourhood are all ecstatic that she moved!

I could make you the perfect sign, hon, to hang on your property. It says:

"Nevermind the dog, beware of the owner!" (and has a picture of a six-shooter).

ROFL, let her complain about that! That outta fix her wagon.

When she makes a comment about that, say to her "when you're ready to stop acting like an idiot, come on over for coffee and we'll talk".

Best of luck. And I'm with the others, you shouldn't have to change your lifestyle just because she's moved in next door. Get your fence up when you can in order to keep her kid out of your yard.

Protect your a**. Document, document, document. I am assuming you kept a copy of the letter you sent? Also, lots of pics. Especially of the pool, etc moved right next to the fence. This woman is a total :loser: and won't be happy until she has caused as much ***** as she can. And I am afraid that Zoe will be the innocent victim here. :sad: There is no word strong enough to describe her.

Thanks for all the support and advice. I sure wish I could just sit down and have a rational conversation with her. To say how it is for me and that yes I do think about keeping her child safe but I do really think about keeping my dog safe. I am not one of these people who would think, hmmmm for the safety of a small child I should get rid of my dog. I know they looked at the house numerous times in the winter, and there was no way they couldn't have not seen Zoe outside in the winter.....she practacally lives outside in the winter (I need to drag her inside)

And in all reality, wouldn't she look like a fool purposely moving stuff to be closer to the dog when I have done all I can to limit my dogs movement in her own yard??? I am seriously thinking about just talking the police and showing them my journal and pics. I am just so afraid of getting that attitude that a human is more important.

I also wonder if my neighbour thinks that just because I have a dog run in my yard that my dog should be confined to it. I was seriously thinking about digging the dog run up and using it to fence the one side, this dog run was here when I bought the place. I use it when Zoe has her furry friends over just so they can play leash free. Other than that I don't use it because I have a huge yard and don't feel right having her locked up inside a box.

No one was outside at all this evening so I am thinking the patio and pool was moved just to get me riled up. Usually they are outside until the sun goes down but the backyard was empty basically all day today and they are home and it was a very hot day today.

And thanks Aslan for the pic of those post thingys, all the cedar posts I have are ranging in length from 6 to 8 feet. I will have to take a look for those other posts....you said they are good for clay??? They don't shake loose when the soild is really dry and cracked?

And LMBO kandy at the poop pool dunk. I don't even think the poop bucket idea would work, we have a by-law here that if your neighbours complain about smelling poop from a yard that has a dog the city can give you a 1000.00 dollar fine. She seems like the kind of person that would make the phone call and report it.

I also got depressed about some other info I found out. Now I don't know if it is true or not, but I asked a question about fences and I was told that if my neighbours didn't like the fence (if it wasn't astetically pleasing to them) that they could have me remove it. Basically if they didn't like it they could yap and complain and then back to no fence for me. I need to do some reading of our city's laws and such regarding this, maybe make a phone call to city hall. Have any of you heard such a thing??

well my fence is also in clay and we haven't had a problem with it. The spikes go down 4' so that is the frost line, then you put the 4x4 in the top of the spike and tighten the bolts.

I think the fence would have to encroach on her property and be in pretty crappy shape in order for her to have the town ask you to remove it. :shrug: I guess every town is different as far as laws go but there would be an awful lot of ticked off neighbours if that were the case.
I agree with contacting the police. They may not be able to do anything about it yet BUT if you have them on notice that this lady has been bothering you for quite some time then if something does happen, God forbid, they will hopefully be on your side.

I am adding something to the old saying "Fences make good neighbours". HIGH fences make good neighbours!! :D

:grouphug: to you and Zoe hon for all you have had to put up with!!

OMG, OMG, OMG.........she just scared me huge. I have the back door open with the screen door shut and Zoe went bonkers at the back door, so I am thinking skunk/raccoon, so I grab my spotlight to check the backyard....and I shine the light out to the back and then sweep side to side and the woman is sitting out there in the pitch dark......OMG. Apparently she is moving her stuff back to her deck, only one lawn chair was there with her in it.:eek:

hmmm i'm thinking this woman has a screw loose. Does she smoke? I'd watch for her peeing on the property line or something trying to mark her territory.

yeah, this is the point where i would take legal action/inquire to at least start the legal trail in case she freaks and decides to take legal action. if only just to have it on record somewhere.... the lawyer will be able to make record of each of your documents and such so there is a legit source out there helping you document.

-ash

you might want to consider a restraining order. The others are right, documents, photo's anything you can get.

dogcatharmony, I am sorry that your saga is so far from being over. I guess this woman is a bigger :loser: (for the lack of harsher smileys) than I thought.
She is one of these unpredictable, crazy persons and I think that at this point you should go to the police. Make sure that you take your letter with you, and as many photos as you can of stuff that you have documented. Basically, just bring the whole thing with you.

You are going to need nerves of steel, because she is a loonie and will do things that you will not expect or understand. :shrug: she is childish and absurd and she will continue to make your life miserable, UNFORTUNATELY. :frustrated:

At this point my personal advise would be:
1. go to the police and get informed/tell your story
2. take lots of pics and don't worry about her questioning you or if it would bother her...just take the pictures :cool:
3. ignore, ignore, ignore her! stay away, stay non-confrontational, at least for now. :frustrated: It will probably get worse before it gets better, but I hope that things will work out.

You could potentially try to go over to her place or invite hers to yours and try to explain what you trying to achieve with sending that letter and that you want to put a fence up...
How about her spouse? Is he involved in this in any way?? If you cant talk to her, maybe you could approach him? Who knows, she may have been telling him about this crazy dog-lady next door that sends her letters and acts weird..? :shrug: Maybe if you tried...I dont know. I just feel for you. :grouphug:

Oh good Lord! This woman definately, no bones about it, is a genuine nutcase and deliberate trouble-maker. I agree, pay a visit to the local police and give them a head's up before she starts phoning them on a regular basis. This whole thing is nothing but a ticking time bomb just looking for a time to go off.

She IS endangering her child and she's going to provoke your beautiful dog into something that will not end well.... for your dog OR her child. I bet her husband told her to go out and move the patio furniture and the pool. You should ask him sometime soon if he has a leash for his wife and let him know he needs to employ it more often. (but hey, that's just me :laughing: ). I'll tell you sometime about the one neighbor I have and all the crap I went thru when she moved in.... oiy. And then she got puppies (yes plural) and what happened. Some people should really have to take a test before they buy property. :yell:

And keep documenting, as 14+ said. Document, document, document. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you! Keep us posted.

God save us from manic neighbours! Ive got kids and i have to admit that it is scary when your baby goes near a dog. All you see is teeth and your imagination runs away with you - you know all it could take is a split second. THEREFORE, you do not allow your child to come into contact with animals in that manner.
You are doing everything right, and she is one of those moms who think now she has a baby that it comes first in everyones life. Her baby is not your worry - its hers. You are doing everything possible to keep your dog on your property.
Its her responsibility to keep her child on her property. End of story.
If she knocks on your door again ignore her, she will eventually give up. Otherwise tell her to make a formal complaint as she has nothing to base her complaint on.
I would also advise you putting something in writing and keep a copy. If the proverbial S&*T hits the fan, you can show that you warned her to keep to her own property, that her child is trespassing, that she is becoming a nuisance, that she is being unreasonable, that you are the one looking for an amiable solution for all parties.
CYA.
Good luck

This has been going on for a while so I can't remember if this has already been mentioned or not (I didn't read back through all the older posts), but you can actually make her pay for part of the fence. Wouldn't that just burn her butt? :evil: We have a local newspaper/magazine that always has a legal column in it (written by a lawyer) and I remember reading one on the topic of fences. Even if both neighbours are not in agreement about putting up a fence, you can have a fence surveyor (or something like that) come and make an assessment and they will decide who is responsible for what portion of the cost. Apparently this is something that will hold up in court if it comes to that. If you were to make the situation known, how critical it is to put up a fence I bet you could make her pay for at least half the cost, maybe more since she's not doing anything else to take responsibility for her own child's safety.

all i can say is ....electric cattle fence.....then run chicken wire fence on your side to protect the dog :rolleyes:

I have found three other people in the neighbourhood who have had dog issues with my lovely neighbours and they said they would willing to add their stories to mine if I needed them.

The one is just weird, this fellow lives three houses down on the opposite side of the street and he has a lab/sheppard mix. The woman has told him that he needs to walk his dog on the other side of the street if she is out in her front yard because she doesn't trust the dog or the owner's capability of controlling his dog!!!!:eek:

The other two are from the backyard neighbours....one had an ignorant discussion with the husband (this guy has 2 dogs, one a retriever mix and the other a Pit bull) and the other one has 2 dauschands (sorry spelling) and a super loveable black mutt, he had it out with the woman over barking. How she hears his dogs barking is beyond me, these back yards are huge first of all and secondly the only time I have heard his dogs bark in the five years I have lived here is when Zoe was running around with one of the daushands in their yard. He was told the same thing I was, that the baby goes to bed at 8 and she doesn;t want to hear barking dogs that could wake the baby:wall:

It's not just me!!!! Do you know what kind of relief I felt hearing other people stories?? I got the idea from a friend of mine I was talking with last night, I was telling her the latest and she said "why not ask around the neighbourhood?" I was a little uncomfy at first but I figured what the heck, all the people around here know me from walking Zoe, it's not like they are total strangers. And it's easy to strike up a conversation about dogs when you own one.....and I hit the jackpot.

Oh and the yard was back to normal this morning. everything was put back were it came from. What a bizarre woman.

Does this nut job have a husband and are his views just as nuts?I would have handed that list back to her and told her to give the list to her shrink.I bet that would be the last time she would have talked to me.Good luck!

well it is very good news to hear that others have had issues with this whackjob. As far as i know, it's not disturbing the peace until 11 oclock so pffffft on her. And isn't it true that you should have some noise while the baby is sleeping so it will learn to tune it out. My mom use to keep our house silent and every little noise wakes me. my sister just functioned as usual, tv blaring etc, my nephew could sleep through a bomb.

I'd get the other neighbours to put in writing and sign what their experiences were with this loon and add it to your stuff. You should get together with these people and the womans husband to fill him in on her antics.

Apparantly the hubby is as whacky as the wife. He is the one who had the talk with the backyard neighbour. I get an eebie-jeebie feeling off him to begin with. I have never seen him talk myself, whenever he sees me he runs away. If we happen to be BBQing at the same time he will go inside and wait till I am done.......he is a quiet kinda spooky fellow.......hard to explain. I just steer clear of him.

:wall:Sell,sell,sell!!!!Or go buy yourself some scary haloween music and play that every time you see him outside!:lightbulb:Take a walk around your premises with chicken bones dangling on a string and chant loudly.:lightbulb:Pretend you have nervous ticks when they are outside and apologise,explaining that these social ticks are harmless but a result of stress and they may get worse!Start a pool with your neighbours to see how quickly they put the house up for sale!
Print up petfinder pics of the dogs on her list and gush about how you may be getting one of them next week!I'll try to think of more if these don't work.:thumbs up

I agree with Rainy! you gotta fight fire with fire. If shes a loony tooney physcopathic B-I Baddword, Well, you can be crazy and beat her at her own game.. I bet if you did do that and they sold, You'd have a great feeling of self Pride... I would love it if i could do that! lol

wise words Aslan!!

dogcatharmony, its great to hear others are having the same issues (well... maybe not cause that means she is a pain in EVERYONES ass!!!) hopefully you guys can come up with a solution of some sort.... a gag or something! i just hate youre going through this. my neighbor was pretty bad but this woman is a real nut job!! there has to be something you can do to get her to stop harassing you. a restraining order??? a little credit from the other neighbors is nice too.

-ashley

Sounds like a pretty bad situation :grouphug:. Have you asked the neighbour if they would consider splitting the costs of installing the fence?

I have been reading all these posts dated back to May and I have to say I know what you're going through. My grandma has lived in her house for 40 years, and about 4 years ago she got a new neighbor. This lady has a little boy, and about a year after they moved in (the first summer they spent here) my grandma was outside with her dog, Bubba. Bubba was a beautiful Weimaraner who, very suddenly passed 3 weeks ago at the age of six. So one day they are outside, my grandma, the neighbor, the kid and the dog. The dog is on his leash tied to my grandmas porch and the neighbor kid wonders over with a sucker in his hand. The neighbor isn't watching her kid, who is waving the sucker around and Bubba saw his chance to take a bite but missed (the kid saw him coming and jerked) nipped the kid in the neck. Lady freaks out, sues my grandma'a insurance company (kid didn't even need 1 stitch btw) and wins $1,200.00 in medical costs and missed work. 3 YEARS LATER they are STILL going at it, and my grandma is CONVINCED the neighbor poisoned Bubba. I bought the house on the other side of the neighbor 2 years ago and tried to make peace, but no dice. I wasn't even involved and the lady called the Realtor who sold me the house and threatened to sue him if he sold it me!! Moral of the story here kiddos is that closed minded folks like that will never change, and after 3 years of lawsuits, police reports,property surveying, fence building and outright feuding it took the suspicious death of her baby to make us realize it's time to get out before it escalates any further. We bought a large house far away and are taking my grandparents with to retire PEACEFULLY. If you get your dog to the point where she has nothing to complain about, she'll just find something else. Once we proved Bubba wasn't a vicious killer she moved on to the truck parked in back too close to her garage, then she called the police because my grandpas oxygen tank was keeping her kid awake (seriously, that was in the police report). After that my brothers work van was too noisy and he left for work too early....the list goes on and on. Unfortunately for us we took for granted Bubba's death was caused by a heart murmur he had, and had him cremated before we thought to have an autopsy to check for other things. Probably better for my grandma this way though, she'd never be able to mourn him properly if she thought she could've prevented it.
So my best advice to you is move before you find something terrible happening to you or your dog because sadly, but realistically, you don't know what people are capable of doing, ever until it's too late. Hope this helps, maybe a small good can come from a heartbreaking loss.:sad:

Im just thinking about her giving you a list of dogs she doesnt like when she moved in. Who do people think they are?
Imagine if you had said when she moved in 'oh, your kid has red hair and freckles - i dont really like kids with freckles they freak me out'.
Sometimes you just gotta laugh (or you'll cry!)
Good luck mate!

I think in this situation you have to protect your butt and be the mature person. I would definitely swap written testimonies with your dog neighbours and have a meeting with animal control and/or police to get their recommendations, follow up with something in writing of their recommendations and then retain a lawyer. If you are forced to sell, I would be suing her for any real estate costs involved.

I do agree with Gail P and ask if they will pay for half the fence, if not sue, you are putting it up for their benefit, not yours.

Why do some people think that everybody should accommodate them :yell:

:grouphug: This can't be easy on you, I often wonder why people like this move into a subdivision if they are not going to be happy. Move out to the country with no close neighbours.

lol, do you think you could imitate the signs of terrets(sp) everytime her or her company are outside go out and garden or something and give them a show. whooping, and swearing, etc.

Ok now really, get the stuff together and speak to the police/lawyer whomever so there is a record long before this bimbo pulls anything. If she starts to cause more serious crap you then have something on record and will be easier to put a restraining order on her. I think the best way to back this woman off is to beat her to the first punch. She sounds like she's used to getting her own way, just by whining and bullying. Just out of curiosity where abouts in ontario are you.

Dogcatharmony,
I feel really bad about you having to deal with it. How about talking to the others and seeing what extent are they willing to go to? Are they willing to do written testimonies?
Its nice to keep a sense of humour in this situation, though sometimes things aren't funny at all. Do you think you guys can all gang up on her and make her life a little less comfortable? Like, have parties, BBQ's with neighbours and the dogs, make the dogs bark from 8pm till about 11pm, so her kid can't sleep and drives her bonkers...LOL...:sad: Its sad that we have to resort to this kind of thinking, because of her ignorance, intolerance and stupidity. :sad:

WOW I thought this would be over for you by now. Your neighbor is not only nuts she is very immature. This can't be good for you or Zoe:sad: I would have to side with every one that has said document and take photos cover your butt ,get the other dog neighbors to join forces and make sure there is police and animal control involvement ,this looks like it's going to get messy:evil: Her and her husband sound like real:loser:and can't be reasoned with. As for a fence if they fight you on that use the kid and their bad parenting as your defense. I wish you the best of luck.:goodvibes:No one should have to go through this.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

I have to say that a couple of them had me cracking right up. I am going to stay on my best behavior because I dont want to give her anything she could use against me in anyway. I have to remember to watch my language, watch how I say things so they don't get percieved as a threat and so on. After the other nights activities I think I may have underestimated my opponent.

The other people that have had problems with her all said that they would be willing to talk to the police. I was also given a name of a police officer that just moved into area, maybe a mile or so away from where I live. He is a big dog lover, and owns two bullies of his own and also has three small children. I was told that he would be the one to talk to because he doesn't believe a dog is just a dog. Amazing how quick word travels between neighbours. Now all I have to do is get up the courage to talk to a total stranger and hope I don't look like a total nut job. Police make me so nervous even when I am doing nothing wrong......i just feel guilty for nothing. So I guess they is some hope even though I am more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don't know if I should call the station and ask for him, or just go to the house and say so and so gave me your name and said I should talk to you.:confused:

Also today I was talking with my mother and she just tore down all her gardens this summer. She has this eight foot long and at least six maybe seven feet high wall thingy that she had vines growing on, it is metal and kinda fence like. She asked if I would like it, she used it as a privacy shield from her neighbours. Of course right now there would be no vines closing it in but she said we could just secure it and then plant the plants so that next year the vines would grow and block them out. I told her I would take it so she is going to try to get it to me this weekend, if not next week. We shall see if it will do anything......keep fingers crossed.

Chaelliegh...thank you for sharing your story. It is so sad that your grandmom's dog passed away. It is so scary to have to deal with a dog hating neighbour.....I never in a million years ever thought it could be this scary.

And Aslan, I live in Sault Ste Marie on the outskirts of the cities west end.

better watch it just showing up at the door like that.... cops know when us civies are terrified of them. like a shark smelling blood or something....



which usually works to my advantage. most of them have felt so bad that im almost in tears and will do just about anything reasonable to make it better. just go ask him when its a good time to contact him to talk about it. going up there with loads of documents and papers will just put him on the spot. :)

just remember, cops like helping good people make peace. its their job you know.

-ash

As I read this thread I get more and more nervous for you. She sounds really stupid but unfortunately stupid people can be dangerous. Have you thought about trying kiiji or craigslist for a second hand fence? I have had good luck with second hand items so it may be worth a try. Freecycle is also a great way to go for fencing (or dear fencing) because sometimes people (especially dog lovers) would rather give that stuff away to someone who needs it rather than sell.

Talking to the police might be best for you and your dogs saftey. Goodluck to you :thumbs up

WOW this woman has some serious issues.:wall:

I would definately take notes as to what's going on.Either call the station or head to the station and talk to someone at the desk.I suggest your neighbours do the same.As for the copper who just moved in,he may not work out of that station.If calling,you can ask for his name to see if he does.

As for going to his home to talk to him,I'd put that off.;)

As for being nervous,don't be,they don't bite...:D

In regards to the restraining order,that doesn't apply to this situation.A restraining order is actually against a spouse(ex or soon to be ex and an abusive one)

You also have what's called a peace bond.But that too wouldn't apply here.

Also,if she were my neighbour,she would have packed up as quick as she moved in.....:D

Good luck.

I have found three other people in the neighbourhood who have had dog issues with my lovely neighbours and they said they would willing to add their stories to mine if I needed them.


I'd get the other neighbours to put in writing and sign what their experiences were with this loon and add it to your stuff.

I agree with aslan...get your stuff all together and present it to a lawyer or the police now, before things get really ugly. Just so they have something in their records about it. Once the trouble really starts, you'll have a harder time fighting it if you're working from square one.

Even if you just take the stuff to the cop in your neighborhood, it would help. If he doesn't cover your area, he'll still be a very credible voice to the authorities if you need one. :thumbs up

And remember, cops put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else...and they usually have very good social skills. :D

Good luck with this...neighbor problems can be a b**** :sad:

Thanks everyone.

Yesterday I was outside playing with Zoe, it was a chilly day and she just loves to go go go. So I was playing fetch and taking some pics and I hear the woman open her bedroom window, it's right next to the property line, and she sits the baby in the window and starts telling him to "woof woof" at the dog. So both her and the baby are woofing at Zoe.:wall: I was just thinking how annoying is that, until a friend of mine (thankyou!!) pointed out to me that that it is teasing. My mistake not seeing it for what is was or I would have said something. I was on the lines of she was just bothering me, trying to make me go back inside.

The good thing is Zoe didn't even look over and bother with all the hulla-balloo coming from the window, she just kept playing fetch. So I snapped a few pics and then brought the toy and Zoe inside.

I am going to go to the station on Monday, I have had enough.....well more than enough to tell you the truth. I will go around to my neighbours tomorrow and ask either for them to join me or to please write their stories down. I honestly do believe like some of you have said, It wouldn't matter if I had a fence or not.......she doesn't like dogs.

Thank you all again for your advice and support. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I get some positive results.

I was going to ask about something another friend had said about, something about an order to keep the peace:shrug:, but I take it that is what mona_b said wouldn't apply. Thankyou for that info.

As for my silly fear of talking to the police, well I think that stems from thinking my problem is a minor thing. That there are more important things for them to be dealing with than a problem between neighbours. It's beginning to sink in that this problem is only going to escalate, so it is my responsiblity to take the steps to stop it now before anything serious happens. It's not going to magically go away no matter how much I wish it would.

Thanks again for the support!! I will keep you updated!

Do you have a video function on your camera? If so, use it and have Zoe run by the window so you can catch her doing it next time and not make it look so obvious. Actually, leave the camera going when she's outside, just place it on a table or somewhere nearby. If not, have you got a small pocket taperecorder? That ought to come in handy as well.

In the meantime, you can use such incidences as great training opportunities for Zoe. Everytime the neighbor makes an ass of herself, celebrate by giving Zoe very special treats.

I am so glad you are going to the police! It's the best thing you can do to protect you and Zoe! I would hate to see something happen to that sweet girl because of a :censored: of a neighbour!
I think I told you about the one I had. To make it worse I had to work with her on a daily basis! She did everything she could to make my life :censored: both at work and at home. Thankfully my super at work figured her out really fast and took my side. At home she had a rottie who had been half a**ed trained as a guard dog which she would release ever time she saw my coming down our shared drive. NOT a good situation. I finally moved but it wasn't because of her.
It won't get any better until something is done to stop her. She will keep on harassing you making it worse.
If you have a camera that is capable of taking videos, use it. Pretend to be taking pics of Zoe and use the video to show her woof woofing at you. She is the one who will look like an idiot and it gives you more to fight back with.
Good luck. I have my fingers crossed she will give up soon and put the house on the market!

You should have started mooing back at her and see what happens.

P.S. why does THIS (http://img440.imageshack.us/my.php?image=050613jacksonbabyvmed3pnw4.jpg) come to mind :confused:


*I'm allowed to be immature, I'm still a minor :D

I have to say these last two events have shown me that as much as she wants to protect the baby, she is willing to use the baby to get a reaction. That is what has me scared.

Like I said the thought of her teaching the baby to tease the dog didn't even register. But thinking after the fact was pointed out to me, ok.....so if baby is outside and starts woofing, and the baby has a sharp peirced woofing noise......maybe Zoe reacts. With what I have seen all this woman would need is Zoe to bark "meanacingly" at her child and poop would hit the fan.

Nope.....I have had enough. I feel stupid for putting Zoe's safetly on the line this long. If you have a problem with me, well that is one thing. You have a problem with my dog.....whole different ball game.

Good girl!! Go get her!!! :thumbs up

:goodvibes: for positive results!!! At the very least, you'll get something on record about this woman!

You should have started mooing back at her and see what happens.

P.S. why does THIS (http://img440.imageshack.us/my.php?image=050613jacksonbabyvmed3pnw4.jpg) come to mind :confused:


*I'm allowed to be immature, I'm still a minor :D

LOL! Kathryn, you are too funny! I was just thinking about it when the pic opened up... What a :loser:! I can't believe that she would teach her baby to tease the dog.
dogcatharmony, why dont you confront her next time she does such thing? and ask her flat out if she actually WANTS her child to get hurt? and if not, bcz thats what she will say, ask her why is she then provoking it?
I am hoping that your police visit will bear fruits, even as preventative measures.

I hope things work out for you.:goodvibes: hang in there.

As for my silly fear of talking to the police, well I think that stems from thinking my problem is a minor thing. That there are more important things for them to be dealing with than a problem between neighbours. It's beginning to sink in that this problem is only going to escalate, so it is my responsiblity to take the steps to stop it now before anything serious happens. It's not going to magically go away no matter how much I wish it would.

Minor situations grow into major situations.They deal with matters like this all the time.Trust me.;)..Yours needs to be nipped in the bud now.

When you go Monday,have everything written down.And I mean EVERYTHING.Write down how she doesn't keep an eye on her child and how the child wonders on your property.How she walked up towards you while on your property.And so on.Do you still have the list she gave you?If so,show that also.You also said you sent her a registered letter.I take it you don't have a copy?Do you have a camcorder or video on your cell?This way you can video her teaching the child to tease Zoe.

Also,put up a "beware of dog" sign.As LP stated,it doen't necessarily mean your dog is aggressive.It's just stating that a dog lives there and you are being warned.Put one in the front,side and back of the house..That's where mine are.:D..Heck my dads 80 year old neighbour has a JRT and he has a sign.LOL..To be honest,I think "everyone" with a dog should have one posted.

My suggestion,keep your nose clean.Don't retaliate in any way.This way she has nothing to say against you when the cops show up...;)

Also,talk to your neighbours.Let them know you are going to the station.Ask if it's ok to mention them in regards to their dealings with this nut job.So then this way the cops can talk to them.This is more of a back up for you.:)

Also,it wouldn't hurt for the "no trespassing" signs either.:)

Nope,a peace bond wouldn't work..A peace bond is in order when you have someone who is stalking you,keeps calling,harasses family members ect.There are no cops involed in this one.You go to your JP to obtain one.:)

Once agin,good luck.........:fingerscr:fingerscr

I think WD has had a peace bond issued about his neighbour and him kicking the fence to antagonize the dogs into barking and then the neighbour calls Animal Control about excessive barking, another :loser:

Hmmmm,I'll wait to see if he answers.But I doubt it was a peace bond.I obtained one a few weeks ago.I won't get into it.:)..But I and the other party BOTH had to apear in front of the JP under oath..And as I said,a peace bond pertains to stalking(this is criminal harrasment),phone calls,threatening harm which includes family members and pets.This from the stalker.

dogcatharmony, any news for us?

Good for you for going to the cops. Sooner or later this woman is going to escalate the situation to the point of no return. There are lots of people out there who will put themselves or their loved ones at risk just so they can scream victim when they get a reaction. Sounds to me like she's willing to risk her child's safety in order to get her way.

Good for you for going to the cops. Sooner or later this woman is going to escalate the situation to the point of no return. There are lots of people out there who will put themselves or their loved ones at risk just so they can scream victim when they get a reaction. Sounds to me like she's willing to risk her child's safety in order to get her way.

Yes, that's how it sounds to me. If Zoe attacks this child, then dogcatharmony may have her dog taken away and this neighbour will have her way.

:grouphug:

I'm timid of the police too - I think I'm just so scared of an authority figure scolding me or dismissing me as over-reacting. Be strong, dogcatharmony! I'll be sending strong "Listen to me, officer!" thoughts your way today.

Zoe's so lucky to have such a brave momma protecting her. :thumbs up

Didn't get to go today.......had a Zoe bum emergency. I just got her back from the vet's, I need to have a little relax....it's been a "B" of a Monday.

I do have all my stuff together so tomorrow morning I am on my way.

I hope Zoe is okay!

yeah Zoe is fine now. I woke up this morning to a carpet streaked with blood and pus and she was hiding under the dining room table. Zoe was acting weird last night but not the kinda weird you would put to a dog that wasn't feeling well. She was zoomin and digging the bed up....I thought it was from the storm. She was like hyper in a playfull way. Then this morning.....:eek:

Just some serious anal gland problems .....again. The one vet could not get the one to empty and she said it was super huge full.....so Zoe needed to stay there until the senior vet, who was in surgery all morning, could take a look at her. Had me seriously worried. They called at quarter after 2 and said she was ready to go home. So meds for 2 weeks and some serious thinking about having the glands removed. The senior vet said the one gland was way too full, scary full. And if she hadn't been showing any signs of them bothering her......no scooting or anything, how will I know next time if it gets that full again. And she just came off of two weeks of Cephalexin last month for a bacteria infection. Her poor bum is infected pretty bad.

:shrug:Same poop......different day. Whatcha' going to do

That really sucks that Zoe is still having her bum issues. Does the vet think it will solve the problem if you have her glands removed?

:confused:I don't know......he told me to think about it. And I went and scared myself silly reading about it on the net for three hours!! I have to have a serious talk with Zoe and tell her to start showing some darn "symptoms" so I can get her checked. I dont know...surgery spooks me, plus there would be the whole bum trust issue thing all over again......ohhh heck. I started a thread asking about removal.....I have two weeks to think it over. I should have just came home and relaxed instead of freaking myself out.

The only thing I can think of would be to just periodically have her checked, but that could effect the whole 'bum trust' issue again too. What's really bad is that Zoe's bum issues could be the thing that gets your neighbors kid bit. If that kid grabs her back end she would not appreciate that. Of course that shouldn't factor into any decision that you make, after all - Zoe's health and comfort are your top concern and I know that you would never let that kid anywhere near Zoe without you right there....

Well did you go?If so,how did it go??????

dch, any news? how is Zoe doing? just remember that we are all thinking about you!

Hi Dogcatharmony,

I've just pm you, with the info. of a brilliant Sault Ste. Marie lawyer who is also on the board of the Sault Ste. Marie Humane Society.

She's very nice.

Daizy

Well it's done......almost talked myself out of going, I was nervous. But it's done. I had two of the other neighbour's come with me and I made my complaint. Unfortunetly she has done nothing illegal, so it's really nothing more than a complaint. But they did tell me I was doing everything right in writing down the events. I have to make it clear that I do not want her in my back yard uninvited, if she needs to contact me I have a front door and she is to use that. If she continues to come into my yard after that then I can call the police and someone will be sent. They said the night she was in my back yard in the dark would have been a good time to have called them.

I was told to continue keeping my interactions with her civil, contiune to keep record of anything that happens and that is that.

Soooooooo.....in a way I kinda feel a little stupid (just my head talking) but I am taking the proper steps. I don't know if I should tell her that I made a complaint to the police, or wait until she comes back into my yard to say "hey, I don't want you here, I have spoken to the police about this and if you don't leave my yard now I will call them again" In a way I was thinking that if I told her I made a complaint then maybe she would think "hmmm she is serious" but then I think about the letter reaction and it could go the other way also. Best to just follow the advice and avoid any contact started by me.

On a brighter note, since the chilly weather has started they haven't been outside in the backyard at all. The only time I have seen them was last Friday with the window teasing event. Hopefully they will stay inside until spring and then the fence goes up!!! Not even going to ask for them to pay part, I will put it up on my side of the property line and then I don't have to see them in my backyard again!

Good job dogcatharmony:thumbs up Sometime you just have to step out of your comfort zone and go for it. My parents had problems with their neighbours too, they don't even own an animal but they kept tresspassing and even using our driveway as their own (they didn't have one). We decided to put a 6" wood fence and it stopped them. They moved shortly after and it was one of the happiest days ever for us.
Don't tell her about the complaint, just go about your business as usual. She'll find out soon enough :D

You did the right thing, dogcatharmony :thumbs up. You have to do what you must to protect your dog

Good for you, what audacity walking in and out of your yard whenever she feels like it. I think it best you say nothing about talking to the Police, you can consider it the Ace up your sleeve.

I think it best you say nothing about talking to the Police, you can consider it the Ace up your sleeve.

I totally agree keep that to your self. Or who knows what she'll do knowing her maturity level.

Good girl!! :highfive: You did what you needed to do to protect Zoe. Now let's hope between now and spring she learns a little maturity. :rolleyes: Although don't discount the winter encounters. You may shovel snow too far on her side or something equally as ridiculous! It's always good to know what your rights are. :grouphug:

A big round of applause!!! :highfive:

YEY! :thumbs up:thumbs up
I am sooo happy that you actually got your courage together and did this! This will prove to be a good thing, as I don't think she will stop her childish and silly behaviour. But having done this first, you have protected yourself and your dog from anything funky on her side. And its great that you had company, because that way, you didn't come across as a "weird lady with a dog problem".
I agree, don't tell her about the police meeting, just keep an eye, and the next time she is on your property - call them! you have given her a fair warning by sending her a registered letter...Maybe she doesn't think you are serious enough, but if she continues - she should be told otherwise.
Good job! :highfive: And I hope things will work out!! :goodvibes:

This is the first I read of your problems and how frustrating it must be.
As an example,we had a lady move in across the street,she was sending threatening notes to everyone up and down the street.
Telling us she is an arsonist,that we are all evil etc...
I kept the notes from several of the neighbors and called the police.
They told us to to keep a diary of what she does,that so far she's done nothing illegal.
It turns out she is schizophrenic(sp???)and was off her meds,now she is fine on her meds.But it was scary,knowing she was out there at night doing things.
This neighbor of yours must be somehow mentally deranged,no sane person would do what she is doing..so please be very careful and watch Zoe like a hawk.

Hi

I was wondering if u have put a No Trepassing sign on your property? That way if she comes across onto your yard again you could call the police for tresspass. Also, I hope u put up the Beware of Dog sign too.

This lady is nuts and I think she is getting off on making trouble and the drama she is causing.

I hope u can figure out a way to fix this....maybe see a lawyer? people have a right to have a peaceable existance in their home and since she has moved in, it sounds like u haven't had one.

Just a thought.

I'm so glad you reported her. Not that I expected them to do anything about it, but now you are on record as having complained and if something were to happen, they will have the history to look at.

I'll cross my fingers that you don't have to deal with this psycho til spring - and that you have the fence put up before then!

well!!! lol I have a boxer...the sweetest, loving creature to all, but you dont have to tell the neighbors that, put me on the list , we'll come visit hehe

I have read this post from beginning to end. I'm glad you took a step to protect yourself, and I"m looking forward to seeing some great fence pictures. It's a shame we get stuck with who ever move in next door, and it's a shame this woman is poisoning her childs mind with irrational thinking. I wish the best for you and your dog and I do hope that come next summer you will get to enjoy your yard to it's fullest.

P.s my dog is just a small shih tzu,, but back yard party sounds like a lot of fun.

Good for you!!!! I am glad you went as it's now on record if she does anything to you. Wait to see if she comes on your property and politely ask her to leave and from there on to utilize the phone or your front door and point out just because you don't have a fence that it doesn't mean she is welcome to just walk onto your property. I do like the idea of no trespassing sign.

Bump. Just want to see how things are going for you. :fingerscr

I'd buy her one of those kid "leashes" and tell her, if it works for my dog, maybe it'll work for your kid. Have some other neighbors over for a BBQ and then tell her to put her kid in the house because HE is causing YOU problems. The other neighbors can act as your witnesses that you have asked her not to allow the child in your yard. She is such a :loser:
OMG that almost made me pee myself:laughing:
She sounds like a real WACK JOB!!!! I think basically your up *****s creek without a paddle on this one. You would THINK if she is such a DOG hater she would have had her real-estate agent found her a nice "padded cell" to live in. If I were you I would just get a prescription for Valium or something and keep her sedated.

Dogcatharmony, I just read this whole thread. You have my deepest sympathies in dealing with this nut. We have another name for them, we call them entitlement princesses and the whole world revolves around them. Most looking to buy a house and not liking dogs would check out the neighbors/neighborhood and if the neighbors had dogs or the neighborhood was full of dogs would move on looking for something else. She has a different view in that you should accommodate her and get rid of your dog to suit her. The neighborhood to change to suit her. We have dealt with a few of these over the years.

We have this type next door to us. Luckily for us, we figured this out as they were moving in and don't play the game. We haven't actually spoken to them since they moved in over a a year ago and are quite happy to keep it that way. We did have 4 dogs when they moved in, a border collie, a great dane, a mini snauzer mutt and a shih tzu. They aren't dog people heck they aren't even people people lol. She likes to make passive aggressive comments when she "thinks" we aren;t listening. WE ignore her and life goes on as usual. Since they have moved in, the dane and the border collie have gone to the bridge and all we have are the 2 little dogs. She quite often makes comments about little dogs are useless, all they do is yap, why would anyone williingly get a little dog etc. My shih tzu only barks when someone comes to the door and the other little guy rarely leaves the house, I don;t even think she has ever seen him (he is 13 and thinks our soul purpose in life is to provide his every comfort lol. He doesn;t like to go for walks, the fire hydrant if more than far enough, and if it is snowing forget it, his paws might get wet lol. The bed is not for people to sleep in, but he will allow it begrudgingly). Anyways, her comments make me laugh. I have a friend that breeds chihuahuas and I keep threatening to have a puppy party with her in the backyard lol.

I would say at this point, she is not going to change and her ultimate goal in llife is for you to not have a dog. I would tell her not to step foot on your property ever and if she does need to communicate with you to do it in writing from now on. Then ignore her. Go about your life as if she is not there. Do not change what you do for her. If she is having a barbecue then it is her problem if she is bothered by the fact that you actually want to use your own backyard at the same time. Of course, wwe have a fence so it makes this practise alot easier.

As for putting in the posts, our house is built on alot of clay too. When we had to dig holes for the posts for our front porch we used an ice auger (it is used for drilling holes in the ice for ice fishing). It was the same width as the sono tubes we were using and actually worked better than a hole digger. Didn't damage it at all and my boss actualy borrowed it when he was putting up a fence. You could try getting your hands on one of those. Trust me, a fence makes dealing with them a WHOLE lot easier. We also used 4 x 8 lattice panels, trimmed out with 1 x 2's to give us some privacy in parts of the garden as our fence is chain link. You can either use them side ways or turn them upright and have vines climbing up them. We got around the height requirement of 7 feet cause they are trellises, not a fence and we only did that in one spot to keep the neighbor's kid from jumping the fence repeatedly.

Brenda

You don't need to spend more than $100 getting some 3 foot or 4 foot wire fencing, and some metal stakes. Put the fence at least at the part of the yard that the little boy enters through. Spending this time and money is well worth the comfort it'll give both sides. Your neighbor is obviously beyond being rational and reasonable, and may have had a terrible experience when a child herself. But don't be afraid to stick up for yourself and your dog. Your neighbor is bullying you! Good Luck!

I'm finally getting caught up around here after being MIA for awhile. :o

Glad you got everything documented with the police and you have neighbours to back you up. I agree with Chris and would not let your nutjob neighbour know that you have a complaint filed.

I'm sure you haven't seen the last of this nutjob.......good luck with future encounters. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

dogcatharmony, how are you doing? how is Zoe doing?? I hope all is ok. :)

You should talk to a lawyer who specializes in such things - namely, animal law and/or property law.

I am a law student, and although I don't know Canadian law very well, I can tell you that it's not likely to be on your side if something were to happen. Even if the child is "trespassing," if the dog bites him you'd be liable.

I would do everything possible to get a sturdy fence up, tell the woman that any entry on your property not specifically authorized by you will be considered trespassing, and don't hesitate to back that up. If you have to put up a temporary fence - do it. It will be a lot more expensive if something happens and you get sued.

Also, even though she's done nothing criminal so far, that does not mean that civil remedies might not be available to you. There are nuisance laws most everywhere, though I don't know the sum and substance of them where you live. Might be worth looking into.

Finally, be careful about putting up "beware of dog" signs. In some places these can be an admission that the dog is dangerous, and if you were to end up in court you don't need that. Check out the laws where you live.

Well we have been having a nice quiet time, nobody outside at all until this afternoon when her hubby came out to mow the lawn, He doesn't even look my way so I don't need to worry about him. Both Zoe and I have been getting lots of sunshine, so nice that both of us prefer the cooler weather and enjoy the fall. Zoe is more spunky now that she can go outside from the minute she wakes up untill bed time (if she pleases). I have been a heck of lot more relaxed

I did put up a NO Trespassing sign on the side of my house that faces their yard. It is quite obvious that it means them. I had the meter reader(public utilities worker) laugh at me, the sign is right above the meter, she said "thought you put that up so you would'nt get a bill" I only wish....LOL!!

I do know that my peace could end at any minute, they still have some summer stuff that needs to be put away out in the yard......but hopefully that will be quick and painless.

So it has been not to bad this month. I sure hope it contines this way until spring, I am still quite nervous at having to say that I went to the police and made a formal complaint.

Thanks again for all the support and advice. It's still mind-boggling that I put up with that all summer, but a lesson learned.

Oh and Laylapet, I put off going to the police to long. They told me that if I would have called the night she was wandering around my back yard, they would have had means to speak to her because of public mischief. I also have a Dog on Premises sign in my window instead of a "BEWARE" sign, already had a police officer explain the difference to me.

She is just a busy-body, I do like how Bj601 put it.....entitlement princess........hit the nail on right on the head with that one

Its nice to know that everything is going pretty good for you:thumbs up..Still becarefull when it comes to this crazy woman. She is obviously unstable, and it sounds to me that there would be a higher chance of gettin' bit by this woman then by your dog. lol... I reeeaaally can't stand this woman, and i havent even met her! I can only im,agine your feelings towards her... I accually pity her a little, she will never know the true joys an animal an bring, whether it be a pitbull or a chi-chi. She is nothing but a childish, unstable ***** Disturber! (Pardon my french:o)

Hi dogcatharmony

I just saw this thread today and as usual I am late..:D I was going to post a similar thread about my neighbour and my cats! I will post it elsewhere.

You have bent over backwards for this person and done everything you possibly can to keep the peace. As many have said, I doubt that anything will change no matter how much you do. Even if you didn't have a dog, she would have a problem with something you did. Sounds like it is both her and her husband that are nuts, so the only thing I can see you doing is resigning yourself to having nutbar neighbours.

From what you have said throughout this, I think we are very much alike, right down to feeling that the police have better things to do and feeling guilty when I talk to them, especially if there is no reason for it. I feel so badly for you suffering all the stress of having this nutjob of a :crazy: neighbour. I know how much my situation has taken out of me, and can only imagine what it has taken out of you. I avoid confrontation like the plague.

Zoe is also probably reacting to your stress level when this crazy is around. If you are like me, you go outside to have a nice relaxing time and find yourself all uptight just waiting for the neighbour and her offspring to show up. That is the worst part of having a neighbour who is nuts.

I think you need a sign at both your front and back door that says "Beware of Dog" in some way or "Dog lives here". BrightEyes's mentioned this sign "Nevermind the dog, beware of the owner!". I had a sign that said almost exactly that, which I purchased where they sell all sorts of signs. Maybe if you look in a large pet store you can find a sign that says something non-threatening like "Dog Inside". We are required here to have a sign and I know of at least one instance in my city where the sign saved the animals during a fire, because the firemen found out there were animals and went looking for them.

I see everyone giving you ideas on how to spend money to deal with this problem. Build a fence, hire a lawyer, go to court etc., and I'm sure you haven't the money for most of them. It makes me sick that you have to spend money to keep this person and her child out, without her feeling some of the financial pain. As a fence is an excellent idea to keep Zoe safe, I definitely agree with that idea.

Here in Ajax, we have fencing bylaws that apply to fences that divide two properties. The Bylaw requires the neighbour to pay 1/2 of the fence costs. We have to have 3 estimates done by fencing contractors, then send a copy of the bylaw and the estimates to my neighbour by registered mail 14 days prior to beginning the work. (If I got along with them, then handing it to them and discussing the fence would work) If they refuse to pay, then I am supposed to send them a registered letter with another copy of the bylaw, requiring them to pay their half. The three estimates are so that together we can choose the contractor and control the price. If they still refuse to pay, you get the work done, and then send another registered letter with a copy of the bylaw with the costs detailed to the defaulting neighbour demanding payment. If they do not pay within 30 days then you file an affidavit in court to recover the 50% from the defaulter. I found out that this is an Ontario Law, not local. Filing the affidavit in court can be done by you at the courthouse for a minimal fee.
You could do all this by mail without speaking to her about it. I really object to you having to pay for the entire fence when it is her fault you have to install it. Make her PAY for all the aggrevation she has given you and Zoe :thumbs up

You should be able to get all the info you need on the city website. They usually have these bylaws online and you can just print it off. I would look up all the bylaws pertaining to animals, fences and everything else on the website for your city. That way you will be fully informed about the laws regarding all the issues you bring up here.

About the actual fence:
Asian posted pictures of the spikes that go into the ground to hold the posts. I have had those posts holding up a 28 ft section of fence for 17 years now without a problem. The soil here is mostly clay.

I am so glad you finally were able to go to the police :) You now have it on record that she is a nutbar. I would have the neighbour who knows the policeman who just moved into the neighbourhood, introduce you to him. I'm sure he would be happy to support you in this. I honestly think getting together with your neighbours that have dogs is great :thumbs up Keep them in the loop about all her contacts, that way you may be able to get a case against her, that you can take to the police.

She sounds like she has been on everyone's case in the neighbourhood who have dogs. I really doubt her issue is with Zoe, it seems to me she just likes to cause trouble with her neighbours. I suspect if you get together with your neighbours you can put together a plan to deal with her as a group. If you get together with the others you may be able to get her to move away :)

I have a couple of suggestions for you that may or may not be practical. I would phone my local Humane Society, animal control, SPCA, and even the Bylaw office and tell them what is happening and ask them how to handle this. If nothing else, they will probably make a record of it and help you if something does happen (what a horrible thought:sick:) or if she decides to start calling them about Zoe. I know when I make a complaint I find it much easier to deal with them over the phone than in person. Also it would probably be a good idea to make sure your vet knows about it. Just my :2cents:

Last but not least, is she abusing that little child of hers. She put her/him in the window ...that's dangerous! If you suspect she is then a call to Children's Aid might also be a good idea.

I wish you all the best of luck with this and hope it ends soon for you.:pray: :D

Good advice dbg10 except for this.........
I would have the neighbour who knows the policeman who just moved into the neighbourhood, introduce you to him. I'm sure he would be happy to support you in this.

If DCH should happen to meet this neighbour and the conversation about the :crazy: should happen to come up and then he decides to support her, good for her. Let the man have his privacy when he is at home. I am sure he would love to leave his job at the job.

Good advice dbg10 except for this.........
I would have the neighbour who knows the policeman who just moved into the neighbourhood, introduce you to him. I'm sure he would be happy to support you in this.

If DCH should happen to meet this neighbour and the conversation about the :crazy: should happen to come up and then he decides to support her, good for her. Let the man have his privacy when he is at home. I am sure he would love to leave his job at the job.

I said that wrong 14+, that's not what I meant. What I was thinking was she (like me) has trouble approaching new people. If she were introduced by someone she already knows, then she at least will know who he is and what he is like and they may even become friendly. I didn't mean that she should go and talk to him about the problems she has with her neighbour, just to meet him.

I know from experience that policemen/women like to know who their neighbours are. I know that I have a lot less trouble now, approaching police or making a complaint to them since one moved into my neighbourhood and came by to introduce himself and let us know where he lived. I can appreciate that he doesn't want to hear all the gossip and neighbour problems when he is off duty, he sees enough of it when on duty. But whether DCH says something to him about her neighbour or not, I expect he will hear about it from others, especially when she has already made a complaint at the station.

:thumbs up I have an update and it's a positive one......a really good one. I have to say it's the kind of positive outcome that I like better than involving police and hard feelings .....still doesn't stop me from putting up a fence next year, still doesn't mean I am all buddy buddy and not put my guard down, but at least a little fella gets a chance at not hating dogs.

Last weekend I had the hubby come over to talk with me while I was mowing my lawn. Shocked me because he does not talk at all, but I have to say I was wrong about him. He may not have been talking but he was watching all along. He told me that he doesn't want his son being afraid of dogs like his wife. Although he doesn't know anything about dogs he said that he doesn't think Zoe is a bad dog and she seems to listen well. He understood that our neighbourly relationship was not a good one, and was a little shocked at the length I had gone to, but seemly got the jist of it and why I was concerned. He agreed things had gotten a bit out of hand.

I have to say that I was extremely hesitant just from all the b.s. over the summer. I am not really a "people" person, but hearing the little guy calling ooooeeee awwgy.........well I really can't be ticked at a one year old with a paranoid parent.

So........MY rules, My yard (which needs to be entered and exited by the driveway) My time and absolutely what I say goes NO arguements.........the little guy got to meet Zoe.

It's been a week and I have to say tonight was the best. He got to play throw the ball and hope that Zoe fetched......which she did and even dropped it on command. He can't throw the ball father than his feet, but Zoe gets her "wait" "ready" command, she started off waiting about 10 feet away then moved up to about five feet away, she asks "woof" for the ball to be thrown, the little fella drops the ball, Zoe waits until I kick the ball and she fetches and brings it back, then runs back to her "waiting" position and woofs again. I have to say the kid is easy to deal with, Zoe barks, he kinda staggers back and looks at you, say throw the ball and he is all giggles and does his little throw.

35 mins of fun later.....Zoe is pooped, the kid is pooped, I was knelt down kinda holding the kid by the middle and Zoe gives him a sniff and a kiss and runs up the back stairs and sits at the door. I said "Zoe has to go eat supper and go to bed" , the mom says "totally unbelieveable". No not unbelievable, she is a good dog, and the more you get to know her you will see, and she will see that there is no threat. As long as there is SUPERVISION, and stress the supervision part.....the little fellow and dog can get along. She even stood by Zoe once and let her sniff her, and she even threw the ball a few times. She's not 100% sure on herself or how to act , and I can in a way respect that. I don't know why she doesn't like dogs. I'm not 100% sure of how to handle a child either, or how to totally deal with an adult that I have had problems with. So we are both learning. The easy thing is all of us baby and dog included understand "NO".....the dog stops, the baby stops and the mom stops, I get to stop and explain myself.

The mom asked me if it was nice tomorrow if we could do this again in the afternoon. :D........I had to say yes, watching Zoe play and seeing the little guy happy......well that's a good thing. Mom and I working out our issues, good as long as the rules are followed. So far, so good, it's been a week and some things have had to be said over and over, but I would like to think there is a bit of trust devolping.

I'm still putting up a fence so that I am 100% sure that Zoe is safe but if the little fellow wants to play well then let him learn that dogs aren't as scary as his mom thinks they are. Maybe we will all get something out of it.:shrug:

oh yaaaaay that is excellent news, i'm more impressed that the mom is even participating. She may surprise you alot. Could be something happened to her concerning a dog, something parents taught her, but hey atleast she's trying. And Zoe is such a good girl, i love when our babies teach people stuff. Good for you and Zoe.:thumbs up

That is great news dogcatharmony, I had been wondering how it had transgressed. It's crummy being on bad terms with your neighbour and a pity that the mother got off to a bad start.

I think you handled it great :thumbs up

That is the best news I have read in a long time! YAY Zoe!!! YAY YOU! and Yay for a child for teaching some adults that life can be wonderful and fun. Wishing you more success!!!

I have to say I am totally shocked the mom is participating also. Started of with the dad, and then the grandparents (they were visiting for three days during the week) and then the mom. She blew my socks off asking if we could do it again tommorow.

I have to say the grandmom (don't know if it was her mom or the dad's mom) had a big part in how we got this far. That woman was awesome. She had questions and her own observations that she wasn't shy to express ( not only on the dog issues, but on the over all parenting of the child while he was outside) She was on the mom about not letting the kid run all willy-nilly and wait until the "danger" zone was an inch away before reacting. I even sat down and had a beer with the grandparents, they were excellent people. I imagine other stuff was said "indoors" but I got my issues across to them. They are country people, shared their stories about all the wild life experiences and how they manage to get along with bears stealing their garbage and roaming around but still living among it and being safe for both the bears and themselves. They were definitly my kind of people.....so who knows what was said.

If it can make for good neighbours, I am all for it. I still get a bit nervous thinking about it, but so far our play dates have been out of the blue. I know I can't be nervous, Zoe would pick that up in an instant. I got a bit nervous tonight, the little fellow asked for "up" and I have no real kid experience.........I told myself focus, pick him up and tell Zoe to find the ball. Picked him up, zoe got the ball and the kid pulled my hat off and asked down .....and the game continued. Simple.....just not use to it. I got my confidence back after that, the mom let me pick her boy up without a peep with my dog right infront of me........progress......I can do this.

Wow, that is a so much better update than I expected (I peeked in here with :fingerscr and half-wincing)... :highfive: Both child and mom getting some good training in dealing with dogs and diplomacy! :D Good job, dogcatharmony!! :thumbs up

aha, so you're getting a little education too, dogcatharmony there is nothing better than a full blown little person hug, they just wrap the hug right around you.

I too have been wondering how things have been going. This is wonderful news! I'm with you in being a little shocked that they mom asked to participate. Apparently someone gave her a talking to, lol. But all in all, I see this as the best thing that could happen. The mom probably grew up with someone in the family being mauled by a dog and this is all she's heard. I hate when people do that. From the sounds of it, I'd say the grandparents were from the father's side, since they lived in the country complete with wild animals etc. This little boy is going to benefit so much from what you are doing with/for him. That's gotta be a great feeling. :grouphug:

awwwwwwww WTG.. Great for Zoe & you.

So nice to read an update that this is going on in babysteps.:thumbs up

That's great news! As I was reading through, I was trying to remember if there was a Mr. dogcatharmony, and if so, maybe have him mention in passing something to the husband.

Oh, and don't worry about dealing with kids. They're a lot like dealing with dogs...let them lead, be firm, and for gosh sakes, flat palm, FLAT PALM!

Wtg! I wonder what brought that all about? I mean the hubby coming and talking to you. It's still good he did.
Baby steps, seriously. The baby will learn to trust dogs. Zoe will learn babies are always a bad thing. Mom will learn Zoe is fantastic. Mom will learn you are a great neighbour! :highfive: to you!

If it is a nice day tomorrow maybe I will take a few pics of Zoe with her new friend. Thinking about sure does make you smile, I must need a bit of little one interaction.......I keep looking at Zoe sleeping thinking....oh you were so good tonight. I will have to thank the mom tomorrow, now sitting back and thinking about it, it must have taken a lot of nerve to get were she got to tonight. I have to say I really didn't focus on the mom a lot....I watched Zoe and the baby. I was thinking I must have looked a bit of a fool praising both Zoe and the baby........made me think of potty training Zoe way back when. One big party when either of them did something.......:crazy: Felt good thought........can't complain about that.

IMO you never, ever look like a fool when you are trying to teach a child or an animal something good. :highfive:

LMBO Schwinn........once I saw that the baby reacted to the same commands the dog did.......well it was a peice of cake. They really do understand the same language....no,stop, wait, ball,.........simple!!

Zoe is probably thrilled to death. Good for her. I'm sure she's enjoying the interaction with the baby. And I'm glad the mom got a talking to about just letting her kid run wild, willy-nilly all over the place.

And nope, Schwinn is right, kids aren't hard, they're alot like puppies....takes time and patience. Before ya know it, you'll be giving HIM treats right along Zoe.... hopefully not dog treats, but, you know what I mean :laughing:

YEY!! :p
I am so happy to hear the news! Its great!!! Maybe she had mentioned your letter to her husband and he started paying attention? Who knows...Keep your eyes and ears open, just in case, but I think maybe this is a beginning of a great relationship and maybe one day you will be able to look back at this and laugh together...
Invite her for a coffee sometime, to get to know her...she might not be all that bad after all.
:):)

That is such good news!!! I'm glad things look like they have turned around! Good girl Zoe!!

Just take baby steps and remember kids forget things in a very short time, so be prepared to remind the baby often on what to do.:)

Debbie

dogcatharmony awesome news :highfive:

I'm so glad things are going so much better :thumbs up

Wow that is great news :thumbs up. Your patience with the little boy will do wonders to educate him on human/dog relationships :highfive:

I am so glad things are working out for you:thumbs up

This is great to hear. You know, I think the fact that you did write the letter and report them, lead them to think "WTF" and reflect upon their own behaviour. Perhaps they didn't realize how they were coming across. It can be very humbling to have a mirror put up to your face and distressing when you don't like what you see.

That is fantastic news dogcatharmony kudos to all of you :thumbs up It makes me wonder if your neighbour read and was told all the horror stories about dogs when she was pregnant with the baby. Since her parents don't seem to be the source of her attitude, it must have come from somewhere else. I am so happy for Zoe to have the baby to play with and also happy that this baby will grow up loving dogs.

I hope Mom knows that not all dogs are like Zoe so she doesn't allow her baby to run up to unknown dogs.

I really hope this is the beginning of a great relationship with your neighbour. What a surprise!

Babies are much like dogs and cats, just relax and do what comes naturally with him.:)

I'm so glad that things are going better! I would agree that either something happened to her as a child, or to someone in her family - so she grew up with the fear either ingrained, or put there by family members. Maybe the husband saw that she was exhibiting behaviors, and teaching the baby behaviors, that would ultimately invite a bite and reinforce that fear.

I know its tough for adults to admit they have an irrational fear and are passing that fear onto their kids. We have a few parents bring their children into DH's shop because they are afraid of dogs but don't want their kids to be. They realize that Hazel is a big sweetie so they bring their children in to play with her and get some positive exposure to big dogs. DH (as instructed...lol) takes the opportunity to tell the little ones that not every dog is as nice as Hazel and to ALWAYS wait for the dogs mom or dad to help them say hi to the dog.

Good for Zoe for being so patient with the little guy (the moving up a bit, waiting, moving up a bit...had me rofl!) - and yup, kids are like dogs. They need consistent rules, consistent boundaries and consistent expectations. It doesn't really change until the kid gets to be a teenager and thinks they know everything. LOL You must be very relieved!

Well it's still not a perfect situation but we can work on it. Today the husband wanted to see his son play fetch, it's been raining the last few days. So I got a knock on my door and I agreed we could play some ball. So the little guy dropped the ball a few times and Dad went to do some lawn work way way out back......of course Zoe didn't see him go, she was focused on the ball. So it must have been 15mins later and Zoe sees someone standing way out back and she runs to the end of her line and does the "stranger" bark. The mom grabs her kid and says "OH is that the Chow part of her doing that????":wall:

No that's the dog part of her doing that, stranger standing in the field, partially hidden by long weeds in the shade with his hands on his hips....she's sounding a warning. Once he walked more into her vision, Zoe was like "oh, it's you.......okay where's that ball???" and all was forgotten.

But I think I found a key into opening our relationship up.....she is an avid birdwatcher and knows tons of information on them. She solved the riddle of the strange feathers in the yard.....we have a grouse hanging around. So I found the more I asked about the birds the more relaxed she got and focused on something she knew. I think in some way I can use this to start explaining dogs to her.....maybe an information exchange or something.

That sounds like a fantastic idea! Exchanging info always helps to open up a relationship.
She sure has a lot to learn about dogs and their behaviours. Too bad you can't give her a book to read. :rolleyes:
Keep up the good work on your end! :thumbs up

WOW....what a great turn of events. :thumbs up I love happy endings. :cloud9:

I am so glad you have found a way to talk to her about her interests. As you say it will allow you an opening to teach her about dogs. Im almost glad that Zoe barked at the husband because it opened the door to show how Zow reacts to someone she initially thinks is a stranger and then realizes the person is ok. If it had been a stranger I think your neighbour would have been more afraid of Zoe's reaction and all the work you've done with her in the last week or so would have gone down the tubes. You had a chance to explain Zoe's behaviour to her when all was well. Hopefully she now realizes that dogs react to strangers on ''their territory''

Great job you've done with this whole situation, I am so happy it is working out! :thumbs up

DCH, how are things on your end? :)

Well I had to lay out a few more ground rules......I almost put a stop to the whole thing, but Zoe just loves that little guy. If we are in the house and she hears him outside, she starts whining at the door with her bum just a wiggling.

We had two instances that almost made me say "NOPE, NO MORE". One was the woman bringing cookies over and trying to get her son to run around with a cookie in his hand. I don't know if it was a test from her, but Zoe could care less about food, cares even less about accepting food from a stranger, but I don't want the whole food deal anyways. This is the second cookie episode, the other time I caught her throwing the oatmeal raisin cookies in my yard, I saw her from my back window.

The second thing was I was starting to be the babysitter. Mom would come over, stay a bit and then say Oh can you watch him for a minute....the one day the minute turned into almost a half and hour. I brought him home and she was inside doing something.

Zoe is doing wonders with the kid, but she doesn't trust the mom. She wants nothing to do with her. I have to watch Zoe closer with the mom than I do the kid. Which doesn't help things. That is one reason I think she was leaving the kid with me, she just is not comfortable at all. She just can't grasp the attitude she has to have around Zoe. She can't relax. Even the one day the little guy brought his own ball over, one of those really thin plastic balls, and he rolled the ball to Zoe....she freaked "OH NO SHE"LL POP THE BALL, SHE"LL RUIN IT" Zoe fetched and brought the ball over with gentle teeth.....and got ready for it to be tossed again. I told the woman my nephew came over once with a balloon...and I told him that it had to be put away....but quicker than I could react Zoe had the balloon in her mouth and ran around for 5 mins with that stupid balloon in her mouth without popping it. The woman said "But she has teeth..." Yeah well she knows how to be gentle with them too.

I don't know the next step to help with the mom. That's more complicated.:shrug:

oatmeal raisin cookies :eek:

Better tell her raisins can make your dog sick. What a wack job...

I just don't get it, if the mom is so concerned about her child and has such a fear of dogs, then why does she leave her child with you and Zoe?? I am really confused on this woman's way of thinking. I don't disrepect her fear of dogs, but if she truly feels dogs are "mean", then why does she do things that in her mind puts her child in jeopardy?

She almost seems to want something to happen to her baby.

oatmeal raisin cookies :eek:

Better tell her raisins can make your dog sick. What a wack job...

Maybe she knows raisins are poisonous :evil:

I think she is doing it because her husband said to. She really has no interest herself, so she can still tell hubby, yep he got to play with the dog today. At least that is how I am seeing it. I try to keep the negative thoughts out of my head, but it's hard because of her track record. I felt super strange that day she was gone that long, I dont mind 5-10 mins if you have to run in to use the bathroom or check on dinner but don't just go home and leave me with your kid. She could have sat at their patio table and just watched, or gone home and raked some leaves outside, something that still had her out in veiw.

I told her that raisins were posionious to dogs when I caught her chucking them in my yard, she said she didn't know that. I told her I wanted no food, even if it was dog treats to be thrown in my yard.

I think it's done for the year anyway, super chilly again........and then next year fence time

DCH, I think that you have one of those cases where its one step ahead, two steps back...:rolleyes: You should definitely be clear about some rules, bring it up to her that you are not her babysitter and won't take that responsibility. The best time to do that would be the next time it happens, when she casually says : "oh, can you watch him for a minute..", you can just as casually answer that no, you can't, because a. you are busy, b. you dont want to take on that responsibility, c. you are no comfortable with her leaving you with her child, d. all of the above. :shrug:
Also, about the food, talk to her and ask her if her child has any allergies, if yes or no - doesn't matter, either way, how would she feel if a stranger was feeding him something? I think she needs to start realizing, that Zoe isn't just your dog, she is your family and she better start treating her with some respect. Your yard is not a dumpster, where she is welcome to throw her old cookies, in hopes that your dog will eat them.

ou, if you see her, can you do me a favour please?? ask her why she hates those breeds of dogs?

also i think you did the right thing by taking her leash back a foot, that's making sure oyur not in the wrong!:thumbs up and its her kids faulT!

If this child is a toddler then it's not his fault I would squarely lay the blame on the parents for not being responsible enough to ensure their child stay within the bounds of their part of the yard.

Personally, I think if you give in to them like you have been, you are giving them all the power and letting them take away your dogs enjoyment.
Tell them you don't appreciate them letting their child enter your yard, and suggest they get one of those kiddie corals to keep their child contained.
No way no how, would someone stop me from enjoying time with my dog in my own yard.
She probably hasn't had an experience with a dog, she is probaby basing her bias upon media hype.
Take a stand, don't let them bully you in your own home and your own yard.

Ugh, I'm sorry that sounded cranky, I certainly didn't mean it to sound cranky I'm so sorry.
I've read this thread and I just got sooo heated up over what you are going thru that I let it get in the way of properly articulating myself.

I know you are doing everything you can, and believe me I so feel for you.
I'm really not a cranky person, I guess having faced situations similar to the one you are facing got me a bit worked up.

I would so love to bring my Rotti and my two Pit girls and my son's little Pit over to your house for a doggy playdate, omg that would be soooo much fun:evil:

Again sorry for sounding cranky, Ugh I think I need to go walk this off.:sad:

You didn't sound cranky to me, I was appauled (sp?) when she gave me the list of dogs she didn't like. I personally would have loved to hear an explaination on why she didn't like each one of the breeds she listed. I don't think she had any bad experience with dogs, the parents didn't mention anything when I spoke with them, and they didn't mind Zoe at all. The dad (well grandpa so I don't confuse anyone) commented on Zoe not being bothered by anything, that she liked to sit quitely and watch everything. They even had a chain saw running that day and Zoe just sat there with that look on her face like "what you doing to my shade tree?" I do believe she is a victim of media hype.

WOW,
I just read this whole thread... what a read!
I couldn't imagine going through what you and Zoe have gone through this summer {{hugs}}
I'm glad things are coming around, but I am really hoping you can get a fence up this for this summer.

Hang in there.

Next time she asks if you can watch the child,just say that you can't as Jennie said.If your not comfortable,then don't do it.;)

It's nice though that Zoe has a little playmate.:D

DCH, I think that you have one of those cases where its one step ahead, two steps back...:rolleyes: You should definitely be clear about some rules, bring it up to her that you are not her babysitter and won't take that responsibility. The best time to do that would be the next time it happens, when she casually says : "oh, can you watch him for a minute..", you can just as casually answer that no, you can't, because a. you are busy, b. you dont want to take on that responsibility, c. you are no comfortable with her leaving you with her child, d. all of the above. :shrug:
Also, about the food, talk to her and ask her if her child has any allergies, if yes or no - doesn't matter, either way, how would she feel if a stranger was feeding him something? I think she needs to start realizing, that Zoe isn't just your dog, she is your family and she better start treating her with some respect. Your yard is not a dumpster, where she is welcome to throw her old cookies, in hopes that your dog will eat them.

Great suggestions. :thumbs up

I'm glad that things (overall) have been better with the neighbor. I would bet that she had no idea that raisins are toxic to dogs - there are alot of people that are fairly knowledgeable about dogs that don't know that. But even if raisins weren't toxic, dogs don't need human junk food. I would be very adamant that she not feed Zoe anything without your permission. I had a neighbor that would throw all sorts of left over food over my fence. My one dog would never eat it, but the other would scarf it down. Even though I asked him repeatedly to not do that, it escalated to where he would open the gate so that he could leave them containers of stew among other things. What was worse was that he would leave the gate open - my dogs got out numerous times, and one of them was deaf so she couldn't hear cars or anything to warn her, let alone me calling for her. I finally had to get mad and yell at him (the poor guy had alzheimer's).

I think the fact that she is into birds will work in your favor. It will be easier to educate her on the ways of dogs if you can relate the behaviors to similar bird behaviors (like being protective of territory).

Holy!! What a summer!!!! Poor Zoe. My boys love playing with kids. (I have 4 two legged kids plus the boys) So Matt and Murphy think all kids should play with them. With my guys being soo big I try and educate the parents the best I can about Matt and Murphy so they don't get so nervous around a big dog. Mind you I have a 3 year old that crawls all over Matt and lays on him so that helps. I can't even imagine what you are going through. But I would be telling her that you are not a babysitter. I just can't believe that she would be that nervey after basicly insulting you and your dog. I would keep a journal. Just in case. Good luck:thumbs up:pawprint:

I bet you are breathing a sigh of relief now that the summer is over and they've essentially disappeared inside. I would be too :)

I agree with JennieV that you should refuse to allow her to leave her child with you for even a minute. This woman seems insensitive to other people, totally wrapped up in herself.

If you run into problems next summer before you get a chance to put up the fence, and she says she needs to run inside for a minute and could you watch baby, you could say 'I was just going inside myself so no I can't.' However, that is not very direct and doesn't deal with the problem so the suggestions JennieV made are better.

I am so glad that period of extreme stress is over for you, I'm sure you are feeling much more relaxed now than at the height of it. You've done a great job dealing with her and her child! :D

How are things going? Good i hope:fingerscr

Making more progress?

We had a few more playdates. The one was short because Mom wasn't participating. I just said that Zoe was going in the house because I can't contol both by myself......(:rolleyes: I was having one of my short fuse days, so I was brutally honest).

The little guy cried and pitched a fit because the dog went in the house. She had a hard time getting him over to their yard because he was having one heck of a hissy fit. Oh yeah, another time they were just in the back yard and the little guy tried bonking Zoe on the head with a plastic shovel. That didn't go over well.

The next time Mom was participating 100% and it went well. Yesterday was hilarious because we had our first snow fall, and Zoe was having super zoomies. So we spent a good hour making snow balls and watching her try to fetch them. So all in all it's been good. Zoe ran up and gave the little guy a big kiss when he started crying because he didn't want to wear his mitts(loved the look on mom's face).....then she took off with one when he put his hand out.....lots of giggles watching me run around the yard trying to get a little weenie mitt out of ol'sloberpuss's mouth. Then he wouldn't keep his mitts on because he kept trying to give them to Zoe.

Hopefully it keeps going well......the two of them are a hoot.

Good for Zoe!!!! Just shows she has More class then the mom!!!! Glad things are better for you now

how are things goin with you and the neigbour now

Thanks Kara1 for reminding me to post an update. I was going to do it earlier but forgot with all the commotion of a new kitty into the house.

This summer is going excellent so far:thumbs up

Zoe and the little guy are like peas in a pod when he is allowed over. I have worked up to him giving her treats, her favorite green milkbones. He knows to tell her to sit, and then gives her the treat. He has even started calling her by her nickname "boo". Mom seems seriously more relaxed, I even have her petting Zoe now.:highfive:

Dad has got more involved and the little guy is supervised now by one or the other parent at all times. No more bolting into the backyard. I have started letting him take one of her toys home with him and then he brings it back at the play time I have set. If it is too hot out, they have to wait until later after supper when it's cooler. The mom asked if we could start taking a walk together some time.

A fence is still going up, work on it starts in the middle of July, have some renovations to do to. So it has been a complete turn around since last summer.....I don't want to jinx it, I really hope it stays the same.

thanks i was curious how your situation was over there

YEAH!! *Jumping up and down and doing the happy dance*

I am so glad things are going so much better than last year!! And I am glad that u are still going to put up a fence too. Don't forget to put it on YOUR side of the property line so they can't mess with it or if they move new neighbours can't mess with it.

Debbie :D

Good to hear! Having neighbors who don't like dogs is a royal pain.....i've got some.

Fantastic News! :highfive:

You deserve a lot of credit for introducing this mother and child to dogs in such a way that they have both learned how torespect and love them. Children who are afraid of dogs are often the ones who have bad experiences with dogs because they don't know how to approach them, let alone how to act around one. Congratulations!

I'm sure it is much more pleasant having them as neighbours now, a far cry from last year. I wish you and Zoe continued luck with them :)

I have to say that I am using both of them to help each other. And Zoe is the one who deserves all the credit, she is such a good dog and just loves little kids.

I have been teaching the boy how to pet Zoe, and Zoe has a problem with her bum. But she doesn't think of it when the little fella is around. She will even walk beside him patiently, with his hand on her back (or bum) when he is trying to go somewhere. It's like she knows not to move or he would tumble over.

The mother is the amazing thing, Zoe gives her the "get over here now and pet me!" bark. And she does, she will even sit down on the grass and give Zoe a belly rub.

It's totally amazing what animals can teach us humans. I was ready to build a brick wall between us.......Zoe walked us through it......and now things are going good. The mother and I sat outside one night until midnight just shooting the poop.........