Long walk to the mailbox...

First I hope I am posting this in the correct place, if not I apologize.

This September, it will be two years that my baby Benny, my golden retriever, has been gone. He passed away suddenly here at home due to cardiomyapathy (sp?).
I think about Benny, every single day. Infact just before I go to sleep every night, I say good night to my dogs and then I whisper "Good nite Ben".
I had him since he was 8 weeks old, he passed away 4 days shy of his 10th birthday. He was the most amazing boy, super intellegent and handsome, and my very best friend. We would go to the schools and put on shows, he was a math wiz, adding,subtracting and multiplying equations up to 20 without finger prompts. He could get me a beer or a coke out of the fridge, he would bring me the cordless when it rang and so much more.
My favorite thing about him tho, was how he would fold himself up into a U shape wiggling all over with a big toothy smile every morning and when we would come home from an outing.
For some reason today has been an unusually hard day, he has been on my mind all day long, I have called Kato Benny at least 5 times today.
The kicker tho, was when I went to check the mail, and suddenly I felt so alone, Benny would go to the mailbox with me daily, it's up around the corner from us. I was half way there today when the tears came, I just started bawling like a baby.
I miss him soo much, I have had other dogs that have passed away, and altho it was painful and sad to lose them in time it eases a bit, but not with Benny. It hurts as much today as it did almost 2 years ago.

I know he is running free and healthy at the Bridge, but I want him here with me, where he belongs.
Will it ever get easier? Or am I just crazy?:cry:

Everybody grieves at their own pace. Some don't grieve much when it happens but then at some unexpected time it all comes out. It's normal. Keep talking to him. I am sure somehow, somewhere, he is listening and saying "night mom" back.

Will it ever get easier? Or am I just crazy?:cry:

Easier ? I guess , but you will never gofget about him and shouldn't anyway.

I adopted my second golden at the SPCA when she was 8 yr old. 2 1/2 years later , I lost her to cancer. It's been 2 years now , still think about her , still cry sometimes because I wish she was still here , because I miss her so much (darn , my eyes are all watery now as I'm typing this.) :o

Oh boy, do I ever know how you feel. My cat, Aztec, had a brother named Egypt. A very special goofy boy with the biggest heart and silliest sense of humor. I had to help him cross The Bridge 4 years ago when he was only 11. He had severe IBD which had possibly progressed to lymphoma. I still think about him every single day, sometime with tears, sometimes with smiles. Like Frenchy, your post brought tears today. But I'm okay with that because I think it's also evidence of just how strong and deep the human-animal bond can be, and it's an amazing experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Like Frenchy, your post brought tears today. But I'm okay with that because I think it's also evidence of just how strong and deep the human-animal bond can be, and it's an amazing experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything.


Amen, I wouldn't trade it for anything either. I have loved all the animals that I have been blessed to have in my life, my own and all my fosters, but Benny, well he was exceptional, extra special to me.
Some days are better than others for sure, but some days are just down right painfully hard, when it comes to missing him.

Thanks for the replies of understanding, it is gratefully appreciated.:)

I know Benny is now my guardian :angel2:, always with me, always in my heart.:)