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just shoot me.....

pitgrrl
July 11th, 2008, 01:50 PM
Seriously.

So I get to work yesterday, everything seems normal, the dogs lay down on their beds for a nap and I start in on the days tasks.

Around noon Streets starts to lick his lips a bit too frequently, but I tell myself I'm just being a paranoid crazy and that he's obviously fine. I keep doing work.

An hour later I'm kind of thinking I should eat something when all of a sudden Streets springs out of his bed and starts pacing circles around the whole room, coughing and gagging and spitting up foamy spittle. I still try and keep myself from going coo-coo by rationalizing this totally bizarre behavior with the fact that he spent a good half hour licking the rain off himself that morning and has been know to cough up hair.

Of course, just as I'm thinking all this, a undigested turkey projectile goes flying out of his mouth and lands in a big nasty mess on the floor of the gallery. Then another. And another. And finally one last mass of flying turkey comes out with such force that the poor boy pees himself, something he has not done in the 6 years that I've had him.

So now I'm panicking, trying to get him down 4 flights of stairs he hates, praying that no one comes in and decides they want to buy a photograph but is put off by the hunks of meat on the floor (maybe I can call it an installation?) and trying to convince myself that the dog isn't bloating if he managed to vomit.

Finally we get outside and just as I'm turning a corner some guy, too busy talking on his cell phone to look where he's going, walks right into me, between the two leashes, leaving me basically hugging his legs with my face in his crotch. Awkward. Very, very awkward.

After disentangling myself, convincing Basil that now is not the time to roll in some stinky spot in the grass, watching poop come flying out of Streets without a bag in sight and then carrying him up 4 flights of stairs, I formulate a plan. I will call my friend Laura who works at home and ask her if she can give me a lift. This will require closing up the gallery 4 hours early, but at this point Streets is sitting there panting and I can't tell if his stomach feels bloated or I'm just imagining things, so it seems like the thing to do.

Laura picks up, says she'll come get us........and then remembers her car is in the shop. "Not a problem" she says "it's just a minor thing, I'll just see if I can get it, drive you home and then return it to the mechanic's when we're done, I'll call you in 10 minutes".

I spend the next 10 minutes googling "signs of bloat" which didn't make me feel better at all, while Streets sits there staring at me and continuing to pant. Laura calls back only to inform me that her car does not currently have any wheels on it.

I try to figure out if it would be faster to walk home, or wait for a cab that will take 2 dogs. I decide to walk and remind myself that there is a vet clinic at the half way point between work and my house.

We walk home, it's fine for 2/3 of the way, Streets is sniffing pee and hunting squirrels which I figure he wouldn't be doing if he was on the brink of death. We get to the last leg of the trek, on a busy, super shmancy street full of supermodels, celebrities, and people trying to look like them and the mucous butt explosions start. These are followed by Streets sort of walking while staying in a crouched up poop position, which inevitably makes anyone who wasn't already watching me try to pick up slime with a plastic bag stare. Luckily I have no dignity, otherwise that might have been a bit embarrassing.

We finally get home and Streets is back to his normal self, jumping around, trying to get me to play tug and wondering where his dinner is. I, on the other hand, have not eaten anything, have had 65 heart attacks, panic attacks and I'm-about-to-cry-but-I'm-in-public attacks, and would love to crawl into a dog crate, lock the door and go to sleep.

But instead I go clean out my bank account on plain chicken for dinner and supplement experiment #3,678, make the dogs their dinner and then watch them nap on the couch.

Good times.

hazelrunpack
July 11th, 2008, 01:58 PM
:grouphug:

Some days just go better than others. I hope today is going better than yesterday! :eek: :goodvibes:

How is Streets today? :fingerscr

Ah...the joys of pet ownership! :rolleyes: :o

rainbow
July 11th, 2008, 02:01 PM
Pitgrrl, you always manage to turn your adventures with Basil and Streets into something humourous and this one was hilarious. :laughing:

You do need a hug for your bad day though :grouphug: and I hope that Streets is fine now. :fingerscr :goodvibes:

Btw, was the guy that bumped into you good looking? :D

Chaser
July 11th, 2008, 02:03 PM
I'm sorry you had such a horrific day :sad: Glad he seems to be feeling better. :grouphug:

I have to tell you though....you are the BEST storyteller.....you should start a blog on dog ownership or write the next "Marley and Me". :laughing:

pitgrrl
July 11th, 2008, 02:07 PM
Streets seems fine, besides the hair gel like substance he keeps producing out his back end. That's almost routine around here though, so it's nothing to get hysterical over (or that's what I like to tell myself as I get hysterical). Hopefully the latest adventure in nutraceuticals and staying away from turkey will help the situation.

The guy, at least his lower half which is all I really got to see, was not attractive, or maybe I'm just not a fan of khaki shorts and black socks pulled all the way up. At least he smelled clean though....:shrug:

.....you should start a blog on dog ownership or write the next "Marley and Me". :laughing:

Ya know, when I read Marley & Me all I kept thinking was "what the h*ll dude, your dog sounds like a walk in the freakin' park, stop complaining" LOL

rainbow
July 11th, 2008, 02:16 PM
The guy, at least his lower half which is all I really got to see, was not attractive, or maybe I'm just not a fan of khaki shorts and black socks pulled all the way up. At least he smelled clean though....:shrug:


WOO HOO for the clean smelling crotch. :laughing:

I'm glad Street's is okay. :goodvibes:

And, I also agree you should start writing a book. :thumbs up

luckypenny
July 11th, 2008, 02:22 PM
:laugh: Omg, I'm dying here...wait...I have to wipe my tears....:laughing:

Oh boy, I'm so sorry I'm laughing at your, and Streets', expense. I just love your sense of humor, Pitgrrl. Why cry when you can laugh, right?

Seriously, I'm glad Streets is better today. Give him a big hug for me, k? Just don't squeeze too hard.

Dog Dancer
July 11th, 2008, 02:26 PM
Well good to hear that Streets seems okay now. But why don't you have bags in every article of clothing you own?? Seems I can reach into any pocket I own and pull out a poop bag. Why couldn't it be money????

hazelrunpack
July 11th, 2008, 02:30 PM
Streets seems fine, besides the hair gel like substance he keeps producing out his back end. That's almost routine around here though, so it's nothing to get hysterical over (or that's what I like to tell myself as I get hysterical). Hopefully the latest adventure in nutraceuticals and staying away from turkey will help the situation.

Well THAT's a relief anyway... :o

The guy, at least his lower half which is all I really got to see, was not attractive, or maybe I'm just not a fan of khaki shorts and black socks pulled all the way up. At least he smelled clean though....:shrug:


Mmmmmm, I'm sorry...but :laugh:

:o

Okay, I'm done.

:grouphug:

:D :o

ancientgirl
July 11th, 2008, 02:36 PM
Yikes, poor Streets! I'm glad he's feeling better but oy, I don't envy the clean up you had to do back at the gallery. :yuck:

And hey, you've been closer to a crotch than I've been in almost 5 years. The day wasn't that bad.:laughing:

pitgrrl
July 11th, 2008, 02:40 PM
Seriously, you should all laugh away, it's the only thing that stops me from going totally and utterly mad some days. :laughing:

Give him a big hug for me, k? Just don't squeeze too hard.

......because I swear it might be like squeezing a tube of toothpaste in his current state. :yuck:

Well good to hear that Streets seems okay now. But why don't you have bags in every article of clothing you own?? Seems I can reach into any pocket I own and pull out a poop bag. Why couldn't it be money????

Oh, I have a good answer for this one. I didn't have a bag on me because when I ran into the man's crotch everything fell out of my pockets upon impact and by the time I got to the grassy area the bags were gone.

And you don't have any money because you have animals, it's that simple really.

rainbow
July 11th, 2008, 02:46 PM
Oh, I have a good answer for this one. I didn't have a bag on me because when I ran into the man's crotch everything fell out of my pockets upon impact and by the time I got to the grassy area the bags were gone.


And, Mr. Crotch wasn't nice enough to help you pick them up? :D

TeriM
July 11th, 2008, 02:59 PM
:laughing::laughing::laughing:

Always an adventure when you have animals :rolleyes: :D.

Chaser
July 11th, 2008, 03:03 PM
And you don't have any money because you have animals, it's that simple really.

:laughing: I hate how true that is!

TacoGrl
July 11th, 2008, 03:19 PM
Btw, was the guy that bumped into you good looking? :D


Was he single? :D


Days like that make you appreciate the good days! A :2huggers: for you. :)

rainbow
July 11th, 2008, 03:23 PM
Was he single? :D


From pitgrrl's description he probably was .....

The guy, at least his lower half which is all I really got to see, was not attractive, or maybe I'm just not a fan of khaki shorts and black socks pulled all the way up. At least he smelled clean though....

:laughing:

pitgrrl
July 11th, 2008, 03:26 PM
Rainbow, you're too funny. :laughing:

rainbow
July 11th, 2008, 03:33 PM
But you are hilarious and really should consider writing a book. ;)

Frenchy
July 11th, 2008, 09:13 PM
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/1.gif

omg ! This could only happen to you :laughing: I wanted to quote you but there was too many funny things :laugh: when is your next day off ? Because I have a favor to ask you .... could you recreate this and have a friend film it ? :laughing:

Is Streets ok now ? :o

clm
July 11th, 2008, 10:57 PM
:laughing: Next time I'm thinking I'm having a bad day, I'll go back and read this post. May not make the day improve, but it'll give me a chuckle at least. :laughing: I'm glad your dog is fine though.

Cindy

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 12:52 AM
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/1.gif

omg ! This could only happen to you :laughing: I wanted to quote you but there was too many funny things :laugh: when is your next day off ? Because I have a favor to ask you .... could you recreate this and have a friend film it ? :laughing:


Yep, pitgrrl, you really have to write a book about all your adventures with Basil & Streets :thumbs up ......then I bet someone would buy the rights to make a movie. :thumbs up

And then you'd be rich and I want royalties. :D

growler~GateKeeper
July 12th, 2008, 01:16 AM
awww Pitgrrl :grouphug: the stuff you & those boys go through

I'm glad you've got a sense of humor about it & I hope you find something they can eat without all this drama

pitgrrl
July 12th, 2008, 07:59 AM
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/1.gif

omg ! This could only happen to you :laughing: I wanted to quote you but there was too many funny things :laugh: when is your next day off ? Because I have a favor to ask you .... could you recreate this and have a friend film it ? :laughing:

Is Streets ok now ? :o

That would take some serious special effects. I'm just not sure how to re-create flying turkey. I could just film all the horrified, panicked, traumatized facial expressions I was making......and maybe the crotch hugging scene :laughing:

Streets is totally fine. That's the thing, he has these completely terrifying episodes and then seems fine a few hours later. :shrug:

Now if I could just figure out why he was fine eating turkey for years, and then bam!, all of a sudden turkey is evil.

Yep, pitgrrl, you really have to write a book about all your adventures with Basil & Streets :thumbs up ......then I bet someone would buy the rights to make a movie. :thumbs up

And then you'd be rich and I want royalties. :D

You got rich Hollywood friends rainbow? Hook me up, I'm not greedy, I'll share my royalties.

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 11:51 AM
You got rich Hollywood friends rainbow? Hook me up, I'm not greedy, I'll share my royalties.


LOL.....I don't have ANY rich friends, that's why I was hoping to cash in on your book writing/movie skills. :D

I'm really glad Streets has fully recuperated from his ordeal. :goodvibes: And, I hope you've recuperated enough so you're ready for the next adventure. :laughing:

About the turkey.....did he perhaps eat too much of it since it is known to cause diarrhea. Or could it have been a bit tainted? :shrug:

pitgrrl
July 12th, 2008, 12:10 PM
About the turkey.....did he perhaps eat too much of it since it is known to cause diarrhea. Or could it have been a bit tainted? :shrug:

I'm not even 100% sure it's the turkey. Basically he's been having gross poop on and off for the last month or more. I thought maybe it was the digestive enzyme causing problems, because when I stopped using it his stool got way, way better for about a week, but coincidently I think I only fed duck and chicken during that time as well.

A few days ago I pulled some turkey out of the freezer (parts of a bird he'd eaten without problems a while back), fed a tiny piece the night before the puking, then more for breakfast the day of the puking....and then he got sick and has had yucky poop since.

So this led me to try and remember if, over the past month, the poop problems have coincided with feeding turkey, but I can't remember for sure since it's a pretty regularly fed meat at our house and has been for a year.

So I don't know really, maybe it's coincidence, maybe he suddenly can't tolerate turkey, maybe it's something else entirely or maybe it's just his body going through something. I'm not feeding anymore turkey for a while though, so we'll see how that goes. :shrug:

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 12:28 PM
I have no answers....only sympathy for you and your boys. :grouphug:

But I think you should wear your camera around your neck at all times so we can all share the visual effects of your adventures. :D

Frenchy
July 12th, 2008, 02:35 PM
That would take some serious special effects. I'm just not sure how to re-create flying turkey. I could just film all the horrified, panicked, traumatized facial expressions I was making......and maybe the crotch hugging scene :laughing:



So now we have to figure out who will play the crotch man :laughing:

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 02:41 PM
So now we have to figure out who will play the crotch man :laughing:

WOO HOO.....now we get to pick a better looking one than last time. :D

pitgrrl
July 12th, 2008, 02:49 PM
Here's the problem, I could enlist the help of someone I know, but that might be a bit awkward. I mean, where does your friendship go after you've hugged someone's crotch?

Alternatively I could ask a random stranger, but what if they turn out to be less than regular about their personal hygiene? And what do I say after we've acted out the scene, "good job cowboy! see ya later?" "can I buy you a drink?", like what is the etiquette for that situation?

Maybe that's what I need to write A Modern Gal's Guide To Etiquette: how to be graceful in every situation, from picking up mucous poo in public to hugging a stranger's crotch. It would be a best seller, I can see it now.........

Frenchy
July 12th, 2008, 02:56 PM
hummm , ok, so we would have to find an actress to play you then. :thumbs up

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 02:57 PM
Wouldn't your bf be willing to play Mr. Crotch? :D

Frenchy
July 12th, 2008, 02:59 PM
Wouldn't your bf be willing to play Mr. Crotch? :D

:laughing: Sex In the City has a Mr. Big , Pitgrrl will have a Mr. Crotch :laughing:

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 02:59 PM
Oh, and I think your book title is too long......I would just call it "Adventures with Basil & Streets". :D

Chris21711
July 12th, 2008, 05:57 PM
So happy to hear that Streets is OK.

Aside from that my God, that is friggin' hilarious. You hafta do a book, you had me in stitches a couple of weeks ago on your way to work.

pitgrrl
July 12th, 2008, 06:14 PM
You guys better stop telling me I'm funny, you're going to give me a giant ego and then I'm going to start to fancy myself a "writer". I'll be spotted prancing around coffee shops, laptop in tow, talking endlessly about how I'm working on my novel, wearing a lot of dramatic scarves and smoking clove cigarettes.

But don't worry, I won't forget about all you little people here at pets.ca, I'll even mention you when I go on Oprah..........:laughing:

Okay, more realistically, you'll just encourage me to post more about my absurd life and then you'll all realize just how nuts I actually am.

Oh and guess what Mr. Streets decided to do today? Lick some gross chick fat like goo on the sidewalk. I've never been so tempted to wash a dog's mouth out with soap in my life.

Chris21711
July 12th, 2008, 06:27 PM
You guys better stop telling me I'm funny, you're going to give me a giant ego and then I'm going to start to fancy myself a "writer". I'll be spotted prancing around coffee shops, laptop in tow, talking endlessly about how I'm working on my novel, wearing a lot of dramatic scarves and smoking clove cigarettes.

What's up wid dat. Clove cigarettes :yuck: Oh, and you are funny and you should consider it, really.

But don't worry, I won't forget about all you little people here at pets.ca, I'll even mention you when I go on Oprah..........:laughing:

How did you know I was little :laughing:
Okay, more realistically, you'll just encourage me to post more about my absurd life and then you'll all realize just how nuts I actually am.

I like Nuts :D

Oh and guess what Mr. Streets decided to do today? Lick some gross chick fat like goo on the sidewalk. I've never been so tempted to wash a dog's mouth out with soap in my life.

I guess he thought it was yummy. Or maybe he wanted a re-occurance for old times sake :laughing:

rainbow
July 12th, 2008, 06:40 PM
Remember a couple of weeks ago when you were soooo bored at work and the boys were sleeping and wouldn't entertain you? :D

Well if you had have started the book then you would have it half written by now. :D

And, I want the first autographed copy. :fingerscr