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Email recieved

July 7th, 2004, 02:21 PM
Rules for Non-Pet Owners who visit & like to complain about our pets.

1.They live here.You don't
2.If you don't want their hair on your clothes,stay off the furniture.
3.I like my pet a lot better than i like most people
4.To you,it's an animal.To me he/she is an adopted child who is short,hairy,walks on all fours & doesn't speak clearly.


July 7th, 2004, 04:20 PM
That is great we will be posting that on our door. We will be changing the last line to tall hairy and droolly, walks on all fours and doesn't speak very clearly. My boy is an English Mastiff I think he would be insulted if I called him short

July 8th, 2004, 01:24 PM
Hi Mass..yes it's tongue- in- cheek humour but it gets the point across.
We put it in our entrance-way..only because one of my husband's friends married a really nasty lady..she hates/dogs,cats,kids...ect ect
Of course i mention to the kids that they should stand really close to her and ask lots of questions!!!Just kidding.
They only drop in 1x per year in the summer and that is more than 1x too many.
Maybe i can borrow the neighbors 2 dogs next time Rolly

July 8th, 2004, 03:16 PM
Hi Rolly and's another one. There are pretty cute. Have a great day! :p
I thought all you dog oriented people may enjoy this.

Subject: A Dog Lives Here

Notice to People Who Visit Our Home

1. The dog lives here. You don't.

2. If you don't want the dog to be near you,
stay off the furniture.

3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So
do I and so do you. What's your point?

4. OF COURSE he smells like a dog.

5. It's his nature to try to sniff your crotch.
Please feel free to sniff his.

6. I like him a lot better than I like most people.

7. To you he's a dog. To me he's an adopted
son who is short, hairy, walks on all fours
and doesn't speak clearly. I have no problem
with any of these things.

8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't
ask for money all the time, are easier to train,
usually come when called, never drive your car,
don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't
smoke or drink, don't worry about whether
they have the latest fashions, don't wear your
clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for university,
and if they get pregnant you can sell the pups.

July 8th, 2004, 03:57 PM
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 8th, 2004, 04:28 PM
super!!! I'll use yours instead.

July 8th, 2004, 05:16 PM
I hear printers everywhere whirring! :D

July 8th, 2004, 05:32 PM
in the past i had a few housemates. i have a rule that i pay two thirds of the rent, for me and the dog and the house mate one third. that way she is a paying member of the household and gets the same respect as the rest of the humans and i demand taht she is treated as epual. has worked well in the past.
will print that up and post it at the door, great rules. read them out to my 9yo nephew and he cracked up, very cute. :D

July 9th, 2004, 10:20 AM
Here's a notice for our furry friends..

Dear Dogs & Cats,
When i say to move,it means go someplace else,not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours & contain your food.Please note,placing your paw in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR & is not a racetrack..beating me to the bottom is not the object.

My compact discs are not miniature frisbees.

I can't buy anything bigger than a king size bed.I'm sorry.I won't sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.Look at pictures of dogs & cats..they can actually curl up in a ball.It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails and tongues straight out is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time,there is no secret exit from the bathroom.If by some miracle i beat you there & manage to get the door shut,it is not necessary to claw,whine,try to turn the knob,or get your paw under the edge to try to open the door.I must exit through the same door i entered.
In addition,I have been using the bathroom for years and canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

Love Your owner

July 9th, 2004, 10:30 AM
Thanks! What a great start to my morning! :D :D :D