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Help, I really need it...

April 16th, 2008, 09:30 PM
Everyone knows I started dating this amazing guy over a month ago, Well things are terrific, he is an absolute dream.
I have a huge issue though, not small but huge.
He has 2 daughters, 5 and 7. His 5 year old just had allergy tests done, because every time she comes over she has a full blown asthma attack.
It is the cats, dogs are fine....
What can I do....I do not want this to put a stop in a great blooming relationship, nor do I want his daughter in the hospital.
Other than shave the cats, what other options are out there.
We both want to know, because you never know what this relationship may lead...
Please help.

April 16th, 2008, 09:57 PM
Oh, boy, this is a tough one, Rottielover. Before the little one comes over, lock the cats in your bedroom and don't let them out! Vacuum everywhere, open the window and wash the floors. This might help for now until you see what the future holds for you and your man. If things do get more serious, you might have to think about rehoming your cats; I really hate to say this but asthma in a little girl could be serious.
By the way, some of our clients say that shaving does help with their allergies but I am not sure if it would help you alot in this case.

April 16th, 2008, 11:18 PM
Long term I think the only solution to keeping cats around is to have the girl take allergy shots. I don't think even cleaning well and locking the cats up will change much.

Guess you have a big decision to make.

April 16th, 2008, 11:36 PM
Get the beau some reading material about allergy and asthma control for his daughter.

April 17th, 2008, 03:24 AM
I would also put the cats in the bedroom when he brings his girls over until you see how serious your relationship with him gets.

April 17th, 2008, 05:20 AM
Hey Rottie, I am deathly allergic to cats, and anything can be treated. Yes put the cats in another room. When you mop the floors add a tiny bit of bleach to the water( it kills the protein the licking creates) then remop with clean water. Febreeze carries a spray now with pet allergy stuff in it, spray the furniture. As for the little girl, most children outgrow asthma where as if she got it later in life she's stuck with it. Shoppers drugmart carries a very mild antihistamine(4mg) get dad to talk to his doctor about it, allergy shots are a good idea for her whether things go long term or not. She needs to start to build up an immunity to the cats. Goodluck. OH so you know it works, my sister is also allergic to cats, she owns 2 of them.:D

April 17th, 2008, 05:39 AM
The only problem is, not only allergies, asthma. We are starting to read up, and it does not look good.
I can not rehome the cats, My god, Kayla would be devastated. But I do not know what to do.
I will shave the cats as a start, I will lock them up, mop and stuff, maybe we can build her up slowly.
As for real drugs allergy shots, the mother will not allow this girl to go through all that, as well as He does not want to just associate horrible time = daddy...We have a real dilema

April 17th, 2008, 05:54 AM
I honestly don't think shaving the cats will make any difference. It's not the fur, it's the dander and their saliva that cause the problems.

She might verywell outgrow it, but I would avoid having her to your house period. Chances are good she's going to outgrow it, so you may need to have her visits somewhere else where there are no cats until she does.


April 17th, 2008, 06:02 AM
The only problem is, not only allergies, asthma. We are starting to read up, and it does not look good.
I can not rehome the cats, My god, Kayla would be devastated. But I do not know what to do.
I will shave the cats as a start, I will lock them up, mop and stuff, maybe we can build her up slowly.
As for real drugs allergy shots, the mother will not allow this girl to go through all that, as well as He does not want to just associate horrible time = daddy...We have a real dilema

Well mommy isn't thinking of her daughters best interests, and i can understand how dad feels..Don't shave the cats it REALLY won't help. as clm says its not the hair its the dander. There are products you can use on the cats that will help. K i will explain so you can tell her parents, the cat produces a protein, that when mixed with their saliva causes the allergic reaction, the allergic reaction triggers the asthma. Is she on anyform of inhaler : ie ventolin or a steroid(advair). Her mother not helping her build up immunities is not helping her its hurting her. Its like giving them TB,polio, etc shots.

April 17th, 2008, 06:09 AM
She is on ventilin, but she also has a mask type, I do not remember the name.
I want to figure something out, maybe slowly introduce, because this may lead to something serious, who knows.

April 17th, 2008, 06:13 AM
well best you can do on your end is reduce the amount of allergens in the house. Go to your local pet supplier and see what allergy products they have for cats. And clean thoroughly right before she comes over. It should help somewhat. I think dad needs to sit and discuss with mom, some form of antihistamine. As for her asthma, if she starts to react, take her outside for fresh air and keep her distracted, talking reading,etc. Part of the attack is panic. aaaa i can't breath, lungs constrict, etc.

April 17th, 2008, 06:28 AM
Rottielover,first I am glad you've met a wonderful guy:thumbs up
I take it he's divorced,the girl is not living with him,or does he have custody?
How about when he has the little girl,you meet at his place or in a park or something,if she is not always with him.Rehoming those poor kitties would be totally unfair to Kayla IMO and the kitties.
If down the road your relationship turns out to be a permanent one,you can figure something out,without even considering giving up the kitties:cat::cat:

April 17th, 2008, 06:52 AM
He is not asking me to rid of the kitties, Kayla would be devastated if something happened to tigger, Mickey on the other hand...LOL
Mickey is the one with the most dander because of his fur. He has woolie type fur that seems always dry no matter what I do.
Now things can be arranged, we were talking about down the road.
I need to prepare because it is a Huge possibility.. Kayla loves him, Everyone gets along great

April 17th, 2008, 07:29 AM
Rottie, its still too early to think of giving away the often do you see his daughters?

Vacumn vacumn vacumn, open the windows..wash the blankets and stuff the cats may have slept on. Lock the cats in your room, get an air filter

It's getting nice outside, don't invite her in for things outside so you don't have to worry about asthma.

Take it one step at a time, speak to the doctor to see what he recommends. Tell him giving away the cats is the last step maybe he has some ideas.

April 17th, 2008, 07:34 AM
As I was saying he is not asking me to get rid of the cats. He has his daughters every second weekend, and mon-friday for 3 hours for homework.
He would not dream to ask about ridding the cats.
What we are both doing is research on if things can work between cats and children with allergies/asthma.
I am starting all this now so if we decide to take the next step, it will be possible. :)

April 17th, 2008, 07:41 AM
I have asthma, and I'm allergic to cats. We always had anywhere from 2 to 4 cats when I was growing up. You DO get adjusted to it, but his daughter just may not spend enough time around them for her system to get used to it. Since I moved out years ago I've found my tolerance has decreased, so now, when I visit my mom (she still always has at least 2 cats!) I just pop a cold medicine pill... I find they work a bit better than the allergy pills for me. Nothing special, just an over-the-counter cold pill. If I take it before we go to her house it doesn't bother me, I don't even bring an inhaler. If I don't though, it's too late to take one later - it works fine as a preventative, but isn't strong enough to stop an asthma attack when it hits.

April 17th, 2008, 09:15 AM
I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but I agree with those who say rehoming the kitties isn't the answer.

If he only has his kids for a few hours a week, or maybe over night, then you can do some things to make her time there a little more bearable.

I know there are a few things I've seen, sprays, that are natural and help neutralize the effect of the dander and saliva. You spray the cat and let it get on their skin. It helps with allergies and I'm thinking with asthma. It's also not harmful to your kitty.

I have something at home also which works the same way.

I bath my gang once a month, brush them often, vacuum and take medication.

Maybe if you bathed your guys before she comes over it will help.

April 17th, 2008, 10:10 AM
Guys she said she isnt going to rehome the cats :)

rottielover, my brother and I have the same reaction to cats, especially long hair ones (bunduk who looks like ure kitty ;)) and both of us have had trips to the ER for emergency mask treatments before we learned how to deal with it.

Things that helped:
1) Hepa air filter

2) Allergy meds/prescribed inhalers (i know the mother doesnt want this)

3) Time- I will have a major attack with my brother's cats and he will have a major attack with mine. I am sure after my holiday in egypt I will be a mess when back with my kitties.

4) Solutions you buy from the petstore that you rub on their fur to decrease allergens

5) Brushing the cats outside every day (my brother's wife does this..not me)...she just brushes their cat on the balcony every day.

6) Honey is a natural reliever of asthma. Both my brother and myself will drink hot water (the steam helps to clear it too) with honey on bad days. It really helps for us. Gives us temporary relief for sure.

7) Vaccuum vaccum vaccuum.

8) if she sleeps over ever (long term) changing the sheets every day. No cats in that room.

April 17th, 2008, 10:25 AM
My husband has really bad allergies to cat and you have been given really good advice. Here are some things that really are the most important to help my DH:

Keep the house vacuumed and dusted (we have a central vac which is vented in the basement utility room).
Keep windows open when possible
He finds that he gets used to a cat after having exposure for about 6 months and his allergies fade for that cat. We now have 3 and he doesn't take any allergy pills for them.

The mother is not reasonable in her request. Having asthma can be life threatening and she can't protect this child from all cats, she is bound to have friends that have cats and should have a puffer on her person at all times or close access to it.

As for allergy shots, they work for some and not for others. My husband was much worse with them and went through 2 years of suffering. When he quit, his allergy symptoms got better. Think the mother should at least give them a shot. Sounds like she doesn't want to cooperate.

Good luck! :grouphug:

April 17th, 2008, 10:27 AM
I was diagnosed officially with asthma and allergies just before my 2nd birthday, and let me tell you honestly, the worst thing the doctors and my parents ever did was make me live in a bubble! No pets, a house cleaned like a hospital, very little physical activity.... etc. By having no pets, I missed out on so much... and when I finally did get a cat it took me so much longer to build up a tolerance. The overly cleaned house made for a lot of my now OCD issues, especially dealing with clean and really who wants a sterile home over a warm and inviting home anyway. And the physical activity was worst of all, I became lazy and overweight which just made my asthma and allergies worse. If I had been active and healthy all that time, I might have out grown both!

And definitely get them to talk to the doctor about preventative asthma therapies like advair.... ventolin is a rescue inhaler, not meant to prevent the attacks.

She was just diagnosed with all this, and your relationship is so early on, you have plenty of time to figure things out, or not. So for now, relax, it's his problem not yours. No need to traumatize your daughter or cats (and if she caught wind of your concerns, she could end up resenting him and his kids which would really hurt the relationship). And as everyone said shaving them does nothing.... it's in their spit not their fur.

April 21st, 2008, 07:26 PM
Oh wow, what a dilemma!
The first that comes to mind is do you have to go to your place? Can't you hang out in his place exclusively when the kids are around?

Also, HEPA filter would be a great investment, vaccuming, bathing the cats regularly can help to keep the dander levels down, there are products sold that help keep the dander levels low on pets.

As for the mother, she doesn't want to help the relationship of her ex-husband and the shots are a nice idea but I doubt she would go for it. Unless you convince her to get them the shots for all of the child's allergies...this might take some time, but getting the doctor in on it as well might help convince the mom.
Good luck and god bless!

Ford Girl
April 22nd, 2008, 12:11 PM
Not sure if anyone suggested this, but make sure to change the filter on your furnice...if you have one...ours does, and DH gets all stuffed up from the cat too, so besides vaccuuming, Fabreeseing with allergy formula (works well), we have the furnice and air vent system cleaned every spring, change the filter more often then usual, and I clean my window coverings once a month. Lots of work, but it helps. We have 2 friends allergic too, I do my big clean routine beofre they come over, plus remove the cats, and use a high quality vaccuum.

Have you looked in to an air purifying unit? They make tall sleek stand alone units that reduce allergins and remove toxins almost completely.

Keep us posted - on the cats and the relationship!! ;) ;)