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A hard decision made, but I think the best

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 08:42 AM
As I was leaving this morning to come to work, I saw Miguel the maintenence man where I live. He always asks me about Czarina and how she's doing. I told him it's been difficult and that at this point I don't know if she will really be happy living with me and the others. I told him I was going to find her a home, because I didn't want her to be tossed away again.

He asked me that if I was going to do that, to please bring her back to him. He misses her and he misses coming in and not seeing her every morning.

He's been taking care of her all these years since she's been there. She's been healthy and fed and I think ultimately she was much happier having the outdoors to herself instead of being stuck in some small space indoors.

I fought my concience and I think this might be best for now. Even though she will not be indoors, she will be safe. I live in a gated community. And Miguel said in the entire time he's been working there, she's never gone missing. There are 4 other cats in the complex, and they stick to their area. The danger of being hit by a car is minimal, not only because of the speed limit, but I've rarely seen the cats or Czarina anywhere other than the grassy areas. All dogs that are walked are on leashes, so she's safe from attacks.

I can still see her daily and I can still feed her on the weekends. I told Miguel I'll keep her insured and still take her to the vet if she ever needs medical treatment. She'll get her monthly Revolution just like my others.

I cried all the way to work. I'm still crying. I wanted so badly to make her mine and give her a good home. But I don't think she's happy. And I don't think my resident cats are happy.

I now Miguel will take care of her and keep her company while I'm at work. He and Rene watch over her and they allow her access to their office, so she's not outside all the time.

If I am lucky enough to someday be able to have a small house with more room than I have now, I will take her with me. If I had an extra bedroom, this could have worked. But as it is now, I don't have anywhere to give her enough space and keep her separated from the others.

At least she's not alone anymore and she will always have someone to take care of her. It doesn't hurt any less though.:sad:

Winston
January 14th, 2008, 08:56 AM
I am sorry you have come to this decision..It must hurt because I know you have tried..but honestly I think you are worrying about how everyone feels too much! not that you shouldnt worry but things always seem to work out just some things take more time...I hope you wont be angry for me saying this but I still think she is better indoors! in the safety of your home.. but you have to do what you have to do!

Cindy

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 09:10 AM
I would rather have her inside with me as well. But I can't trust any of them alone loose in the house. And I can't have her shut in that small space for the next several weeks or months or however long it takes for her to get used to being there. I can't do that to her.

She went from roaming free anywhere she wanted, to being placed in a half bath with a small hallway next to it. I can't imagine she's very happy.

My head is spinning with doing the right thing or the wrong thing. I feel like I don't know which way to turn. And right now my emotions are on edge. I've been crying all morning, and my boss is coming in shortly. I can't let him see I've been crying because he'll ask me what's wrong then I know I'll start crying again.

I already feel I've failed her and I'm kicking myself for it.

breeze
January 14th, 2008, 09:22 AM
can I put my :2cents: in????

I think you should take comfort in that fact someone WILL be taking care of her.. She is not alone, she is in your complex. she is going to be fed and when she is cold she WILL have access to the indoors..she IS fixed so you know that there will not be any more litters for her..

when you or your other kitties are on edge she will feel it also, if you are under stress she will also.. IMO cats need a stress free enviorment to thrive..

this is the best for her you and your other kitties IMO..

:2cents::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 09:31 AM
She does have people taking care of her. I know Miguel and Rene really care for her. And when I take her down, I'll make sure she sees where she's going so that she knows where I live. Hopefully she will feel free to come to my place if the weather gets bad one day and she fill be comfortable enough to have her little spot back.

I know she's been stressed, and I know at least Vlad and Oksana have both been stressed as they haven't been acting themselves since she's been there.

14+kitties
January 14th, 2008, 09:41 AM
Can I put in my :2cents: as well?
If Miguel is saying she is allowed access to the office why not make her an office cat? She could have a little bed and litter box in there. She would probably love it. I would imagine it isn't all that big but she would still be in a spot where she is safe, he obviously loves her and looks after her, and it seems the perfect solution. I can't see the owners of the complex being too upset with it either. They allow cats in apartments so why not in the maintenance office. If they are, too bad.

Oh, and ancient.............BIG HUGS TO YOU!

breeze
January 14th, 2008, 09:44 AM
Until you can see for yourself that she is truly happy being with Miguel and Rene taking care of her, you will feel sad and bothered inside. Until you can be with your kitties and see if they are happier, you will be bothered in side..

you have to do what is best for your kitties and her, and yourself.. You did not fail IMO, you tried, you did your best somethings are just not meant to be..:grouphug: If you did not try then I would say you failed, but you DID try, and thats all anyone can ask....:grouphug::grouphug:

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 09:47 AM
Can I put in my :2cents: as well?
If Miguel is saying she is allowed access to the office why not make her an office cat? She could have a little bed and litter box in there. She would probably love it. I would imagine it isn't all that big but she would still be in a spot where she is safe, he obviously loves her and looks after her, and it seems the perfect solution. I can't see the owners of the complex being too upset with it either. They allow cats in apartments so why not in the maintenance office. If they are, too bad.

The manager of the office won't allow it, but go figure, he's got his own cat in there. But she does go inside Miguel and Rene's office, and she does cuddle on their laps, so I'm happy in knowing she gets that kindness from them. I'm also going to take down the little pyramid bed he's been sleeping in. At least she can go in there now and then to take a nap.

Winston
January 14th, 2008, 09:51 AM
Ancientgirl at the end of the day does she have to leave their office or can that be her new home?

Cindy

14+kitties
January 14th, 2008, 09:51 AM
The manager of the office won't allow it, but go figure, he's got his own cat in there. But she does go inside Miguel and Rene's office, and she does cuddle on their laps, so I'm happy in knowing she gets that kindness from them. I'm also going to take down the little pyramid bed he's been sleeping in. At least she can go in there now and then to take a nap.

OH PHOOHEY! How often does the manager come around? Hide the bloody litter box for crying out loud! And food dishes are pretty easy to put outside the door if they see him coming. If you are taking the bed down she has been using it will be seen. I don't want you to be sneaky but grrrrrrrrrr. :rolleyes:

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 09:51 AM
Until you can see for yourself that she is truly happy being with Miguel and Rene taking care of her, you will feel sad and bothered inside. Until you can be with your kitties and see if they are happier, you will be bothered in side..

you have to do what is best for your kitties and her, and yourself.. You did not fail IMO, you tried, you did your best somethings are just not meant to be..:grouphug: If you did not try then I would say you failed, but you DID try, and thats all anyone can ask....:grouphug::grouphug:

I know once I see her with Miguel and Rene I won't feel so bad. In a way I took their cat. They were taking care of her all this time, and when Miguel told me he missed her I felt bad. I wish things would have turned out differently, but I think in the long run, everyone will be happier.

Thank you for your support.

Thank you everyone for your support.

14+kitties
January 14th, 2008, 09:55 AM
Ok, buck up! No more crying. Get to work!! :p
Miguel is going to love having her back, she has access to indoors, you are going to be happy still seeing her, she will be happy still seeing you, cars are a very minimal problem, she doesn't fight with the other cats out there and you don't live in a cold area! ALL GOOD!!
I don't know, maybe I am simplifying things here but it seems to me to be not that bad of a choice. :lovestruck: Miguel

breeze
January 14th, 2008, 10:07 AM
In a way I took their cat. They were taking care of her all this time, and when Miguel told me he missed her

you see you already know in your heart you made the right choice....

give the man back his cat girl lol lol lol lol lol

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:10 AM
No, there's not much cold here. There is a cold spell coming, but I'm keeping her with me for the rest of the week, since I'm taking her in for the Junior Wellness exam I had scheduled for her in February. They will take blood samples and it's all preventive lab work, so I'll know for sure how healthy she is. Then I'll give her back to Miguel. He really is a sweet old man. And so is Rene. They truly love animals. Rene just came from Cuba not long ago, and he paid extra money to be able to bring his dog with him. So I know they would be kind to her.

And I still will be able to see her. That was one of the things that I was really feeling bad about. I knew if I found her another home I'd never see her again, but I'll still be able to see her.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:13 AM
you see you already know in your heart you made the right choice....

give the man back his cat girl lol lol lol lol lol

When I told him I was going to find her another home, and he asked me to bring her back to him because he missed her I felt really bad. A couple of weeks ago when I was having a difficult time, he offered to take her back. So looking back, I think he really loves her and wants her to be with him.

If I gave her away to someone else, not only would I miss her, but so would he.

happycats
January 14th, 2008, 10:16 AM
Awwwww please don't feel bad!!! You did your best, but some cats are just meant to be free, and Czarina is one of them.

I completely understand how you feel, below is a picture of "Sally" she was a cat at our trailer park, we tried very hard to find her a new "indoor" home, but she was miserable, and cried all day and night long:sad:.
We had her fixed and set her free again in the trailer park, there is a very nice gentleman who lives there he feeds her and lets her in (only when she want's) she is 13 years old now, still lives there and is still very happy living outdoors, free, like she was meant to be.

Please, you did what was best for her:grouphug:

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:17 AM
Ancientgirl at the end of the day does she have to leave their office or can that be her new home?

Cindy

Unfortunately they can't have her in their office. But, There is an area that is under cover where they told me she used to hang out when it was raining.

I'm keeping her in with me this week, which is supposed to be a cold week. We rarely have cold weather here, but what I'll do is when I see cold weather coming or really bad weather, like hurricane type weather I can bring her in with me. Now that she's been around me for a while, she will probably go with me freely. I don't want her out once we begin getting hurricane type weather, but that's not for several months yet.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:21 AM
Awwwww please don't feel bad!!! You did your best, but some cats are just meant to be free, and Czarina is one of them.

I completely understand how you feel, below is a picture of "Sally" she was a cat at our trailer park, we tried very hard to find her a new "indoor" home, but she was miserable, and cried all day and night long:sad:.
We had her fixed and set her free again in the trailer park, there is a very nice gentleman who lives there he feeds her and lets her in (only when she want's) she is 13 years old now, still lives there and is still very happy living outdoors, free, like she was meant to be.

Please, you did what was best for her:grouphug:

I think you're right. She's been outdoors for a long time and she liked it. It's different with my cats they've only known indoors.

At least I know she's going to be taken care of. And if she comes scratching on my door I'll let her in and set her up like she is now. When I take her down, I'll take her in a way that she will remember where I live, I hope.

Lukka'sma
January 14th, 2008, 10:29 AM
ancientgirl I can assure you that any cold weather you get in Florida is very doable for any cat. I see ferrels all the time when I walk Lukka and our winters are cold, with deep snow to boot. Compare your winters with ours and you get hot, warm and not so warm, that's it. It is far from cold and certainly not near extreme enough to put an animal at risk.
It sounds like this fella is really missing the cat which he believed to be his in one way or another. I hope you allow him and his wife the chance to take her back into their lives and also give this cat back the life it craves. Why wait another week, let her have her life back when you get home from work.

badger
January 14th, 2008, 10:40 AM
ancient girl, there is not a whiff of failure in any of this, you've given her a huge leg-up and it sounds like Miguel and Rene will watch out for her. And you can keep an eye on the situation as well. There is no reason she can't have a perfectly good life. I wish I could say as much about the strays here in Quebec; many die over the winter from cold and hunger, especially the females.

Lack of territory can bring out all kinds of weird behaviour in inside cats - I'm speaking from experience - and it's hard work staying on top of things.

I would put a cosy shelter outside for her - maybe where she goes when it rains - for times when she can't get into the office. Two solid cartons (not too big) nested together, wrapped in plastic, with a blanket or some old sweaters for warmth, would be fine.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:42 AM
ancientgirl I can assure you that any cold weather you get in Florida is very doable for any cat. I see ferrels all the time when I walk Lukka and our winters are cold, with deep snow to boot. Compare your winters with ours and you get hot, warm and not so warm, that's it. It is far from cold and certainly not near extreme enough to put an animal at risk.
It sounds like this fella is really missing the cat which he believed to be his in one way or another. I hope you allow him and his wife the chance to take her back into their lives and also give this cat back the life it craves. Why wait another week, let her have her life back when you get home from work.

I was going to give her back tomorrow, but I have her scheduled for a wellness exam at the vet's office on Saturday. It's a more thorough exam than the original one she had, and if she has any issues such as kidney disease or tumors or cancer these tests will show it. I just want to make sure she's as healthy as possible before I give her back to him.

Lukka'sma
January 14th, 2008, 10:45 AM
I was going to give her back tomorrow, but I have her scheduled for a wellness exam at the vet's office on Saturday. It's a more thorough exam than the original one she had, and if she has any issues such as kidney disease or tumors or cancer these tests will show it. I just want to make sure she's as healthy as possible before I give her back to him.

Oh, understandable.
This will all work out for the best. As I see it everybody wins

amatazes
January 14th, 2008, 10:49 AM
sounds like the best choice. it's something I bet she prefers.;)

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:51 AM
ancient girl, there is not a whiff of failure in any of this, you've given her a huge leg-up and it sounds like Miguel and Rene will watch out for her. And you can keep an eye on the situation as well. There is no reason she can't have a perfectly good life. I wish I could say as much about the strays here in Quebec; many die over the winter from cold and hunger, especially the females.

Lack of territory can bring out all kinds of weird behaviour in inside cats - I'm speaking from experience - and it's hard work staying on top of things.

I would put a cosy shelter outside for her - maybe where she goes when it rains - for times when she can't get into the office. Two solid cartons (not too big) nested together, wrapped in plastic, with a blanket or some old sweaters for warmth, would be fine.

Yes, mine are already used to being indoors and they do fine with the space I have. She's used to bigger space. No space to run around or get away from the strange kitties.

I'm going to ask Miguel and Rene if there is a spot they can put some shelter for her where it won't be noticed.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 10:54 AM
Oh, understandable.
This will all work out for the best. As I see it everybody wins

I think once I get over the fact she won't be inside with me I'll be okay. At least I'll still be able to see her, if I gave her away to another home, I'd never see her again.

Badger, I hope she will be happy again. I hope she is able to get back to her routine quickly and I know she'll be happy to see Miguel. When he came to visit me over my vacation she almost ran to him.

clm
January 14th, 2008, 11:24 AM
I think it's a good decision. You're still going to be able to see her, and she's going to be able to see her buddies again too. She'll know where to go if she wants to come in.

Cindy

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 11:41 AM
Yes, and I'm giving Miguel my cellular number in case she ever needs any medical help while I'm not there he can call me. I'm even going to give him a card for my vet and talk to my vet and let them know if she is ever taken in by him to treat her and I will take care of the bill.

Hopefully she will stay a healthy girl and never need to be taken in only for her yearly check ups. But I want to make sure she's covered.

Jim Hall
January 14th, 2008, 12:15 PM
That really sounds like a good decsion, you can see her and if she decides to visit your house so be it

There are cats that are just not happy in an inside situation and perfer to be outside with themselves

There is no failure here you gave it a good try.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 12:20 PM
If she's been outside all this time then she's most probably happier there. And there are 3 or 4 other cats out there Miguel said she runs around with, so she has friends.

I think she'll be okay.:cry::)

Frenchy
January 14th, 2008, 12:23 PM
Don't beat yourself up , you did get her spayed and checked out for any health problems :thumbs up

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 12:27 PM
The vet told me she was already spayed, she had the scar. I'm keeping her insured and will instruct Miguel to contact me if anything ever happens to her while I'm not around. I'm also going to give him a card for the vets office and talk to the vet and let them know if he ever takes her there for anything to keep her there and treat her and I will pay for it. I'm also taking her in on Saturday for a comprehensive exam that will be able to tell if she's got diabetes, or cancer or if she has anything. And I'll continue to use Revolution on her monthly, so she can at least be free of fleas and worms.

At least I'll still be able to see her too. And if luck shines on me and I am someday able to get a bigger place, I will take her with me. I think if I had more room this may have worked out better. I could have kept her in a room to herself, where she might have had a better chance of getting used to things and being indoors.

Love4himies
January 14th, 2008, 01:01 PM
Aww, ancientgirl, you did your best and you must do what is best for all.

:grouphug: to you.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 01:27 PM
Thanks. I know I'm going to be crying for days knowing she's not with me, but at least I'll still be able to see her.

aslan
January 14th, 2008, 02:36 PM
Just out of curiosity, do you live in an apartment complex or a mobile home park? If it is the latter, you can always put food out for her and built a little shelter for her on your lot. That way she will always have a warm safe place to go and you will get to see her.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 02:42 PM
I live in an apartment complex. Heck, if I lived on the first floor, I would allow her access to my patio or balcony and she could have a little house set up there. But I'm on the 4th floor as it is.

rjesak
January 14th, 2008, 02:49 PM
It's so hard, but it sounds like you've thought this through - probably too many times then is good for you from the sound of it! :-) You just keep wondering if it's the right decision... It sounds like it is to me. It sounds like Miguel really misses her and will love to have her around again, and you'll be able to visit her whenever you want. Since you're in a gated community, she should probably be relatively safe as well.

Either way, I know how sad you are. I'm sending tons of good vibes your way!

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 02:59 PM
Thank you. I just need to get past this. I've been crying on and off all day. Maybe once I get home I can have a good cry and just get it out of my system.

I just wanted her to feel loved and safe. Maybe she already felt that. Maybe what I've done is disrupted her life only to put her back out there. But when Miguel told me not to give her to anyone, and to bring her back to him, that made me feel good. Because I know he will take care of her too.

rjesak
January 14th, 2008, 03:13 PM
Even if all you did was "disrupt her life", you also made sure she was healthy and, to top it off, you also made sure she was happy. It turned out, perhaps, that she is happiest having the community to roam in, but that just means she'll appreciate being back in the place she knows. It's hard because you tried and you don't feel good about the result, but you SHOULD feel good. You made sure that there are people aside from yourself who will ALSO be looking after her and caring for her, and because of your efforts, will probably be more involved and conscientious than they were before.

After the tears are gone and you take her back out, you'll find her purring and smiling in a sunny spot someday and feel better.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 03:29 PM
I used to find her sitting under some bushes. A few times I saw her with another kitty just walking around. I hope she gets her routine back and is able to socialize again with the other kitties.

At least I do know there are others that miss her and love her. I just need to be happy for her and know she will be happier.

Winston
January 14th, 2008, 05:47 PM
Ancientigirl if you are going to put her back outside then you may want to give her a sprinkle of baby powder before she goes out on her own again..She is going to smell like your kitties and that may make whatever cats are out there smell them on her and that may lead to a fight...it may help her a bit.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 06:08 PM
I'll make sure to do that before I take her to Miguel. Thanks for saying that, because I would have forgotten.

I have to write down some things for him. I have to give him my card and write down my cellular number. I also have to give him the vet's card and I need to talk to the vet and make sure they put in her file that if Miguel ever brings her in to take her and to call me so she can be treated.

I may not be able to keep her inside, but I still want her to have plenty of food and have access to health care if and when she needs it.

t.pettet
January 14th, 2008, 07:58 PM
Did Czarina enjoy living in your apt? No - she was too used to having her freedom so you are returning her to the life she loves and your cats are applauding. You did GREAT so feel happy for her and Miguel.

ancientgirl
January 14th, 2008, 09:03 PM
Did Czarina enjoy living in your apt? No - she was too used to having her freedom so you are returning her to the life she loves and your cats are applauding. You did GREAT so feel happy for her and Miguel.

I don't think she's been happy. She's not grown used to my resident cats and I doubt she ever will have any kind of a good relationship with them. And I think she liked being able to run around. She can't do that here.

At least I'll still be able to see her and I know Miguel will take care of her.