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my very sad holidays

dragon_queen
January 6th, 2008, 11:18 AM
This has been the hardest holiday for me. My father passed away in December. I miss him. He told the worst jokes ever. he was only 65, but lung cancer doesn't care, it took both my aunts too (ages 54 and 70). He was told in October so we had time to say goodbye without him suffering for a long time, but i wish he was still here. the new millenium has been h3ll on my mom. she lost her mom, her 2 sisters and now her husband.
what do you say to people who ask "how was your holiday?" it was sh1t??? i know i can't say that (i just say it was ok and leave it at that) people don't really want an answer when they ask anyway, and then there are the people who ignore you. people i have worked with for years that haven't even said sorry to hear about your father. i'm not looking for a shoulder to cry on, i have that from my family.

lesson: You may not always have the time to say what needs to be said, say it now. even though it has ruined my reputation i have told my siblings that i love them, my mom too.

14+kitties
January 6th, 2008, 11:28 AM
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Frenchy
January 6th, 2008, 12:02 PM
what do you say to people who ask "how was your holiday?" it was sh1t??? i know i can't say that

And why not ? With what you have been through , you can respond whatever you like , you don't have to put up a front ! :grouphug: if people don't like your answer , too bad !!!
I am so sorry about you father. It must be even harder so near the holidays. :sad: I know how you feel , lost my dad to cancer when I was 13 , he was 58. I went back to school anyway but friends didn't know what to say or act around me so I stayed home for a week. :o

I hope you get to see your family often , that they don't live too far from you. And we are here for you too. :grouphug:

Sylvie
January 6th, 2008, 12:22 PM
I understand. :grouphug:

SARAH
January 6th, 2008, 02:31 PM
:grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about your cr@ppy holidays :sad: and yes, you CAN absolutely say they were sh1t, why in the world not? Those who just asked to be polite (as in the usual "how are you?" in the morning) won't even hear your answer, not wanting one anyway, and those who could care will have a chance to know why you're not in a great mood these days.

Someone said "how are you" to me once and I said "why, you really want to know?" :) they were totally perplexe, which cheered me up a little on a crappy morning.

Hug and love the family you have close to you, as well as the friends who deserve it. There is nothing wrong or weak about showing love :grouphug: :grouphug:

BusterBoo
January 6th, 2008, 02:47 PM
First I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, it is never an easy time to lose a parent and especially not around Christmas.

I lost my Mom on August 4, 2007 and this Christmas was especially difficult for my Dad and me. When people asked me how were the holidays, I usually reply....they were very quiet, the "first" is always the hardest. Those that know me and care understood very well, those that don't know me, usually just looked at me and didn't ask for an explanation.

You have every reason in the world to say that Christmas was the sh1t! Things will get easier as the months go on.....

:grouphug:

poodletalk
January 6th, 2008, 05:34 PM
My deepest condolences to you and your family Dragon_Queen.

rainbow
January 6th, 2008, 05:49 PM
Dragon_Queen, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. :sad: :grouphug: I also know what it's like to lose a loved one at Christmas. My deepest condolences to you and your family. :grouphug: :candle:

hazelrunpack
January 6th, 2008, 06:00 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and how hard the past few years have been on your mom and you and your family. :grouphug: It's never easy to lose loved ones, and losing so many so close can seem overwhelming. It brings home how fragile Life really is, and how easy it is to lose what's dearest to you. :sad:

All we can do is celebrate the memories, and rejoice in the loved ones still with us... Even if it does ruin one's reputation. :o

dragon_queen
January 6th, 2008, 07:32 PM
That's why I like coming to pets.ca. You all support each other. Usually I just lurk, look at all the cute photos of the furries and try to help when I can. Thank you so much for caring. You are all :angel2: 's .

Busterboo, My deepest condolences for the loss of your Mom.

DQ

Frenchy
January 6th, 2008, 07:58 PM
I'm glad we could help a bit with what you're going through. Post as much as you want , sometimes it does help just to talk about it.

Hogansma
January 7th, 2008, 01:52 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. My Mom died of lung cancer several years ago and it was a very hard time for her and us too. I also found that some co-workers never said a word about her passing and that is something i will always remember. I have taught my son to say something, anything, at times like that. As long as it comes from the heart, it doesn't have to be perfect or eloquent. I hope you remember the good times and the small things that made your Dad special. Maybe having a special picture of him framed will help. :grouphug:

CyberKitten
January 7th, 2008, 03:49 PM
Iam so very sorry for your loss!!! :grouphug:

amatazes
January 7th, 2008, 03:58 PM
it'll get better.:sorry:

kiara
January 7th, 2008, 04:09 PM
So sorry about losing your dad. My mum passed away around my birthday in September 2006, it was so sudden. We were not prepared for it. Don't let insensitive clods at work get you down !! As my mother always said, "take the best things from life", since it is way too short. Consider yourself very lucky that you have a loving family, many people don't.

allymack
January 7th, 2008, 04:24 PM
so sorry to hear about the loss and how hard the past couple of years have been for you. its a good thing you had time to say goodbye and that it was not sudden. when i was younger my grandfather died at 65 ( that really quite young in the scheme of things) from a brain anyeurism he too told really bad jokes . and you can definately say whatever you want to people who asked about your holidays, you have been through alot! just try to remember the good times you had with him. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

coppperbelle
January 7th, 2008, 07:38 PM
Dragon Queen
In August 2006 I lost my father to lung cancer. Three weeks later my sister in law passed away. Watching them both suffer was extremely difficult and when I thought of the upcoming holidays I would feel myself begin to panic. One day I decided that I would be thankful for what I had and not what I had lost. It helped me get through the holidays. I bought an ornament from Hallmark. It was of an angel with an inscription that said, I am with you because you remember me.
In the last few years a number of other relatives and close friends have also passed away. When I read your post, I thought I was reading about my own life.
Don`t be angry with people if they don`t ask you how you are doing. It is not that they don`t care but just the opposite. They don`t want to open up old wounds and make you sad.

Someone who understands

dragon_queen
January 7th, 2008, 11:19 PM
If you remember, in February I ask for suggestions of place to see in a cross Canada trip. Many replied with fantastic ideas. Here's the link of my folks Happy in July of this year somewhere in B.C.
http://www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=42938

This was a dream come true for my folks..... what's yours?

coppperbelle
January 8th, 2008, 06:47 AM
Beautiful pictures. It's wonderful that your parents were able to take the trip before your dad became ill.

I have travelled a number of times down east but haven't gone too far west. My dream would be to travel by RV across Canada and then the United States.

Thanks for sharing those pictures.