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Relatives rants - pets and holiday experiences

Kristin7
December 27th, 2007, 11:22 AM
I realize this isn't nearly as bad as what ancientgirl had to go through, but I have my own little rant about my experiences over Christmas break. Feel free to add your own if you have something you want to get off your chest, pet related.

My first incident: My sister-in-law's Mom stayed with us for a day (at my parent's place). She is a bit odd and my SIL's whole family is not much for animals. My dog Guinness was somewhat afraid of my niece who is now crawling around. He has rarely been around children and never around one so young that would be crawling around on the floor. I of course kept a close eye on him but he was clearly nervous and would get up and move away if the baby came near him. My SIL's mom informed me that it is very strange for a dog to be afraid of a baby. I shrugged and said that he's never seen one, is never around kids and my last dog was a little nervous around them too. Not sure how one socializes a dog to be around kids if there aren't any around normally to socialize with. None of my friends in town have kids and everyone else lives too far away. I also believe my dog was abused before I got him. He still has some lingering fears but is 1000% better than when I first brought him home. I don't think it is all that unusual for any dog to be nervous around small children if they have not been exposed to them much. By the end of the visit, I could tell he was becoming less scared and was going up to sniff her on his own.. still, the comment annoys me.

The second little rant is that my aunt, who upon hearing that I had had my dog genetically tested and found out he was a border collie mix, told me that he doesn't look a thing like a border collie (he does), border collies aren't all black (they can be and he is not a purebred - I never said that!), and that all border collie's like to fetch (no idea, but blanket statements like that are usually not right as there are always exceptions). My dog doesn't care for fetching and my aunt's dog loves it (they think she is a border collie mix). It was her attitude that bugged me, sort of 'know-it-all' and also disbelieving that my dog has border collie in his lineage. The test result was clear on that, so not sure why she thought to argue and make a big issue of it. Arrgh! :wall:

joeysmama
December 27th, 2007, 12:11 PM
I think it's perfectly normal for a dog to be afraid of a baby. Joey was a rescue dog and he was pretty skittish around very young children. Okay with babies in strollers or seats. But toddlers who were near his size and mobile---that didn't seem kosher to Joey and he was very leery. And rightly so I think.

And the know it all thing is really frustrating. I went through that with the MIL of my husbands friend. Not about animals but about toys. Her granddaughter had a talking teddy bear and my son had a talking teddy bear and she spent an afternoon talking about how much better their bear was. Who cares ?? (It wasn't. LOL But who cares if it was.) She couldn't stop with the comments.

If someone were going on like that about my dog I'd be pretty ticked. :frustrated:

ancientgirl
December 27th, 2007, 12:26 PM
Don't you love unasked for opiniions?

I find it very normal for a dog, any dog to be afraid of little kids if they have never been around them. It's like a dog or cat that has never been around another dog or cat, they don't know what they are and of course they take their time until they feel comfortable enough to investigate.

And your aunt probably just wants to be the only one in the family with a "border collie" I can't stand people who think they're experts at everything, but really don't know a anything.

CyberKitten
December 27th, 2007, 12:33 PM
I think the holidays in general bring out all those feelings- even long held rivalries. I see it even in med students (who spend periods as clerks. Interns rarely get Christmas off) when they come back from their holidays. And I recall it myself as a student - by the end of it, I was glad to get back to my studies. Even when my mom wanted our entire family - and dear God I love them all (well there is one sister who annoys me on occasion, lol) we ended up with my dad staying home one day from Disney World because he had an argument with aforementioned sister and just all the old rivalries coming back to haunt us.

As for animals- I have had family visiting - my brother and his young children but my cats are used to a busy home (except for Bo who was abused and is the most recent and he has his hidey places we set up for him but he has gradually realized that these little ones- one 8 , one almost 2) plus two dogs, one a super friendly chocolate lab he has already come to like and a lassa apso who is not much bigger than the cats and has already been put in his place tho we wanted to make sure all the animals were OK. The kids are used to animals and so it has gone well but we need adult supervision all the time. That just goes with kids and animals in the same house.

YY is a therapy cat so she wants to be where the action is and kind of looks at one of the kids strangely if they do NOT pet her or talk to her or adore her, lol She usually gets her wish. The Sphynx Girls are seen as a novelty still so the kids love to dress them up and they love the attention. The kids did go home for Christmas so that period was not as long as it sounds but enough that it was exhausting in addition to being at the hospital with my dad (and my own work) every day.

Fortunately, none of my relatives dislikes animals or is a know it all. My sil has a bird feeder and when there were rats around it, she refused even to kill them. (Her father's recommendation) because they were living things. She did manage to move them by trapping them and bringing them to a wooded area far from their home. They have deer and very large squirrels there - it's great to look at!

JanM
December 27th, 2007, 12:48 PM
Amber, my 2-yr old Golden is afraid of children - has been since day 1 and I don't know any children I can socialize her with! And I, too, believe that dogs are naturally unsure of toddlers and smaller children too - it is NOT an unusual situation at all!

Un-asked-for comments like the ones mentioned here usually make me see red - I do wonder why the person making the comments feels they have to do it - because I can't see any positive side to their comments at all!

Kristin7
December 27th, 2007, 01:16 PM
Thanks, it is good to know from others that their dogs are also nervous around babies. The woman was making me feel like my dog is a freak! He is actually good with kids that can walk, I don't think he's ever seen a baby crawling around before though. I hope she doesn't go on and on about it to others, like my SILs family or even mine. I can just imagine how that could get blown out of proportion.

My mom's family is great with unasked for opinions - they are all pretty blunt and sometimes to the point of being rude. Fine if they want to be like that amongst siblings but extending it to those relatives they only see once a year is only going to lead to problems. I told my aunt that her dog probably was not a border collie mix at all, but instead a lab, since that is what they do - retrieve! :evil: Funny thing is, I have met their dog and it looks nothing like a BC, but more like a Rott. They are borderline abusive to their dogs and must feed bad food as their dogs coats are always terrible. One of my other aunts (same side of the family, another sis of my mom's) in the last few years has adopted or purchased 3 dogs and at least one cat and given them away because of this or that issue. Drives me nuts! :frustrated:

Kristin7
December 27th, 2007, 01:46 PM
I can't believe I forgot this one! My parent's and all my mom's side of the family insist on referring to any animal as its opposite gender. To them, I have 2 boy cats and a female dog. This is driving me up the wall and has been going on for years. How do I get them to stop? I have tried correcting them but it never works. They continue to do so, almost seems like they do it on purpose to bug me. When asked about it my mom told me their names confuse her. My cats names are Micki and Annie (females) and my dog is named Guinness (male). :yell::yell::yell: Oh, they also have a male cat they refer to as 'she'.

kiara
December 27th, 2007, 02:22 PM
I am really lucky that everyone I know is an animal lover, I guess it has just happened that all my friends are like that. We never have these type of confrontations. But my friends have big mouths and they like to make negative comments about me. One time only, which is once too often!!!!(which is, I think, is a lot worse that talking about cats or dogs). It seems to "bother" people that I have not worked for many years to stay home and raise my kids. I am therefore spending "my husband's money" and I am a "lady of leisure". Women don't get enough respect for the work they do by being housewives. Therefore I should be mad at my friends for the comments they have made????

SARAH
December 27th, 2007, 03:38 PM
My first incident: My sister-in-law's Mom stayed with us for a day (at my parent's place). She is a bit odd and my SIL's whole family is not much for animals. My dog Guinness was somewhat afraid of my niece who is now crawling around. He has rarely been around children and never around one so young that would be crawling around on the floor. By the end of the visit, I could tell he was becoming less scared and was going up to sniff her on his own.. still, the comment annoys me.

Dogs can even be scared of a kitten! I've seen a large dog run away when a small kitten approached him, hiding behind my mom's legs! I think basically the fact that something that small is self-propelled confuses them. Also with babies, they realize that this being is fragile and are scared of hurting them inadvertedly. Dogs who are used to small kids are generally fine with them, I've seen a Boxer teach a kid to walk by offering his stump of a tail to hold onto! Also, with Guinness, you saw he was getting braver towards the end of the visit. In other words, he had to figure out for himself what this crwaling thing was. I'm sure that if you could bring him around the baby more often, he'd soon be fine with her.

The second little rant is that my aunt, who upon hearing that I had had my dog genetically tested and found out he was a border collie mix, told me that he doesn't look a thing like a border collie (he does), border collies aren't all black (they can be and he is not a purebred - I never said that!), and that all border collie's like to fetch (no idea, but blanket statements like that are usually not right as there are always exceptions). My dog doesn't care for fetching and my aunt's dog loves it (they think she is a border collie mix). It was her attitude that bugged me, sort of 'know-it-all' and also disbelieving that my dog has border collie in his lineage. The test result was clear on that, so not sure why she thought to argue and make a big issue of it. Arrgh! :wall:

Know-it-alls!! My aunt was like that too. Knew banking better than my banker-dad; knew more about physics than my brother who studied it; knew more about Shakespearean English than us - she speaks not a word of English, at all, let alone Shakespearean English! etc etc. When you know her, you just let her talk and say yes and no here and there, hoping it's at the right spot in her monolog :laughing: her live-in once said that the difference between her and the car radio was the off-button on the radio. :laughing:


I can't believe I forgot this one! My parent's and all my mom's side of the family insist on referring to any animal as its opposite gender. To them, I have 2 boy cats and a female dog. This is driving me up the wall and has been going on for years. How do I get them to stop? I have tried correcting them but it never works. They continue to do so, almost seems like they do it on purpose to bug me. When asked about it my mom told me their names confuse her. My cats names are Micki and Annie (females) and my dog is named Guinness (male). :yell::yell::yell: Oh, they also have a male cat they refer to as 'she'.
Same here, we have all "he"s regardless. OK for Spoutnik, but the other three are females! My two SILs have a female dog for one and a female cat + a male dog for the other, so there's really only one male there from earlier.
To my dad, all cats are "he"s regardless, mainly because he's always had male cats after the one female that filled the house with kittens :laughing:

I am really lucky that everyone I know is an animal lover, I guess it has just happened that all my friends are like that. We never have these type of confrontations. But my friends have big mouths and they like to make negative comments about me. One time only, which is once too often!!!!(which is, I think, is a lot worse that talking about cats or dogs). It seems to "bother" people that I have not worked for many years to stay home and raise my kids. I am therefore spending "my husband's money" and I am a "lady of leisure". Women don't get enough respect for the work they do by being housewives. Therefore I should be mad at my friends for the comments they have made????
Being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job. You are the nanny, the maid, the housekeeper, the laudry-person, the repair-"man", the book keeper half the time, the work foreman when there is repairs or new building to be done, the vet, the nurse, the chauffeur, the coach, the boo-boo-healer, the police when the kids quarrel ... lady of leisure? Have them try it for a week, and see if you are not entitled to that money too!

Been there, done that. 16 years of slaving at home (loved it though) and when I left my ex was the one who said that I had come with nothing, had contributed nothing and should leave with nothing! What the f:censored: !!

chico2
December 27th, 2007, 04:01 PM
First off,my cats are terrified of tail-pulling little kids(not that I would allow it)and run for dear life,but luckily we don't know many people with little kids.
Kiara,I was home for many years,unable to work because of 2 sick kids..
I was fortunate to be able too,most mothers now work double-shifts,at home/in the work-place.
To me it was important to be there for them when they got home from school,something I always had myself as a kid.
I do not believe that working make you any happier,unless you are working in your chosen profession and love it.
As for spending your husbands money,in our household,there is no such thing as his or my money,we are a couple,the money is ours,whether I work or not.

joeysmama
December 27th, 2007, 04:33 PM
Kiara, don't even get me started. I put up with those comments for years. From one stay at home mom to another. I KNOW that you aren't a "lady of leisure."

CyberKitten
December 27th, 2007, 04:47 PM
Since she s[ends so much time with the chocolate lab, and likes to say what sounds like "by", my bet is that my niece's first words will be "good boy" :)

I do know not all children are as well trained to cope with pets though.

clm
December 27th, 2007, 05:46 PM
I can't believe I forgot this one! My parent's and all my mom's side of the family insist on referring to any animal as its opposite gender. To them, I have 2 boy cats and a female dog. This is driving me up the wall and has been going on for years. How do I get them to stop? I have tried correcting them but it never works. They continue to do so, almost seems like they do it on purpose to bug me. When asked about it my mom told me their names confuse her. My cats names are Micki and Annie (females) and my dog is named Guinness (male). :yell::yell::yell: Oh, they also have a male cat they refer to as 'she'.

:laughing:My mother does that with all our cats and her own. Drives me up the wall. :laughing: I keep correcting her, but she's been doing it for years I might as well give up and try to ignore it. :wall:
She's never done it with my dogs however, must just be a cat gender reversal brain gap. :laughing:

Cindy

want4rain
December 27th, 2007, 06:58 PM
clm i dont know about YOUR mom but mine will do things like leave her pockets hanging out just to annoy me. :shrug: secretly i think she is paying me back for being HER kid. :frustrated: dork... :)


-ash

clm
December 27th, 2007, 07:00 PM
clm i dont know about YOUR mom but mine will do things like leave her pockets hanging out just to annoy me. :shrug: secretly i think she is paying me back for being HER kid. :frustrated: dork... :)


-ash

:laughing:My mom is totally frustrated that I never had kids to get my pay back for being such a rotten child. :laughing:

Cindy

Kristin7
December 28th, 2007, 11:35 AM
Unfortunately there are few opportunities for my dog to be around their child. He is not welcome in their apartment as my SIL doesn't like animals. They don't live close so the only times my dog would be around their baby are generally holidays and other family visits, totaling 2-3x a year. :shrug:

I agree, that stay-at-home mom's (or dads) have a full time job. My mom stayed home with us until my youngest brother went to school and I'm sure we are all better for it. If I had kids, I'd want to stay home for a few years...

clm - my mom is also frustrated with my lack of kids, but maybe she shouldn't have said things while I was growing up, like 'I don't want to be a mother anymore' or 'When you grow up I hope you have a child just like you' (meant in a most negative way).

I really don't understand the gender reversal thing my parents do with animals. Unfortunately it will probably always bug me - I know they know the gender of all the animals because they always say it is opposite of the animals' true gender. Maybe with my next pet I will lie and tell them it is a male when it is female (or the reverse) and see what happens...

ancientgirl
December 28th, 2007, 11:51 AM
Unfortunately there are few opportunities for my dog to be around their child. He is not welcome in their apartment as my SIL doesn't like animals. They don't live close so the only times my dog would be around their baby are generally holidays and other family visits, totaling 2-3x a year. :shrug:

I agree, that stay-at-home mom's (or dads) have a full time job. My mom stayed home with us until my youngest brother went to school and I'm sure we are all better for it. If I had kids, I'd want to stay home for a few years...

clm - my mom is also frustrated with my lack of kids, but maybe she shouldn't have said things while I was growing up, like 'I don't want to be a mother anymore' or 'When you grow up I hope you have a child just like you' (meant in a most negative way).

I really don't understand the gender reversal thing my parents do with animals. Unfortunately it will probably always bug me - I know they know the gender of all the animals because they always say it is opposite of the animals' true gender. Maybe with my next pet I will lie and tell them it is a male when it is female (or the reverse) and see what happens...

Maybe picking them up bottom side facing your parents they would know who was the boy and who was the girl.:D

14+kitties
December 28th, 2007, 01:12 PM
I am really lucky that everyone I know is an animal lover, I guess it has just happened that all my friends are like that. We never have these type of confrontations. But my friends have big mouths and they like to make negative comments about me. One time only, which is once too often!!!!(which is, I think, is a lot worse that talking about cats or dogs). It seems to "bother" people that I have not worked for many years to stay home and raise my kids. I am therefore spending "my husband's money" and I am a "lady of leisure". Women don't get enough respect for the work they do by being housewives. Therefore I should be mad at my friends for the comments they have made????

Kiara, don't even get me started. I put up with those comments for years. From one stay at home mom to another. I KNOW that you aren't a "lady of leisure."

I know the way you feel ladies. I chose to stay at home when my children were young so I could be the one to guide them in their future actions. I ran a child care out of my home with between 8 and 12 children at all times to help make ends meet. My MIL was the worse offender for saying I lived off of her son's money. Grrrrrrrrr! I must say....she's the biggest reason he is my ex!