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Holiday Eating Tips

rainbow
December 18th, 2007, 03:56 AM
Especially for Sarah :laughing:


Holiday Eating Tips:


1. Avoid carrot sticks....

Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.


2. Drink as much eggnog as you can....

And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch as you can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? And, it's even better with rum in it. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's the Holidays!


3. If something comes with gravy, use it...

That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.


4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk...

If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.



5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating....

The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Hello ????


6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's....

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that rum & eggnog.


7. About the goodies at the buffet table....

like frosted cookies in the shape and size of Santa. Position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.


8. Same for pies...

Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat.....have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert for free????


9. Did someone mention fruitcake?

Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, come on, have some standards.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


REMEMBER THIS MOTTO TO LIVE BY:


'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'

SARAH
December 18th, 2007, 07:24 AM
:laughing: :laughing:

And I was planning on ...

1) make sure there are healthy dip-sticks, not just chips
2) make egg-nog if I can find a recipe (yes, even I will have egg nog :D )
3) have gravy, but hey ... home made, not the msg-filled store type
4) roasted potatoes, skip the mash, too much work!
5) not going to any holiday parties, we're holding them :) food controlled!
6) Lewis and I will train together 5 days/week, and walk the dogs every day
7) not one cookie is frosted, it's not part of Norwegian traditional cookies, and I'm having 2 and 3 per day, alternately, for 10 days.
8) No pies. One desert Sunday 23rd, one on the 24th, period. Cookies are enough.
9) fruit cake? Never liked the stuff :yuck:
10) feeling terrible is not an option.

Motivational quotes:
You only have one body, take care of it so it will serve you longer.
Nothing tastes as good as being lean feels.


Incidentally, Lewis now has a 2-pack (4 to go for that famous 6-pack ;) and so do I, why ruin it and get a gut back just for a few days of over-eating and feeling sick from it? :2cents:

Fun list though Rainbow :laughing:

SARAH
December 18th, 2007, 07:52 AM
:d Ps :d

breeze
December 18th, 2007, 09:47 AM
REMEMBER THIS MOTTO TO LIVE BY:


'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'

my thoughts exactly!!!!!!!

http://www.smileycons.com/img/winter/18.gif

Frenchy
December 18th, 2007, 12:42 PM
And I was planning on ...

1) make sure there are healthy dip-sticks, :yuck:
7) not one cookie is frosted, :sad:
8) No pies. One desert Sunday 23rd, one on the 24th, period. Cookies are enough. :eek:




Note to self , postpone visit ........ :D

SARAH
December 18th, 2007, 01:31 PM
Well, there will be chocolates in the kitchen cabinet as Lewis just got some (among other things) for his 15 years with the same company. I'll save yoiu some :thumbs up

rainbow
December 18th, 2007, 01:40 PM
HA HA HA ....you guys comments are funnier than the tips. :D

SARAH
December 18th, 2007, 02:05 PM
BEST COOKIE RECIPE EVER
Christmas Cookie Ingredients:


1 cup of water
lemon juice
1 tsp baking soda
4 large eggs
1 cup of sugar
1 cup nuts
1 tsp salt
2 cups of dried fruit
1 cup of brown sugar
1 bottle Jack Daniel's Whiskey

Sample the Jack Daniel's to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Jack
Daniel's again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the Jack Daniel's is still OK, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried fruit, pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose
with a drewscriver. Sample the Jack Daniel's to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.

Check the Jack Daniel's. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off
The turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Dack Janiels
And make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Ford Girl
December 18th, 2007, 02:33 PM
I never ever feel bad this time or year. Altho I try not to over do it during actual meals I do drink my wieght in booze. :D

I turn 30 on the 30th - so new years eve is my night to "shine". hahah! :thumbs up

krdahmer
December 18th, 2007, 06:43 PM
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'


:laughing::laughing: That gave me the best laugh I've had in a while... I LOVE it!! I am gonna take that and put it right on my fridge!!! (and promptly take it down in January!!! :rolleyes::laughing:)