December 15th, 2007, 06:36 PM
I lost my Buddy 3 weeks ago and I'm empty inside ,how soon is it right to get another dog? I know it is a hard question but I feel guilty about looking for one and the house is not the same without a family best friend.
Any help and advice appreciated.
December 15th, 2007, 06:41 PM
Budboybudboy77...How are you doing? I was thinking about you and Buddy the other day....I think if you are feeling empty inside and want another pet to share your love with then you are ready...There are so many dogs looking for homes so there is certainly no shortage...if you feel you can do it then I say go for it...I also think it will help ease some of the pain you feel in losing Buddy..
December 15th, 2007, 07:16 PM
I loved both of my previous dogs and cats very much. I still think of all of them often. Toby and Max were beautiful cats and gave me loads of love for 18 years each. Freddie and Yogi were both very special dogs taken from me too young at 10 years of age each.
Each time I lost one of them, I was heartsick, but couldn't stand the emptiness I felt and the emptiness of the house after each was gone. I had to get new fur baby members and did as soon as was possible after each of them went to the bridge. It was the best way for me to heal and carry on.
Everyone is different. What I did, not everyone wants to do. Some people never want to get another pet, some want to wait. I couldn't wait.
You can't think of it as the new pet taking the place of the old one. No new pet could ever live up to that. It's a new wonderful life you're welcoming into your home, they'll be totally different than your beloved pet that you've lost, but you'll love them and teach them and continue on.
December 15th, 2007, 09:20 PM
We couldn't wait, either. In fact, when it became clear that Priscilla was dying, we brought Cass home right away because we couldn't bear to think of how quiet the house would be without a dog...
Don't feel guilty about wanting that niche filled, budboy. If you find that perfect match and bring a new dog home, it won't be because you love Buddy any less...it'll be because you've got a lot of love in your heart.
Everyone grieves differently. You'll know it's right when it's right. And Buddy wouldn't begrudge you the joy that a new companion would bring. He certainly would not want you to be unhappy!
December 15th, 2007, 09:37 PM
Follow your heart. :D
December 15th, 2007, 09:52 PM
sorry to be the odd one out...but if you feel guilty about it, maybe you need more time. Maybe you're rushing. MAybe you need to make peace with your loss before you can move on to a new friend:)
December 15th, 2007, 10:24 PM
I waited six months, but only because I also felt guilty and weird in getting another dog right away. But, you have to do what's best for you. Nothing wrong with waiting and nothing wrong with finding another. Take as long as it takes to find the right dog.
December 16th, 2007, 02:32 AM
Follow your heart. :D
I agree. Everyone is different and nobody can tell "you" when it's "your time to feel right". :o
December 16th, 2007, 07:43 AM
I think Buddy would be proud of you if you would rescue a needy,lonely pup,you have a lot of love to give,who's to tell you when the time is right??
Only you know:dog:
December 16th, 2007, 09:52 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. I think if you feel that you want to share your love with another pet then I don't see anything wrong with doing so. I'm sure Buddy would not want you to be alone.
December 16th, 2007, 11:11 AM
We were so heartbroken when Joey died !! My heart goes out to you. We said we would never ever ever get another pet. If we couldn't have Joey we didn't want any dog. And we weren't going to let ourselves get attached to another pet and go through the heartbreak of losing it.
Eleven days later we brought Cooper home !!! Eleven days. LOL ! And no he's not Joey but we love him for being Cooper. :lovestruck:
It's right when you feel it's right ! :grouphug:
December 16th, 2007, 11:26 AM
Thks to all for the help and advice , it helped alot.We think we are ready and are looking a bit now, so thanks again and happy holidays!!
December 16th, 2007, 12:00 PM
Check out this link to Belle's babies!! I dont know where you live but maybe you could PM her??? Check this out!
December 16th, 2007, 06:13 PM
i agree with everyone, there is no certain time that is right to go and get another pet ..maybe a rescue? but everyone is different, i know i couldnt live long without a pet, but thats me, you might need more time to heal from your loss, its when you feel your ready:)
December 16th, 2007, 08:30 PM
budboy, I am so sorry for your loss of Buddy. I know you did everything you could to help him and having lost my Shade so recently I know the anguish you are feeling. I also struggled with the decision to welcome another furkid into my life and the question I ultimately asked myself was whether I was ready to accept the new dog for who they are and the special qualities they bring to my life. 3 months passed before I felt that I could look for a new puppy, not to replace Shade, but to fill the emptiness I also felt at the time.
It has been a joy to have Chloe in my life and to watch her grow and to get to know her and I am happy with my decision. I felt guilt when thinking about getting a new dog, wondering if I was disrespecting Shade in some way, but I know she would want us to be happy and I still remember her everyday and miss her like crazy. It does get easier with time. I really identified with what you went through with Buddy and I hope that you find another beautiful soul to share your love with. The dog that chooses you will be lucky to have you, and you him!!
December 16th, 2007, 09:01 PM
Like I have said,Mitzie was a very special dog,a born therapy dog. When she died,I honestly felt like dying too. She's not beside me when I watch TV. She's not there when I reach out to pet her at night when I wake up. I took it very,very hard.
I had Boo at the time and about 6 months later,Bonnie was given to us. We took her because she needed a loving home. I love them very much but they are not like Mitzie.
Your heart will tell you when you are ready. Just don't expect a new dog to be like sweet Buddy. Bonnie and Boo have their own personalities and I don't expect them to be like my Mitzie. I did lose my little Pepper,my cat, but I just can't get another one now because I can not afford the vet bills.
December 16th, 2007, 09:51 PM
I am so sorry to hear you lost Buddy.
I agree it is a personal decision and there is no right answer. After Molly died, I looked for the right dog for 9 months but nothing was quite good enough to add to the family. It was too big, too small, too old, too young .... well, you get the picture. There was nothing wrong with any of the dogs but I was just not ready. I eventually did find my Bailey but it was more about me being ready for her.
There are so many dogs that are in shelters and rescue groups just waiting to have a good home. I hope you take a look. No harm in just looking ... right?
December 17th, 2007, 03:00 AM
Everyone is different and every situation is diferent. I waited 8 years after my Inky died. But only 9 months after poor Elvis. It sounds like you know when it's the right time for you. Buddy will understand how much you miss him. Just remember that the new one will have it's own personality.
December 17th, 2007, 09:28 AM
Thank You all again for the advice.I know for sure that nothing will replace Buddy and I do not want to replace him , just to get another best friend which I know will have its own personality.
Buddy will never be forgotten, we have pictures of him all over, and thats the way it will stay for a long long time,even if we get another pet, we have enough love to give to both Buddy and another furkid.
Thks Cindy for the link .
December 18th, 2007, 09:40 AM
thats true!nobody could replace the place of the one we loved.....
but It would be better if you could find a new companion...
a home in time for the holidays..
[No self promo, tks]
December 18th, 2007, 12:58 PM
Hi,my name is Alina and i am new in Canada.3 months only.I came here with my family and my pets.3 cats and 1 god.i had such hard time and a lot of stress.i was happy when i succeded and i arrived here with all of them ok.But i realised i can not keep them like that..2 ,1 boy cat and 1 girl cat,brothers,stay in basement ..the other boy cat lives upstairs with us.there is a rule..they must never meet,they fight badly.2 days before i brought the boy from downstairs for a while ,the other one closed in a room.after i took him back downstairs,i released the other ..but he smeled and he was mad ,i try to calm him but he bit me.i dont know what to do..i think that will be fair to find a new home for the one downstairs.a family that can leave him run freely and live his life.is not fair to keep them closed only becouse i love themso much..i dont have condition for them..they must stay in that room for life..i am very sad.if they met is the worse scenario..and i have also a child..what if he goes there and release them.i have to be realistic.my heart is bleading.but ,maybe someoane wnts a cat.is a lovely cat ,he need love and i dont have the time and cond to stay,play with him.but it must be a dedicated family,better with no dogs or other cats.please help me.thank you and excuse my grammar mistakes.i wish you all well.:pray:
December 18th, 2007, 06:42 PM
I just lost my beloved cat on Dec 9 and I too feel like I would like to get another. I know that I will never get a replacement for Stuart, but I miss his soft fur, his loud purr. I am also wondering if it's too soon and even if there is a "too soon". I would like to thank the posters for their input to Buddy's owner, as I am finding the input useful too.
Take care, Buddy's owner.
December 18th, 2007, 08:54 PM
I am sorry and sympathetic towards your loss of buddy. I understand your pain.
We lost our beloved Black Lab "Max" in September of this year...he was 16 years old. I struggled with this loss and I could not stand the silence and emptyness in both my heart and my home so within a week I was looking for another best friend to add to our family. We brought Sofie home October 29th ( she was born the day we lost our Max and I thought this is karma and certainly meant to be). She is 14 weeks old now and a real joy...it did help to ease the pain in our hearts. Max will never be forgotten and we keep pictures of him all over the house and speak of him fondly and often with tears but I know Max would agree with our need to spread the love with our new furball :-) You will know when the time is right for you to find that new friend and I wish you luck with your search.
You haven't been loved 'til you've been loved by a furball :-)
My loving furballs,
Sofie - September 10th 2007 - Yellow Labrador Retriever
Riley - March 1st 2006 - Tabby cat
Max - Rest in peace my sweet friend - Black Labrador Retriever - 16.5 years old - March 21, 1991 to September 10, 2007
December 19th, 2007, 11:02 AM
Many thks again for the advice, I'll take them all and keep thinking.