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Feeling unsure

ancientgirl
November 1st, 2007, 06:00 PM
I'm starting to feel unsure. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to have Kiska, and soon Maks, but I'm feeling bad for Oksana.

Oksana is very special to me, because of the way she looked when I first saw her. She was a very small kitty huddled in the corner of a cage, away from her siblings. She looked so lonely, and she never took her eyes off of me. The day after i first saw her I went to see her again, and she was in the same spot, and continued to look at me the entire time I was there.

I've always felt Oksana to be a lonely kitty. I don't know, like the one always left out, due to the way her siblings would not play with her.

Ever since I brought Kiska home, Oksana has eaten very little. And she will get a little close to Kiska then run. Vlad has engaged her and has even been playing a little bit. But Oksana is being very solitary.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't want her to be the one nobody plays with. I know its still early. I've had Kiska barely a week, and I don't even have Maks home yet. Who knows, maybe Oksana will take to Maks more. I don't want her to be a sad kitty.

I know I did the right thing by taking Kiska and Maks from that place, but did I do the right thing by keeping them? I love Oksana dearly, and I'd hate for this to be the cause of any sadness for her.

Winston
November 1st, 2007, 06:22 PM
Ancientgirl! if you felt you did the right thing that is all that matters here! Your beautiful girl Oksana will learn to get along dont worry! It has been a very short time and things are so strange to her right now...She has a new kitty in her house and another one coming so it will take time....Give her lots of loving and she will be just fine...

Dont get overwhelmed because think of where they all could be if you didnt save each and everyone of them! I have a brother and sister pair...Tabitha rules the roost! all 6 pds of her! :laughing:..Bomber is my scaredy cat! Both of them were abused....we believe Bomber took more than her..but it took almost 2 years for me not to cry when I saw him so petrified he would pee on the spot! or even worse he would hide in the litterbox and try to cover himself up to hide! it broke my heart..but patience and lots of love and a good warm home..brought him around..I felt the same way about him that you feel about Oksana because he always sat on the side lines..never played with toys, very skittish, but now he plays..runs, and is truly a happy cat! It took a long time for that...

I would expect her to maybe eat less because things are a little disrupted in her home..just watch her..maybe buy her an Vlad a special can of food for a treat...All will go just fine!

Cindy

:thumbs up

ancientgirl
November 1st, 2007, 06:35 PM
I felt the same way about him that you feel about Oksana because he always sat on the side lines..never played with toys, very skittish, but now he plays..runs, and is truly a happy cat! It took a long time for that...
I would expect her
to maybe eat less because things are a little disrupted in her home..just watch her..maybe buy her an Vlad a special can of food for a treat...All will go just fine!

Cindy

:thumbs up

That's just how I feel. I don't want her to be the odd-kitty out or to be the one who gets picked on by the others.

I know, its still early. I'm probably just jumping the gun. But I'm a worry wart, especially when it comes to these little ones.

Dracko
November 1st, 2007, 10:14 PM
I know just how you feel. Been there. Things have always worked out for me after a short while.

I said in another thread that my oldest cat, Mochie, would get very solitary when I brought a new kitten home. She would hid downstairs in this cubby hole, not cuddle, etc. I seriously didn't know if I could keep Ginkgo. I didn't want life to change for Mochie. But, after a few weeks things seemed to get back to normal.

Honestly, I think Oksana is probably just more cautious than Vlad but she is so young that I would be surprised if she didn't start to get along with the other kittens after too long.

But, please know others have had these feeling. It's like a pit in your stomach that won't go away. Try to just give them time. You always do have the option after the cats are stronger and more well to rehome them with a good family.

krdahmer
November 2nd, 2007, 01:05 AM
I STILL feel guilty for bringing in all these cats after Smoke (she was my 2nd- also very young/small and timid).... and the way the boys pick on her just makes me feel even worse. She is mostly a loner and hides, and gets stressed easily. But I make a point to take time and shut myself alone in the bedroom now and then and have special alone time with her, to brush her and play string and stuff like she used to before the 'invaders'. She comes out for treats in the AM and does lay on me once in a blue moon. Admittedly her personality did change a bit from all the uproar of adding 4 more cats within a year and a half, but she is still sweet and quiet and happy, for the most part (when she isn't being chased or harassed- I am trying to water bottle train the boys not to do it, but its not going so well so far).

Don't worry...Oksana will need more time to adjust, being so young she should have no problem figuring out where she fits in. And some cats just are loners, who prefer to spend their hours to themselves. And just remember you never know who might be snuggling up to who when you are not lookin! I've walked in on quite a few surprising cuddly combos, despite the hissy fights during the waking hours.

Love4himies
November 2nd, 2007, 06:52 AM
I wouldn't worry too much about Oksana, she is just under a little stress of having a new kitty in the house and she will get use to it and will back to her old self in no time.

My senior cat acts the same way at first and she always goes back to her old self.

In a couple of weeks they will all be playing, driving you crazy! :D

ancientgirl
November 2nd, 2007, 08:02 AM
Thank you for the reassurance. New kitty is very outgoing, and I'd just hate for Oksana to be the one everyone picks on. It would break my heart.

One very sweet thing though, last night Vlad came up to her a couple of times, and he licked her on the head and face. It almost looked like he was reassuring her, she was still his number 1. :lovestruck:

chico2
November 2nd, 2007, 08:03 AM
My Chico is sometimes outnumbered by Vinnie and Rocky and I feel sorry for him,but we always make up for it in giving him ooodles of love,he laps up every minute of it:cat:
He's a very loving cat,but should probably have been an only cat.
I am not saying he's unhappy,but he'd rather tell the other two off than playing with them and cuddle with HIS mom and dad.
A new kitten in a household is always a little stressful to the others,but I am sure Oksana will be ok.
Does she have a place where she can eat without intereferance from the others? Chico eats on top of my PC-wallunit,the only place where the others cannot get to him,not that they try,Chico is just nervy and needs his privacy at mealtimes.

ancientgirl
November 2nd, 2007, 08:13 AM
I've caught her eating in her usual spot, just after the excitement is over. I'll feed them in the morning then at around 5:30 when I get home. In the evening, Oksana will have a few bites of food and walk away, but she'll go back throughout the evening when its less crowded.

She also typically sleeps right next to me. I can always feel her in the middle of the night, on my right side. And she usually stays in bed with me until I get up, so that's something I really treasure and I'm glad she knows she has that.

I've had to put Kiska in her carrier at night because she plays with the covers when I turn the lights off and doesn't let me get to sleep. Whenever my feet move, she's on them. Vlad and Oksana have never really attacked my feet like that, so they pretty much have the run of the bed with me.

Tomorrow I may be bringing Maks home so we'll see how things go them.

Janie123
November 2nd, 2007, 10:31 AM
Pepper has never really gotten along with the dogs. The swats at them and they charged him but I stopped that. But,it seems wierd because last night,I came out of the bedroom and found both dogs and Pepper curled up together in one dog bed sleeping. I could not believe my eyes. I think they know he is sick and they do too. It's like "we can pick on him but no one else can" type of thing. I'm sure this is the way the kittens may be with Oksana. they may not pick on her but they won't let any other cat do so either hopefully. It may not look like it but they will see her as part of their family eventually,I think. As you know,cats have different personalities. Oksana may just always be a loner. Then,again,maybe not.

ancientgirl
November 2nd, 2007, 10:44 AM
That's sweet that the dogs would do that to Pepper.

Oksana is a very calm kitty. Sometimes Vlad will come to start to play with her and stuff, and she'll sometimes just walk away. So I think she doesn't like to be messed with too much. It's just I see her looking at the others and it looks like she wants to play, but maybe she's just watching.

I don't know. All I can do is assure her I love her and give her love whenever I can. Every time she passes next to me I say her name and bend down to pet her. Vlad is more outgoing and sociable than she is, he always has been. Even when people come over, he's the first one to greet them, but she stays behind and runs off.

want4rain
November 2nd, 2007, 10:52 AM
i was soooooo worried when we brought Frances into the house!! we had such a nice dynamic (other than Baby Girls shyness) and dint want to screw it up by bringing another cat into the house....

EVERYONE hissed and swatted at her for the first week and all it took was Hunter making friends. POOF the rest of them treat her just like she has been here forever.

:) worry not, all will be well in the Ancient Household!!!

-ash

ancientgirl
November 2nd, 2007, 11:14 AM
I know it will take a while. I guess I want them all to be busom buddies right now! I know it will take time. Kiska so far looks to be very outgoing. She wants to play and she's very curious. She's the one running up to them, and being very curious.

Vlad has engaged her more, but he's outgoing too. I was told by the girl at the vet's office I got him from that Maks was very reserved. So I'm wondering if his personality will be like Oksana's. I'll know more tomorrow, when I bring him home.

Things are going to get very interesting. I'll make sure to take pictures as soon as I get him home.

I have to take Vlad to have his left eye looked at, he's had some mucus coming out of it now and then. And I want to make sure Oksana is free of those parasites she had a few weeks ago. So I'll probably be bringing Maks home then.

chico2
November 2nd, 2007, 03:36 PM
Ancientgirl,I can't wait to see pics,hopefully Maks is 100% cured of his scabies.
You know,4 is a better number than 3,so maybe Oksana will bond with Maks:cat:

ancientgirl
November 2nd, 2007, 09:57 PM
The vet had told me he was making good progress, so hopefully he'll be well enough to bring home. I can't wait to have them all together.

And yes, I've heard that an even number is always best. If Maks is low key like Oksana, then I think they will get along well. But I have noticed her playing a bit with Kiska, so that's good progress.

As soon as I get the little guy home I'll post some pictures.

Janie123
November 3rd, 2007, 12:17 AM
We had a HUGE ginger cat named Bubba that died a few years ago from kidney failure and he was only 5. :( It was very sad. But Bubba was a real loner. He liked Pepper but never got used to the dogs even though we got him as a kitten. He wasn't one to be picked up but rather,he preferred to come to you. He liked me and would give me nose kisses but I could only pet him a little. He loved our sick son and slept with him. It gave David a lot of comfort and he was very upset when Bubba died.
Bubba's litter was found in a dumpster and he was absolutely ravenous when David and my husband brought him home. He toddled after Pepper,learning to ambush him and it was fun watching him grow and attempt things Pepper was already very good at. But he absolutely hated the dogs. He bit Mitzie badly above the eye and it got infected. She had to have surgery on it and I was up several nights with her as she was in great pain that was finally managed.
I tried very hard to get him to get along better with the dogs and was having some success until my son was married the first time. We should have known. All my animals hated her and I had to get on her several times when she would torment Bubba by chasing him and making him hiss and swat at her. He hated her and would hide when she came over. When Mitzie didn't like her,I knew there was a problem. They divorced less then a year into the marriage and there were a lot of broken hearts due to this girl.
Bubba never did recover from his fear of women. He would sit by me and give me nose kisses but he didn't really like me touching him. He died shortly after my son's sad divorce.
My son remarried 5 years later and the animals LOVE his wife. She's not really a cat person but she is kind to Pepper and loves the dogs. They all ran to her and Pepper even tried to get into her lap when we first met her. I was very relieved.
Animals know,they really do.:thumbs up

Dracko
November 3rd, 2007, 12:26 AM
You mean a grown woman would chase the cats like that when they didn't want to be????? I'd have banned her from my house. She obviously didn't understand animal behavior. I'm glad to hear your son "traded up."

Janie123
November 3rd, 2007, 12:49 AM
She didn't last long,don't worry. My son caught her with another man before they had been married a year. That was 7 years ago. They had no children but she became enraged when he remarried again 4 years later and is still trying to cause him legal problems.
But I do think she contributed to Bubba's being even more of a loner. I had to threaten her with not coming over anymore if she didn't stop it. We are VERY glad she is no longer around but we sure miss Bubba. He sure was a loner and we learned to accept that. But she didn't help the problem.:evil:

mummummum
November 3rd, 2007, 01:39 PM
All I can do is assure her I love her and give her love whenever I can. .

That's absolutely true :o ....there really is nothing else.