Pets.ca - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 

-->

I'm getting really sick and tired!

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 11:21 AM
Okay, I GET that having two cats in a condo is hard and having two cats can be expensive. And I more than GET 4 cats is harder, but I've committed to this. I know many people who have more than 4 cats in their homes, and dogs and they are dealing and happy.

Why must some people feel the need to offer up their opinion when I haven't asked for it?

Mind you, I'm freaked out right now, I know its not going to be easy, I knew that the minute I took in Kiska and Maks, but why is it when I tell someone about it, they think it gives them the right to tell me I'm crazy, or that its too may cats?

Both my good friends felt the need to tell me I'm nuts, and I've got too many. I was telling my boss and he damn near scolded me and made me feel like a 12 year old who'd brought home the 20th stray in a week. I haven't even told my dad yet, I don't even want to hear that lecture. My brother, for all I complain about him, god love him he just shrugged it off.

I was happy, I was thrilled and excited at the prospect of having a loving 4 kitty family, but now I feel like I've been stepped on and kicked to the curve. I feel like everyone thinks I'm a complete moron and know nothing about how hard life it. Instead of supporting me and being happy I've been labeled the crazy cat lady.

I'm realizing that telling people close to you anything about your life isn't worth it. Because if its something that just made you happy, they will do everything they can to pick at it until its one big scab and you're miserable.

I'm happy so little, is it too much that the people in my life allow me what little I have? :sad:

Riluke
October 29th, 2007, 11:31 AM
I have found that people will offer their opinon on most things, not meaning to be offensive but often that is how it comes across.

When my son was a baby he was quite sick and everyone gave me well intentioned advice and comments. But nothing ticked me off more than when they told me years later, that it probably wasn't as bad as I remember. If you haven't lived in that situation then you really should not make any sort of observations like that.

When I got a dog my family gave me a lot of attitude about what a mistake it was.

The way I look at it, you life your life to make you happy..not other people. If they cannot understand the things you do, well that's their loss. Life is too short and you have to find your happiness where you can. What works for you is not going to work for other people and if having a good heart for kitties is a problem for them....well.....tough, you have the kitties to come home to and make you feel better.

Dracko
October 29th, 2007, 11:32 AM
I can relate. I had 3 and then adopted 2 kittens almost 2 months ago that needed a home. When I tell people I have 5 (plus my GSD) you can just see the "look" in their eyes. I always get the jokes about "The Crazy Cat Lady."

My house is very clean, doesn't smell like animals and I am a responsible pet owner. I think some people think my house must stink and be over run with cats in every nook and cranny. Hardly. Heck, I'm in my bedroom right now and my dog is beside me but there are no cats in sight.

I guess we just have to let the comments pass and realize how happy our pets make us. That's the way I try to deal with the loser who say negative things.

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 11:39 AM
I just can't get over it though. I don't tell anybody how to live their life. Yet for some reason, it's like they all think they have free reign to tell me every little opinion that comes into their mind.

I know, it is my life and I'm quite happy with my cats. They give me joy, and they don't force their views on me. All they want from me is love, attention, and of course a good home.

I just need to tell myself these people don't really know what its like to be me. They don't understand how happy my little ones make me.

Sheesh, its like they have visions one day I'll turn into some cat hoarder and my house will be over run with cats. That's not going to happen, because I've no room for more. I know that more than what I have now will not be good for them either, at least not where I'm currently living.

Winston
October 29th, 2007, 11:48 AM
Ancientgirl! I wouldnt worry what anyone says! If it makes you happy to have the kitties! who cares! Thats just the way I think! Some people just dont understand how great it makes you feel! and what a service you are doing for those poor little ones!

I say :thumbs up to you! Ignore the others!

Cindy

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 11:58 AM
They really don't understand. And I'll tell you, its not like their life is all that great either. My boss is dealing with major personal issues, and he's not made the best decisions in his own life, and my best friend would rather be at work half the time than at home, because her kids drive her crazy.

I don't have those complaints. I half think they're just jealous.

My boss said it was going to bring health issues for me, with 4 cats. Well I already take allergy pills, and I'm sick now but that's not due to the cats. So what, maybe I have to change the types of allergy pills I take okay so be it.

I need to just tell myself to shut those comments out, and if they keep coming just politely tell them I'm fine and don't need their advice.:mad:

clm
October 29th, 2007, 12:00 PM
You're always going to have people offer up their opinion on how you should run your life.
The older I get the less concerned I've become about what people think and even less about what they say. Family, friends, makes no never mind to me. They know my animals are my priority and most of them don't even bother me about it anymore.

Cindy

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 12:03 PM
I'm getting to where next person who decides to tell me what I should or shouldn't do, I'm going to ask how happy and great their life is?

Nobody that has given me this "great advice" I can honestly say is totally happy and pleased with their life. So I'm wondering, why do they feel the need to question my choices?:rolleyes:

Love4himies
October 29th, 2007, 01:13 PM
:grouphug: to you, ancientgirl, you don't deserve those opinions. You have one life to live, as long as you are not hurting anybody, live it the way that makes you happy! If your precious babies bring a smile on your face, that is what's important, not their opinions.

hazelrunpack
October 29th, 2007, 01:37 PM
:laughing: :rolleyes: :laughing: :rolleyes: I hear ya, ancientgirl! That's one of the reasons I joined up here--no one batted an eye at the 6-Pack we had then.

For the first five, I was able to tell Dad, "well, you had 5 kids and I didn't hear people calling you crazy!" After 5, well, I just stopped letting him know of new arrivals. :p

...They give me joy, and they don't force their views on me. All they want from me is love, attention, and of course a good home.

I just need to tell myself these people don't really know what its like to be me. They don't understand how happy my little ones make me.


You need to tell your critics all of the above! Do it pleasantly, with a quirky smile on your face and laugh off their doubts. I always tell them that although the 8 are a bit expensive, they're cheaper than putting kids through college and I never have to worry about them smashing up the car! Your sense of humor will be your biggest ally. Even if the humor is a bit wry on particularly trying days... :o


The older I get the less concerned I've become about what people think and even less about what they say. Family, friends, makes no never mind to me. They know my animals are my priority and most of them don't even bother me about it anymore.

Cindy

This is so true, Cindy! ancientgirl, once you learn to laugh off the nay-sayers, you'll find that it just doesn't matter what they think.

:grouphug: If you're happy, and your babies are happy, the rest of it is inconsequential! :thumbs up

And you can always come here for support!

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 02:58 PM
Thanks everyone. This is one of the reasons why I'm so happy I found this board. I knew that this was the one place where I'd be understood about my love for these little ones.

It's good to know that at times like this, I can find some support for the way I feel.

:grouphug: to all of you

krdahmer
October 29th, 2007, 03:50 PM
:grouphug: Ancientgirl, I have heard it all... I even have the lecturing dad too to boot! ($$$$!!!) I get the allergy lecture, the money lectures, the 'it's not fair to the cats you already have' lectures.... and to them I say balogna!!! Especially since finding this place... heck I'm in a Binge Eating group now and there are not one but two ladies with MORE cat than me!!! (one has 7, one has 12!!!.... not doing much for the fat ladies and cats stereo type :rolleyes::laughing: but those cats all have loving safe and happy homes so who cares!!!)

Now I just beat people to the punches, I call myself the 'crazy cat lady' before they do and ya I wear it like a medal now... I'm damn proud of it! :D
If it weren't for people like us on this forum who open our homes to as many pets as we can take care of, just think of how many more would be being PTS for lack of space at the shelters, or dying in the streets:sad:. Sometimes I explain it to them that way. And its not like I set out to have this many, they were sent to me for a reason.... they needed me, and I needed them just as much.

And when the snide comments come from people who don't have pets, who don't know that love... well I no longer get upset or angry... I just feel so so sorry for them, to be missing out on so much, it's no wonder their jelousy shows.

And my most triumphant moments are always when those who have all the critisisms and judgements finally come to my house, and make comments like 'aw he's so handsome' and 'arent you friendly' when my Buddy meets them at the door and I tell them he was beaten and abandoned and had three homes before his first birthday. Or when they say 'wow, you would never know you had even one cat in here' and I am proud of my choice in litter and my great housekeeping skills and tell them it only takes an extra 20 minutes every other day to keep it that way. Or best of all when someone like my grandfather comes to visit... a man who hates cats, and brags about the horrid things they used to do to them 'way back when' just to bother me... when my big 17lb. Buddy makes a b-line for his lap and nudges his face... and I see just the slightest smirk before he tries to look tough again. Those are the moments I wear the 'Crazy Cat Lady' judgement with the most pride.

So welcome Ancientgirl, welcome to the greatest and most rewarding club of all... the Crazy Cat Lady Club!!!:highfive::D

Jim Hall
October 29th, 2007, 03:51 PM
If It makes you happy and you can care for your pets as i am sure you can, so what? Do you think most other people have that much joy in thier lives?

I'm getting to where next person who decides to tell me what I should or shouldn't do, I'm going to ask how happy and great their life is?

excellent reponse

I was happy, I was thrilled and excited at the prospect of having a loving 4 kitty family, but now I feel like I've been stepped on and kicked to the curve. I feel like everyone thinks I'm a complete moron and know nothing about how hard life it. Instead of supporting me and being happy I've been labeled the crazy cat lady.

Let me tell ya I would rather deal with a cat or dog than most people i know they arent nearly as F:censored: up


ANd I am thrilled and excited for you too and just a wee bit jealous that I cant have more than one pet .

So keep dong what you want Most people who will dissagree with you have no idea how much joy a house full of pets can bring

I thank my girl Maria almost very day for helping me keep DU

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 04:09 PM
I do think that all of these people are jealous. They'll never know how much joy these little creatures can bring you.

I've got Kiska running around the place. Vlad and Oksana are pretty much leaving her alone. They now and then get near her and sniff her but that's about it.

Her poop is runny, so I'm going to stop giving her canned for a few days. I think all the stress of the last few days, and that she probably wasn't eating well is making her like that.

I've also noticed her back legs are a little curved. I can't describe it, but if you look at her from behind, her thighs go in, then her legs turn out a bit. I don't know if this is just something she might outgrow. I'll have to ask the vet when i take her for her next round of shots. She walks fine so it doesn't seem to be a serious problem.

dmc123
October 29th, 2007, 06:39 PM
I agree that it is no one's business, and I also get tired of the "Oh My" look or the comments. But I tend to say it before them...."yes, I am crazy, but I love them..." stuff like that. Makes them laugh instead of preaching at me and besides they aren't paying the bills - or getting all the love from my dogs and cats....I AM! :)

Try not to let it bother you, I think some people can't entertain the idea of one pet, much less multiple pets.

Diane

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 07:01 PM
Heck, I never thought I'd have another cat, but thanks to the allergy pills I was able to have Vlad. I never dreamed I'd wind up with 4!

Winston
October 29th, 2007, 07:29 PM
Ancientgirl! I wouldnt worry too much about her legs...see what the vet says but I bet she just has some growing to do! After all she probably was pretty hungry...and probably a bit undernourished..Just like those cute little ears!

Did you find out how Maks is? or did I miss that part of the thread! Trying to catch up.. Why did they dip Maks? did he have mites? I have heard of dogs being dipped for mites but not a cat? Hope he is doing well!

So Vlad, Oksana and Kiska are all together? That is great!

Cindy

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 07:44 PM
Yeah, that's what I thought. I looked at her a bit more closely, and she's so skinny in per pelvic area, I think its just that she's got no meat, so she's sort of sunk in. I'm thinking once she gets some meat on her little bones they'll straighten out.

I went to see Maks before I came home. Poor little guy, he was in a cage all alone. I'm going back tomorrow and take him some balls to play with. He had something I can't remember. It's similar to mange in dogs and it starts with an S. The vet said its not as bad as she thought. I will probably be able to bring him home on Saturday, but she said that he might need treatment for another month. So I'll see what she says. I left him because its contagious, but hopefully by Saturday it won't be.

I can't wait to bring him home. Kiska wants to play, but Vlad and Oksana are in that wary stage and they're still just hissing at her and just watching her. So there's not much playing going on.

Winston
October 29th, 2007, 07:46 PM
I hope you get to bring him home soon! It will be nice for him to continue to bond with Kiska...I guess they are brother and sister? probably if they were brought in together!

Did they call it Sorcoptic Mites?

Cindy

ancientgirl
October 29th, 2007, 08:06 PM
I looked it up, its called Feline Scabies. She really needs to have him here. They are brother and sister. Vlad and Oksana are close in age, and they are already bonded, so right now, Kiska is the odd man, or kitty out. At least with Maks here she will have a playmate and they will all little by little get to know each other.

want4rain
October 29th, 2007, 11:21 PM
(:sorry: i didnt read through the whole thread!! but i wanted to drop a note anyway....)

when folks make those comments on how to run your life, pointedly give them the advice THEY dont want to hear. its ALWAYS worked for me. *smiles sweetly*

-ashley

growler~GateKeeper
October 29th, 2007, 11:54 PM
Just wanted to add you tell those people they don't live your life for you so they can stop telling you what to do or you will be making nasty suggestions on what they need to do ;)

:grouphug: good for you for saving these babies when they needed someone the most :cat::angel2:

Love4himies
October 30th, 2007, 08:40 AM
I've also noticed her back legs are a little curved. I can't describe it, but if you look at her from behind, her thighs go in, then her legs turn out a bit. I don't know if this is just something she might outgrow. I'll have to ask the vet when i take her for her next round of shots. She walks fine so it doesn't seem to be a serious problem.


My two orphaned foster kittens are like this and my daughter has a cat whose back legs are the same so I think it may be normal. All three of them run the same way too.

Let me know what the vet says about it.

ancientgirl
October 30th, 2007, 09:04 AM
Ah okay. I wasn't sure if it was something bad. I'm guessing it might have to do with how thin she is. Her little waist is sunken in a bit so maybe once she's fattened up a bit they will turn out a bit. Either way, she's getting around with no problem so whatever it is, doesn't seem to be a detriment to her.

badger
October 30th, 2007, 09:57 AM
Starvation affects every part of the body, including the bones, so no wonder she walks funny. First she'll get a little tummy and then slowly the rest of her body will catch up. It all looks out of proportion right now but just wait a few weeks, she will be transformed. Try not to overfeed her; I know that sounds counter-intuitive - you just want to pour in the calories - but putting the weight on slowly and steadily is the best approach. I have a couple of overfeeders (ie pigs) and it is probably because I didn't take my own advice!

ancientgirl
October 30th, 2007, 10:05 AM
Right now I'm giving her some dry. I was giving her canned, but her poop is slightly runny. I'm going to give her some dry for a few days with plenty of water to see how she does. I'm giving her the recommended amount on the bag I have. I've been buying Eukaneuba for Vlad and Oksana, since its one of the few that looks to be better quality.

I know what you mean though. I've been watching some of those Animal Planet shows, and they always say that you should never feed a starving/malnourished animals a lot of food. You have to introduce it slowly. It's the same with people.