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Losing temper with kids

Rottielover
October 10th, 2007, 07:02 PM
I am in tears right now. Tonight, I really lost it with kayla. I am not one to have a lot of patience, but tonight drew the line for me.
I do not know what happened, she started screaming at me for no reason, when I asked her to stop she did not. So I squeezed in her cheeks and made her look at me. I yelled, I scared her, she could not breathe threw the tears
I feel horrible, I closed out the door, and walked away.
5 mins later I walked in there, lied down next to her and cried, and she hugged me.
I feel like such a horrible parent.

Winston
October 10th, 2007, 07:10 PM
I am in tears right now. Tonight, I really lost it with kayla. I am not one to have a lot of patience, but tonight drew the line for me.
I do not know what happened, she started screaming at me for no reason, when I asked her to stop she did not. So I squeezed in her cheeks and made her look at me. I yelled, I scared her, she could not breathe threw the tears
I feel horrible, I closed out the door, and walked away.
5 mins later I walked in there, lied down next to her and cried, and she hugged me.
I feel like such a horrible parent.


Oh Rottielover! Its okay to feel bad, but you made amens and thats all that you can do! We all loose our patience once in awhile and I am sure Kayla will be okay..you have been through alot lately and I know that is no excuse but dont be so harsh on yourself and look at the positive..you came here to talk about it and that is great...kids love is so unconditonal...she probably just has some hurt feelings...All will be better soon!

Have you moved into your new place yet? and how is your handsome Harley doing?

Cindy

breeze
October 10th, 2007, 07:14 PM
you are not horrible, you would never do anything to hurt her or your doggies.
you are very over welmed right now, you did right you walked away, kids forget faster than we do, I know I've been there... with 2 boys when they were going up they pushed and pushed and pushed, finially I pushed back, did not sleep for a week cause of it...

It's ok stop kiking yourself.. deep breaths, you are ok so is she, things will be back to normal for her in a coupkle of hours... do not let this get the better of you.. and do not feel guilty and give into every whim cause of guilt, she WILL forget....:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

poodletalk
October 10th, 2007, 07:24 PM
Oh Rottielover, we all have bad days.

I got mad my older niece the other day! I bought her a beautiful 3/4 biege coat to wear to school. (It wasn't cheap) I was talking to over the phone the other day and I asked her if she wore the coat to school yet?

She said NO! She gave it to her little sister who's 2 so she can wear it when they play detective! (The coat must be a mile and half too big on my little niece)

I got mad that this expensive coat is being used to play dress up and said"I have to GO! and slammed the phone!"

After I did it, I felt terrible that I closed the phone so fast...but my older niece forgot all about it when I called her back after a few minutes.

Frenchy
October 10th, 2007, 07:34 PM
you did right you walked away,

I second that. Give yourself a break , you're a single mom ! You are feeling worse than Kayla I'm 100% sure ! You don't want to know what my mom used to do to us :laughing: let's just say , the wooded spoon wasn't always use for cooking .... my bum made friend with it a couple of time :laughing:

:grouphug:

jiorji
October 10th, 2007, 08:01 PM
aww that sucks rottie... just explain to her mommy had a bad day and she'll understand. It's worse when parents scream and they don't appologize. I think the hug you got means a good thing:cloud9:

wdawson
October 10th, 2007, 08:14 PM
every parent has their moments,as do the children.sometimes we let emotions take over and we lose control of the situation,it happens,hopefully you both learn the positves of the situation,thing will work themselves out and all will be ok....stay cool and focused:thumbs up

Jim Hall
October 10th, 2007, 08:24 PM
5 mins later I walked in there, lied down next to her and cried, and she hugged me.
I feel like such a horrible parent.[/QUOTE]


see she forgave you already

growler~GateKeeper
October 10th, 2007, 11:53 PM
Oh hun don't beat yourself up :grouphug: she has forgiven you for a momentary lapse (in which you didn't hit/hurt her) and who wouldn't have one with everything you've been through lately. Walking away for enough time to calm yourself is the best possible thing to have done in that situation. :thumbs up

Three is such a difficult age as well, she is most likely going through a growth spurt which screws up their emotions and at the same time they are continously pushing to see how much they can get away with. Kayla is probably also feeling the stress you are under with her recent accident, the move & everything Harley is going through & she is most likely confused by all that too. A playdate in the park either just you & Kayla or Kayla & a friend is a good stress reliever to ease the tensions for a few hours. :goodvibes:

:grouphug: :grouphug:

Rottielover
October 11th, 2007, 11:50 AM
It is amazing how fast she choses to put it behind her, if she forgot, I do not think so, but she let it slide.
I was in shock with what I did, did not sleep very well, I was tossing all night.

want4rain
October 11th, 2007, 12:24 PM
Rottie, i was a single mom up until Cailyn was 4. i had those days where i would just shut myself in the bathroom and cry. i remember the one time i ever had a real melt down with her. she threw her spoon at me. i had a headache, it hit me in the temple... i grabbed her off her seat by the shoulders, made her look me in the face and told her if she threw another thing in this house she would spend a whole DAY in time out!!!

i felt like the worlds worse parent for ever. i still have moments of guilt over that. she was so shocked that i snatched her up like that... when i came out of the bathroom from balling my eyes out, she gave me a huge hug and told me she was sorry (which made me feel worse) and i told her i was sorry and did my best to explain to her that i had a headache, there is a reason why people dont throw things (and thats NOT because mommies will freak out....) because people will get hurt and mommies make up rules to prevent others from getting hurt.

to this day there are still times where i have to go in my room and scream into a pillow and kick the air for a bit. thankfully kids are genetically disposed to love us no matter what we do. :o

-ashley

Chicklet
October 11th, 2007, 04:40 PM
Guess I somehow missed out on understanding the hard ship of being a single mom,
I found it so very much easier and relaxing then it even was being married,

It sounds to me like you acted far better then some single parents I have spoken with,
Your just showing your Daughter mums human too and makes mistakes,
What counts is what you do to correct those mistakes, and it sounds like you made amens very nicely

kara1
October 12th, 2007, 04:12 PM
Hey you did good. Sorry i dont know your story but, if this does happen again, next time talk to her and tell her that when she yells at you, you dont know what she wants that she needs to stop yelling and to tell you what she needs. Three year olds will understand you after they calm down and will talk to you. I have a three year old myself and have worked in childcare for over 10 years. I've been there.lol :thumbs up

Rottielover
October 12th, 2007, 06:54 PM
She did it again tonight. This time I did what my mom did, I gave a warning if she did not stop, soap will go in her mouth. Well she did not stop, and she had her first taste of soap. LOL
I think she will think twice next time

breeze
October 12th, 2007, 07:01 PM
I need to let you in on a little secret, soap does not work on most kids.. you put soap in their mouth and before you know it they go right back and do it again.. I think mine got use to the taste of soap when they were younger, every time they would swear or yell at me , they would end up with a small amount of soap. the only thing that worked when I lost my temper is I yelled as loud as I could right back at them, they were so stuned that they stopped what they were doing and just stared.. after that they never yelled at me again. lol lol lol, swearing is another matter (never master that one):laughing::laughing:

Frenchy
October 12th, 2007, 07:15 PM
I need to let you in on a little secret, soap does not work on most kids..

Franctly , not only soap (doesn't work !) we had our share of soap tasting as kids (personally , I always prefered Ivory :D) but you can always try. :shrug:

Rottielover
October 12th, 2007, 08:07 PM
well it stopped her tonight, and I think it did because she really did not think I would do it. LOL

otter
October 12th, 2007, 11:03 PM
Soap or not, the most important part is that you follow through on what you say... if you say soap and she goes on then soap it must be.
!

Chicklet
October 14th, 2007, 08:45 PM
Been yrs ago now, But there was a case where a child died in direct cause of a bar of soap being put in their mouth and they were made to bite it, then release it, The mother had done it to all her kids as a means of discipline, Had even done it to this child numeral times before, But this time the child reacted differently or something, I don't remember all the details, been so long ago, But she was put up on Murder charges, I can't remember much more than that,
I wouldn't use soap, Just like the dogfood racket going on, Do you really know what your putting in your childs mouth? and are you really willing to take that chance, I'm not, There is other far safer ways of discipling a child

Just thought I'd mention this,