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Hurt by kid's comments - am I unreasonable?

T&Csmom
September 25th, 2007, 11:23 AM
I was walking Tashy today, and a neigbourhood kid, a girl of maybe five years, stands at her fence and starts yelling at us. She basically goes on screaming, "Shoo shoo dog," and "stupid dog."
Ok, so common sense told me it's only a kid and not to get my feathers ruffled over something "trivial" (and perhaps amusing to others). At the same time I love my dogs and they are my babies. Like any mom who would get hurt if someone starts calling their child, "stupid," irrespective of the doers age, my emotions overtook common sense and in a minute I went from hurt to angry. :sad:
Now I feel as if I was unreasonable to feel that way, since afterall if was only a kid:rolleyes: So do you think I am allowed to get hurt? I walked away from the kid real fast, but I am afraid that she will make a habit out of it and start yelling stuff every day. :sad:

Jim Hall
September 25th, 2007, 11:33 AM
I wner why the child did that ?
Most kids love dogs
Maybe she was scard of your dog

And yes it's ok too feel hurt I would feel hurt too but be more curios about the chold's response .

And like a barking dog she succedded in getting you away .

want4rain
September 25th, 2007, 11:34 AM
while 18 months is a bit different from 5yo, Jeffrey yells NO! or BAD DOG! every time he sees a dog. he thinks its funny, doesnt understand what it means. i tell Mister no when he licks Jeffreys face and when he does soemthign bad i wont hesitate an admonishing *GASP* Bad Dog!! which shames him a bit. :)

as for feeling bad/angry, who is anyone to judge you?

next time you can show that girl that he really is a SMART dog by stopping, telling him to sit, lay down and anythign else you can think of. who knows.... maybe you will create another dog lover??

:) chin up, nothing wrong with being offended someone called your baby names. just give her somethign to think about next time. 5 years old is a tender age for children. they are learnign how to be snotty lol!!

-ashley

jiorji
September 25th, 2007, 12:17 PM
i would've turned and said "say that again and this 'stupid' dog will bite your face off":evil:
.....ok maybe not...i wouldn't want to be the reason for a kid's nightmares :laughing:....i'd say "takes one to know one":rolleyes:


but it's all to do with her upbringing. I wouldn't take it to heart like that. It's just a kid. She thinks the way her parents tell her to.:shrug:

Frenchy
September 25th, 2007, 12:18 PM
I always loved dogs and as a kid , I would have never say those things. Maybe next time , try to explain to her that your dog is not stupid and she's a good dog ! The kid probably gets that from her parents. :shrug:

happycats
September 25th, 2007, 12:35 PM
Hate is taught, so this kids parents probably don't like dogs, how sad:sad:

I understand your feeling hurt, it's normal that's your baby!!
Maybe try asking her why she is saying that? Tell her it's not nice, and how would she like it if someone said it to her? Many times children don't understand until you ask them how they would like it if somone did it to them.
Hopefully you can turn this little dog hating devil into an animal lover!

Love4himies
September 25th, 2007, 12:55 PM
I am wondering why a 5 year old would say that and am feeling sorry for her because she is probably being brought up in a house without pets. If you see her again, perhaps you can show her how loving and fun a dog can be by showing the tricks Tashy can do.


We are all so proud of our furkids and such comments can get to the best of us, even from a 5 year old. :grouphug: to you.

Lukka'sma
September 25th, 2007, 01:01 PM
I remember a thread similar to this one last year. If you are interested in reading it here it is.

http://www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=36398&highlight=Lukka

I really does irk me when someone talks to Lukka in a teasing manner, or calls her names.

Dogastrophe
September 25th, 2007, 01:27 PM
Hard to say what the motives of this kid were. Perhaps they were scared or knocked over by a dog in the past and feel the need to "get back" at every dog they see. I'm certain that I wouldn't have walked away without saying something to the kid (like "he's smarter that you'll ever be" or "you're pretty stupid yourself").

I don't get to worked up if people call my dogs names so long as it is done in a playful manner. For example, my parents were visiting for the weekend (both loves dogs) and my father took to calling Jack, Ro Tund (Jack, while stocky and not "fat" by any definition looks as though he should be fat until you grab hold of him and find he's 18 lbs of muscle). Dad would scoop him up, scratch his belly, and say 'how's that feel rotund'.

ancientgirl
September 25th, 2007, 01:58 PM
I think the kid probably hasn't been exposed to many animals and probably fears them. I also think a lot of her behavior is due to her parents not teaching her that animals are not stupid.

I don't blame you for feeling hurt. I would feel hurt too if someone said that about my little ones.

My best friend comes over with her little 5 year old sometimes, and Syd loves playing with the Dynamic Duo. But her mom is always telling her to be gentle and be nice. They have a cat at home too that's always been an outdoor cat, not to mention other pets, like fish and lizards. So the parents are teaching the kids here how to respect animals and take care of them.

Maybe the best thing you can do next time is show the little girl how NOT stupid your dog really is.

fosterpat
September 25th, 2007, 02:16 PM
Sorry, but a little 5 yr old child is probably the equivalent of a 3month old pup, both equally have some learning to do. She probably has not been around dogs and is just repeating something someone else has said. To be hurt by these remarks from a 5yr old, unreasonable, IMO perhaps, but you're entitled to your feelings! But certainly don't feel angry towards her, just like a pup, she needs to learn that dogs are nice, fun and loving animals. Next time you see her, try to be patient with her and explain to her that she hurts your feelings when she says nasty things to your dog. Talk to her in a gentle way and perhaps in time she will befriend you and your dog.

badger
September 25th, 2007, 03:59 PM
Maybe it's a cultural thing. Do Sri Lankans keep pets? I know they are mostly Buddhist or Hindu but no clues there (as there would be with many Muslims). Kids love being provocative, I would have hurled back, shoo you! stupid girl!

jiorji
September 25th, 2007, 04:26 PM
well even so...both hindus and buddhists are highly respectful of animals. There would be absolutely no reason to call an animal stupid in those religions. Both religions are technically vegetarian.

Unless it's a muslim thing :shrug: Wasn't Byrd saying that Egyptians don't value dogs as much as they do cats?

JanM
September 25th, 2007, 04:33 PM
I'd feel hurt also but I also feel very sorry for that child. Her home life may not be one of nurturing and love and, to have that attitude at such a young age doesn't bode well for her future!

Stacer
September 25th, 2007, 08:00 PM
I think along the same lines as badger and jiorji, it's probably a cultural thing. Some cultures view dogs as vermin, dirty, definitley not something to be loved or kept in the home. So the girl probably is repeating things she's heard her parents and other adults say.

CyberKitten
September 25th, 2007, 09:56 PM
My guess is it is both cultural and learned behaviour from home. Maybe her culture does not like dogs and certainly, one might guess her family has not very nice things to say - children repeat what they hear. I have met literally thousands and thousands of childremn in my lifetime of work - here and in many countries with very different cultures and I can honestly say that even in cultures where pets are devalued, most children do not share their parents' views so this is rather unusual. She may be afraid of dogs and other animals and I can see that being an issue, (and often especially moms will teach their kids to fear dogs - just by exhibiting their own fear so that may be a factor here as well.)

I understand your concern but this is a child. If the parents say it is OK, I wold teach her about dogs but I would not do it without the parents' permission.

T&Csmom
September 25th, 2007, 10:35 PM
Yeah, most are Buddhist here. So although many don't engage in physically harming or killing animals, there are those who are not fond or tolerant of animals too. Of course there many more who love animals. At the same time a lot of people live beyond the poverty line, so pets/dogs are secondary to them and the authorities, resulting in the burgeoning stray dog population. It's not that these people don't care, they just don't have the means to. This child has no pets, and her household is not pet tolerant I guess. I'm not sure how her parents feel towards dogs, but let me tell you an incident that happened with one of her aunt's.

A few years ago there was a blind stray puppy that I was feeding and letting into my yard. I was not allowed to take her in because our house was full already, but I made sure she didn't go on an empty stomach at least till I found her a home. One evening there was this noise outside, when I looked out I saw the puppy being chased down the road by this girl's aunt for straying into their yard. The picture I have in my mind still burns me up, I found it so cruel. That day I got into a loud argument with her, and told her off pretty bad. This woman can't stand animals, so maybe that's where the girl gets her hate of animals :confused:

What really got to me was the fact that this child kept repeating it over and over, and even after I had passed her house she still kept going. I'm calm over it now, but if she does the same next time, she's going to get an earful from me :D


Lukka'sma, thanks a lot for the link. I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one feeling that way. :grouphug:

want4rain
September 25th, 2007, 10:51 PM
What really got to me was the fact that this child kept repeating it over and over, and even after I had passed her house she still kept going.

maybe its less that you were offended someone called your dog stupid and more that they whole situation sounds creepy? kids are suppose to love animals right? i think a quick show of how cool a dog can be just might change that little girls mind.

-ashley

growler~GateKeeper
September 25th, 2007, 11:02 PM
To me it sounds like this girl lives with her animal hating aunt, the girl probably at one point asked for a dog & the aunts' response was something like "dogs are stupid". So now that she knows can't have one she says this to every dog she sees so it will go away & she perhaps will not be reminded that she cannot have a dog. Kids that age have very screwed up logic plus the brainwashing of bad parents :rolleyes:

gsdlove
October 20th, 2007, 11:05 AM
I agree with a previous post. A 5yr old would learn from their parents. If you try to have her pet your dog the parents might get really peeved with you. Best to ignore and carry on without taking it personally!

kiara
October 20th, 2007, 06:00 PM
For a five year old, she sure has a big mouth! She is like this either because her parents talk against people and animals. I will give them the benefit of a doubt. Threaten her that if she talks to you like that again, you will go and talk to her parents, it will sure scare her. If you think you have problems, I should tell you what happened to my family. Two of my daughter's friends, one boy and one girl stole money from us and got caught by me. They were always welcomed in our house, slept over and ate our food. I was so shocked! These were after all underage children. They both of course got kicked out of my house. The boy sent me hate mail, wishing me many years of bad luck. I was always so kind and trusting of everyone! You may be doing this girl a favor, since perhaps the parents maybe nice people and they don't know that she talks like that to strangers.

Hogansma
October 27th, 2007, 12:17 AM
I had a similar incident years ago. It was a very hot summer and I was walking my dog just around the block. I was on the sidewalk but Hogan walked just on the grass (on a leash) so he wouldn't burn his feet. It is technically a boulevard, owned by the city, not the start of private property. A little girl about 5 or 6 was on the swing and said to me "get your dog out of our yard!". I was shocked. I didn't say a word but came to a stop and just gave her "the look" that only a parent can. I just stood there and she did leave the swing and go into the house. Not sure if it was right or wrong thing to do but I really didn't want to say something I may regret.

I really think it's just a kid being a kid. It will pass.

CyberKitten
October 27th, 2007, 01:29 PM
I would not take it personally - this is a five year old child for heaven's sake that you do not know. She may have no experience with dogs or more likely a bad experience. She does not know your dog - and it may also have to do with her own experience and family. I would not worry about it at all and certainly not take it personally. I am sure the dogs do not care.

If you do see her again, you could introduce your dogs in a slow and considerate manner - and that might help. Harsh comments to a five year old will only scare her and help convince her that people with dogs are "not nice". I know so many five year olds - and I would not be concerned. Please do not Yell at her!!!

Mahealani770
October 30th, 2007, 03:49 PM
Since it "takes a village," I would've walked up to that little girl and said,
"Now that's not a very nice thing to say, now is it?" Inside I would've been cussing her out. She needed to be reprimanded since her parents don't know the meaning of the word.

CyberKitten
October 30th, 2007, 08:28 PM
I am with Mahealani770's observation 100%. I have worked with zillions of children - many of them 5 year olds - and that is too young an age to know if they dislike animals. They will know if they have a fear though, usually developed on cultural and other extraneous variables - sometimes it is not even the home.

I would ask the child why she is so mean to my dog who I love and care for just as much as she cares for her family and friends. She may not even realize what she is saying - not all five year olds share the same intelligence, abilities, knowledge of animals - one cannot judge by just the one comment tho it's clear she needs to learn about dogs and other animals.

I was curious about the Buddhist comment since all the Buddhists I have met have been vey caring for their animals. In fact, my YY's name was recommended to me by a Buddhist woman - Quan Yin, the Buddhists Goddess of Mercy. Could you possibly live near a ddifferent kind of Buddhist cult? Or near some who do not share all the values of their religion?

Jim Hall
October 31st, 2007, 12:22 AM
Here's an even siker one by a grownup
I am stiing by my friends apartment on a ptrtty busy street in the city and I have her liitle 99 percoent 4 lb black cat halfway in my lap.

This male maybe 19 or 25 or so looks at us and says in some accent probaly mideast tukish w/ever bad cat nasty cat go away !!!
Of courser janet the 3 lb hunter just lokks at him and I go what the h))) are you saying schmuck?
He says iss vrrryyybaaadd luck to see black cat
I replied Its worse luck if you dis the caT ONE MORE TIME JERK ! nOW GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE DARK AGES AND GROW THE F888 UP!

Was I a wee bit too harsh ?:shrug::2cents:

marsupial mama
November 7th, 2007, 08:07 PM
well, I'm a Muslim and recovering from a dog phobia that stemmed from being attacked by a dog when I was a kid, more than religious or cultural issues ... I was determined not to pass the fear onto my kids and have succeeded in raising 3 dog lovers! (animal lovers in general, actually). They know to ask before petting a dog though, for their safety and the dog's comfort (some dogs are scared of kids...) I'm getting brave enough to pet dogs too, if they look calm and placid; I'm still nervous around the really bouncy ones!

Some Muslim cultures dislike dogs more than others, but I have met Muslims of all backgrounds who like dogs. The issue is cleanliness - many Muslims regard the entire dog as unclean whereas it's actually only the saliva that is regarded as impure in Islamic laws and rules ,and there is a simple means of purifying anything it gets onto, so it doesn't have to be such a big huge deal as some make it out to be. Dogs for farming and hunting were known and permitted since the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him). In fact a shaykh once told me that the saliva etc of working dogs is not unclean or impure.

Cats are more popular in Muslim cultures, but some people have an idea that a purely black cat or dog may be a jinni, which is why they don't like to be around them. But saying that seeing a black cat is unlucky is just a dumb superstition IMNSHO.

Sorry to burble on for so long, we Muslims get a pretty bad rap often enough :yell: hope this explains a bit...

Writing4Fun
November 8th, 2007, 09:36 AM
Be it a cultural thing, or that her parents hate/fear animals and have passed that hatred/fear onto her, I don't think you should approach or speak to the girl at all. A strange adult approaching a young, unattended child is not acceptable, no matter what that child is saying at the moment. By all means, stop in front of the house, have your dog perform a few well-mannered behaviours. Perhaps the child's continued yelling will bring the parents out to investigate, at which point you're more than welcome to talk to them about why you stopped in front of their house. ;)

For the record, I would be hurt/insulted as well, but I wouldn't hold it against the little girl. I know a lot of people who pass their fears onto their kids - just ask my son how he feels about spiders. :eek: It's not the child's fault, in the end.