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A Letter for Dogs and Cats

breeze
September 13th, 2007, 04:12 PM
Dear Dogs And Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print In the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your Food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
Me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall Faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized Bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when They
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched Out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out And having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but Sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
Necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the Edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline
attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it "fur"niture.

3. I like my pets a lot Better than I like most people.

4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she Is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't Speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less.
2. Don't ask for money all the time.
3. Are Easier to train.
4. Normally come when called.
5. Never ask to drive the Car.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
7. Don't smoke or drink.
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions.
9. Don't want to wear your Clothes.
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college.

chico2
September 13th, 2007, 04:19 PM
Breeze,that's great:laughing:especially the bathroom part:laughing:

ancientgirl
September 13th, 2007, 07:58 PM
I loved this! I especially loved the stairs part. I'm going to forward this to my friend who has dogs.

mummummum
September 13th, 2007, 08:05 PM
Thanks for the chuckle !! :laughing: Some of it is WAY too familiar :D

Jim Hall
September 13th, 2007, 08:21 PM
[QUOTE=breeze;477491]Dear Dogs And Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print In the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your Food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest. HUH WELL YOU CAN SHARE MY ALPO ANY TIME YOU KNOW THAT

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
Me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall Faster than you can run. YEAH BUT YOU MAKE SUCH INTERESTING SOUNDS WHEN YOU FALL DOWN

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized Bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when They
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched Out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out And having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but Sarcasm. DOGGIE SAYS YEAH BUT LAST TIME I CURLED UP THE CAT SLEPT ALL OVER ME

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
Necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the Edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. ITS NOT YOU, ITS THE SMELL WE FIND SO FASCINATING AND THE NOISES AGAIN

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline
attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough! AGAIN WE LIKE TO SHARE INTERSTING SMELLS

and besides no matter how bad anoyying or stoopid we get
we all know one cute look and your are owned again.

BusterBoo
September 13th, 2007, 08:39 PM
I have seen this posted on a few different boards I belong to and it always makes me smile!

Thanks....it's all so true :goodvibes:

Frenchy
September 13th, 2007, 08:48 PM
:thumbs up :laughing:

The first list is to be posted on the fridge , at the botttom of the door so they can read it :D

breeze
September 13th, 2007, 08:51 PM
:thumbs up :laughing:

The first list is to be posted on the fridge , at the botttom of the door so they can read it :D


:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

we better have it translated for the doggies and kitties that don't speak english.:D

Frenchy
September 13th, 2007, 08:55 PM
:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

we better have it translated for the doggies and kitties that don't speak english.:D

My list will have to be bilingual :D english for Sam , french for Bailey and Nelly. As for the cats , they don't listen to either langage :laughing:

breeze
September 13th, 2007, 08:56 PM
hope you have a big fridge :D

Frenchy
September 13th, 2007, 09:05 PM
hope you have a big fridge :D

But I was thinking , I will write this : place your paw here (with mud) once you've read it. So after they all have read it , I could throw it out , they will remember the rules , will they ? :rolleyes:

breeze
September 13th, 2007, 09:07 PM
maybe some, depending on their age :laughing:

to young seletive remembering
too old they will forget