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boyfriend's cat is destroying me

allscratchedup
July 4th, 2007, 01:16 PM
alright so I never thought Ceaser was a mean cat. A little neurotic, but not the type to make me bleed every time I visit his territory.
my fear of him started when, out of nowhere, he went psycho on my left calf. The bite marks were so deep they caused massive bruising! Then the next week, he did the same on my other calf! THE NEXT WEEK I was lying in bed and he went all nutty on my forehead. This was the last straw because no joke, he was a coupe of milimeters from my EYES and a few minutes later, my back.
He could have just been going for the dangly bits of my hair or my clothes or whatever, but all his attacks are straight out of the blue, there's no real warning. And he's really fast too, which is kind of scary. he never does this to my boyfriend, just me!
I'm assuming it's partly territorial or maybe he's just not down with the smell of a stranger. Will he eventually become accustomed to me or should we lock him in the bathroom every time I visit?
Not in the mood to lose my eyesight, please help!
(p.s. he's an unneutered male, will he simmer down when he's fixed?)

krdahmer
July 4th, 2007, 01:56 PM
Yes encourage your boyfriend to neuter him as soon as possible for many reasons. It may not solve his aggression towards you though. I imagine if he went from number one in your boyfriends life to number two he is a bit bent out of shape. Do you ever feed him or give him treats? Have you ever been able to pet him? The only reason why cats attack aggressively is if they feel threatened (territorily or physically). So is your boyfriend shooing him away when you are there? (Make sure your boyfriend doesn't ignore the cat when you're there.) My vet suggested once for a cat that played too rough (biting and scratching) to hiss at the cat when it bites or gets too rough. They understand hissing. It's been working so far to set boundries with my biter.

And most important, be patient, cats do not easily accept change, it can take them months and sometimes years to adapt.

Oh and in the meantime keep a bottle of peroxide handy! I don't know of any cat owners who don't have at least a few good scars!:rolleyes:

badger
July 4th, 2007, 02:17 PM
Neutering will definitely help and the earlier the better because behaviours can get entrenched. I say give him a big bowl of food and lock him out of the bedroom. Cat bites can be really nasty.

jiorji
July 4th, 2007, 02:40 PM
heheh i have a theory about animals and their reaction to strangers...but i will keep that to myself:cool:

I assume you're in a new relationship. It'll take time for a cat to accept a new person in their life. Neutering might help, it might not. I know this is a strong pro neuter board and i agree for many reasons, however I don't think it will guarantee a change of behaviour. You should be willing to build a relationship with this cat. Give it treats and food and try to talk to him sweetly. If you're frustrated with him, I assure you he can feel it and i don't think it helps.

good luck:thumbs up

CyberKitten
July 4th, 2007, 02:47 PM
Neutering will help but cats do not think like us and they do not dislike people. They are pretty egalitarian when it comes down to it. One has to think like a cat and not a human. (There is a book called Do you Speak Cat which is actually rather good on understanding and communicating with your cat - I have 4, all different personalities! One alpha Siamese Seal Point is the ring leader though, lol)

They never take on anthropomorphic characteristics even tho it seems so sometimes. My guess is it is not you in particular but cats - all cats - hate and loathe change of any kind and you are a new addition in his life and this makes him unhappy. He may even be reacting to other pets you have as well or that you come in contact with - esp where he is unneutered. Try to talk to him nicely - bring him treats, don't sit in his favourite chair, both you and your bf should make a fuss over him when you come. Let his associate you with things that he likes. That - plus neutering - should help! I always hate to hear anyone say psycho cat because unless a cat has a serious illness, ts/he really is jus fine - it is a reaction to the environment and change is always a stress trigger for a cat, especially one that is not neutered! (Not to overemphasize that but..it IS very important!)

allscratchedup
July 4th, 2007, 05:24 PM
Thank you guys SO much for the advice! I'll bring along some treats and get my boyfriend to stop shooing Ceaser away (which he admittedly does).
Any more problems and I'll know where to turn! :thumbs up

ancientgirl
July 4th, 2007, 06:49 PM
All fantastic advice, maybe also you might suggest to your boyfriend to get the kitty some soft paws. Until he gets used to you and stops his aggressive scratching, the soft paws will at least cover the sharp nails.

When my friends come over, they don't really take time to say hello to me, they say hello to the kitties first. First Vlad, because he was here first, then Oksana then me. This way they don't feel left out.

Longblades
July 6th, 2007, 12:09 PM
FIRST THING - Cat bites can be very, very dangerous. Bites deep enough to cause massive bruising require a visit to the doctor for cleaning and perhaps a shot of antibiotic and a tetanus booster. Scratches aren't good for you either as we all know what cats do with their paws.

You have had many good suggestions and I have some to add. How do you interact with this cat? Do you attempt to talk to him, approach him etc? I suggest you DO NOT do that. Especially do not look him in the eye. Many cats will prefer to approach you on their own. Some, like some dogs, will interpret eye contact as an act of aggression on your part.

You might try this: If you catch him looking at you, close your eyes and look away. Even turn away and leave. Later you can try closing your eyes and yawning. I saw this on TV and it is cat talk for "I don't feel threatened by you so I feel safe to close my eyes and yawn." This translates to the cat as a non-threatening behaviour on your part and hopefully the cat will react likewise. I have used this many, many times when meeting a new cat and it nearly always works. If this cat likes to play I agree that play is wonderful for instilling confidence in them but try to do it without making eye contact.

Some cats do resource guard just as dogs do. If you think that might be his problem try to refrain from interacting with the BF in the cat's presence. One of my cats will not allow the other cats to be with me, she'll go over and give them a whack. Get the BF to pet the cat before he has anything to do with you as a reassurance to His Majesty the Cat that he comes first. Hopefully you will start to see the cat relax in your presence and can start normal interactions with the BF. Good Luck.

Love4himies
July 6th, 2007, 01:25 PM
All good advice. Longblades and Krdahmer are correct, cats normally only attack if they feel threatened or protecting their territory. If you are going to attempt to give this cat treats, do not make eye contact, talk softly and most importantly, let him come to you. Patience will be key. If he thinks you are invading his territory, neutering may help with that issue (he may feel that your bf is his possession and therefore his territory).

Any idea if this is a dominant male? In any case he should be neutered ASAP, he will make a better pet.

scratch06
July 10th, 2007, 02:20 AM
I have the same problem but my cat attacks everyone, even me. Sometimes I know its coming and somtimes its a surprise. A few people gave me the idea to use water bottles to spray him when he wants to attack so I am trying that. It is working he is not attacking but he will not take his eyes off his victum(thats what they feel like) I was also told about calming medicine. I put some in water but he will not drink it. Scratch is neutered. I found him when he was very young he was even bottle fed. He does have a sweet side he likes to cuddle and sleep with his face in your neck. Well I just wanted to let you know what I learned from this sight it might help you. Good Luck!

CyberKitten
July 10th, 2007, 05:55 PM
It was suggested by someone (sorry - I am at a loss to recall who) and that is not entirely true. Do not gkare at him but cats communicate in different ways than we do so if you do look him in the eye, make sure you blink. That s cat language for "hello, can we be friends?" or "I like you". It is impossible to translate into any human language but cats will understand that you do speak :cat" and that you are not a foe but a friend! They will understand it and often will blink back - I love having a kitty blink back. I feel as tho I've made a connection, esp when working with feral cats. They know you are a cat person but after 30 plus yrs of working with cats (all my life!), I know this works. My grandmother taught me this when I was just a toddler since she had this huge feral cat colony and it was always my ambition to "talk" to them in some way! I also think they know who cat people are, if only in the way we approach them and how we talk to them, how we communicate. Cats are very smart animals - and studies are finding them smarter all the time (ie, many studies are showing cats being capable of functions and understanding that scientists previously thought not possible).

Good luck - and blink at a new cat. Even blinking with new kittens is a good idea- they are going to be comfortable with you when born in your home anyway but if you blink at them, they KNOW from what their feline mama has taught them that you are understahd "cat" :)

scratch06
July 15th, 2007, 12:31 AM
I just wanted to let you know about a product I am trying called At Ease. I spray it where Scratch likes to sit, are in the room where the he spends alot of time. He seems more relaxed. Someone came over and he went rub up on them (instead of attacking). You are your boyfriend can purchase a bottle and he can spray it a few minutes before you arrive. The water bottle work as long as you had it in your hand the whole time he was around. Then he would sit and watch to see if you would put it down. That made people nervous. Its worth a try. (I brought it at pet smart) Good Luck!:fingerscr

badger
July 15th, 2007, 12:59 AM
At Ease - Ingredients: Active Ingredients: Contains Special Proprietary Blend of Fragrance Extracts (Simulated Pheromones), Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (1.8%), Rosemary Oil (0.8%), Thyme (0.8%). Inert Ingredients: Purified Water